Chapter 9
Frankie
“H ey, come here,” I muttered, grabbing Lou by the arm so I could tug her across the grass.
“What’s up?” she asked happily.
“So, Gray’s going to take me out on the bike—”
“Oh, fun!”
“—we’ll be back sometime next week.”
“Wait, what?” she looked at me in confusion.
“We’re going to take the week off.”
“When the hell did you decide that? You’re going with Gray? I didn’t realize that was still a thing that was happening.” She shook her head. “I’m so lost right now.”
“We decided today,” I replied, glancing at my phone. It was five o’clock. I needed to get home soon if I was going to be ready by seven.
“So, what, you’re together now? And you’re taking a trip?”
“We’re friends. He noticed that work’s been wearing me down and asked if I wanted to take off for a while.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, still completely confused. “I mean, can you just do that?”
“I’m doing it,” I replied, feeling more sure of it as I tried to explain. “I’ll deal with whatever when we get back.”
“Okay.” She looked at me closely. “If you think it’s a good idea.”
“I do.” I nodded firmly. I was excited for the first time in…so long I couldn’t even remember. “Could you run me back to the house real quick so I can pack?”
“Now?”
“Yeah, he’s picking me up at seven.”
“You’re leaving tonight ?”
“No time like the present.” I shrugged.
Lou was silent for a few moments. “All right.”
I didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone. They’d be full of questions and try to convince me to stay later. I’d see them all soon enough, I was sure. Within minutes, I was in the passenger seat of Lou’s car as we headed back to our house.
“You’re sure that this is a good idea?” Lou asked tentatively as we pulled into the driveway.
I sat for a moment, wondering how to explain it. She wouldn’t understand unless I told her the whole truth. Without it, the decision to just take off seemed impulsive and reckless. I’d been accused of being both of those things, usually I took a little pride in it, but when it came to important things I’d never been a risk taker. Lou knew that.
“Scott’s made things really bad at work.” I turned to face her. “It’s gotten so bad that I’m barely sleeping.”
“Frank,” she murmured sadly. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wanted to handle it on my own.”
“How’s that going?” she asked derisively.
“Not great.”
“Yeah.”
“Gray noticed something was up. He asked if I wanted to go with him. Clear my head and get me out of the shit for a while.”
“That guy’s a dark horse, I swear.”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “He’s pretty easy for me to read most of the time.”
“Well, you’re obviously seeing something that I don’t.”
“He’s different with me.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I laughed. “That sounds bad.”
“I knew what you meant,” Lou said with a small smile. “He actually talks to you.”
“He’s an open book,” I replied with a shrug.
“So, you’re going on a road trip on the back of a motorcycle,” Lou said, taking a deep breath. “How the hell do you pack for that?”
“Very light.”
“You want some help?”
My shoulders slumped with relief. “Yes, please.”
“Then let’s go. You’ve only got an hour and a half.”
“You think that’ll be enough time?” I asked, following her out of the car.
“I figure we’ll grab everything you think you’ll need,” she said as she unlocked the front door. “Then we’ll cut it in half.”
“And then in half again?”
“You got it,” she said, grinning at me over her shoulder.
Forty minutes later I had outfits, a coat, and toiletries laid out on the bed and a pair of boots set on the floor next to it.
“Now cut it in half,” Lou ordered.
I took out two T-shirt and legging outfits.
“No, take the jeans out,” Lou argued. “The leggings will take less space in your bag.”
I switched them.
“What about the dress?” she mused.
“I’m taking it.”
“Okay.” She tapped her finger on her chin. “It doesn’t take up much space, so you’re good there.”
“I still have way too much.”
“I know.”
We stared at the bed.
“Okay, I have an idea. Don’t panic until I’m done.”
“Fine.”
“So, you wear a pair of jeans tonight,” she said, tossing me a pair. “Then you pack one pair of leggings and two pairs of shorts.” She lined them up. “You don’t need more than that. Then you just bring mix and match shirts. You can wear the pants more than once.”
