Chapter 10
“Why are you grinning like you’re dying to tell us something?” Celine asks as we get out of the car on the main campus, her breath visible in the frigid air. We opted to take the car today—it’s the coldest day yet.
I feel the heat on my cheeks, but I am still replaying last night’s events. I have no idea what got into me, but seeing him teetering on the edge was liberating.
“Am I?”
“You definitely are,” Abi says, and Bailey looks at me with rapt interest.
“So maybe something happened…”
“What?” they both squeal.
I love that the girls seem so enthusiastic, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Still, I need to share this with them so they can tell me to stop whatever is happening between Blake and me. I will end up with a thoroughly smashed heart if I don’t.
“Blake has taken it upon himself to watch over me. He’s always kept his distance, and now that I want him to do it, he’s everywhere.”
“You have it bad for him. It’s more than a crush,” Celine says.
I nod, not wanting to lie to them. It’s love, an all-encompassing feeling I can’t escape. I feel so alone, trapped in my love for him, that sometimes, I wish it would just go away so I could be free—cured of him. Maybe a reality check from my friends will help me overcome my romantic notions.
“He cares about you,” Abi offers.
He cares about the entire group. I am no one special.
“He took the role of watching you and no one else,” Bailey says next.
“Why do I feel like you’re encouraging this madness?”
“Because you were miserable when he was away. And how’s dating working out?” Abi asks.
“Don’t even start. Who in their right mind would go in the ring with Blake? He’s so confusing…”
Abi and Celine exchange a bemused look.
“What?”
“He’s jealous and possessive. I wonder why?” Celine asks, barely containing her amusement.
“I don’t know… ugh!”
Abi places her palms on my shoulders. “Tough love time. Go for what you want.”
“He won’t even stay.”
“Because we pushed him away,” Abi sighs and adds, “But everyone stays for a good reason.”
“You could be his,” Bailey says.
This talk went in a direction I didn’t see coming. I wanted them to help me clear my mind and focus on finding a solution for my unrequited feelings, not stoke the embers of hope.
“I don’t want to be that pushy, clingy girl. He would have made it clear if he were interested in me like that.”
“We’re talking about Blake here. I don’t know what happened to him and that’s on me, but that never stopped you before,” Abi says.
If his best friends don’t know, I doubt he’ll confide in me.
Kaden and Dane walk toward us from the parking lot, and I smile when they both sneak their arms around Celine and Abigail’s waists.
What would it feel like to live a love story like theirs? It must be amazing. For now, I guess I have to remain content reading about them.
The couples leave, lost in their own world.
My brother leans against the side of his car, watching Bailey.
“Would you miss him terribly if I made him disappear?” she asks, scowling at Hunter.
“What did he do now?”
“He’s driving me insane.”
I want to say, “I feel you,” but Bailey marches away to catch up with the others.
I walk toward my brother and lean into his side.
“So?”
“Don’t even start. Someone has to look after the girl with her face constantly looking at a device. She’s driving me fucking crazy.”
I press my lips together and rest my head against his shoulder. “Missing your life back in London where no one drove you crazy?”
He stiffens, and his eyes take on a haunted expression. He’s my twin, and I feel something else bothering him.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. Dad is acting strange.”
“How strange?” I talked to him yesterday, and he seemed okay.
“He made jokes and started reminiscing about our childhood, reminding me that I am his favorite son.”
He gives me a knowing look, and I giggle.
“That asshole Blake was gone for two months, now he’s everywhere.”
I don’t have to tilt my head to know Blake’s somewhere, always watching over me but never making a move.
“I can deal with him.”
“Sis, you’ve been drooling after the bastard since the moment you saw him.”
I elbow him playfully, and he tucks me to his side. “Are you all right with him here?”
“Yeah, no problem. I’m perfectly fine. I am trying to date others.”
His entire face scrunches up. “Is it to distract yourself or forget about a certain someone?”
“A little bit of both…” I don’t say I’ve come across a few impediments. Actually, it’s just one–– him . I should be enraged at Blake for daring to mess with my dating life, but strangely, I am not. In my disillusioned mind, Blake doesn’t want me to date because he wants me for himself.
With a headache throbbing behind my temples, I hug my brother one more time and we walk toward our classes.
Mr. Thiel is my favorite professor. He engages the class by involving us and always challenging our opinions. His social and cultural studies class has always had heated but passionate debates about human nature. As a teacher, he’s my role model— never criticizing our opinions, instead questioning our arguments to reveal all layers.
When I step out of the classroom, Blake is there, a few feet away. Students crowding the hall steal glances at him and then at me.
I sweep my hand over my body as I reach him. “Yay. I survived my class. No gunman came after me.”
“Never joke about that.” There it is—that fire in his gaze that makes my insides combust.
