37. Chapter 36
Chapter 36
Kaitlyn
I’ve had a couple of those nights in a row where I wake up at three in the morning for no reason. I do believe sometimes it is the angels talking to you, but I have a feeling this was more about my body still feeling like it wanted to be on London time. Today, I woke up reaching out to what would have been his side of the bed. I would have sworn the bed was warm.
After trying to fall back to sleep for a couple of hours, I reached for my laptop that was plugged up on the floor. I found a couple of emails in my Orion account from Tobias and one from Bianca. I don’t know why, but the one from Bianca scares me, so I leave it unread.
I finish all the work Tobias had for me and toss my laptop to the end of the bed. The thump wakes an irritated Marilyn. “I’m sorry, baby. Come here.” I pat the pillow next to me. She yawns with a big stretch then brings her fluffy body over to me. This cat is the world’s second best cuddler. She used to be my number one. Now that spot is vacant.
The warmth of her body actually lulls me back to sleep for a while. Next thing I know, I hear a gentle knock at my bedroom door before it opens with a gentle squeak. “Kait?”
“Hey, Gilly.” My eyes focus toward the doorway.
“Jason couldn’t sleep so he made a huge breakfast. Can I convince you to come eat with us?”
I sigh a little and sit up, pulling my blankets back. “He’s back? I mean, I don’t know. I don’t really feel like eating.”
“Honey. Your behind is shrinking by the day and you didn’t have a lot to begin with.”
“Gee thanks.” I giggle a little.
“See. That’s better. I’ve missed your laugh. Care for some company before you make me happy?”
“Sure. Climb in.” Gilly pads over quickly, cuddling up with me and Marilyn. “I feel bad. You and Jason have your own home and lives. Joey’s out of his routine.”
“I’m fine. Jason is fine. Joseph is fine. Trust me. I need to make sure you’re fine.”
I snuggle on her shoulder. “Fine is a relative term.”
“I don’t want you to hide here forever.”
“I’m not hiding. I’m healing.”
Gillian strokes my hair softly. “Pixie, I think you’re doing a little of both and more of one than the other.” I feel her take a deep breath. “Do you trust me?”
My head pops up slowly. “What does that mean?”
“If I asked you to do a couple of things for me today, besides coming down for breakfast, would you do them with no questions asked?”
“Fuck. I hate it when you do that. You’re pulling the big sister card on me.”
“I am. I promise you it will be worth it. You just need to trust me.”
“Fine,” I exhale. “What fresh hell awaits me?”
“Nice. I want you to get dressed. Get your jeans on and a light sweater before you meet us downstairs.”
“Okay. Why?”
“I said no questions.” She wraps her arms around my shoulder, pulling me even closer. “See you in a few.”
After she leaves, I stare up at my ceiling and take a few deep breaths. I have to start moving forward. Nothing can get better if I don’t take the first step, so I sit up and force myself to stand.
I tug on a pair of jeans, admittedly sad to leave my sweatpants behind and pull a pale purple sweater over my head. I even wash my face, brush my teeth, and put my hair up in a messy bun. Go me!
I can hear Jason and Gillian talking quietly when I come down the stairs and turn the corner into the dining room. The smell of coffee and the bacon brightens my mood a little.
“Please tell me you have two gallons of that stuff ready and the strips are extra crispy,” I ask when I see Jason step in to greet me from the kitchen.
Gillian, like an answered prayer, follows him with a coffeepot in one hand and my favorite mug that says “Let’s Keep the Dumbfuckery to a Minimum Today” on the side. “Maybe not two gallons, but I do have a fresh pot, and yes, we know how you like your bacon.”
“I could kiss you,” I say, taking the mug and letting it warm my very cold hands.
“That’s my job,” Jason replies, kissing her cheek then taking a seat at the head of the table. It’s only then I notice his laptop is set up in front of him. He types for a few seconds then flips it around so I can see the screen.
“What’s this?” I ask.
Gillian answers, “Remember I said to trust me? There’s something you need to see.”
“Is everything all right? Is Dad okay? Where is he?”
“Your father is fine,” Jason says. “He’s upstairs with Joseph. Last I checked, he was rocking him for a nap.”
“Sit,” Gillian says again, pulling a chair out for me. I comply and sink down right in front of the laptop screen.
Frozen in front of me is a frame with Tobias on the left, Griffin’s mother Bianca in the middle, and Griffin on her right. They’re still behind a row of microphones. Griffin is in the suit he wore the first night I saw him at the restaurant. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t.”
“Kaitlyn.” Jason’s voice softly growls my name. “You need to listen to this.”
