2. HOLDEN
HOLDEN
Idon’t realize how tired I am until my feet hit solid ground again. It’s not a bad tired. I’m not drained or hollowed out or anything. Just worn out from a day in the sun, and my skin is itchy from the saltwater.
“God, I needed that,” Camila groans, stretching her arms over her head.
“You say that every time,” Hattie teases.
“And I mean it every time. Seriously, Hattie. I’m glad we’re friends, because I need someone who will pull me out to do things.”
Mateo snorts beside her. “Yeah, otherwise you’ll just rot away on the couch reading all those romance novels.”
“Hey, first of all, it’s called editing. I get paid to read those novels. And second, that is not a bad way to die. I think I have like a hundred book boyfriends now.”
A laugh escapes me. Maybe fictional men are easier.
Korie shuffles their feet next to me, clearly just as tired as I am. Their bleached hair is sun-tousled, and the tips of their ears have turned bright red. It makes me chuckle. They always forget sunscreen on their ears—always.
We drag our feet to our vehicles, then load everything into the trunk before walking to the restaurant. It’s far enough away that I’m tempted to ask if we can just drive there, but the group is already moving so I suck it up and join them.
The path is worn smooth from heavy traffic over the years, and large palm trees sway in the breeze. The shade is heaven after a long day in the sun, and I catch myself smiling. Everything about me feels soft, like the edges of the world have blurred just enough to make it easier to breathe.
I know I’ll sleep heavily tonight.
The closer we get to the restaurant, the hungrier I become. I tug Korie’s arm. “Come on.”
The air is cooler inside, tinged with salt, butter, and something fried. Old-fashioned nautical décor covers nearly every inch of the walls, from faded nets to old buoys. A large map of the Pacific Ocean covers the wall behind the hostess booth, revealing old currents and depth measurements.
What keeps my attention the most is the large glass tank on one side of the waiting area, where dozens of live lobsters crawl over one another, beady eyes pleading for help. The thick rubber bands around their claws make me sad—not sad enough to avoid eating them, but still sad.
“Still judging them?” Korie murmurs beside me.
I chuckle softly. “A little. It’s just cruel to display them like this.”
They bump my shoulder playfully. “Nah. Circle of life, my friend.”
The lobster nearest me climbs up, feet scrambling against the smooth surface. I can’t help but reach out to trace the lines of its shell. So sorry, little fella. If you weren’t so delicious, you wouldn’t be here.
We’re led to a table by wide, open windows. The sun is dipping below the horizon, painting everything in gold and amber. Out beyond the glass, the water rolls and crashes against the beach, and the sound seeps up through the floorboards.
Boats idle nearby, some pulling up to the small dock beneath us to pick up their food. I watch as a server leans over the railing to hand off a bag.
“Next time we take the boat out, we should order from here instead of our usual stuff.”
Korie immediately perks up. “Yes! That would be so fun.”
The table is barely big enough for the six of us. I end up next to Korie and across from Camila and Cole. Hattie takes one end seat, with Mateo on the other.
I stifle a yawn as I reach for the menu. The day is definitely catching up to me.
“So, how do you guys all know each other?” Cole asks.
“Camila and I used to work together, and Mateo has been our friend since… what, high school?” Hattie says.
Mateo nods. “Junior year. We met in AP History.”
“And you guys?” Cole asks, looking at Korie and me.
“Our parents are best friends,” I explain.
“So we grew up together. Shared holidays and family trips together. All that—” I cut off abruptly when I see a gorgeous dark-haired man near the serving station.
His broad shoulders and thick arms are mouthwatering, but it’s his smile that truly captures my attention. The way it reaches his eyes.
“Uh-oh. Holden’s spotted a hottie,” Hattie says with a chuckle, looking over her shoulder.
I snap my attention back to the group, cheeks flaming red. They’re all looking at me with mixed expressions of amusement and pity. Right. Uh. What was I saying?
I focus on the menu.
When that hottie ends up being our server, I sit up, heart pounding.