“You’re right. Sorry, but you should do your thing. I can take care of myself.”
“I can’t stop looking after you.”
“But you don’t have to.”
“I can’t help myself.”
Somehow, we drew nearer during our talk. That always happens, as if an invisible cord wraps around us, pulling us closer. Our chests brush, and I crane my neck. My lips tingle just imagining his pressed against mine.
Break at the seams for me like I do you.
He cocks his head. “Do you have more classes today?”
“Why? Are you taking me out on a date?” I ask, totally playing, knowing full well he has my schedule memorized. Stalker.
He arches an arrogant brow, oozing unwavering confidence. “No one else would.”
He’s too appealing for my self-preservation. Period. I dig my finger into his chest, proud to hold my own. “Your confidence is astounding, but I will find someone. Watch me.”
“You keep saying that.”
Anger bubbles on the surface, and I turn on my heel. I’d date anyone now just to piss him off and shake his confidence a bit. I’ll show him. I am persistent, something he should know.
***
I change in my bedroom for the weekly dinner at the estate. As I wave my hand through my hair to add a bit of volume, my eyes peruse my collection of hair clips. I pick the one from my precious collection of the many he gave me, my hands shaking from the wave of emotions sweeping through me. He leaves one for me on my nightstand every night.
The dark romance book he’s reading lies face down on my desk. He’s almost finished with it. Every night during the last two weeks, he has come to my room while I pretend he’s not there. It’s become a damn routine. Like clockwork, he shows up at eleven p.m., walking in as if he owns the place.
Blake looks at me, then he takes his seat at my desk and starts reading. I know when he comes across a steamy scene—he shifts in his seat, and then watches me long and intently. I feel that intense gaze heating me up. It’s a miracle I haven’t jumped his bones to relieve both of our needs. Instead, I turn away, hoping he can’t hear my accelerated heartbeats.
I straighten my knee-length dress, slip on a jacket and boots, and walk downstairs before everyone else. When Blake descends the stairs, my ovaries practically scream in delight. He looks mouthwateringly good in a button-down shirt hugging his sculpted chest, and slacks fitting his toned thighs, paired with impeccable white sneakers.
We stare at each other. I lift my nose in the air, not breaking eye contact. A smirk tips up the corner of his mouth as he cocks his head.
I swirl around just to fuck with him. “Like what you see?”
“Dressing up for me, Silver?”
“No, I have a date after dinner.”
His jaw clenches, giving me immense pleasure. It’s a lie, but he doesn’t know that. I plan to go to The Cave afterward.
He eats the distance between us in three long strides and backs me into the wall behind me. His spicy, sensual scent and heady nearness envelop me. I can’t think straight. The more I ignore him, the more he’s in my face.
Lifting his hand, he caresses my cheek with his knuckles, tsking lightly. “Poor bastard. I really thought you’d be a good girl. While you’re on your date, write his eulogy as well.”
“Sorry, not sorry.” It takes everything in me not to clench my fingers into his shirt and climb him like a monkey in heat.
His hand moves to my chin, gripping it gently but firmly, forcing me to acknowledge how trapped I am by a simple touch, by him just looking at me.
“You’re dying to unleash that side of me, aren’t you?”
But our moment is interrupted when Bailey walks down the stairs. He takes a step back while she glances from me to him, then walks past and out the door.
When the rest of the group comes downstairs, we pile into the cars to head to the estate.
Abigail taps her finger on the wheel in excitement. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to the track with us?”
“Not my scene, but have fun,” I say.
“And you, Bailey?” Celine asks.
“I have an essay due, so no. But enjoy it.”
“I can’t wait,” Abigail says. She really loves to race, and I am more comfortable knowing they’re on the race track than when they used to race at the cliff.
“What bet do you two have going on now?” Celine asks Abi.
“One I have to win.”
“That guy would give you anything you want anyway,” I offer.
“I know. But a little fun never hurt anyone.”
I didn’t go to any of the dinners when the old matriarch ruled, but I like the ones with Cassandra. She involves us and genuinely cares.
The butler leads us to the dining room where she’s waiting for us. A smile curves her lips, but I catch the worry lines etched in the corners of her eyes. My body tenses automatically, aware of what that means. Nothing new.
“Any plans for tonight?” she asks, sweeping her gaze over each of us knowingly.
“Ma’am, please, we need some fun,” Celine says, looking at her mother with puppy-dog eyes.
“I should prohibit you from racing,” she replies, raising a brow.
“But we’re careful. It’s better to race in a safe environment than keep doing it at the cliff,” Kaden says.
“Is that okay, Dane?”
“Ma’am, the Family is my biggest sponsor. My team doesn’t even bat an eyelash at us racing, and the security guards know the drill.”
“I should be more strict. But you’re only young for such a short period,” she says, sighing. “The security team will be there.”
