Chapter 23
23
Janie
"WELL IF IT isn't the latest victim of the Moss Creek rumor mill." Dianna grinned at her as she walked in the back door of The Baking Rack. "You are a hot topic around town today, ma'am."
It wasn't an unexpected development. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone said something and her private life suddenly became everyone else's business. "Well that's just fucking great."
The Thanksgiving dinner she'd had at Devon's house the day before had gone well, all things considered. She managed to get away without having to eat any of his mother's sweet potato casserole—which apparently was basically a bland concoction of mashed up sweet potatoes topped with marshmallow fluff that was then baked, turning the fluff into a rock-hard layer of tooth-breaking taffy.
She'd gotten to spend time with his girls. Gwen told her all about the project she had planned for the science fair. Olivia asked for a few pointer s on perfecting her back handsprings. She commiserated with Riley over the difficulties of college math courses.
She even got to hear a little more about Sharon's shenanigans. It made her regret not knowing her landlady was off the chain sooner. They probably could've had a lot of fun together. Not now, though. Now things were weird. Because she was dating Sharon's dead daughter’s husband. And that changed everything.
"So, is it true?" Dianna spaced the words out, pronouncing each one carefully. "Are you dating Devon Peters?"
Janie tied on one of the aprons lined down the wall, trying to decide how to explain the situation to her friend. "I don't know that I would say dating ."
The word didn't sit right. Not because it felt too serious, but because it didn't feel serious enough. And that was fucking terrifying. Since coming to Moss Creek, she'd been avoiding having any sort of connection with a man, and without even realizing it, she'd accidentally skipped right over a lot of the relationship steps and...
Fucking fallen in love.
And not just with Devon.
That was one of her more difficult revelations at Thanksgiving. Even harder than accepting her presence would always be a stark reminder of someone else's loss.
"We've been spending time together and getting to know each other." Again, the description felt wrong, but it was as much as she was willing to admit. The only confession she was currently prepared to make.
It w as enough for her friend, whose mouth dropped open as her eyes widened. "Holy shit." She continued to stare at Janie, mouth agape. "I told everyone there was no way it was true because you hated his guts."
"I didn't hate him." The denial jumped right out, unbidden and unstoppable.
Had she hated him? At one point the thought of Officer Devon Peters made her blood boil, so maybe. It was difficult to imagine now though. Hating Devon seemed ridiculous. He was the kindest, most generous man she'd ever met. He was a good dad. Responsible and hard-working and really fucking good in bed and...
And she loved him.
Fucking hell.
The bell on the door rang and she jumped at the opportunity to get a little space from the conversation. “I got it.” She hurried out of the back room, feet moving so fast her sneakers squeaked against the tile floor as she came to a sudden stop at the sight of the man standing at the counter.
He gave her a slow smile that made her want to pick up the closest heavy object and smack him upside the head with it. “Hello, Janie.”
“What in the hell are you doing here?” The question hissed through her lips, low and hinting at the violence she was just considering.
Aiden held both hands out at his sides. “No hello?” He clicked his tongue. “That’s not a very nice way to greet someone you used to—”
“If you finish that sentence I swear to God… ”
Like the manipulative ass he was, Aiden lifted his brows in feigned surprise. “No need to get upset, Janie. I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing.”
She scoffed. “No you didn’t. You came here to piss me off.” She pointed at the door. “Mission accomplished. Now go home.”
“Why would me coming here piss you off?” He made no move to leave. “You managed to pay off that balance you owed Tukwila, so I figured you must be doing great out here in…” He paused, looking through the front windows at the street outside. “Podunk, Montana.”
“You breathing pisses me off, Aiden.” She moved closer, glaring at a man she actually did hate. “And there’s no way you’re here because you thought I was doing great.”
Aiden’s smile slipped. “That’s because there is no way you’re doing great.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m not sure who you conned into giving you that money, but I’m sure they’ll be interested to know a little about your financial situation and how unlikely it is that you’ll be paying them back anytime soon.”
She laughed. At him. At herself. How had this fucker managed to convince her to date him for almost half a year? “Then I guess it’s a good thing I already paid them back.” It wasn’t Aiden’s business who gave her the money or where the debt stood, but she wanted him to leave. Wanted him the hell out of Moss Creek.
