Chapter Twenty-Nine
Axel
Axel can’t believe how good that was. Not just the orgasm, which was by far the best he’s ever had.
But how good it was to be with her like that.
To move together, to be buried inside her.
They sleep with him wrapped around her. It’s still early, but they both seem to be worn out.
He holds her in his arms, wrapping her up tight. He doesn't want to ever let her go.
This is it. It’s what he’s been waiting for his whole life. To be with his mate. To make love, fuck, and hold onto the person who’s the other half of him. Now he’s had it, he’s not sure if he can let her go.
She’s leaving soon, and he wants her to stay. It wouldn’t just be hard to ask her, it would be impossible. After everything, almost losing the lodge, losing millions, and Harvey Group still on his doorstep, he’s not the kind of man Chloe deserves.
He always thought that when he found his mate, he would be perfect for them too.
That he would be an excellent provider, an amazing spouse, and father to their cubs.
But now...now he just feels like a failure.
It’s not enough that the lodge was failing due to a lack of visitors.
But he was also swindled by someone he and his brothers cared about.
What would his father think? What would his mother think?
Oh God, his mother. He had yet to tell her everything that’s going on.
As far as she knows, the lodge is doing well.
Not that he’s been dipping into the trust fund every month to keep it afloat.
So he can’t be with Chloe. He’s not the man she should be with. Not the man she deserves. Regardless of how he feels, how much he loves her, he has to let her go.
He drifts in and out of sleep, not really dreaming.
She’s so close yet so far away. It was special between them.
Not just because it was his first time, but because he loves her so much.
He wonders if it was special for her, too.
She came, multiple times, which he’s happy about. He’s glad he was able to please her.
She stirs, rolling over so her face is buried in his chest. He doesn’t try to sleep anymore, content to lie there with her in his arms. She still smells like honeysuckle, warm and sweet.
Everything he’s ever wanted in his life.
What did his father always say? He would just know?
It’s true, he did know. From the moment she stepped out of Levi's truck, he knew she was his mate. And because he loves her as much as he does, he’s ok with letting her go.
He got to spend one night with her. One wonderful night, and in two days, he’ll say goodbye and never see her again.
She will go back to New York, get a new job where she is respected and revered, fall in love, maybe have a kid or two. She will be happy.
He wonders what will become of him. When the lodge fails and they are forced to inevitably sell the land, what will happen to him?
When a mate dies, the other mate is torn in half.
But what happens when the mate lets the other go?
Never sees them again? He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know if it’s ever happened in the history of his family.
Will he be in shambles? Go feral? What will happen to his brothers?
He’s the leader of their family after all. Will they fall apart, too?
He pushes away the dark thoughts. He wants to spend the night with Chloe, wrapped around each other, happy and satisfied. He kisses the top of her head. Letting her sleep instead of waking her to make love again. He drifts back off to sleep, letting the scent of honeysuckle lull him in.
He starts to wake to the feeling of fingers on his chest. It’s not a sensation he’s felt before, never having woken up with another person like this.
He groans, the morning and the sensation of his chest being stroked going straight to his cock and plumping it up.
He noses into soft hair, honeysuckle, mate.
His arms wrap around a warm body, and he hears a hum of contentment.
Opening his eyes, he finds Chloe with her head on his chest, running her fingers through his chest hair.
He kisses the top of her head, and she turns her face up to look at him.
If he thought she was beautiful before, it's nothing like that moment. Her hair is draped in soft curls around her face, and the light coming in from the curtains hits her red hair and makes it glow. She’s still naked, and his hand skims down her back to the top of her ass.
Big eyes look up at him, and a small smile plays on her lips.
“Mornin’ beautiful.”
She blushes sweetly, “mornin’”
“You sleep ok?”
“Best sleep I’ve ever had.” Her smile is bright. She scoots herself up to plant a chaste kiss on his lips.
He groans, he knows he’s obviously hard.
Knows she knows from the way her knee nudges his cock.
Her hand slides down his chest, fingers trailing through the hair downward to his stomach.
When she gets to the sheet draped over his waist, she pulls it down and just looks.
He feels his cock twitch, it’s standing at attention, the proud bastard.
Her hand skims down, fingers running through his pubic hair before gripping the shaft.
He moans, it’s not a loud moan, but it escapes without him even realizing.
She starts to jack him off, a slow slide of her hand up and down with a loose grip. Kissing his chest and nudging his balls with her knee. She’s teasing him.
“Chloe.” It’s too much, there are too many emotions at play.
He thought it was a one-time thing, that the previous night was all he would have of her.
Now she wants to go again, and he doesn’t know if he can.
Doesn’t know if he can handle the heartbreak of them having sex a second time and then letting her go.
He squeezes his eyes shut. Her pace is still gentle and slow, but he can’t focus.
He needs to tell her to stop, that it’s better if they just have that one night together.
That he just can’t do this, that it’s too much on his heart.
Tears threaten to spill over. He loves her, loves her so damn much.
He wishes things were different, that he was a different man, in a better position in life.
That he could give her everything in the world because she deserves it, she deserves the world.
He finally reaches down and slows her hand.
His eyes are still squeezed tight, and he feels a tear escape.
“Axel? Are you ok? What’s wrong?”
Chloe shifts up on her elbow, hand coming to cup his cheek and wipe away the tear. He kisses her wrist. He wants to tell her, tell her he loves her and wants her to stay. It’s selfish, the overwhelming desire in him to say ‘fuck it’ and tell her how he feels.
“Axel, talk to me? Please.”
He opens his eyes, and she’s right above him, eyes searching his face.
He holds the hand of hers that’s against his cheek, kissing the palm, then the fingertips.
Just a few more minutes. Just a little bit longer, then he’ll let her go, make her breakfast, and walk her to the door.
His eyes are still filled with unshed tears.
Her fingertips brush his eyes, collecting the wetness and rubbing it away.
“Are you ok? Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” he croaks out. She didn’t do anything wrong, she couldn’t have. She’s perfect, his perfect mate. The other half of his soul. She could never hurt him on purpose. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me. It’s a lot. Last night was…it meant a lot to me.”
She smiles softly down at him. Her red hair has fallen forward to frame her face, it tickles his neck.
He cups the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair gently.
She’s beautiful like this, eyes bright, skin creamy and soft, curves for days.
He smiles back at her, leans up, and kisses her mouth.
When he rests his head back on the pillow, she follows him, kissing his lips, cheeks, and nose.
She plants tiny kisses all over his face, and his smile gets bigger.
It’s sweet. She’s kind and caring, full of love.
Their mouths meet again, this time it’s deeper.
He pulls her to him, turns his head for better access.
It’s passionate yet slow. It’s wonderful.
She pulls back, eyes searching his.
“Axel, I love you.”