He presses play before I can protest any further. Their images start to move and Bianca begins speaking.
“Good afternoon, everyone. I have a statement to read on behalf of the board of Orion. We will not be taking questions at this time, however, if there is something you feel I don’t address clearly, please submit your questions to Mr. Carter, and I will answer them as I can.
“Lachlan Shaw has formally stepped down from all duties involving Orion Worldwide Investments. While we do thank him for all of his time, effort, and energy over the years, recent events have come to light that do not align with the values Orion stands for. For the interim, and foreseeable future, I will be serving as the head of Orion, with Tobias Carter leading our development and direct investment teams, while my son Griffin will be leading a new division which will focus on new architectural ventures. Griffin is a talented designer, who’s always had a burning passion for creating. He will now get to let that passion out into the world as he was meant to.
“That all being said, I would like to address the media attention surrounding another member of the Orion team, and someone very close to my heart. Kaitlyn Logan is the newest member of our legal team. She has an educational pedigree a mile long, as well as contract experience that any global entity would be lucky to have.
“Her privacy, along with that of my son, was violated to a severe degree. Things have been said in the British press, along with the American press, that were not only false, but vile, disgusting, and abhorrent. Orion will be litigating to the fullest extent of the law any individual or entity that brings those images or any falsehood and portray it as fact.”
Bianca looks directly into the camera lens as if she was searching for me. “Kaitlyn, I know an apology cannot possibly make up for what you’ve been through. Please know, he will pay for what you’ve gone through. I promise you. Thank you, everyone.”
Jason stops the video. Silent tears are rolling down my cheeks. “This was from a press conference they did less than twenty-four hours ago.”
He slides in next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “What did Bianca mean when she said he will pay? Did they find out who took those photographs?”
“Yes, they did, honey,” Gillian whispers.
“Who? Who did this?” I ask.
Jason takes a soft breath. “The man who took the photographs is in a remote town in Northern Ireland and will remain there until such time I tell him he can leave, his injuries heal, or is needed for trial. I know which one will come first. That man is not the person Bianca is referring to.”
“What? I don’t understand. This is all just…a lot.”
“Kaitlyn, Griffin’s father is the one who hired this man to photograph you.”
I feel like I can hear my heart thumping in my ears. “What?” I stand because I’m not sure what else to do with my body. “How do you know?”
“It wasn’t hard to figure out once we found the photographer,” Jason says, folding his hands on the table. “He sang like the proverbial canary.”
“We?” I ask.
“Griffin was not part of that process,” Gillian says with a hand on my shoulder. “But he does know the truth now, same as you.”
“I don’t understand any of this. Why would he do that to his own son, and to a woman he doesn’t even know?” I begin to pace around the dining room. “And Bianca took over Orion? She said something about a new division… I’m so confused and there’s so much swirling in my head right now.”
Jason caps a hand over my shoulder. The pressure from his touch is grounding. He doesn’t have to say anything. It’s like he has this divine power to drain all the anxiety out of a situation or take it from you.
“There’s nothing for you to do right now. Everything is being handled in one way or another.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Pixie, it means you should finish the coffee in your mug and put an egg and some of that bacon in your belly,” Gillian lightly orders.
A million things are flashing through my brain, but at the core of it all, only one is shining like a beacon in all of the confusion: I want to talk to Griffin. “Fine, but after I do. I need to make a call.”
“After you do,” Jason repeats, “you’re coming with Gillian and I somewhere. It will tie up some loose ends for you. I don’t want you to get further ahead of it than that.”
“You’re so fucking cryptic it pisses me off.” I pull a piece of bacon off the plate in front of me and crunch so hard that tiny pieces fly all over the counter.
“I’ve been called worse. Just for once, since I’ve known you, do what I’m asking you to do.”
“If I salute you, will you be pissed?” I mutter.
“No. That will mean you’ve succumbed to doing what I ask and it’s a sight better than flipping me the bird, which is what I know you want to do.”
I chomp into my next bite and nod. “You’re right about that one.”
He smirks a little, and I try to commit it to memory because that man never smiles.
I did as I was told, even if all I wanted to do was stomp away from the table, call Griffin, and hear his voice. I want to tell him I’m proud of him and of Bianca for whatever they did to put Lachlan in his place. I want to tell him I miss him.
“Have you gotten enough to eat?” my sister asks.
“I had enough six bites ago, but your husband bullied me into eating more.”
“Good. You’ve barely eaten in days.”
“I’ve heard that already today. Are you going to tell me where you’re taking me now?” I rise from my seat and start to gather my plate.
