CHAPTER TEN
“Welp, there goes that.” I offer a shrug as I sit back in my chair with a latte in hand.
It was a late night, and I’m not used to being out late. Working late, sure. But being out and social and whatnot is something completely different.
In other words, I need caffeine. A sympathetic ear is nice, too, which is where my best friend comes in.
Hayley sighs, putting her chin in her hands. “Wow. What a night. Would you ever have guessed you’d do something like that? Turn down Dustin Grant?”
Okay, she could’ve chosen better words, but … “Have you completely forgotten who you’re talking to?”
We share a laugh over that, though my heart’s not in it. I still can’t believe I passed up an opportunity I’ll never have again.
“I bet he was pretty pissed,” she sighs, swirling the celery stalk in her Bloody Mary before taking a sip.
“Oh well. He can deal with it. Did you forget you’re my best friend and you’re supposed to be comforting me right now?”
“Of course I haven’t forgotten that, you dork.” She scowls, shaking her head. “I’m just saying, I almost wish I could’ve been there to see how he reacted. That’s my point. He probably didn’t know what to do.”
“He did seem sorta shocked.”
“I’m sure. Can you imagine how many girls he’s probably banged? Hundreds.”
“Ew.”
“But it’s probably true. Who knows how many STDs you avoided by turning him down?”
“Not while I’m eating.” As it is, my veggie omelet doesn’t look as appetizing as it looked before she reminded me of all the diseases Dustin might be carrying.
“I’m trying to help you feel better.”
“I think you’re feeling a little smug at how everything turned out.”
“Noooo.” But her eyes are twinkling.
“Hayley.”
“All right, all right.” She gets serious, arms folded on the table, leaning in. “You did the right thing. It’s not like you to fall into bed with just anybody even if it’s the gorgeous, amazing, love-of-your-life.”
“Wow. You’re making me feel so much better now. Thank you, best friend.” I’m starting to wish I’d ordered a boozy drink to help me manage the conflicting feelings I’m battling this morning.
“I can’t help it. Part of my job as your best friend is to rub your cute little nose in situations like this, where you passed up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“Oh my God. I’m gonna kill you.”
“Okay, okay. I’m finished. I swear.” But her lips are twitching as she goes back to her waffle.
“You think I should’ve gone with him?”
“No. I absolutely don’t.” She glances up at me. “One hundred percent no. You did the right thing for you. Not everybody would’ve stuck to their guns in that situation, but you did. And I expect nothing less from you by now.”
“Well, thanks for that.”
“You still sound bummed,” she points out before popping a piece of waffle into her waiting mouth.
“I am! Because that’s it. He’ll never call; he’ll never text. I’m sure he deleted my number the second I was out of the cab.”
“Do you honestly think he was lying to you about being a nice person? About liking you?”
“You don’t think so?”
“I love you, so of course I don’t think he was lying. I think you charmed him, the way you charm just about everybody.”
That makes me laugh. “Please. You’re just saying that.”
“If that’s what you wanna think.” She shrugs, throwing her hair over one shoulder. “But it’s true. I think he found you refreshing.”
“You weren’t even there.”
“You didn’t hang all over him, did you?”
“No.”
“You didn’t try to use him somehow, like scoring an expensive night out?”
“Of course not.”
“I’m sure he’s not used to that, and he probably really liked it. You treated him like a real person.”
“I did keep telling him how special it was to be with him though.”
“Probably just enough to make him feel like a big deal. From what you’re telling me, you did everything just right.
He felt flattered and important but not so important that you became just another girl.
Just one of many who are always trying to lock him down.
You stood out.” She’s wearing her killer smile by the time she’s finished, the one I’m sure will win over every jury she’ll ever be in front of.
Though it’s not convincing me right now. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see or hear how disappointed he was.”
“Forget him then.” She shrugs before picking up her drink. “He’s not worthy of you.”
“You’re serious? You’ve been drooling over him all week, flipping out that we were going to meet him, and now, he’s not worthy of me?”
“Anybody who’d brush you off because you didn’t want to sleep with them right after you met isn’t worthy of you. End of story.” She takes a sip of the drink before shrugging again. “I mean, I would have slept with him, but that’s just me.”
“What?” It comes out a little too loud, as usual. There will come a day when people start asking me to find somewhere else to eat and drink. I’m sure of it.
“What?” she counters, arms folded. “That’s just me. I would’ve done it. But you’re not that girl.”
