Chapter Nineteen
‘I think ‘fart pants’ was the worst one I knew.’
‘Bog breath was my favourite.’
‘Oh killer. How far did that get you?’
‘All the way to the second bell, where my vocabulary was rapidly expanded by sharing litter duty with Year Nine.’
Jemima laughed. ‘That’s the third year, isn’t it?’
Paddy and Jemima were sitting in Jemima’s kitchen, enjoying a bowl of soup for lunch and sharing tales of school. The day before Paddy had been all but ready to leave Cornwall. She had been here almost three months and thought it had been working out. The scene at the hotel though had shaken her and she felt completely alone and out of her depth, when her phone rang. She didn’t recognise the number, but very few people had it so she answered cautiously. An unfamiliar voice started chatting with great familiarity and it took a few minutes before Paddy worked out it was Jemima, Caroline’s daughter, who she had met very briefly at the bar.
‘Anyway, Mum said you were new to the area and keen to go riding so I thought I’d give you a call and say hi. It’s rotten being the new girl and everything and I just wanted to reassure you we aren’t all placard waving thugs. So, do you want to come over?’
Paddy had put the phone down, relieved that the girl hadn’t associated her with the protestors. Clearly Hal hadn’t stuck the knife in. She shivered again at how angry he had been at her. It seemed wholly out of order. What right did he have to judge her? Even if she had been a protestor, he was way angrier at her than he had been at any of the other actual protestors. Just when she was beginning to forgive him for being a philandering git and an arrogant hooray Henry, he again revealed his true colours.
. Uncertain what sort of ride Jemima had in mind when she called, Paddy placed both sets of boots in the car and headed off in jeans and a tweed jacket over a silk blouse; thin layers were always best when riding. She also tied her hair back into a long plait and headed off.
Arriving at Spinney Barton, Paddy wondered if Cornwall had any normal roads. She had become a lot more comfortable driving around her local lanes; she had learnt where the nearest passing spaces were and had become quite proficient at reversing. As the year began to warm up, she was noticing the roads were becoming busier with visitors. On one occasion she had been happily driving along when she came nose to nose with a bus. She was astonished, given the size of the road, but the driver seemed relaxed and gave her a small toot and a wave after she reversed 100 yards back into a lay-by. She was so delighted that she had managed this by herself she spent the rest of the drive smiling to herself.
The drive down to Jemima’s house was bumpy and full of potholes. Murmuring encouragement to her car, she hoped she wasn’t ripping the undercarriage apart. Imagine arriving somewhere new and having to explain your car was dead and blocking the drive.
As she drove into the yard a pair of geese came running over, honking and hissing. She wondered if these were the nipping sort. The ones at the city farm used to make a lot of noise and occasionally would nip you as well. But they usually only went for the boys that would run after them and try and catch them. Just as she decided to brave it, the front door of the house opened and Jemima came out waving at the geese and driving them back to the side of the house.
‘Sorry about that,’ she called out, ‘they won’t hurt. Angus wanted to install a security system, which I thought was ridiculous, what with the dogs and all, but he’s away so much that we compromised on geese. Not sure that it was that good an idea though. They crap everywhere, look at it. Come on in and mind where you step.’
As Paddy made her way to the front door she agreed that Jemima had a point; the whole of the front drive was littered in droppings. Spinney Barton was a lovely low-slung farmhouse that seemed to spread across several levels. It sat on a ridge and looked down over miles of fields and woods and, in the far distance, Paddy could just about spot the sea. Smiling at Jemima, she told her how lovely her home was.
Jemima beamed. ‘It sure is, but currently the view is the best thing about it. We bought it last year, when John, the previous owner, died. I think he was born here and honestly that was about the last time anyone had done any work on it. I grew up nearby and knew the place; when it came up on the market, I dragged Angus along and thankfully he fell in love with it as well.’
As she chatted, she led Paddy in through a small corridor with slate flagstones on the floor and into a small kitchen with battered Formica units. The slate floors were nothing like her manicured tiles in the beach house. These were massive slabs the size of gravestones. They were laid where they fell, and the floor was uneven and mismatched because of it. There was a freestanding white stone sink with chips in it and some massive cast iron contraption that took up half the wall. A gentle heat radiated from it and Paddy guessed it was some sort of ancient cooker.