Groans echo around the table, but I don’t catch who they’re from because Blake keeps staring at me, completely stealing my breaths.
“And what about you?” she asks the rest of us.
“Home,” Bailey says.
“Meeting with some friends,” I answer.
“Making sure someone behaves,” Blake says, looking pointedly at me. I glare at him in response. He downs a glass of water, tapping his finger on the rim, clearly restless. I thought he’d go racing with the others. But apparently, he doesn’t do that any longer either. No, he found a better pastime: tormenting me.
“Visiting Dad,” Hunter answers.
“Good, now, let’s eat.”
When we’re excused and back at the house, Kaden, Celine, Abi, and Dane hop in their respective cars and take off.
“Adrenaline junkies,” Bailey says as we walk inside.
“I’ll go to The Cave,” I tell her.
“I can’t let you go alone.”
“Nothing will happen.” I gesture at the three security guards trying their best to blend in.
“Still.”
“You really don’t have to do this.”
“I’m coming with you, and I need a breather.”
With arms looped around each other, we walk in silence down the cobblestone road leading to the Cave.
“All this security makes me even more nervous,” I say.
“Me too, and they keep adding more. That means only one thing.”
“So let’s live a bit,” I offer.
“You know what? You’re right.”
The moment we step inside The Cave, the windows rattle from the powerful beat, and the low bass makes my insides vibrate. Big speakers are planted in each corner, with black paint covering the windows. Lights beam from the ceiling, making the atmosphere brim with the thrill of the forbidden.
As students drink and dance in what used to be the old sports facility on campus, my worries dim, swept away by the possibility of letting loose for a while.
We move through the crowd and straight for the polished bar lined with every alcohol bottle imaginable. Xander sees me and then sways his gaze to Bailey, openly flirting.
This guy. I shake my head at him.
“Don’t be jealous, but I like to keep my limbs,” he says, winking at me.
I huff in response. Even if I moved to another planet, someone must have heard of Blake.
Xander puts two glasses in front of us. We down them quickly, and then I take Bailey’s hand. “Let’s dance.”
Everyone parts for us, and when we’re in the middle of the dance floor, I let the music take me somewhere else. But when I open my eyes, I see Bailey tapping furiously.
“What’s wrong?”
“Your brother. Ugh. Someone tell him he’s not my father.”
She shoves her phone back in her bag. A cute frown digs between her brows, but she keeps dancing.
Knowing my twin, he’ll be here any minute now.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” she announces.
“I’ll go with you.”
She shakes her head, walking away. I head to the bar, enjoying my second drink when Hunter appears at my side.
“Where is she?” he asks.
I lift the glass to my mouth. “Bailey’s in the bathroom. Nothing will happen to her. We’re safe here.”
“You don’t know that,” he says, striding away.
Stubborn as ever, being his usual control freak self. He’s so tense all the damn time that I’m afraid my twin will snap.
Tyson takes the seat next to me and orders a drink. That’s never happened before. Glancing around, I quickly figure out the reason for his change in demeanor: his stepsister is dancing with some guy.
“Girl problems?”
He mumbles something unintelligible, and a light bulb goes off in my head.
“You know guys, right?” I ask.
A contrite expression takes over his features. “Yeah, so?”
“I want to date, and no one wants to date me because they’re afraid of Blake.”
He looks at Ivy and then back at me. “Let’s say I entertain this.”
“You are entertaining this.”
“It could cost me my friendship with Blake.”
“I never said anything about you…”
“I’m the only one crazy enough to go in the ring with him.”
Blake’s getting restless, and fighting seems to help him. For a few moments, he finds some calm. I know that because I’ve watched him.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I really don’t,” I admit, but the limbo is killing me.
Speaking of the devilishly gorgeous guy and the bane of my existence, Blake comes straight over to us. His expression is fierce as he towers over me. He grips my chin, making me look at him.
“What was the rule, Mia?”
I forget my own name when I look into his eyes. This is going into unhealthy territory. Obsession, madness, and desire all weave together, consuming me.
“Not only can I take care of myself, but Tyson would protect me.”
“Would he?” Blake snaps his gaze to him.
“I would, and not just because I am considering dating her.”
For a moment, the pumping of my heart overshadows the music in my ears.
“Or you could go back in the ring,” Tyson challenges.
The asshole. This guy always has an agenda. Nothing is for free.
“Kiss her, and I will cut your lips off. Touch her, and I will break your hands. Fuck her, and I guarantee you that’s the last thing you’ll do.”
My insides liquefy into lava. That threat delivered in his deep voice does things to me, making me all hot and bothered.
Tyson, unaware of the seriousness in Blake’s voice—or simply not caring, places an arm around my shoulder. I go limp, boneless under Blake’s intent stare before a smirk curls the corners of his lips.