“I don’t believe that for a second.” Aiden’s eyes traveled around The Baking Rack. “Not when you’re still working basic jobs, driving your basic car, and living in someone else’s rented trailer.” He leaned closer, gaze icy. “You are still exactly what you’ll always be, Janie. A fucking failure who never finishes anything. You’ve got no career. No family. No money. No friends.”
Janie lifted her chin, keeping her expression as neutral as she could manage. “Get out before I call the cops and have you trespassed.”
Aiden’s slow smile came back. “Still the same bitch you’ve always been, aren’t you?” He straightened away from the counter, rocking his jaw from side to side as he backed toward the door. “I’m glad I came. Glad to see I was right about you. Getting rid of you was the best thing I ever did.”
The bell on the door rang, drawing her attention to the entrance and sending her stomach into her shoes.
Aiden had a similar reaction, sidestepping the uniformed man taking up the bulk of the doorway as he darted out onto the sidewalk, likely worried she’d make good on her threat and endanger his precious position of power.
Devon watched Aiden go, one brow angled as the smaller man glanced back over his shoulder, stepping faster and faster until he was out of sight.
Devon turned his questioning brow to her. “Who in the hell was that?”
She opened her mouth, but the truth wouldn’t come out. “Some guy who didn’t know he needed to be here about four hours ago if he wanted anything good.” She forced on a smile and attempted to change the subject. “How are you?”
Devo n gave Aiden one more glance, twisting her stomach with fear. What if Devon figured out who he really was and tried to talk to him? Would he listen to all the bullshit Aiden spewed?
Was it really bullshit?
She did have friends, but other than that, he was right. She had no career. No family. No money.
Devon finally turned to face her. “I’m good.” He came to lean against the same counter Aiden just tainted. “Glad I can come in for a cinnamon roll whenever I want.” He gave her a wink. “It pays to have connections.”
She kept smiling, the expression starting to ache on her face. “It does.” She went to the case holding special orders and the peach cinnamon roll she reserved for Devon knowing they were his favorite. “Want me to warm it up?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’m going to save it for dessert tonight.” He followed her down the counter as she went to pack it up. “You can share it with me.” He leaned closer. “That’s my way of asking if you want to come over for dinner tonight.”
She closed the roll into one of the small-sized bakery boxes that got very little use since most people ordered more than a few things at a time. “What’s for dinner?”
“The girls have requested quiche again.” He grinned as she passed over the roll. “It was a big hit.”
A little of the tightness in her chest eased. “I’m glad.” She scrambled to think of something else that might be an easy meal for Devon to put together after work. “Do the girls like enchiladas? I can teach you an easy way to layer all the stuff into a casserole and bake it.”
“They love enchiladas.” He gripped the box in one hand, resting the other on the case between them. “Maybe you can come over later this week and show me how.”
Her shoulders ratcheted down from where they were nearly anchored to her ears. “Perfect.”
She wasn’t a failure. She might not have skills everyone would find useful, but they were perfect for Devon and his girls. She could show him great things to cook. Olivia’s back flips were getting better and better with her pointers and Gwen had the cutest hairstyles around while she curled up with a book in her clean room.
Devon gave the case a pat. “Then I’ll see you tonight.”
She was still smiling when he walked out of sight. His visit might not have completely negated the fallout from Aiden’s, but it sure took the edge off. Hanging out with him and the girls tonight would smooth it the rest of the way over. By tomorrow her ex’s appearance would barely be a blip on the screen of her future.
"THERE YOU ARE." Devon reached through the open door, snagging her hand and pulling her inside. “I was starting to wonder.”
She laughed, rolling her eyes even though she loved it. "I am here exactly when you told me to be here." Looping her arms around his neck, she tipped her head back to look up at him. "Actually I’m five minutes early.”
Devon tucked his chin, meeting her gaze. "Maybe I thought you'd put that house key I gave you to good use and would be here waiting for me when I got home."
A day ago, she might have blown off the suggestion, but in the hours since Aiden had shown up, she'd had time to really think about everything he said and came to a conclusion.
Fuck him.
Fuck all his stupid assumptions and what he thought he knew. Fuck him saying she would never have a career or money or family.
That's what she was trying to conclude. The accuracy of his words still rang a little too true for her liking, but she would feel better after tonight. Better because all the things she'd done in her life were useful to the people around her.
People who might someday be the family he said she’d never have.
