CHAPTER NINE #2
This is happening. I can feel it. I can smell his cologne and the pizza and whiskey on his breath, and I can hear blood rushing in my ears as he takes my face between his hands and brushes his lips against mine. It’s sweet, tentative, gentle.
And hot. Hot as hell, hot enough to make my nerves tingle and my lady bits sing the “Hallelujah” chorus.
And that’s before he plunges his tongue between my lips, and I just about explode. Somebody taught him how to kiss, and he took detailed notes. His hands leave my face in favor of running through my hair while my hands slide over his chest and shoulders.
This is real. It’s real!
His heart’s pounding in his chest, under my palm. He’s feeling this too.
When he takes me by the hips and pulls me closer, I can tell other parts of him are also responding. If I wasn’t in the middle of the hottest make-out session of my life, I’d have to pinch myself.
Dustin Grant, with his tongue in my mouth and his erection pressed up against me, groans softly as his hands run up and down my back. Not moonlight and roses, but it’s pretty darn good in the moment.
“Let’s go to my hotel,” he whispers in my ear before nibbling on my neck.
I can barely hold a single thought in my head, but that invitation rings out like a gong and sweeps everything else away for a second. “Your hotel?”
“Yes.” He thrusts his hips against me. “I need you. Now.”
Sure. Why not?
That goes through my head right away because I’m only human, right? This onetime music god wants to take me back to his hotel and rock my world. And it’s all in service of my book after all. Isn’t it?
Somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I know what this will lead to. It might be a great night, one for the books—no pun intended—but that’ll be it. I’ll be one more girl to add to his list of conquests, and I don’t want to be that girl.
So, even though every part of my body wants desperately to give in and go to his hotel and let him ravish me, I pull back and look him in the half-lidded eye. “I can’t do that. I want to, but I can’t.”
His eyes snap open wide. “What?”
“I said, I can’t do that. I want to. But that’s not how I am.”
He snorts softly like this is news to him. “You’re serious?”
“I am.” I wiggle out of his lap even though my heart’s sinking and my lady parts are not happy with me right now. I’m afraid they’ll stage a revolt.
He stares at me, frowning, straightening himself out. “Wow. Okay. I’ve gotta say, that’s new.”
“I guess it is.” But I won’t apologize even though I’m sure I ruined my chances for this to go anywhere else. Man, I always make the wrong move! It wouldn’t have hurt anything for me to say yes, would it? I’d have had an incredible memory and a heck of a story to share with Hayley.
And Matt because he needs to have it rubbed in his face. Why he should come to mind right now is a mystery.
“Where do you wanna go?” He’s still looking at me like I’m some unknown species.
Is it really that unusual for somebody to turn him down? I mean, the law of averages says he’s had to have been turned down at some point, right? The girls he picks up can’t all be willing.
Jeez, how could I have been so dumb? This whole night was nothing more than a drawn-out pick-up for him. He took me for drinks, for pizza, for intimate conversation while walking the streets of New York. A magical, dizzying sort of experience he hoped would knock me off my feet and into his bed.
No wonder people think I’m naive.
“I think I should go home.” I wrap my arms around myself and look out the window, away from him. “I really want to go with you, Dustin. I really do. But I can’t. Not when I don’t know you.”
It’s a long time before he says anything. When he does, it sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. “You’re different. I’ll give you that. I can’t remember the last time somebody turned me down. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”
“No! No, you’re … you! You’re amazing. But I’m not going to sleep with you just because you are who you are. What’s the point?”
He snickers.
“I mean, okay, I get what the point is,” I admit. “But I’m the kind of girl who wants to know somebody when she’s with him like that. I know I’m old-fashioned. But I can’t be somebody I’m not.”
He hates me. I can feel it. I can hardly even blame him because I sort of hate myself. No, I won’t go back on my principles, not even for him. But dang it, this is unfortunate.
I give the driver my address and tell myself he’s not laughing at this situation, though I’m sure he heard everything that just happened and finds it humorous. How many situations like this has he witnessed? I wonder if I’m the only girl who’s ever turned down a famous musician.
We travel most of the way in silence with Dustin’s knee jogging up and down like he’s nervous or annoyed. It’s not until we reach my block that he asks, “Can I at least have your number? I’d love to see you again.”
Yeah, right. This is his version of letting me down easy, I bet. He doesn’t want me thinking he was only out for one thing. I might spread the word and give him a bad reputation while he’s in the middle of his big comeback.
“Sure. I’d love it if you did.”
And I would. I hope he calls.
I just doubt he will.