“I can’t believe you.”
“What did I say?”
I have to laugh even though there’s nothing funny going on right now. “You just got done telling me I avoided a walking, talking STD, and now, you’re saying you would’ve slept with him?”
“I would’ve insisted on condoms, obviously.”
“So would I! What, do you think I’m that naive?”
“I was trying to make you feel better!”
“It didn’t work!”
“I know that now!”
We both sit there, breathing a little heavy, faces flushed.
“What are we even yelling about?” I finally ask.
“I don’t remember.” She starts laughing, which gets me going too.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, I swear.
If I were you, I would’ve gone through with it, if only because there’s no way I’d ever find myself in that situation again.
You know me. I don’t like to let opportunities pass me by. ”
“But I do?”
She’s making me feel worse by the second. I’m wondering why I even came out to brunch with her. This was supposed to be a sympathy brunch, a boost-my-confidence brunch. But here I am, a loser who likes letting opportunities pass her by.
“You don’t see things the way I do. There’s nothing wrong with that. You stayed true to yourself. That’s what matters most.”
Is she right? I guess so. I know I see it that way, but that doesn’t make me right.
“I guess it doesn’t matter anyway. I got plenty of ideas from him last night. I know the direction I want this to go in. I can always fill in the blanks with things I make up. It’s all good.”
It doesn’t feel so good. It feels awful. Because now that it’s the morning after and I’m thinking back, I wish I weren’t so stinking principled. I missed out on the chance to say I’d once slept with Dustin Grant.
Though, really, is that such a prize? Maybe back when I was a teenager, and since he’s a few years older than me, it would’ve been pretty illegal for us to hook up then.
By the time I reached eighteen, Crazy 4 You wasn’t a presence in my life anymore.
Or in anyone’s probably. Except for the boys in the group.
Now? “He’s just a person who used to be famous. Now that I think about him that way, it’s sort of sad. But it’s the truth. Nobody wants him for who he is now. Only who he used to be.”
“Oh, that’s good.” Hayley nods, wide-eyed. “I love that. You need to make sure that’s a big part of your book.”
“Thank you so much for your help.”
“Don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad.” I’m a little mad.
“Right. And we just met and I don’t know anything about you and I can’t read every twitch of every muscle in your face.”
“I just have to get over it, is all. I’m mad at myself, honestly.
Not at you. Who knows? He might not have brushed me off after we slept together.
I might’ve pulled out my expert sex moves and won him over.
I mean, that’s the sort of crap I write about, isn’t it?
I’m sure it must happen for somebody, somewhere. ”
“I love that you call it crap.”
“But I’m right, aren’t I? I could’ve stolen his heart through my ninja-level sex skills.”
“Since when do you have those?” She lifts a skeptical eyebrow.
“Um, since I started watching a lot of porn to inspire my writing. Obviously. I’ve learned a thing or two. Granted, I haven’t had a chance to use any of those skills, but that only means I’ll seriously blow the mind of the next guy I sleep with.”
Which, of course, is when our cute, young male server, who’s been trying to catch Hayley’s eye throughout our entire meal, just happens to clear his throat—right by my side.
“I was going to ask how everything’s going here.
” He sounds both confused and intrigued, and he’s not looking at Hayley anymore.
“Great,” I croak, staring across the table in hopes that Hayley will help me out of this.
Which, of course, she does not. “Interested?” she asks, gesturing to me. “She’s been studying and everything.”
“Just kidding!” I laugh while kicking her under the table.
Since I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a knife than look at him right now, I keep my eyes glued on Hayley until he goes away.
“He looked interested,” Hayley says with a smirk.
“I hate you so much. Do you and Matt get together and come up with ways to mess with me? Because that’s something he would’ve done.” I plunk my head down on my arms that are crossed over the table.
“I knew I liked him.” When I don’t smile, she sighs. “Would you relax? I’m trying to shake you out of this funk you put yourself in. Stop being so serious and dramatic and take your head off the table.”
“No,” I mumble.
“Kitty, you just said you have all you need for your book, which was the entire purpose of this little exercise. And now, you can say you made out with Dustin. In the back of a cab. Kitty, that’s hot.”
I raise my head a little. “It was pretty hot.”
“And I am extremely jealous.”
That lifts me a little more. “I mean, it’s not that I’m glad you’re jealous … but I’m not, not glad.”