“Hey, guys. My name is Gage. I’ll be your waiter tonight.” The man grins at each of us, his attention lingering on me a second longer than necessary. A rush flows through me when his lips curve into an even bigger smile. “Can I start you off with some drinks?”
As we take turns placing our orders, I notice Cole seems a little uncomfortable now, almost like he’s realized he’s just one of many who have caught my attention.
I feel bad, and embarrassed. I have nothing to be ashamed of, I know that.
But it is pathetic to bounce from person to person. Even I can admit that.
My fingers twist absentmindedly around the leather bracelet on my wrist, nerves getting the best of me. I should be used to this by now. I mean, how many people have I asked out? But I’d be lying if I said all the failed attempts and bad dates haven’t chipped away at my confidence.
I don’t know why I keep trying.
The food comes out a little while later, and I immediately get lost in all the deliciousness of it. I try not to think about the lobsters in the tank as I rip the tails off my jumbo shrimp. They’re rich and tender, demanding I slow down and actually enjoy the meal.
“Well?” Korie asks with an eager grin. “Is it everything you hoped for?”
“And then some.”
They stab a piece of salmon with their fork. “Mine too.”
Rope lights flicker on around us as the light fades, and the waiters make their rounds to turn on battery-operated candles on each table. Korie’s eyes get dreamy as they look around. It’s exactly the kind of environment they love.
Then again, any restaurant is the environment they love.
Mateo is in peak form tonight, telling a story about a client who bailed on a job recently. He’s doing a full reenactment, complete with voices and exaggerated gestures. By the time he’s done, I’m laughing so hard my side hurts.
Then again, that might be the beer. I’m on my fourth one.
“No—no, you don’t understand,” he insists. “He actually said that.”
“There’s no way,” Hattie says, breathless.
“I swear on my life.”
We erupt into laughter again, drawing the attention from nearby tables.
Hattie turns her attention to Korie. “How about you, Kor? I’m sure you have some interesting stories from work.”
They wipe their mouth, sitting up. “Oh, I definitely do.”
“What do you do?” Cole asks, finishing off his seafood Alfredo.
“I’m a radiology tech. You wouldn’t believe the things we see inside bodies.”
Cole grimaces, like he regrets ever asking.
I wrap an arm around the back of Korie’s chair. “What is your ass total up to now?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Ass total?” Mateo asks.
Korie snickers, reaching for their glass of water. “My friend and I have a running total of how many objects we find inside someone’s ass.”
Mateo’s eyes widen, and he opens his mouth as if he’s going to ask, then changes his mind.
“Like I said, you don’t want to know,” they say.
The waiter swings by with a fresh basket of cheddar biscuits, and I immediately snag one.
Toward the end of the meal, a tall drink with a paper umbrella appears at the table. We all look around, confused.
“I think you got the wrong table,” I say.
Gage touches my shoulder and winks. “No, I definitely don’t. It’s from me, beautiful. Enjoy.”
And then he’s gone again, moving on like he didn’t just make a move in front of everyone.
There’s a beat of silence, and then everyone sputters a laugh. Well, everyone but me. I’m staring after Gage in a daze.
“Oh my god,” Hattie shrieks. “That was so cute.”
“No kidding,” Camila adds. “That’s the shit I read about but never see!”
Even Cole seems amused, eyes crinkling in the corners.
My ears and neck burn as if I might melt away. I’m so used to being the one making a move that it’s strange to be on the receiving end of it.
I run a hand through my hair, laughing nervously. “What do I do now? I don’t know what to do.”
Korie nudges my arm. “Oh, come on, Romeo. You’ve had plenty of practice with this. Go on.”
I glance at them. “Go on?”
“Yeah. Go ask him out.”
My eyes flick toward Gage, who is cleaning off a nearby table. He really is handsome, but after all the nos I’ve had recently, it feels impossible to ask again—even knowing Gage is into me.
Korie chuckles. “You know exactly what to say. Trust me. Just go. Ask him on a date.”
Their soft hazel eyes are reassuring.
I straighten in my seat and suck in a breath. “You’re right. I can do this.”
