Chapter 23
CLOVER
Ihave to hold in a grumble when Beckett stands up. The missing warmth from him is too apparent, and I want him back immediately.
His laugh echoes through the foyer on the way to the door, and it warms my insides. I missed nights like this with this family. No one is ever an outsider; no one isn’t part of the family. They accept you and love you like one of their own . . . until you lose that right.
Brynn asks Lennon if she took care of us during the flood, and Lennon tells her all about how she tried to gather worms for us to eat just in case. “We also had to save Clover from Princess Doom. She taught me how to use magic, and her and Daddy did a big kiss after the flood went away.”
Brynn’s eyes widen and dart to me so fast, I swear I hear the sound barrier break.
Mary and Hayes have to hold back their laughs, and I can feel every bit of color I might have drained out of me.
I chuckle nervously and lovingly lean over to squeeze the Jesus out of Lennon.
“So silly, right, Lenny?” I ask her through a clenched smile.
She giggles as I tickle her sides. What a little tattle-tale.
“Daddy and Lovey did what, now?” Brynn asks, shell-shocked.
“Well,” I start. “We were actually going to get around to that . . . ” I’ve never been so happy to be interrupted in my life when Beckett comes back in, looking a bit pale. “That’s something for later, though,” I announce cheerfully, pointing to the desserts. “I made pies!”
Beckett’s smile is forced, and there’s a big manila envelope and papers in his hand. “I gotta run these upstairs real quick,” he rushes.
Mary’s face has gone very serious, and it concerns me.
I’ve never seen this look on her face, and we did some atrocious things growing up.
“I thought you handled that,” she says, her voice on edge.
Beckett doesn’t respond, but turns around to walk up the stairs.
“Beckett, don’t you dare turn from me right now. ” I’ve never heard her voice so stern.
He rubs his knuckles against his chest, and I see his breathing speeding up, and I get up to go be beside him.
When I get to him, I make a calm, hushed sound to try to ease his nerves.
Everyone looks so stern and upset, except for Lennon.
She’s busy helping herself to an obscenely large piece of pie, but I’m not going to stop her.
The tension right now is crazy, so the less aware she is, the better.
I look to Beckett, trailing my fingers up and down his arm softly, trying to ground him. “What is it, Beck?” When I glance down at the papers in his hand, my question is answered for me.
Petition for Dissolution of Marriage
Hannah Hollis
vs
Beckett Hollis
I’m not sure if it’s air leaving my lungs, my soul leaving my body, or my heart falling out of my ass, but I feel it.
“Thought that was taken care of long ago, son,” Hayes says. He’s a sweet man, but a man of few words. When he speaks, it’s because he has something worth listening to.
My eyes finally leave the paper, and I look up at Beckett. “You’re married?” I ask calmly. The room stays quiet until a little voice chimes in.
“Daddy’s married? To who?”
Beckett’s eyes close. “Not now, please,” he whispers.
Brynn’s silence shatters, and she jumps into action, swooping Lennon up in her arms. “C’mon, kiddo. Show me how your chickens are doing!” She breezes out of the sliding glass door, Lennon distracted by the next subject.
Beckett clears his throat and smiles sadly at his parents before retreating upstairs.
Hayes gets up and walks by me to head outside and check on Brynn and Lennon.
Mary starts collecting the dishes from the table.
“You don’t have to do that, Mary,” I insist, my voice strained over the family of frogs that apparently live in it now.
“I know, baby,” she soothes. “Let me, though.”
I nod and help her, working next to each other quietly to get the dishes going, the table wiped down, and the kitchen cleaned. The only thing left was half of a decimated pie that Lenny dug into, and its untouched twin.
I plop down in a chair and slide the pie Lennon started on towards me, stabbing a fork into it and taking a bite. Mary sits down after a minute with a cup of coffee, moving the pie between us and eating some, too.
“He was supposed to finalize it,” she says quietly. “I didn’t think he’d kept anything from me.”
I exhale. “Guess we learn something new every day.”
She lays her hand on mine. “It’s gonna work out this time, Clover girl.” She winks at me before kissing the top of my head, walking out, and hollering at her husband that it was time to head out. I take another bite of my pie and groan.
I hate that she knows what’s eating me alive, and the way that she acts as if she has always known about Beckett and me.
* * *
The house is quiet. Brynn and I got Lennon to bed, I took a long bath, and now I’m lying in bed in my pajamas and my hair in a towel, doomscrolling.
I’ve only seen Beckett one time since dinner, and it was when he came to say goodnight to Lennon and read to her.
There’s a soft knock on my door, and I’m tempted to ignore him.
“Yeah?” I call out. My voice sounds exhausted, and I am. Not just physically, either, but emotionally. I thought things were taking a small turn, but I guess I was looking too far into it.
Beckett comes in and closes the door quietly behind him. I lock my phone and plug it in, lay it on the nightstand, and look at him. He points to the corner of the bed. “Is it okay if I sit?”
“Technically, it’s your furniture, so you can do what you want,” I deadpan. I don’t mean to come across so snarky, but it is what it is at this point. He sighs and lowers himself down, leaning his back against the tall bedpost at the foot of the bed.
“Don’t be like that, CJ,” he tells me softly. “This is your home now, too.”
“For now,” I state. That’s the truth, too. I forgot to mentally separate the fact that this wasn’t permanent. I need to find a place to go, but I’ve been so wrapped up in playing house that it slipped my mind.
I didn’t realize I was playing house with a married man.