Chapter 30
The first thing I felt was a gentle touch on the tip of my nose.
Soft, repetitive, like the brush of a feather.
I fought against waking, clinging to the oblivion of sleep where my mother's cruel words couldn't reach me.
But the touch persisted, and slowly I opened my eyes.
Ryder sat on the edge of the bed, his finger hovering over my face.
When our eyes met, his usual cocky grin was absent, replaced by something softer, more vulnerable.
"Hey, Poison," he whispered, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. "How you feeling?"
The events of the previous night crashed over me like a tidal wave: my mother's cold eyes, her vicious words, the revelation that she had tried to abort me, that she had brought me to that horrible place beneath The Palace.
Cole's confession about his own trauma. The weight of it all pressed down on my chest until I couldn't breathe.
"I-" My voice cracked, and to my horror, tears spilt down my cheeks and I let out a strangled sob. I hated crying in front of them, hated showing weakness, and I had already cried far too much, but I couldn't stop.
"Shh baby, it's okay," Ryder murmured, gathering me into his arms, wrapping them around pulling me close.
He stroked my hair as I sobbed against his chest. "I'm so fucking sorry, Cade.
I'm so sorry." The raw sincerity in his voice only made me cry harder.
This wasn't the playful, teasing Ryder I knew.
This was someone else entirely, someone who seemed genuinely pained by my suffering.
"It's not your fault," I managed between sobs.
"We should have protected you better," he said, his arms tightening around me. “We knew she might be there, and we still let you come. I shouldn’t have left you alone at all.” I pulled back slightly and looked up at him.
I could see the genuine anguish on his face, like he could feel the hole in my heart.
I reached up and caressed his cheek, trying to smile.
“It wasn’t you,” I said. “I’m sure I would have found her, eventually. At least now I know.” I wanted to be strong, to act like I didn’t care, but deep down I felt like that little lost child who was waiting for mummy to come home.
Ryder leant down to brush his lips against mine, and for a second I let the gentle feel numb my pain. That was when I realised I could hear voices in the other room.
“We aren’t alone?” I asked, not that it should have been a surprise.
Ryder shrugged, but let me go enough so I could climb out of bed.
I realised I was still just in Cole’s t-shirt, but it hung so low on me that it covered more than some of the clothes the guys made me wear.
I padded around the bed and took Ryder’s outstretched hand as we walked into the living area of the hotel suite.
Logan was standing by the window, his back rigid, shoulders tense as he spoke quietly into his phone. And Luce was sitting in an armchair, her eyes red-rimmed, face drawn with exhaustion and worry. When she saw me looking, she rushed over, practically shoving Ryder aside to wrap me in a fierce hug.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Cade," she whispered, her voice thick with tears.
"I hate her, I hate her. I never would have encouraged you to look for her if I'd known what kind of person she was.
" I hugged her back, drawing comfort from her familiar presence.
Luce had been my rock since last year, the one constant in my increasingly chaotic life.
"There was no way you could have known," I said. "And I needed to know."
"But not like that," Luce insisted, pulling back to look at me. "No one deserves to hear those things. Especially not from their own mother."
"Right well, keep me updated please," Logan said into the phone before ending the call.
He turned to face us. His hazel eyes were darker than usual, stormy with barely contained rage.
He glanced at me, but then quickly glanced away, like he was avoiding me.
For some reason it hurt slightly, but I brushed it off.
Maybe he was stressed. We were all stressed.
"Well," he said, his voice clipped, "it seems Alyssa has managed to piss off quite a few of the wrong people." I stiffened.
"What do you mean?" I couldn’t help but ask. Logan moved closer, his expression softening slightly as he looked at me.
"Apparently, several guests reported her behaviour last night. The High Lords are displeased with how she treated the Covenant Consort."
"The High Lords?" I echoed, confused. After everything Cole had told me about the Trivium's inner circle, I couldn't imagine why they would care about me or how my mother had treated me.
"Killingham, Harrison, and Blake," Logan clarified. "They've declared her actions inappropriate and harmful to the Trivium's image. She'll face consequences."
"I don't understand," I said, shaking my head. "Why would they care? Isn’t she one of them? I'm just a nobody." Logan glanced over at Ryder, his expression unreadable, before his mouth twisted into something between a smirk and a grimace.
"You're not 'just' anything anymore, Princess. You're the Covenant Consort. That position carries weight, even among the elite. More than a former Courts girl, no matter how well-connected her husband is."
“Yeah, plus, he’s not even Inner Circle,” Ryder said. “I can imagine that he will be getting some serious heat right now as well.”
"So what, they're defending me because of my... title?" The idea was absurd.
"They're defending what you represent," Logan corrected. "The Covenant House, the Regents, the system itself. Your mother publicly disrespecting you reflects poorly on all of it."
I laughed, the sound hollow and bitter.
“So it's not about me at all. It's about their precious reputation. These people are okay to go around hurting people, hurting children, and yet saying mean words in public has more impact.” My voice was rising slightly towards the end, and Ryder reached out and pulled me into his arms.
"Welcome to the Trivium," Logan said dryly. "Where appearances matter more than people." Luce squeezed my hand.
"At least she won't get away with it. That's something, right?
" I nodded, though I wasn't sure how I felt about it.
Part of me wanted Alyssa, I couldn't think of her as my mother anymore, to suffer for what she'd done, not just to me but to Cole and countless others.
But another part just wanted to forget she existed, to erase the memory of her cold eyes and cruel smile from my mind forever.
It was then that I realised someone was missing. I looked around the room quickly.
"Where's Cole?" Ryder and Logan exchanged a look I couldn't quite interpret. Then Ryder's face broke into a grin, the first genuine one I'd seen since waking.