Devon's brows pinched together as he looked down at her. "Are you okay?"
Janie nodded, forcing a smile. "I'm fine." She took a deep breath, finally registering the scent of baking pastry and egg. "Smells like quiche in here."
"That’s good news, because I’m pretty sure I made quiche." Devon pulled her deeper into the house, tipping his head toward the living room. "Why don't you sit down. I'm gonna run upstairs and jum p in the shower. I'll be right back."
"Okay." She wandered into the empty living room, feeling a little strange since she'd never been there by herself before. Not like this. Any alone time she'd had in Devon's house was while she was attacking it with cleaning products and scrub brushes, not making herself at home.
Lowering onto one of the couch cushions, she tried to relax, but struggled to get comfortable.
Maybe she should go see if there was anything that needed to be done. Surely he and the girls hadn't been able to completely keep up with all the cleaning she'd done. Then that would be one more thing she offered them. One more reason Aiden was wrong.
Going into the kitchen, she discovered some granola bars and a few other snacks hadn't made it into the cabinets, so she went to work organizing everything, condensing and breaking down extra boxes. She was scrubbing the kitchen sink when the door to the garage opened and Riley came in, a wide smile on her face. It wasn't usually how she looked on Mondays. Normally, by the time she got home from school on Monday, she was exhausted from spending the whole day on campus.
Janie set down her scrub brush and started to rinse away the layer of soap she'd worked into every nook and cranny. "Looks like you had a good day."
Riley slung her bag onto the table, letting out a long sigh as her smile widened even more. "I did."
Janie finished rinsing away the soap and wormed the sprayer back into its slot. "That's fantastic. Sounds like you’re getting into your groove with school."
"Actually, I quit."
Janie turned from where she was drying the edges of the stainless steel basin, sure she wasn't understanding what Riley was trying to tell her. "Quit, what?" Stressing? Waiting until the last minute to work on assignments? Putting pressure on herself to be perfect?
Riley's eyes were bright as she rocked up on her toes. "School. I dropped out. I went to my counselor today and told her I was done. That I didn't want to do it anymore."
Janie opened her mouth, then clamped it shut again. After taking a few more seconds to let her brain wrap itself around everything, she asked, "Why would you do that?"
Riley came toward her, continuing to beam. "Because of you." She grabbed Janie's hands, gripping them tight. "I don't want to spend my life doing something that will make me miserable. I want to figure out what's going to make me happy, just like you did."
“You quit because of me?” The words were nearly impossible to push through her lips.
Because of what they meant. What she’d caused.
She could pretend everything she’d done all worked out in the end, but now that it was Riley starting down that same path? Now she had to face the truth.
Her life had amounted to a whole lot of nothing. And it all started when she dropped out of college. She quit one thing after another. Maybe because she knew it drove her mother nuts because she had nothing to brag about. Maybe she was just too picky. Or—more likely—maybe she thought she couldn’t fail if she didn’t finish. Failing had always been the worst thing she could do, and not completing anything was a way around the humiliation.
Only it wasn’t. Not really.
Riley gripped her in a tight hug, not noticing Janie’s stiff posture as she continued cutting deeper and deeper. “Without you, I would have gone all the way through school and spent the rest of my life sitting behind a desk.” She released her, stepping back to grab her bag. “You saved me.” She practically skipped out of the kitchen, leaving Janie standing alone, all her pretend hopes and imaginary dreams crashing down around her.
“J?” Devon’s voice was hesitant. “You good?”
She sucked in a breath, knowing what she had to do. Hopefully it wasn’t too late.
Turning to Devon, eyes on his chin because she couldn’t meet his gaze, she forced out the words she had to say. The words that would make sure he didn’t chase her or ask her to come back. “I can’t do this.” She swallowed, trying to smooth over the wobble of her chin. “I don’t want to be with you. It’s not working for me.” The second she finished cutting into his old wound, she pushed past him, practically running for the door, kicking herself for always taking her shoes off.
“ J .” Devon was right behind her, voice getting sharper and louder each time he called for her, so all she could do was grab her coat and boots, not pausing to put either on as she flung open the door and rushed out into the cold. The sn ow soaked into her socks as she ran to her car, refusing to look back as Devon continued calling her name.
There could be no looking back. No second guessing.
Once again her heart was broken. Once again it was time to move on.
And once again, it was all her fault .