Chapter 15 Carrie #3
My stomach twists just thinking about it.
I’m not the kind of girl to go all weak-kneed at the thought of some guy.
When I read romance novels, I hate all the gushy descriptions of male performance.
But with Donovan? It feels like the guy knows exactly what I need before I know it.
I’ve never experienced anything like it.
And even when we’re fucking like we’re trying to break furniture, it feels like… something else.
Right… definitely won’t be saying that.
“I think we maybe need to back off now,” Lois murmurs. “It’s none of our business, after all.”
Should’ve thought of that before you went spilling tea to Becca the bloodhound!
She seems to realize she’s gone a bit too intense. “It’s just girl talk. We’ve all got guys—of course we’re going to want to discuss them. Well… Some of us have got guys, anyway,” Becca adds, her eyes sliding over to the sisters.
Two wrinkly faces turn to look at her.
“We don’t want a pair of grandpas hanging around and getting under our feet, but rest assured—we get our kicks.”
Becca slaps her hands over her ears. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that!”
We laugh, and I realize I’m actually enjoying myself now, despite it all.
I have a bad habit of sticking to my own company.
I’m not a big talker, and I find it hard to open up, but times like this make me realize that I’m missing out.
What’s the big deal, anyway? It’s not like I plan on admitting I’m crazy in love with him, or anything.
I’m getting hints of the old, nonchalant me.
I lock eyes with Becca. I’ve done a good job fending off her prying, but I’m suddenly hit with an urge to get everything off my chest.
“Okay…” I pause. What the hell. “We’re hooking up—happy?”
“Wait—present tense?” Becca glances at Lois, mouth hanging open. “So this is still a thing?”
“Yeah, but before you start getting any ideas, let me just say this—we aren’t together-together, and we never will be.”
I don’t “do” boyfriends. My parents got together in college, and my mom’s whole life was my dad. We all know how that turned out—which is exactly why I promised myself I would spend these four years focusing exclusively on school. No way I’m getting hit by the family curse.
“Why not?” Hope asks.
“We’re just having fun every now and then.”
“Who are you, and what did you do with my roomie?”
“Cut the crap, Becca.” I roll my eyes. “You’re acting like I used to be a virgin, or something.”
“I know you had a thing with John, but Donovan…”
“I’m gonna stop you right there.” I hold up a hand. “I’m not a fangirl, okay? I’m not obsessed with him, I don’t plan on following him around like a little puppy, I…”
I’m all out of talk. I don’t know what they’re getting off me, but considering how they’re looking at me right now, I must be giving off a vibe.
“What?”
“Carrie, honey…”
“You guys are looking at me like I’m screwed.”
“Oh, you’re getting screwed, all right.”
The little psycho manages to coax a laugh out of me.
I am being screwed, and I have no idea how to make it stop.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t want it to stop, and that bothers me, because it goes against everything I thought I believed in.
I’m heading straight for a place the old me would have done everything to avoid.
“Can we talk about something else?” I whine, tugging on my collar.
“Yes!” Lois jumps up and makes a beeline for the kitchen. “Who wants an empowered-woman smoothie?”
“Can you whip up something that’ll take a man down, instead?” Becca smirks. “If so, gimme a gallon for my darling Carter.”
Prudence perks up. “What’s your latest argument about?”
“He wants a dog. A fucking dog, you know?” She sighs. “I mean, what the hell?”
“Maybe he wants some company during the day,” Lois cries out over the blender.
“Trust me, he gets enough company. Know what he did the other day? I was on all fours on his bed, and—”
“I think we can fill in the blanks!” I cover my ears.
“I can’t.” Hope chuckles. “Carry on, dear.”
“I was feeling good. I was feeling real good, as a matter of fact. And then, just as I was getting—”
“Cartered?” I finish for her.
She nods eagerly. “Yup, that. Right in the middle of the action, I hear him say—and I quote—‘Maybe an Australian shepherd is too much.’ ”
I glance at Lois. She’s bent over double.
“What did you say to that?”
“I told him I planned on getting a Doberman,” she says darkly. “One I would rear on a diet of pure man blood.”
“Oh God…” Lois slides five glasses on the table.
“He’d be called Castrator, and I would train him to go for Cart’s—”
Becca’s phone rings. She stares at it for a beat, before swiping it off the table and picking up.
I can make out a male voice across the airwaves, and considering the shadow dancing over Becca’s features, I’m pretty sure I know who it is.
“Speak of the devil. I was just telling the girls how amazing a dog-hide rug would look in the living room!” She smiles sweetly.
“Consider yourself warned, Carter. No dogs! Not even a cute one! Your balls depend on it.” She softens.
“Love you, boo.” She thinks for a moment.
“Wait, I take it back. I don’t love you,” she corrects, “and you’re not my boo. Not today, anyway.”
Just before she hangs up, tinny laughter fills the air.
“It’s like that guy knows when I’m talking shit about him.”
Hope sucks on her straw. “I like dogs.”
“It’s a slippery slope, though. Today, it’s a dog. What’ll it be tomorrow? A kid?” Becca dry heaves. “Take it from me, ladies. Don’t let a pretty face and a big—”
“Stop!” Lois and I blurt out at the same time.
I take a sip on my smoothie and swipe at my phone, firing off a message.
CARRIE: Tip of the day
If you want to get a dog, be strategic about it.
WOLINSKILLMENOW: I’ve had a few beers. Did you mean to write ‘if you want to get it on’?
CARRIE: Get what on?
Backtrack, backtrack.
CARRIE: Anyway, tip of the day, part two
Don’t bring up serious shit when you’re doing doggy. Actually, don’t do doggy—period.
WOLINSKILLMENOW: I feel like this is another master class I could give you. Call me to book.
I start typing out a reply, but my hands are trembling.
I close my eyes and take in a few deep breaths, desperately trying to pull myself together.
It’s insane what he does to me in just a few short lines.
Get your shit together, girl. I need to get a grip.
I don’t like how little self-control I have.
I delete my text mid-sentence.
CARRIE: I’m pleased to announce you’ve passed level one with flying colors. Congrats!
I blast it off before I change my mind.
WOLINSKILLMENOW: Am I gonna like level two?
CARRIE: Definitely. It’s time to put everything you’ve learned into practice.
WOLINSKILLMENOW: I am so down.
CARRIE: It’s time to get you a girlfriend.