She looked around for somewhere to sit down but the chairs seemed covered in paperwork or cats. Shooing the cats out of the kitchen, Jemima grabbed a tea towel and wiped the chair down and then threw her arms out. ‘Ta-dah. Home sweet home. Isn’t it a pit?’
Making a coffee she apologised that it was just instant, but Paddy smiled. Instant was fine. If anything Jemima was putting her at her ease. She wasn’t sure what to expect. When Paddy had met them, she had been struck by how incredibly posh they all were. They all sounded like the Queen or something, and seemed unaware of their easy elegance and authority. To her they had felt like a solid pack and she had stood as an outsider wondering how to engage with them. All she had was her glamour, and in her eyes that was a superficial construct. She also had a title but that meant even less to her. Basically she was an East End girl who had grown up poor, in a little terrace. Now here she was wining and dining in homes that had larger hallways than her entire childhood home. God knows, she didn’t have an inferiority complex, she made friends wherever she went, but she just felt a little out of place. Maybe that was why she liked Jemima’s rambling farmhouse. It might be large but it wasn’t intimidating in the least.
‘I like it. Feels like a home.’
Jemima smiled and waved a packet of biscuits in her direction. ‘Sorry they’re not home baked; the oven beats me every time so I’ve given up.’
Paddy listened in silence as she continued to explain how the house was a work in progress. ‘The problem is we’re now on a bit of a deadline on account of me getting pregnant! It’s a bit unexpected but we’re thrilled. Just, well the house is barely habitable. God knows how we’ll manage with a baby. Angus has taken on extra work in London so we can speed up the renovations of this property. Kitchen first clearly. But that’s why we have the geese. Angus came over all protective and hates the idea of my being here on my own. It seemed like a good idea but Mapp and Lucia are proving to be more hassle than they’re worth.’
‘Mapp and Lucia?’ exclaimed Paddy, thinking of the noisy geese outside. ‘That’s perfect! I love those books. Oh they would be so cross to have geese named after them!’
Both girls laughed and began to swap other favourite books, quickly finding they had lots in common and sharing suggestions the other hadn’t heard of. Jemima stood up and, telling Paddy to follow her, wandered down another dark little corridor until they reached a room full of bookshelves. Looking around she found the book she was looking for and handed it to Paddy. ‘He’s a brilliant writer, properly funny, and the book’s set in London so you can tell me if he’s got those details right or not.’
Jemima continued the tour of the house and Paddy agreed there was still a hell of a lot to do. ‘Will you just lock these rooms off until the floorboards are put in?’
Jemima groaned. ‘Honestly, I think we’ll have to seal up this end of the building until we have a new roof. Thank God we don’t have bats.’
‘Do they bite?’
‘No.’ Jem looked at Paddy in alarm. ‘At least I don’t think so. Well I suppose vampire bats do, but no, if you have bats roosting in your buildings, you’re not allowed to do any renovations. It’s a real issue. St Withy’s church has bats and every morning the pews are covered in droppings. They’ve had to raise funds to buy special nets to catch the droppings, rather than remove the bats. Ridiculous, isn’t it? But happily no bats here.’
Laughing, Paddy ducked under a beam as they continued their tour along the twisting corridors and tiny little rooms. ‘So what does Angus do in the city to be able to fund your money pit?’
‘He’s a broker for a yachting company. His father used to sail so it helped get his toe in the door. That’s when I first met him, at a local sailing regatta. We spent the whole day racing each other and then all through supper we swapped film quotes. The following day I flew out to Kenya to work on a volunteer project, building schools. I was gutted. There I was thinking I had just met the love of my life and then I had to leave him. Anyway,’ she held back a piece of peeling wallpaper as they continued their inspection of the house, ‘there I was lumping bricks across this courtyard in Nairobi, sweating like an elephant, when someone shouted out Humperdink! and I turned round and saw Angus all gleaming and fresh off the plane, and I shouted Humperdink back, and that was that. Twoo love.’
Both girls were laughing openly at The Princess Bride quotes and Paddy said how romantic it all was.
‘I know,’ said Jemima, ‘it was like we were in a movie. He’d gone to my folks to find out where I was working and arranged everything to come out and join me. Apparently, he had fallen in love with me on our first night as well.’ A huge smile was plastered on her face and Paddy couldn’t help but smile back. What a gorgeous story. ‘So we continued working abroad for a few months and when our placement was over, we came home and he proposed. And now here we are living the dream, surrounded in goose shit, collapsed ceilings, dodgy water and separated for most of the week.’