"And on that note, it's time to go home," he said, ignoring my question.
He stood, offering me his hand. "Come on, Poison.
Let's get you back to Covenant House." I hesitated, looking around for my dress from the night before, but it was nowhere to be seen. I wasn’t even meant to be sleeping in this suite; I was sharing with Luce and her father.
But I noticed a set of comfortable clothes, jeans and a soft sweater, had been laid out on a chair.
"Your dress was ruined," Luce explained, following my gaze.
"I grabbed these from your suitcase before I packed it up this morning." I smiled a thanks at Luce and gathered the clothes and slipped into the bathroom to change. I tried to run my fingers through my hair, but there was no taming the purple tangle, although it was starting to look more brown as my roots were seriously in need of a touch-up. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. My eyes looked wide and glassy, the blue looked almost washed out and were red rimmed from all the crying I had done, and my skin was deathly pale. I didn’t have any makeup to cover the dark circles or anything, but we were only going home, so I wasn’t worried about it.
When I emerged, Logan was putting on his suit jacket, his expression unreadable. He and Ryder were whispering between themselves and Ryder had a conflicted look on his face.
“Once I’ve dropped her off, I’ll come and meet you,” Ryder said and then turned to face me.
“Ready Poison,” he said with a bright smile. I narrowed my eyes on Logan.
"You're not coming with us?" I asked. I looked again between him and Ryder, but both of them had completely blank faces that I couldn't get a read on.
"I have some business to take care of," Logan said vaguely. "I'll see you back at the house tomorrow." Something in his tone made me uneasy.
"Logan, what are you going to do?" His eyes met mine, cold and determined.
"Nothing you need to worry about, Princess."
"Logan-" I started, but he cut me off by stepping closer and pressing a kiss to my forehead, so brief I barely had time to register it.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, his voice softer. Then he was gone, the hotel room door closing behind him with a quiet click.
I turned to Ryder, who shrugged innocently. "Ready to go?"
"What is he planning?" I demanded.
"I have no idea," Ryder said, too quickly. At my sceptical look, he added, "Honestly, Cade, Logan doesn't tell me shit. Now, can we go? I want to get you home."
“Why don’t I believe you?” I asked, and he shrugged again, giving me a lopsided grin.
“I dunno Poison, maybe you are just too smart for me.” I rolled my eyes and looked to Luce for support, but she just gave me a small smile.
"I should go too. Dad's waiting for me in the lobby. Call me later, okay?" After another tight hug, she left, leaving me alone with Ryder. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't get any more information out of him.
"Fine. Let's go."
The drive back to university was unusually quiet. Ryder focused on the road, occasionally glancing at me as if checking I was still in one piece. I stared out the window, watching the scenery blur past, trying to make sense of the emotional whirlwind of the past twenty-four hours.
"You're thinking too hard," Ryder said eventually, breaking the silence. "I can practically hear the gears grinding in your head."
"How can I not?" I asked. "My mother tried to abort me, then tried to sell me to a sex trafficker, and now she's being punished by the very organisation that allows that trafficker to operate. It's a lot to process." Ryder's hands tightened on the steering wheel.
"I know. And I'm sorry you had to find out like that. But you're safe now. We won't let anything happen to you."
"I don't need you to protect me," I said automatically, though the words felt hollow even to my own ears. Ryder snorted.
"Right. Because you've been doing such a great job of it yourself." I wanted to argue, to insist I could take care of myself, but the truth was, I couldn't. Not against the forces arrayed against me in this twisted world of privilege and power.
So instead, I changed the subject.
"Where's Cole?" I asked again. "You never answered me earlier." A small smile played at the corners of Ryder's mouth.
"You'll see."
"Ryder," I said warningly. “Please, I don’t think I can take any more drama right now.”
"Just trust me for once, okay?" he said, his tone serious despite the smile. "No games, no tricks. Just... trust me." Something in his expression made me relent.
"Okay."
We drove the rest of the way in silence, but it was a more comfortable one.
As we approached Covenant House, I felt a mix of relief and trepidation.
Despite everything that had happened there, it had become a sanctuary of sorts, a place where, at least, I knew the rules and the players.
Ryder pulled up to the front entrance but didn't turn off the engine. I looked at him questioningly.
"You're going in alone," he said.
"What? Why?"
"Just go, Cade," he said, his tone brooking no argument. "And for once in your life, don't fight it." I stared at him, trying to read his expression, but he just gestured toward the house.
"Go." With a sigh of frustration, I got out of the car and made my way to the front door. I glanced back once to see Ryder watching me intently, making a shooing motion with his hand. Rolling my eyes, I turned back to the door and pushed it open.
The entrance hall was dimly lit, the grand chandelier dimmed to a soft glow.
But what caught my breath was the trail of candles lining the sweeping staircase, casting a warm, flickering light that danced across the marble floors.
The flames created an intimate pathway, leading upward to the second floor.
At the foot of the stairs stood two of the housemen in formal suits, their expressions solemn and ceremonial.
And between them, looking more nervous than I'd ever seen him, was Cole.
He wore dark jeans and a simple navy button-down, his hair slightly damp as if he'd just showered. His eyes were wide and uncertain as they met mine. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hands clasped in front of him.
"Cole?" I breathed, taking a step toward him. "What is this?"
"Hi," he said, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat. "I, uh, wanted to do something for you. After last night."
My heart stuttered in my chest. "You didn't have to."
"I wanted to," he interrupted gently. "You deserve something good after... everything." He then stepped forward towards me and held out his hand.
“Miss Cadence Turner, could I ask for your permission to spend tonight with you?”