I nodded and reached for my shirts, setting them near the bottoms they matched.
“It’s still too much,” I hissed in exasperation. “They’ll never fit in my backpack.”
“Wear the sweatshirt tonight,” she advised, tossing it at me. “Jean jacket over it. You know it’ll be cold on the bike after the sun goes down.”
“Okay, but what about all that?” I pointed to the toiletries.
“Moisturizer,” Lou said as she searched through the pile. “Chapstick, mascara, brush, deodorant, bodywash, toothbrush, and toothpaste. There. You’re covered.”
“You left out all my makeup,” I argued flatly.
“You can bring makeup or underwear. You can’t have both.”
“Why did I agree to this again?”
“Stop bitching.”
“Underwear,” I chose, reaching out to move them to the small pile of clothes. “And bras and my swimsuit.”
“Good call,” Lou agreed. “Now the moment of truth.”
Carefully rolling each item, I stuffed them into my backpack one by one.
“You’re bringing a purse?”
“Yeah, the black one,” I said, nodding to it.
“Belt bag. Good idea.”
“It’s a fanny pack,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s called a fanny pack.”
“Whatever.” Lou waved me off. “Moisturizer and Chapstick in here with your wallet. Wait!”
“What?” I asked, spinning to face her.
“Freaking sunblock!”
“Right. There’s some in my other purse.”
“I’ll grab the big bottle out of the kitchen,” she argued over her shoulder as she hurried out of the room, raising her voice as she moved further away. “You’re going to be on the bike all day, you’re going to need the big bottle.”
I checked the clock on the nightstand. I had under an hour left.
A few minutes later, we stared at the packed bag on my bed.
“You should probably put the smaller bottle of sunblock in your fanny pack,” Lou advised. “If you have to reapply during the day, you don’t want to have to unpack that thing.”
“Good idea,” I said, grabbing it out of my purse so I could switch it over.
“You have your insurance card?”
“It’s in my wallet.”
“Passport?”
“We’re not leaving the country.”
“Still.”
“I have other ID.”
“Okay, then I think you’re set.”
“My charger!”
“That would’ve been a disaster.”
“No shit.” I rounded my bed and unplugged it from the wall.
“Stuff it in the small pocket.”
“Good idea.” I rolled it up and put it away. “Thank you so much for helping me.”
“Of course,” Lou replied easily, grabbing the pile of pants I hadn’t packed so she could stuff them back in my drawer.
I reached for the rest of the leftovers. “You going to be cool here alone for the week?”
“I’m sure Myla will be down for a sleepover at some point. Bas, too.”
“Sorry I didn’t give you more notice.”
“You didn’t have more notice.” She shrugged. “I’m a big girl. I can stay home alone.”
“I’m nervous,” I confessed, looking at my bag of clothes for the week. “Is that weird?”
“For you?” she chuckled. “A little. But being nervous isn’t a bad thing. Normal people are nervous all the time.”
“Ugh. How do you deal with this all the time?”
“You get used to it,” she replied dryly. “You’ve got less than an hour. Go shower. Shave your legs really well because we didn’t pack a razor.”
“Shit.”
“Go,” she ordered. “I’ll put your stuff in the living room.”
Before I could shower, there was something else I needed to do. Pulling out my laptop, I sat on the edge of the bed and emailed my boss. I debated telling him that my partner’s mother had died, a little smile pulling at my lips, but eventually just told him I’d had a family emergency, and I wouldn’t be in that week, and I wouldn’t be available by phone. I detailed where everything was in my office so someone else could pick up the slack. I didn’t want to be there, but I also didn’t want to make my coworkers jobs any harder either. By the time I’d sent the email, I felt lighter.
I hurried into the bathroom and turned on the shower. While it was heating up, I washed my face really well with the cleanser that Myla’s Aunt Farrah had given me for Christmas. Usually, I just used a washcloth and water because the cleanser was expensive, and I didn’t want to waste it. I knew that pretty much defeated the purpose of having it, but I’d so rarely had any fancy toiletry products growing up that it felt weird to use them willy-nilly. That’s what happened when you grew up with a man that used bar soap on everything, including his mostly bald head.