Paddy was concerned; imagine having to deal with all this and be pregnant as well?
‘Honestly, it’s not all bad. Come and let me show you the best bit. Do you have wellies?’
As the girls passed Paddy’s car, she pulled out her regular boots. Definitely more a slobbies occasion. As she did Jemima looked over her shoulder and exclaimed when she saw her riding boots. ‘Are they K?nigs? God, they are seriously lovely. Mind you, it’s a bit too muddy for them here. Stick to your Aigles.’
As they walked beyond the farmhouse Paddy noted the mess and chaos of the house began to be replaced with neat edges. Walking through a well-oiled gate they entered a stable block that was as spick and span as the house was scruffy. Buckets were neatly stacked, tools were hung up under gutters that were free of weeds. The concrete floor was clean and devoid of mud or leaves and looked like it was probably swept daily.
Up until now Paddy had simply liked Jemima, now she felt a huge surge of affection for the girl. Here was where all her time and efforts were spent, making sure her horses were properly looked after. As they headed into the tack room, Paddy pulled out a few bridles and sniffed the leather.
‘Been a while?’ asked Jemima. ‘I get like that when I go on holiday. I can’t wait to get home again.’
It had been months since Paddy had last been on a horse and she did indeed miss the saddle. ‘Are you okay to ride though, what with the baby and everything?’
‘God yes, Mummy practically had me on the saddle but I’ll probably stop when I get too large for it to be comfortable. Besides, I bet the baby will love the rocking motion. Come on then, let’s introduce you to the horses.’
Already Paddy had spotted the whickering faces of two horses leaning out over their gate. Jemima introduced Paddy to Max, a tall black stallion. ‘Angus usually rides him, he’s not tricky, just big.’ As she watched Paddy make her way around the horse inspecting his feet and flanks, she was happy that she knew her priorities. She then put on and adjusted his harness and saddle, each step to Jemima’s satisfaction. ‘How long have you been riding?’
‘Since I was eleven at a local city farm. Although they were mostly retired ponies. Wonderful creatures but not as noble as you.’ Paddy nuzzled Max’s ears. ‘Then, when I began to earn a bit of money, I joined a local riding school and started to head out on horses with more than one speed setting.’
The girls chatted as Jemima led the pair of them out to a ring just so she had the measure of Paddy as a rider. She certainly talked the talk, and knew her way around a horse and harness, but Jemima wanted to examine Paddy’s riding abilities before they went out for a hack.
‘Are you okay at jumping? Max tends to launch up like he’s at the Grand National, even for a ditch.’ As he jumped the one-foot fence by a clean four-foot, Paddy landed with an oof and a laugh. ‘Bloody hell. He’s on springs!’
Pleased that Paddy was as good as her word, Jemima opened the gate and they headed off across the fields. For a while they just cantered until they came to a bridleway which led up onto open moorland then they were off again, the horses enjoying the run as much as the girls. They paused when they came to a small stream and the horses stopped for a drink. There was a bird singing prettily overhead and Jemima identified it as a skylark. ‘They have such a happy song, don’t they? Blue skies, skylark and a horse. It’s not a bad life, is it?’
No, thought Paddy, not a bad life at all. Maybe she should find a way to run Kensey herself and live in Cornwall. Between this and her swims with the seals she could be very happy. Maybe she could tolerate more modelling if it meant she came home to this; that way she’d still be contributing financially to the family.
‘No, it’s not. Although I’m still trying to settle in, yesterday was a bit unnerving.’
‘Those protestors? God that was terrible, wasn’t it? Hal said you’d legged it and I don’t blame you at all. Honestly that was one of the reasons I called. I hated the idea that someone new to the area would think that that was typical of Cornish life.’
‘The thing is, and I’m really embarrassed by this,’ Paddy blushed, ‘but I was there under false pretences. I had met one of those protestors a few weeks back and she invited me to what she had said was going to be a discussion on country issues. So I turned up and, well, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.’
‘You poor thing. But that’s awful. I can’t believe they would do that. Well, yes, I can actually but you must have felt dreadful.’
‘I felt terrified actually. They were so loud and violent. And then Hal got so angry at me.’
‘Hal? Angry at you? That doesn’t sound right, he was really concerned you had dashed off. He wanted Mummy to give him your number, but she’s very old school. She wouldn’t do that without your permission.’
