Chapter 21
Ihad no idea why I was doing this. Maybe it was the voyeuristic thrill that still lingered from watching Ryder and Cole earlier, and Ryder took Cole in his mouth both dominating and submitting to him in one move.
Maybe it was the fucked-up cocktail of emotions swirling through my head.
Or maybe, in some twisted way, it was because Ryder hadn't actually raped me in my sleep, which shouldn't have felt like a comfort, but somehow did.
But I knew the real reason, the practical one: if I could get access to the recordings Ryder had, I might be able to identify my attacker, or discover something about my mother, or find some other leverage to free myself from this gilded cage.
So I closed my eyes, telling myself this was just another transaction. My body for information. I'd survived worse. I could survive this.
"Keep your eyes closed, Poison," Ryder murmured from somewhere in the room. “And I’ll show you everything.” A promise that sent a shiver running through me.
I heard the soft click of the door closing, then footsteps approaching the bed.
The lamp switched on, I could see the glow through my eyelids, causing me to screw my eyes shut tighter.
The covers were pulled down in one smooth motion, and the mattress dipped as Ryder's weight settled beside me.
"If you open your eyes before I tell you to," he said, his voice a silky threat, "I walk out, and you get nothing.
No recordings, no answers. Understand?" I nodded, my heart hammering against my ribs.
His hand came to rest on my breast, palm warm through the thin fabric of my sleep shirt.
He squeezed gently, then harder, drawing an involuntary gasp from me.
"So beautiful," he whispered, almost to himself.
"I've been dreaming of touching you like this while you're awake, while you can feel everything I'm doing to you.
" His words sent an unwelcome shiver down my spine.
I hated how my body responded to him, how it betrayed me at every turn.
But I needed those recordings. I needed to know what had happened while I slept.
I needed to understand what I was up against. So I kept my eyes closed as Ryder's hands began to explore.
His touch was almost reverent as he pushed my shirt up, exposing my breasts to the cool air of the room.
I resisted the urge to cover myself, to push him away.
This was my choice, I reminded myself. A fucked-up choice between terrible options, but still mine.
So I let him pull my top over my head, leaving me bare for him.
"Perfect," he breathed, his thumbs circling my nipples until they hardened against my will.
"I've spent so many nights worshipping these while you slept, but this, having you awake, hearing you respond, this is so much better.
" I bit my lip to keep from making a sound as he lowered his head, his breath hot against my skin, before his mouth closed around one nipple.
The wet heat of his tongue sent a jolt of electricity straight to my core, and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped me.
It had been four weeks and after so much teasing, any touch was enough to have me climbing the walls.
"That's it," he encouraged, his voice husky with desire. "Let me hear you, Poison. I want to know exactly how good I make you feel."
He alternated between my breasts, sucking and licking and occasionally grazing his teeth against the sensitive peaks in a way that made me arch involuntarily into his touch. My hands fisted in the sheets, partly to ground myself, partly to keep from reaching for him.
"You have no idea how many times I've done this," he murmured against my skin. "How many nights I've spent memorising every inch of your body. But having you respond..." He groaned, the sound vibrating against my flesh. "Nothing compares to this."
His mouth began a slow, torturous journey down my body, leaving a trail of kisses across my ribs, my stomach, the jut of my hipbones.
Each touch was deliberate, unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world to explore me.
I squirmed beneath him, my body growing tense with anticipation, with a need I didn't want to acknowledge.
"Patience," he admonished, his breath hot against my navel.
"I've waited weeks for this. You can wait a few more minutes.
" His hands slid under the waistband of my sleep shorts, and I lifted my hips without thinking, allowing him to pull them down along with my panties.
The cool air hit my exposed skin, and I felt suddenly, achingly vulnerable.
Naked, eyes closed, at the mercy of a man who had been violating my privacy for weeks.
Yet my body betrayed me, growing wetter with each passing moment.
"Spread your legs for me, Poison," Ryder commanded, his voice thick with desire. I hesitated, a last flicker of resistance, before slowly parting my thighs. I felt his gaze on me like a physical touch, burning, assessing.
