Chapter 9
This girl plays with my control as if it’s a damn yo-yo, pulling at each frail strand until it snaps. It was hard enough when I forced every excuse on us, but now her safety is my number one priority.
She’s so damn alluring that it’s getting harder and harder to stay away. The lines blur when she looks at me like this—big eyes swimming with desire, tempting me to dive in and consume her the way she consumes me.
I am not in control of myself when I lift the muffin and bring it to her luscious lips. Goddamn it, that kiss still replays in my mind, my insides burning for a repeat.
She takes a bite, chewing slowly without breaking eye contact. I watch her tender throat swallowing, and my entire body shakes, ready to unleash my pent-up desire. Yet, I can’t stop myself from feeding her.
“Good, Silver?” I ask, not recognizing my hoarse voice dripping with forbidden lust. Mentally, I go through the list of why I should keep my fucking distance. But her presence decimates the reasons, one by one.
I am in a damn trance as she eats the sweet treat. A few crumbs cling to the corner of her mouth, and I am dying to lick them off—to taste her, to devour her from the inside out. Grazing the contour of her lips with my thumb, she bites the tip. My cock stirs to life, eager to bury himself in her.
She better never give me the names of those fuckers who were where I have been dying to get: inside of her. I’d fucking kill them and have zero remorse. Searing jealousy wreaks havoc through me at just the thought of someone else seeing her naked, caressing her skin, and fucking her.
My thumb dips into her mouth, and she sucks on it, trapping me in a fog of inescapable lust. I imagine her lips wrapped around my dick, and I get painfully hard at the thought alone. With sheer willpower, I take a step back. Her shuddering breath hits my ears.
“I have to get back to training.”
“Yeah, sure,” she says, placing the plate down with one remaining muffin.
The moment the door closes behind her, I hit the bag, hoping to deplete myself of the desire to go to her and ease both of our aches.
I don’t know how much time passes, but I am swaying on my feet, exhausted. Hunter strides inside, and the asshole pins me with a hard stare.
“I thought I made myself clear.”
I step right up to him. “Let’s get one thing straight. No one and nothing could keep me from protecting Mia. Got that?”
Nostrils flaring, he cocks his head, and I add, “But then, how would you split your time between watching Bailey and your sister? Pick.”
He glares at me. Yeah, asshole, I’ve been watching you too.
“You watch over Mia. Nothing else.”
I am trying my damn best. I keep my mouth shut because something tells me that Mia will break me for good eventually. I hope she knows what she does by constantly teasing and tantalizing me.
When he leaves, I eat the remaining muffin, but it doesn’t satiate me when I crave something else of hers.
My mind is a damn mess as I return to my room.
Gone are the days when I went through my fights as a lost soul, wandering from one place to another.
After I shower, there’s a knock at my door. Kaden steps inside right when I finish wrapping the towel around my hips.
“This is a long stretch, but I am desperate. Give me something. During your time with Felix and Caleb, did you catch something about where they would go if things went south, people from their inner circle?”
“It wasn’t like that. Whenever my father summoned me to the laboratory, it was to learn from him—the best. I had little contact with Felix. Do you think I would still be here if I knew potential locations?”
“Knowing you, no.”
We both stiffen at the reminder that he and I have trusted each other all our lives. Regardless of what happened between us, it’s impossible to just forget that we’ve had each other’s back since we could barely walk and talk. We have been an integral part of each other’s lives, sharing a bond that no secret, no betrayal could break.
“You still owe me an honest answer, though.”
“I don’t owe you shit.”
“Tell me what they had you do. I haven’t forgotten what you said about me not having any fucking idea of what you did to keep us safe.”
Fuck his memory, and fuck my emotions getting the better of me. But he and Abi looking at me like I was a traitor was like a damn dagger plunged into my chest and exiting my back.
“You want to know what father dearest did to me?”
Fear flashes in his eyes. “I do.”
“Too bad I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I hurt you with my accusation, but put yourself in my position for one fucking second. I feel like our whole brotherhood was one-sided because you never let me see inside of you.”
“No one wants to see inside of me.”
“I fucking do.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “You know what I regret the most? Having the opportunity to kill them. I wanted to end the corruption, thinking everything would be better once they were locked away. But those fuckers found a way out. It’s driving me insane not knowing who helped them.” He looks at me and adds, “Please, trust me. I need you, Blake.”
“Now you do, asking me things as if––”
“I am taking accountability. Do that too, asshole. Our friendship took the hardest dent because of you too. We’re both to blame.”
When he turns to leave, I say, “I would have rather died than betray you. My loyalty to you and our group has never wavered. But I saw things, experienced things…”
“Why not tell me Cassandra was alive?”
“It was her choice. When I saw her the first time, she was a damn shadow of a person. Slowly, I made sure she got on her feet, mentally and physically. Fuck, I already betrayed one matriarch, I wanted to do the right thing this once.”
“You came back for her.”
“I came back because Cassandra thinks this family needs me.”
“This family does need you, but you’re a stubborn asshole.”