‘Good. I mean not good, but well, it’s just I was so embarrassed. Can you ask your mum not to pass my details on?’ Paddy paused, she couldn’t see any good would come of meeting Hal again. They were getting divorced, he was getting married. It was complicated enough. The less she knew of him the better.
‘Okay, let’s put yesterday’s sorry mess behind us; although at least one good thing came out of it.’
Paddy looked over at her enquiringly.
‘I have a new friend!’ Laughing Jem carried on. ‘So, if I’m not being rude, what do you do? And tell me I’m being nosy if you want.’
Paddy had been enjoying listening to Jemima talk and knew she had been rude in not opening up about herself in return. She just felt a bit awkward. Her life had changed so many times over the last year that she didn’t know where to start.
‘I guess you could say I’m on a bit of a career break. Trying to work out what to do next.’
‘What did you do before?’
The girls were riding slowly back down the hill now, chatting and giving their horses a bit of a rest. Paddy patted Max on his flanks, happy he was such an easy-going horse. ‘I’m a model but I think I’ve had enough of that. We had a change of fortunes recently so I can stop now if I want to.’
‘Oh no, are you famous?! Should I know you?’
‘God no,’ Paddy was quick to reassure her new friend, ‘I’m not A-list like Cara Delevingne and Gigi Hadid; I mean I walk with them and will do shoots with them, but they are always the stars on set. I’m just the glamorous prop.’
Jemima snorted. ‘I can’t imagine anyone outshining you. You are embarrassingly beautiful.’
It was Paddy’s turn to snort. ‘I should put that on my CV! But no, my heart isn’t in it the way theirs is and it shows.’
‘So what changed?’
Paddy wondered how she could lessen the impact of her words. To her, her new circumstances were still odd and uncomfortable and she felt uneasy working out how to explain them.
‘I’m being nosy, ignore me.’ Jemima interrupted her thoughts. ‘Come on, let’s clean the horses down and then, do you fancy some soup? I’ve got Stilton and broccoli on the hob?’
As they brushed the horses down and cleaned the tack, Paddy felt stupid that she hadn’t said anything. It probably wasn’t even a big deal to this girl surrounded by her own horses and farmhouse, with a voice like royalty.
‘The thing is, my sister inherited our uncle’s estate and it’s quite a big one, so we’ve all been sort of roped into it, to help out. Plus, it turns out we all have titles.’
Jemima stopped brushing Dolly’s mane and looked at her friend in astonishment. ‘Amazeballs! How did that happen? I mean how did you not know?’
As they finished the horses and headed back to the kitchen, Paddy explained how their mother had been blackballed by the family, to the extent that none of her daughters knew anything about their mother’s titles and family connections.
Jemima was full of compassion when Paddy told her how her parents had died; no wonder she had been reluctant to talk about it. What a rollercoaster that family had been on.
***
‘Here, do you think it needs salt? It’s not too school soupy, is it?’
Paddy sipped the soup carefully and declared it perfect. In fact it was delicious. She hadn’t had high expectations, shuddering in reflection of school soup in all its watery blandness, but this was rich and very moreish. Not a powdered lump in sight.
Jemima tutted. ‘No one can claim to have been to a worse school than me. Our lunches were so disgusting that everyone lost weight in the first term.’
‘Ours were so stodgy that we all put weight on!’
Both girls laughed. ‘Hmm, you might have me there,’ said Jem, ‘but I will brook no argument, our games were the worst. Cross-country for five miles through the mud and cows and then we all had to shower together, buck naked in cold water.’
Paddy was going to say that they had to run past the red-light district near the school, but cold showers definitely had the edge.
‘But boarding school must have been exciting?’
‘Like Hogwarts or Malory Towers? I wish. What it actually was, was lots of homesick first formers, cold showers and freezing dormitories full of farting, sobbing and snoring schoolgirls.’
Well, thought Paddy, that sounded less appealing than she had imagined. As a schoolgirl she had regularly dodged gangs and fights, and dreamt of hockey sticks and adventures. Maybe the grass was never quite so green.
Finally lunch came to an end and Jemima yawned loudly and then stammered an apology. The pregnancy was making her tired at the oddest of moments. Paddy found herself yawning as well and the two of them laughed; at least it was only yawning that was contagious. She couldn’t wait to have children of her own but first she needed a husband. A real one.
As Paddy drove away her face was almost aching from her smile. She had had a wonderful day and finally felt that she had made a proper friend.