"So fucking perfect," he groaned. "Your pussy is even more beautiful up close. And already so wet for me."
I felt the mattress shift as he positioned himself between my legs. His hands pushed my thighs wider, exposing me completely. I held my breath, waiting for his touch, for his mouth, but it didn't come. Instead, I felt his breath, warm and tantalising, ghosting over my most sensitive flesh.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to taste you properly again," he said, his voice a low rumble that I could almost feel against my skin.
"I still remember the first time I tasted you weeks ago.
When I was so restricted. But now I get to devour you.
" The first touch of his tongue was so light I almost thought I'd imagined it, just the barest flick against my outer lips, nowhere near where I needed it most. I bit back a whimper of frustration as he continued to tease, tracing patterns that deliberately avoided my clit.
"Ryder," I gasped, unable to stop myself. "Please."
"Please what?" he asked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.
"Tell me what you want, Poison. I want to hear you say it.
" My face burned with humiliation, but the ache between my legs was becoming unbearable.
Three weeks of sexual frustration had left me raw, desperate.
And Ryder knew exactly how to exploit that weakness.
"I want..." I swallowed hard, the words sticking in my throat. "I want your mouth on me."
"Where exactly?" he pressed, his breath hot against my inner thigh. "Be specific, Poison. I want to hear those filthy words from your perfect mouth." I gritted my teeth, hating him for making me beg, hating myself more for wanting to.
"I want you to eat my pussy," I finally whispered, the words barely audible.
"What was that?" he asked, his tone mocking. "I couldn't quite hear you."
"I want you to eat my pussy!" I repeated, louder this time, my voice cracking with desperation.
“Good fucking girl,” he murmured with an infuriating chuckle. I was giving him everything he wanted, and I hated myself for it.
Instead of giving me what I'd begged for, Ryder sat back on his heels. I heard the sound of movement, then felt his finger circling my entrance, gathering my wetness.
"So fucking wet," he murmured. "All for me.
" Slowly, deliberately, he pushed a single finger inside me.
The intrusion drew a cry from my lips, my back arching off the bed at the sudden pleasure.
It had been so long since anyone had touched me like this, since I'd even touched myself, under their constant surveillance.
"Look at you," Ryder said, his voice full of wonder.
"So responsive. So perfect. I love watching your face as I push inside you.
" He withdrew his finger almost completely before sliding it back in, curling it slightly to hit that spot inside me that made my toes curl.
He repeated the motion, again and again, each thrust sending sparks of pleasure shooting through my body.
"Please," I gasped, not even sure what I was begging for anymore. "Ryder, please."
"Since you asked so nicely," he relented with a chuckle, and finally, I felt his mouth on me, his tongue flat against my clit as he sucked it between his lips.
The sensation was overwhelming after so long without relief.
I cried out, my hips bucking against his face, seeking more pressure, more friction.
Ryder's hand pushed on my thigh, holding me open and in place as he alternated between licking broad strokes up my centre and focusing his attention on my clit.
All the while, his fingers continued their relentless pace inside me, curling and stretching, finding that perfect spot that made stars explode behind my closed eyelids.
I was climbing higher and higher, the tension building to an almost painful peak.
Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, Ryder curled his fingers sharply upward and sucked hard on my clit.
The orgasm hit me like a tsunami, tearing through my body with such force that I screamed his name, my back arching off the bed, my hands clawing at the sheets.
Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me, each one more intense than the last. Ryder didn't let up, his tongue and fingers working in perfect harmony to prolong my release until I was shaking, sobbing, begging him to stop.
"That's it," he murmured against my thigh, his voice thick with satisfaction.
"Let it all out, Poison. Three weeks is a long time to go without coming.
" My body continued to spasm around his fingers as the aftershocks of my orgasm rippled through me.
I lay there, panting, my mind blank with pleasure, my body limp and pliant.
Just when I thought I might be able to catch my breath, Ryder withdrew his fingers and brought them to my lips.