“You want to play, Tyson? Let’s play.”
He turns around, and dread swallows me as I watch him saunter over to Tyson’s stepsister.
“Motherfucker. If he touches Ivy, I will lose my damn mind and kill him.”
“This is on you. You had to gamble.”
“Me? Who keeps poking the bear?”
He downs a second shot. “Let’s see who loses control first.”
This is a very dangerous game. One I shouldn’t entertain, but I’ve reached my breaking point. Something has to happen. Anything to escape the back and forth, or I’ll end up a basket case.
His eyes fix on his stepsister. While Ivy talks to Blake, a muscle twitches in Tyson’s jaw.
“I hope you’re worth it.”
I arch a brow at him. “We both know you’re not doing this for me.”
“And smart. No wonder the asshole is so possessive of you.”
Tyson is a handsome guy with sharp features and deep-set eyes, oozing that dangerous, bad-boy aura. Yet, he does nothing for me. No one does anything for me. It’s like my heart and body react only to Blake, knowing who I belong to.
Tyson places a hand on my hip, and with the other, he pulls me closer.
In my peripheral vision, I see Blake pulling Ivy to the middle of the dance floor, and more eyes follow them than us.
Tyson goes rigid when Blake whispers something in her ear.
Jealousy roars its beastly head, splintering any common sense. I don’t think; I react as I lift on my toes and plant my mouth on Tyson’s, taking us both by surprise.
I don’t even have time to process what I did when Blake shoves Tyson off me, his chest heaving.
“You have your fucking fight,” Blake spits, nostrils flaring.
Ivy rushes out, and Tyson runs after her like we’re the stars of a cliché, forbidden romance movie. Wanting what you can’t have makes you act stupid.
So much hurt and accusation reflect in Blake’s eyes, rooting me in place. But not for long. Who does he think he is, playing with my heart like that, making me act like a lunatic? This is not me.
“Fuck you,” I scream at him and take off, but he’s right behind me.
“I’m going to fuck him up so good, and I’ll enjoy every fucking second.”
“Why would you? You looked pretty cozy with her.”
“Don’t start playing games you can’t win.”
“Sorry my experience doesn’t compare with your vast one.”
“Get in the car.”
“Fuck you, Blake.”
“Keep saying that, and I am definitely fucking something tonight.”
“Empty threats. And don’t you dare come to my room tonight.”
“Should I go to someone else’s, then?”
I look ahead because I might kill him for even suggesting that. Meanwhile, Blake gets in his car and drives next to me, showing he doesn’t have one single self-preserving bone in his body. With my blood boiling, the chilly night doesn’t even faze me.
When we reach the house, I shove the door shut in his face, but he storms inside, making me take a step back. We’re both breathing heavily, and there’s something heady in the air.
“I thought you’d go to someone else,” I say, striking the match in an already combustible environment.
He takes a step toward me. “Shut up, or I’ll shut you up.”
Flames dance between us, fueled by challenge.
I wipe the strands of hair that are getting in my face, refusing to budge. “How?”
“Keep provoking me. I dare you to say one more thing.”
“Thing.”
And then he descends on me. Backing me into the wall, he slams his mouth on mine. Madness ensues, and passion breaks free. It’s a bruising, punishing kiss that I feel down to my marrow. One hand digs into my ass cheek, and the other he wraps around my neck, keeping me in place. I wouldn’t want it any other way, but to burn in this inferno-filled passion only he ignites in me.
It’s like he douses my body in kerosene with his passionate kisses, lighting me up with his tongue. He doesn’t kiss me but devours my mouth and ravishes my lips with every nibble, tongue sucking as if he can’t get enough of me.
Let him burn for me. It’s the only time I believe that he might feel something more for me, but then he pulls away, tearing his mouth from mine. The look of dishevelment on his face both excites and terrifies me.
“Go to your room and lock the door. Don’t let me inside tonight.”
“I knew it. A damn coward. Nothing but empty threats.”
One second ticks by so slowly while we stare each other down. By the next second, a predatory gaze takes over, making his eyes appear almost black. With the third second, he expels a long, slow breath. He’s done. This is the moment he falls apart.
“Fuck it. You’ve tested me to the brink of insanity. You’re getting fucked.”
He backs me into the wall so fast, lifts me up by my ass, and rips my thong off. I don’t have time to blink or rejoice in this glorious moment that takes me completely by surprise. While I wanted this with every fiber of my being, I never thought it would happen.
“They could come back home any moment.”
Shut up, mouth. This is what we wanted.
Heartbreak, here I come, but body, I hope he’ll give you a night worth remembering.
“You should have thought about that before you tempted me to the point of no return.”
I swallow hard. Damn, this is not how I imagined losing my virginity.