I had the time, so I took an everything shower. I wasn’t sure where we were staying—I hadn’t even thought to ask—and I wasn’t sure when I’d get another one. It took a full hour before I was dressed and ready to leave. Between diffusing my hair, searching for my spare deodorant because I’d already packed the one I usually used, stealing some of Lou’s moisturizer and mouthwash, and trying to find the right pair of socks, I managed to stumble out of the bedroom pulling my boots on just as Lou let Gray in the house.
I froze at the end of the hallway. “I forgot socks.”
“Crap!” Lou paused, my bag in her hand.
We both looked at it. There was no way we’d fit anything else in there.
Gray laughed. It started quietly and grew progressively louder.
Lou’s eyes widened in shock.
“Grab some,” Gray ordered as he gently took the bag out of Lou’s hands. “We’ll put ’em in the saddlebags.”
I hurried back to my room with Lou on my heels.
“Okay, I get it,” she announced as I searched through my drawer. I was only bringing my boots, and I brought shorts, so I needed at least a few pairs of lacy socks.
“Get what?” I asked absentmindedly. I needed at least two pairs of cozy socks. Three, no two pairs of cushioned. Maybe we’d hike? Was Gray a hiker?
Lou stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. “Gray,” she said seriously. “I get it. Holy shit.”
“I know,” I said, looking back to the socks in my hands. Were seven pairs too much?
“He’s handsome, but when he smiles…”
“I know,” I repeated, deepening my voice. I tried like hell to push the memory of him smiling at that blonde woman out of my head.
“Okay, you got them. Go,” she ordered, shooing me.
I grabbed one more pair, a thin one, just in case.
“All set?” Gray asked in amusement as I strode back out clutching them against my chest.
“I think so.”
“Don’t need anythin’ else?” His lips were still twitching.
“Pretty sure I have everything.”
“How sure?”
“Very sure,” I ground out.
“What about a jacket?” he asked.
“Shit!”
“I’ll grab it,” Lou practically yelled as she ran for my room.
“There’s no rush, baby,” Gray reminded me gently as he looked me over. “We’re not on any timetable.”
“I wanted to be ready by the time you got here.”
“I got it,” Lou yelled, jogging back into the living room. She threw it to Gray before turning to me. “Hold on tight,” she ordered. “Call or text me every day.”
“I will.”
“Take pictures.”
“I’ll try.”
Gray walked outside, leaving the door open behind him.
“Relax,” Lou said, pulling me into a hug, my socks squished between us. “Try not stress about shit happening back here.”
“I have a feeling Gray won’t let me.”
“He’s into you,” she whispered in my ear.
“Maybe.”
“No,” she shook her head, making it brush against mine. “No, he’s really into you. I thought so before, but I’m sure now.”
“We’ll see,” I said, pulling away.
“Love you,” she said, following me toward the door.
“Love you, too,” I replied. “You planning on waving goodbye?”
“I’m going back to the party.” She picked up her purse and grinned. “My work here is done.”
“You’re the best.”
“I know,” she called as I left the house.
Gray was standing next to his bike holding my backpack. He’d parked behind Lou’s car and was waiting patiently. As I got closer, he opened up one of the saddlebags so I could drop my socks inside.
“There’s tons of room in there,” I accused jokingly.
“Hand me your coat,” he ordered. He folded it up tightly and stuffed it in with the socks. “It’s too warm to wear that shit right now.”
“It feels a little too warm for this sweatshirt, too,” I said, pulling my fanny pack over my head and threading one arm through it.
“You’ll cool off once we’re on the road.” He helped me slide my arms into the straps of the backpack and then reached for one of the helmets he’d brought. Carefully, he pulled it onto my head and buckled the strap beneath my chin.
I’d been on the back of different men’s motorcycles—the boys had driven us home from the bars more times than I could count—but there was something very different about being on the back of Gray’s. I’d been too distracted when he’d brought me home from the clinic, but there wasn’t anything to distract me now. My skin flushed as I climbed on behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
I didn’t ask where we were going. It didn’t matter.