“Leave that. I’ll clean it up later. Just get your phone and your bag, if you want it,” she replies.
There’s no use in arguing with them. I can see I will lose and lose royally. I march upstairs for my purse, cell phone, and sunglasses. I just don’t understand what the urgency is. The farmer’s market is today. Maybe they just want me to walk and get the sun on my body. It’s the only thing I haven’t tried to get warm. I can process for an hour or so before I call Griffin. It’s probably better that way…or so I try to convince myself.
Ever the gentleman, Jason opens the back door of his SUV for me and I climb in. I watch him place a soft kiss on Gillian’s forehead before she whispers something to him. Gilly climbs into the front passenger seat without a word, and Jason follows. The radio isn’t on, which is weird for how much they both like music.
I keep myself busy on the drive scrolling through the photo gallery on my phone. All the pictures of Griffin I haven’t allowed myself to look at are right here in my hand. One of him holding Marilyn. Another in my father’s sweatshirt holding his beer while watching the game. One of him facing the road as he was driving to his mother’s house in the country. My favorite is one I took of him sleeping on his giant bed in his apartment. He never knew.
“Are you all right back there?” Gillian asks me.
“Mmm hmm. Just anxious.” I take a moment and look out the windows at the passing trees. I can’t get a sense of where we are headed. “Are we going far?”
Jason shakes his head and glances at me in the rearview mirror. “We are almost there.”
I stare back down at my phone and open up the text app, staring down at the thread that belongs to Griffin. My fingers itch to text him, and I almost do, but the car rolling to a stop pulls my attention away.
I look around and all I realize is we are at the end of a long pathway that is nearly overgrown in grass and weeds. “Where are we? I thought we were going to the market in town.”
“You assumed wrong, Kaitlyn.” Jason turns from the steering wheel, pulling the sunglasses down from his eyes. “There’s something at the end of this path you need to see. Once you do, we’ll take you home and you can make whatever calls you need to. I think your mind will be clearer after a walk.”
“There’s nothing out there but pasture,” I tell him.
“Things aren’t always what they seem. Go. I promise we’ll be right here,” Gillian encourages.
I exhale audibly and get out of the car. I know I won’t win in this two against one. Once I close the door, a memory hits me. This land used to be owned by Mr. Anderson. The house that had been on the property for over a century fell into such disrepair that they had to tear it down. I remember his granddaughter and great-granddaughter watching the bulldozers take every board to the ground. The city now owns this massive acreage and no one can really decide what to do with it, so it’s literally a playground for horses and any other wildlife nearby.
The wildflowers are so high as I walk, I can have my hands at my sides and the petals tickle the palms of my hands. The leaves in the trees over my head blow softly in the breeze. Every so often, the wind blows just right and beams of light breakthrough and illuminates the path. Once I reach the top of the rise, I expect to see the remnants of the old picket fence still standing tall.
It’s true. I do see the fence, but inside of it are rows and rows of paper lanterns in connected squares. The scope of them is massive. It seems there’s even an outbuilding or two of them. In the center, standing quietly in dark wash jeans and a white linen shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows…is Griffin. He’s holding a bouquet of like three dozen red roses. Even from a distance, I can see his breathing skip when his eyes lock with mine.
My feet won’t move. I’m stunned. I’m happy. I’m confused. I’m also a little angry.
After we stare at each other for a few seconds, Griffin takes the lead by walking toward me. His medium strides with the sun glowing behind him is almost too much to look at. He looks so beautiful.
He rests the arms full of flowers he’s carrying on an aged pile of wood just outside the fence, after which, he pulls a lone perfect rose and continues his walk toward me. “Hi,” he whispers.
His voice is filled with every emotion I seem to be feeling. I can tell he’s trying to gauge my reaction. “Hi.” I accept the rose from his fingers. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you.”
“Most people would have done a video call, not flown across an ocean.”
“I’m not most people, Kaitlyn. I also had something I wanted to show you. I couldn’t do that over the phone.”
“Griffin…”
He gently holds a finger up to my lips. “Let me say what I came to say and if you still want me to bugger off, I will.” Normally anyone shushing me like that would get a very different reaction, but something about his demeanor makes me want to listen. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for so many things, I don’t know where to begin. I should have never let you go. I thought I was saving you from me and all that came with it. What I realized is I should have saved you from everything around us. That’s what behind me will do.”
Griffin takes my hand with his soft, yet firm, grip leading me through the fence posts. “Imagine a sweeping front porch from left to right. It will span the whole thing. It will face every sunset the world gives us. On that end, there will be a swing where we can sit together and talk. On the other end, there will be singular egg-shaped swings for our reading sessions. Here in the middle is the front door. It will be a grand one with two large doors that will open into a foyer. Come.”