Pushing my chair back, I chase after Gage, ignoring the quiet cheers and whoops of encouragement from my friends.
Gage’s face lights up when I approach, and he turns his full attention to me. Now that I’m standing, I realize he’s about three inches taller than I am.
“Hey, um…” I trail off, throat thick.
Gage leans in. “Yes?”
“Would you like to go to dinner soon?” The words come out a little rushed, but at least I sound confident. I hope, anyway.
Gage smiles immediately, reaching for a napkin on the table. He writes something on it before handing it to me.
“I’m free Friday if you are?”
I grin. “Friday works.”
“Great. Call me, and we’ll sort out the details later.” Gage winks and walks away.
My heart beats a mile a minute as I walk back to the table, the napkin clutched in my hand.
Hattie claps as I sit down. I try to play it cool, but now that it’s over, I’m kind of riding a high.
Korie waits patiently, eyes wide. “Well?”
“We’re going out Friday.”
The table explodes, and Hattie high-fives me so hard she shakes her hand afterward.
Korie bumps my leg under the table. “See? Told you you could do it.”
I pocket Gage’s phone number and reach for my beer. “Never doubted it.”
Korie snorts. “Uh-huh.”
The rest of dinner passes in a blur of laughter and teasing.
Gage and I lock eyes a few times from across the room, and each time, my stomach swoops a little.
Will this ever get any easier? I wish I could bypass all the getting-to-know-you crap and move on to other things.
It’s exhausting to go through this over and over.
When we leave, I hand over the keys to Korie. They don’t even question it.
Hattie hugs both of us, promising to see us the following week at dinner. Mateo and Camila leave with her.
Korie drops Cole off at his apartment first, then hops on the freeway to head back to theirs. The quiet in the car is strange after such a long and busy day. Not uncomfortable. Just… noticeable. It makes me a little drowsy.
Korie pulls into the guest spot near their building, but before reaching for the door, they turn to me. “Today was fun.”
I blink slowly, my limbs heavy. “Yeah, it was.”
“You good to drive home yet?”
“I probably shouldn’t.”
Korie jerks their chin toward the door. “Come on, then. You know you can sleep here.”
We sleep at each other’s apartments so often that Hattie teases we should just move in together.
I climb out and follow Korie, leaning against the wall as they unlock the door. The moment it swings inward, an excited chirp greets us.
Korie sets their keys on a table by the door and turns toward the large wire cage in the corner. “Hey, beautiful.”
Aris flutters her bright green wings, hopping from perch to perch as if she’s been waiting all day for Korie.
“Yeah, yeah, I missed you too,” Korie coos.
As soon as they open the cage, the sun conure darts out, a streak of green and gold whizzing through the room. It makes me sway on my feet to watch her, and I grip the table to keep from falling.
When she finally lands on Korie’s shoulder, Korie tilts their head for a feathered head bump. Instead, she nips their ear.
“Ow—hey!” Korie chides.
She chirps again.
“Okay, okay. Seesh.”
Korie pulls a few treats from a container, which Aris gobbles down instantly.
“Demanding tonight, huh?”
Korie lifts their gaze. “Oh, she’s always like this now.”
“That’s ‘cause you spoil her.”
“I do not.”
They so do. There must be a dozen perches and even more toys lying around. It wouldn’t surprise me if Korie hauled a potted tree in here for the bird.
Aris chitters again, softer this time.
I know better than to give her a treat. She’d just nip my fingers.
“I’m going to shower, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course.” They tip their head toward the hall. “I’ll go after you.”
After grabbing some spare clothes from the bottom drawer of Korie’s dresser, I jump in the shower to rinse off. The cool water is bliss against my heated skin.
When I step out, Korie is sitting on the edge of the bed with their eyes closed, holding their pajamas and waiting for their turn. I nudge them gently. “Go, before you actually do fall asleep.”
Korie sighs dramatically and disappears.
I climb into the bed, fluffing the pillow under me. The sheets are refreshingly cool. Closing my eyes, I listen for Korie to come out of the bathroom, but everything fades before I ever notice them joining me in bed.