“Scoot closer,” he ordered, one hand on my thigh.
He didn’t turn the engine on until I was plastered against his back, his ass nestled into the V of my legs.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Lou called out jokingly as she waved goodbye.
I left the visor on Harper’s helmet up as we cruised through town, enjoying the wind against my face. The further we got from the house, the more my body relaxed, my shoulders falling, the tight muscles in my back easing. It was incredible how little it took—just leaving everything behind for a week—to be able to inhale again without feeling like I was choking.
As we got onto the highway, Gray’s hand dropped back to my thigh, his thumb rubbing in small circles. I lifted my hand to his chest, feeling his heartbeat against my fingers.
It was pure magic. The closest to euphoria I’d ever felt.
Eventually, I pulled the visor down and lay my head against Gray’s back, watching the view pass almost dreamily. I wasn’t tired, but I fell into a trance, nothing in my mind but the wind and the feel of the road and the view passing by us.
It grew dark, and I turned my head so I could watch the car lights pass on the opposite side of the divider.
Eventually, Gray pulled off the highway and onto a two-lane road. I perked up and watched over his shoulder as he took turn after turn, eventually pulling into a deserted gravel parking lot.
I lifted the visor as he parked and turned the bike off. “If I didn’t know better, I’d be very nervous right now.”
Gray’s stomach tightened under my hands as he chuckled.
My legs were like jelly, but I tried to hide it as I climbed down and reached for my helmet. “Where are we?”
“Feel like hittin’ a hot spring?” he asked, pulling off his own helmet before reaching to help with mine.
“Seriously?”
“Should be deserted this time of night.”
“You think?” I looked at the darkness around us. We were so far from civilization that there was no light pollution at all, just the moon barely filtering through the trees.
“You can leave your bag here,” he said. “No one will mess with it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Never have before.”
“You come here a lot?” I asked, setting my backpack against the back tire. My shoulders were stiff where the straps had rubbed.
“Few times. I like the quiet.”
“I would’ve never guessed that,” I joked as I crouched down and unzipped the top of my bag. Thankfully, we’d packed the smallest things on top, and my bikini was easy to reach.
Gray rounded the bike. When he came back, he was holding up a ratty towel. “You mind sharin’?”
I let out a huff of laughter as I rose. “You think that’s going to dry both of us off?”
“Enough,” he replied with a shrug.
“I don’t mind sharing.”
“You came prepared,” he commented, nodding to the bikini in my hand as he tossed the towel over his shoulder.
“Is there anywhere to change?”
“The bushes.”
“That’ll work,” I replied. “Lead the way.”
Pulling a flashlight out of his pocket, he turned it on and reached for me with his other hand. Our fingers laced together as he led me into the woods. I’d grown up with a father who didn’t take vacations, but he had taken me camping when we had long weekends, and the scent around us brought up a thousand memories. Eventually, Gray stopped.
“I’ll turn away,” he said, doing just that.
“Uh, okay.”
The knowledge of Gray standing just feet from me while I changed didn’t bother me at all. I knew he wouldn’t turn back around until I’d given the okay. But it still felt weird that we were out in the open.
I took a deep breath and pulled off my hoodie, looking around for somewhere to set it until I was done. Eventually I just laid it over Gray’s shoulder. He reached up instantly to secure it.
The rest of my clothes landed quickly on Gray’s shoulder, and he didn’t hesitate once as he held them each piece in place.
A year ago, I wouldn’t have bothered with a swimsuit. When was the last time I’d gone skinny-dipping? The answer was depressing.
When I finally told Gray he could turn back around I was standing there in nothing but my bikini and boots.
“Damn,” he breathed.
Blood rushed up my neck. “You’ve seen it all before.”
“But not with the boots,” he joked, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
“Shut up,” I mumbled as he reached for my hand again.
“I didn’t bring trunks,” he said as he led me toward the hot spring. “You mind if I’m in my boxers?”