“I can’t stay.”
“At least this time I will have prepared myself. Thanks for the heads up. I hope you find what apparently neither of us can give you.”
Redemption. Neither of them can make me see anyone other than a damn killer of an innocent when I look in the mirror. Alone, those dark thoughts swirl in my head, spreading their thick web and strangling the life out of every light.
Putting on sweatpants and a T-shirt, I climb into bed. Opening my laptop, I log into the dark web’s market portal. The chances of finding something are slim, but someone must know something.
After perusing it for hours and finding nothing, I slam the lid shut.
The moon is high in the sky, and my obsession wins once again. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I let myself into Mia’s room. She’s curled on her side, her palm resting on the pillow in front of her face. So graceful and ethereal, my Silver.
The lamp casts a dim light on her perfect face: perfect symmetry, perfect features, perfect everything. I could gaze at her all my life and not get enough of her.
When I approach the bed, she stiffens. The little liar is not asleep, just ignoring my presence. I hope she keeps doing that so I can preserve this sham of restraint.
I take stock of the shelf near her bed and notice dozens of romance books lined up by color. The darker ones catch my attention. I flick through one, reading the trigger warnings. This sounds like a story I would enjoy. Taking it with me, I plop in the chair by her desk.
“Nothing could happen to me here.”
“I don’t want to risk it.”
“Watch out, or I might start thinking you actually care.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
She scoots up, eyes blazing when she sees what’s in my hands.
“Oh my god. No. Don’t you dare read that.”
“Now you’ve made me even more curious, Silver.”
“Please, go. I can’t sleep with you here.”
“We both know you can.”
She huffs and flops on her back.
My eyes skim through the first page, and fuck me, but this one starts strong with the guy stalking the heroine.
I send her a smirk. “I thought you were a good girl. Tell me what you like about this one.”
“We’re not doing this again.”
“I’ll let you know what I think you like once I finish it then.”
“You’re insufferable.”
I chuckle, and while I continue reading, she tosses and turns in bed until she shifts on her side, watching me. Not lifting my gaze from the book, I peer at her from the corner of my eye.
I come to the first sex scene, and damn, I thought my desires were depraved. This guy chased the girl and then fucked her in the woods like a damn animal. I squirm in my seat. The thought of Mia liking that gets me hot and bothered. Imagining chasing her until I catch her and take her however I fucking please makes me so damn horny and hard. I slap the book shut, readjusting myself in my sweatpants.
“Too much for you?”
The pencils scatter around when I stand up and slam the book down on her desk. I am ruled by animalistic instincts and nothing else. She swallows when I reach her bed. Placing my hands on each side of her face, I cage her in.
“That guy has nothing on me. You like dark, I am the fucking epitome of that. I would swallow you whole. Those books are safe. I am not.”
She lifts an elegant finger, brushing it against my chest. It starts a fire inside of me, ravaging my insides. Then she glides her finger down until she reaches the waistband of my pants.
“You’ve been saying that for so long… I think you’re more bark than bite.”
Get the fuck away from her. This is exactly what she wants—for you to finally break for good.
I wrap my hand around her throat, squeezing gently. I am sick in the head, but every time I feel her pulse kick, it brings my comatose heart to life—as if some invisible cord tethers us.
“Now what, Blake? Here I am… at your mercy, surrendering.”
“Stop saying shit like that.”
“What got to you when you read that book? Him chasing her, making her take whatever he wanted, or her enjoying every depraved second of it and wanting even more?”
I shut my eyes, my body vibrating with all I keep locked away. I want to keep her safe, but she gets under my skin, calling out for that beast rattling in its confines.
“But I am a good girl, right? Let me tell you a secret.” She arches her back from the bed and pushes her tits into my chest. Ignoring my hand around her throat, she says, “I want to be dirtied up, fucked hard.”
I release her with a groan that rings with frustration and storm out of her room as if a horde of famished hyenas is chasing me.
Shutting the door to my room behind me, I pull my hard-as-fuck cock out. It leaks pre-cum, whimpering for her.
You’re not getting her.
With angry strokes, I jerk off to images of her. Me chasing her and dirtying the fuck out of her, ruining her for all others. She should thank me. Fantasy is one thing. Reality is something else.
I slam my palm on the wall next to the door while the other pumps my cock up and down. I hear her sweet voice in my ear, moaning my name as I pound into her. It’s not my hand, it’s her sweet pussy that I’m fucking raw.
She wants hard? I am so hard for her, I’d fuck her to madness and back.
My balls tighten, the pressure of my release shooting up my shaft until I come all over my hand, panting heavily.
Damn it, it’s not enough. I want to see her painted in my fucking cum.
She’s not a good girl. She’s a bad girl who likes to play with fire.
It’s only a matter of time. The alarm to my doomsday ticks incessantly.
I hope she’s ready for what she unleashes a bit more every time we’re together. It’s not that I didn’t warn her. I have never been a gentleman. She has been the exception in my life. I wanted to be the good guy. For her. But she keeps tempting and testing me. I’m only human, after all.