Chapter Thirty
Chloe
Did she think she was going to tell Axel she loved him before the words popped out of her mouth? No. Does she regret it? Also no.
He lies there, eyes wide, staring at her.
“What?” he asks, voice quiet and raspy.
“I love you. I’m in love with you. You don’t...you don’t have to say it back. It’s ok, I-”
“I love you too. Oh, fuck Chloe, I love you so much.”
He sits up, pulling her with him till she’s across his lap. He kisses her, fast and hard, like he can’t get enough. She tugs on his hair, pressing herself against him as best she can. His hard cock nudges her thigh as she sits astride him.
“Are you sure, Chloe? You don’t have to say it. Don’t feel like you have to say it.”
“I’m sure. I love you, Axel. I thought...I thought I knew what love was, but it’s nothing like what I feel for you. I can’t...I don’t want to lose you.”
“Never, baby. I’m here.”
He slows down the hands roaming her body, closing his eyes again. He looks like he’s in pain, like she made him hurt.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re leaving. You have to leave, go back to New York.” He slides her off his lap, deposits her on the bed next to him, arm still wrapped around her back, pulling her close to his side.
“I don’t…” She doesn’t want to leave, wants to stay with Axel. Wants to be with him forever. But what does that really mean? What can forever look like when they live across the country from each other?
“It’s ok, baby, don’t cry.”
She hadn’t realized she was until he said that. But sure enough, tears are streaming down her face, and her breath is hitching.
“Oh, Axel,” she buries her face in his chest, and he rubs her head.
“It’s not supposed to be like this. It’s supposed to be easier.
” Right? Love is supposed to be easy when you love the right person, right?
They should be closer, in the same city.
Have similar goals in life. They should fit like pieces of a puzzle.
“Love isn’t easy, baby.”
She lifts her head to look at him. His face is gentle, open.
“Love is hard. It’s a lot of work. Two people, two personalities, coming together to mix. To find each other and choose love. It’s work, but the best kind.”
“How are we...what do we do?”
“We do whatever you want. I can come out and visit you, you can come here if you like. We can do long distance. I don’t...I don’t deserve you, Chloe. But I’m selfish. I want you anyway I can have you.”
She doesn’t know why he says he doesn’t deserve her.
He’s the best man, best person she’s ever met.
Kind, gentle, respectful, loving. She doesn’t know why, in the world, he loves her back, but he does, and it makes her heart hurt to know she’s leaving soon.
Even with long distance, visits, phone calls, and texts.
It’s still long distance, and long distance sucks.
How many times a year would she see him?
Two, four? It’s expensive. She has some savings, but she still needs to find another job, and her rent is due soon.
Will he get bored? Tired of traveling and phone calls?
How many relationships survive the distance?
And for how long? How long do they do long distance before…
“I can move here.” The words are out of her mouth as soon as they pop into her head. “I don’t, there’s nothing keeping me in New York. I can move here.”
He sits up some more, brow furrowed and mouth pinched.
“What...I mean, would you want that?” His eyes shift on the blanket in front of them before finding hers. There’s fear there, she’s sure it’s in her eyes, too.
“Yes. I want to move here. I don’t have a job in New York anymore. My only real connection is Danielle, and I can fly out to see her. I would have to try and find a job here-”
“Yes, please. Please Chloe. I don’t want you to leave. I’m sorry, but I don’t. Please move here, move in with me. In my cabin. I will love you every day for the rest of my life. I will spend every moment trying to make you happy. I know I’m not a great catch-”
She kisses him, halting his words. He tries to talk for a moment before he kisses her back, gripping her hair.
“I love you. And you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I would be honored to live in your cabin with you.”
“Our cabin.”
She smiles as their foreheads rest against one another.
Why didn’t she think of this earlier? Moving to Montana.
It seems simple now, easy. She doesn’t have a lot of possessions.
She can sell what she doesn’t want to take with her.
And being with him, it seems like the most important thing in the world. Like she is meant to be here with him.
They kiss slowly and languidly. He lays her down and whispers how much he loves her in her ear.
It’s perfect. She always imagined the situation where a boyfriend would ask her to move in together.
She thought at dinner, sliding a key across the table.
Or house hunting, looking at places online together.
But this is perfect, it’s them. Still naked, they kiss without purpose till her stomach rumbles loudly.
She pulls away, blushing hard.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be, beautiful. I’m hungry too, let me make you breakfast.”
It’s almost noon when they meander downstairs, too caught up in kissing, touching, and saying they love each other to make food sooner.
Axel makes them a feast: sausage, bacon, eggs, pancakes, and hash browns.
She piles her plate high and eats. When she catches him watching, she blushes, worried she looks like a pig stuffing herself, but he smiles, kisses her across the table, and tells her she’s beautiful. She’s starting to believe him, too.
It’s not often that a man has praised her like this.
Worshiped her body and complimented her this way.
He genuinely seems to like her and the way she looks, so she tries to be herself.
Flaunt her curves, back her ass up into him, smile, and bare her neck.
His lips part just so when she does that.
She figures it’s the bear in him, liking her submission.
Even though she can be fiery as fuck she doesn’t mind being his, knowing that he can and will take care of her.
After they’ve eaten and moved to the couch, her in one of his t-shirts and panties.
Him shirtless in soft sweatpants. He’s rubbing her back as she lists off all the things she’ll need to do back in New York before she moves to Montana.
Ending the lease on her house, packing boxes, selling furniture, and seeing her Mom again before she moves.
“Chloe, baby, I need to tell you something.”
The seriousness of his voice causes her to sit up and pull away so she can face him fully.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t know how to tell you. And I didn’t want it to interfere with last night or today. But you have a right to know. You need to know before you move here.”
She can feel the panic creeping up. Has he lied? Been married?
“You know that I was a virgin until last night?” She nods in understanding.
“Well...that’s because bear shifters can only be with their mate.
When I was younger, I tried. My parents had always told us we could only be with our mate or we’d get sick.
Love sickness is what my grandma called it.
But I tried kissing and going further with this girl from town.
It was horrible, terrible stomach pain, felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside.
But more than that, it felt wrong. I knew I had to wait for my mate. ”
“Mate?” Her eyes are wide, confusion clear on her face.
“My soul mate. Bear shifters have a soul mate. We believe the person is incomplete until they find their mate. And some never do. But I found mine, I found you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, Chloe, you’re my mate. You’re the other half of my soul. I’m incomplete without you.”
She looks at him, wide-eyed. It’s crazy, people can’t have soulmates.
That’s a thing of movies, fiction. Not something that’s real.
But he looks earnest, like he wants her to believe him.
And he’s never lied to her, never been distrustful, always honest. And he’s not really human, is he?
So maybe bear shifters do have mates? Maybe humans do too?
Because all her life she searched for something to make her feel complete.
A career, a life she built for herself. But maybe it was a person all along? Maybe he is her soulmate, too?
She surges forward. There are too many words swimming around her head, and she just wants to kiss him.
Wants his tongue in her mouth. Wants to be underneath his large frame.
He answers her kiss with a growl that reverberates in his chest. Lying her down on the couch and bracketing her in with his arms. She feels safe, loved.
“Does this mean you’re ok with it? With being my mate? Because I can’t change it. You’re it for me.”
“You're my mate too, Axel. I was always looking for something. My heart always felt kind of empty, like something was missing. It was you all along, it was you.”