“What would you do if the answer was no?” I asked curiously.
“Sit on the edge,” he replied easily.
“I don’t mind if you wear your boxers,” I said quietly.
He didn’t respond, just lifted our entwined hands and kissed the back of mine.
The spring was big enough for ten people to sit in comfortably. A wood platform had been built on one side, and stairs had been carved into the rock along the edge at an angle.
“How deep is it?” I asked, leaning down to take my boots and socks off.
“Four feet at the far edge,” he replied, undressing beside me. He didn’t set my clothes down until he’d already stripped his bottom half, laying my clothes carefully on top of his. “Three and a half on this side.”
I stepped in as he stripped off his sweatshirt and T-shirt in one movement. The water was hot enough that I had to inch in, letting my body become accustomed to the heat bit by bit. Once I was in, he slid in up to his shoulders.
“Ow,” I blurted, watching him wide-eyed as he reached out to turn off the flashlight.
“It’s not so bad.”
“Um, I’m in here,” I argued. “It is so bad.”
“Not any worse than a hot tub.”
“It’s hotter.”
He just hummed, leaning back until his head rested against the outside ledge.
I took the time to explore, dropping down gradually until the water covered my shoulders. It really wasn’t that bad once I was in it. The ground was sandy, with little pebbles that scratched if I didn’t step carefully. There was a ledge around the entire outer ring perfect for sitting. Eventually, I pulled myself onto it and curled my knees to my chest.
“How did you find this place?” I asked quietly. The dark woods were insulating, it felt like we were the only people in the whole world. I wondered if that’s why he’d brought me.
“An old friend brought me years ago,” he replied. “There were a ton of people here during the day, which wasn’t my thing. But I figured most of the city people wouldn’t want to try and find it in the dark, and I was right.”
“An old girlfriend?”
His eyes opened as he lifted his head to look at me.
“Yes.”
I nodded.
“Neither one of us were virgins,” he stated baldly.
“I know that.”
He tilted his head back again.
“I saw you with the blonde woman,” I confessed, looking out into the woods.
“Emma.”
I kept my mouth shut.
“Where?”
“Outside a restaurant. Twice actually. Different restaurants.”
“Why didn’t you say hello?”
I snorted so hard that my chin dipped under the water. Yeah, I should’ve just walked up to them the morning after I’d fucked her boyfriend and introduced myself.
“Ask what you wanna ask,” he said, looking over at me again.
“Why’d you fuck me if you’re with her?”
“I’m not with her.”
“Okay,” I replied quickly. My muscles were being soothed by the water, my mind was finally clear after so long. I was having a good time. I shouldn’t have even brought it up, and I was regretting it.
“Emma and I—”
“Could you stop saying her name?”
Gray’s head tipped down as he shot me a look. “We’ve never been exclusive. Neither of us were interested in that.”
“Got it.” I didn’t feel any better about it, but I was glad that I wasn’t the other woman or something.
“That’s done,” he said quietly. “Won’t be seeing her again.”
“Why?”
“Not interested.”
“All right.”
We sat there in the quiet for a long time, listening to the wind blow through the trees and the crickets and frogs singing. Eventually, though, I grew restless and had to move. Scooting out to the middle of the spring, I leaned back and let myself float. The water muffled the sound, but I still felt the disturbance as Gray moved. A second later, his hands brushed my back and thigh. I’d drifted toward him. As I let my lower half sink, he caught me on his lap.
“I think this is the longest you’ve ever been quiet,” he said softly, brushing the wet hair away from my face with both hands.
“Not all of us are the strong silent type,” I countered, reaching up to grip his wrists.
My heart was galloping, and my skin felt super sensitive as his thumbs found my cheeks. God, I loved to look at him. The moonlight highlighted parts of his face and cast shadows on the rest. He looked like a painting.
“There she is,” he said, searching my face. “That’s the Francesca I know.”
“I feel like myself,” I confirmed. “We should get hammered and dance on tables or something before it goes away again.”