He pulls me farther into the paper lantern maze. “On the left will be our offices. We will be together in one space. The rest of it will be an open floor plan in a combination of traditional and modern farmhouse. I want it to feel like the old house that stood here, but with all the modern conveniences. Up the staircase will be the second floor. There will be a master suite just like mine in London on one side and three bedrooms and two bathrooms on the other for guests or…”
He pauses to take a breath. Griffin is so excited he hardly skips any beats. “There will be a mega kitchen facing the back pasture to look over the barn with our Rockets and the pool, hot tub, and sauna. The barn will have everything the horses need and we can get more animals if you want.”
Finally, my insides are about to explode from so much information coming at me all at once. “Griffin, stop. Please. Stop.”
“I don’t know if I can. If I stop, you’ll have time to think. If you have time to think, I’m afraid you’ll tell me no. I don’t know if I will be able to handle that. I want to make up for everything my father put you through. I want to make up for everything I put you through. I can do better. I will do better.”
“I mean it. Stop.”
He closes his mouth and fully turns to face me. “Kaitlyn…”
This time, I shush him with a finger to his lips. “This is overwhelming, Griffin. I mean, in the last week, I’ve been put through an emotional blender. I was the happiest I’ve ever been, then the saddest, then I was confused when I saw the press conference with your mother, and now this?” I shake my head. “I’m scared because all I want to do is jump into your arms like nothing has happened.”
“Why does that scare you?”
“I can’t be hurt like that again. I won’t survive it.” I take a moment and look around at the lanterns. “You want to build a house here?”
“I want us to build a home here.”
I can feel my bottom lip beginning to tremble. “You told me to go. You pushed me away.”
He surprises me by closing the distance between us and takes my face in his hands.
“I fucked up,” he says. “I know that, and I’m not sure how I can make that up to you completely. My father crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed, but he’s out of my life now. Gone. Done. You’re all I want, Kaitlyn. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix any and everything that my world did to hurt you.”
I reach up and wrap my fingers around his wrists, struggling between wanting to grip him so tightly that he never leaves me again and pushing him away. “I’ve missed you so much it hurts.”
“I know, baby. I know,” he whispers. “I felt it. The pain was ours. Everything has and is ours. I’ve never known something like we have. I don’t want to just belong to myself. I want to belong to you. Kaitlyn, do you remember what I said before all the bad things happened?”
“You… you said ‘what if you were my forever? Do you still want that?’”
“Yes. I still want that, but I know we can’t do that right now. I wouldn’t want to. I’d like to earn your trust back. I’d want to earn your family’s trust again. I’d want your father’s blessing. Believe it or not, I have Jason and Gillian’s already.”
“What?”
“Jason paid me a visit in London. When he was wherever he told you he was, he was with me.”
With the shock of being in this field and seeing Griffin in front of me, I didn’t realize the fading bruise on his jaw. “Did he hit you? I’ll fucking kill him.”
“No. Don’t talk like that. He, by right, should have beat me senseless. Even when he was getting me to see things I didn’t want to see or realize, he did it with the kindness of a brother. I’d missed that. I’d take a thousand more punches if they were coming from that place. He loves you. Gillian loves you. Kaitlyn, I love you. Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll walk away.”
I shake my head slowly as the tears finally break to the surface. “I’d be lying. I love you. I love you so much.”
Griffin releases his tender touch from my face to wrap his strong arms around my body, pulling me tight against him. There it is, the warmth I’ve needed. “Kaitlyn, let this house, this land in a place that means so much to you, serve as a promise that will be unbroken. I will do all those things I said I’d do and so much more. Let it be my promise to you that someday it will be the home where I carry you across the threshold in your bridal gown and the place where we will raise our children.”
I rest my head on his chest. “This is like a fairy tale,” I look up at him and his face is hazy behind my tears. “You’re really going to buy it?”
“I really hope you take me back… because I already did.” He smiles, pushing the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.
It’s as simple as that. I throw myself at him, even closer than we were already, and kiss him like he’s oxygen and I’m starved for breath.
This may have started as a favor and a business decision, but it quickly melted away and became something real, beautiful, and powerful.
I’ve never believed there is one person out there for everyone. That’s silly. It’s mathematically impossible because you change as you grow, as you age, and as your life progresses.
Griffin shattered his way through that opinion and planted himself firmly as my one and now that I have him back, I’m never going to let him go.