Chapter Sixteen
Luca
“Hey, you do what you think is best for you, Brother,” I tell Damian as he explains to me that Soleil is now staying with him at the apartment.
His words let me know he cares about this girl.
Not sure if it’s because he feels like she needs saving, or because he’s fallen for her.
I hope for the latter. Damian has been alone for far too long, and all I want is for him to be happy, and I know Lauren would, too.
As I look across the property at the tree out in the distance, I know she would.
“Let’s plan to meet in two days and go over everything.”
“Sounds good, I’ll see you then.” The phone goes dead, showing Damian had hung up.
Weeks has been staying with us for about a month, and I’ve been able to take two other jobs in that time, not worrying about Rowan doing something stupid while I was away, and having peace of mind knowing that someone was at the house with her.
We added more cameras around the property, but haven’t caught anything since.
I found fresh footprints on the outskirts of the land, but it could also have been someone hunting. I’m still fully alert, either way, because I know I saw someone that night.
My meetup with Damian is to go over the jobs coming up next month.
This will be the first time he’ll have gone with me, and I want him to have all the knowledge he could need.
Every time I bring someone aboard, I feel like their life is in my hands.
It’s always a battle, because if I ever do lose someone, one of my employees, what the fuck would I do?
And I’m not meaning for the job, I mean mentally.
Having that hanging over my shoulders. I try not to think about it, but it’s something you have to think about. And it fucking sucks.
A knock sounds on my office door. “Yeah?”
Weeks walks in, and I can tell by his face that something is up. My body immediately goes ramrod straight. “What’s up?” My eyes track him as he makes his way to my desk.
“I have to head out for a few days. Something has come up, and it needs my attention.” His words are abrupt.
“Anything I can help with?” I ask sincerely.
His laugh is more of a huff. “You don’t kill women.”
Eyebrows raised, I turn my head. "What's going on?"
Sucking his teeth, his hand rubs his close-shaven head. “Baby mommas, they’re all fucking insane. I’ll be back as soon as possible, but I have to leave now.”
“Of course.” I stand to walk him out of the office. Hand on his back, “If you need anything, brother, just call. I may not kill women, but we know a man who does.” It’s a joke, but we both know Niko has no qualms about gender.
I watch the dust trail follow Weeks' wake as I stand on the stoop of the porch.
“Where’s he heading off to?” Rowan's scratchy voice comes from behind.
“He had some business to take care of; he’ll be back in a few days.” Turning around, I ask, “You, okay?”
I know she won't tell me the truth because her smile is forced. For the last month, she’s been in constant pain, crippling.
Most days she’s lying on the sofa with a heating pad on her stomach.
Others, she’s asleep in our room. I hate seeing her hurt, but she won’t let me help her.
I’ve offered to take her to the doctor or, hell, call one to the house, but she denies it at every chance.
Rowan turns to walk to the living room, but before I know it, she’s on the ground, out cold.
“Rowan!” My scream is unnatural to my ears as I fall to my knees, lifting her head from the hardwood floor, patting her cheek, but she isn’t stirring.
“Rowan. Baby, wake up.” And this time the slap is harder. I wince when my palm connects with her skin, but she finally stirs, moaning. Her body's immediate reaction is to sit up, but I don’t let her. Fear glazes over her eyes.
“Baby,” I say, pulling her to me. I fall on my ass, laying her head on my leg, pushing her hair out of her eyes.
Her blue eyes look up at me, and I watch as tears pour out.
Her sobs become hiccupped as I sit there petting her head, not knowing what to say.
I’m mad at her but also fucking worried.
She won’t let me take care of her, and now she’s twisted my arm.
“I’ll have a doctor come and check you out,” I tell her, not giving her the chance to debate with me. That is fucking over.
“No, I’m fine.” She tries to sit up but lays right back down on my leg.
“The hell you are. A month. One fucking month, Rowan, this has been going on, and now you pass out. If you won't take care of yourself, I’ll do it for you.”
“Umm.” She shuts her mouth.
“What?”
“It’s been going on way longer than a month, but just in the last month, it’s gotten worse. The pain.” She pauses, needing to take a deep breath. “This has been happening since that night. The pain hasn’t ever truly gone away. It was bearable, but now…not so much.”
My forehead draws up. And I know what she’s meaning, not having to elaborate any more.
Rowan closes her eyes as I wipe her face, drying her tears.
In one swoop, I have her in my arms, carrying her up the stairs, laying her on the bed, before I go and draw her a hot bath.
Once I’m happy on the temp, I walk back into the room, where she is now curled into a fetal position.
I handle her easily, removing her clothing from her shaking body, before carrying her into the bathroom.
Standing at the tub, I look at her, then at the floor. Saying fuck it, I step into the tub fully dressed, gently setting her in the warm water before I sit behind her, clothed.
“Luca,” she whispers.
I chuckle while pulling her back to my chest; the water continues running, my hands rubbing up and down her stomach.
“Why didn’t you tell me, baby?”
She shrugs. "I didn't want to admit that they did something to me…that's been affecting me since that night." It comes out so quietly that I want to fucking scream.
“Rowan, we need to know if you’re okay. We have to.
” I’m now worried, scared, but I won’t let her in on it.
Knowing the damage that can be caused by rape, the magnitude of their actions isn’t lost on me.
The damage her body endured, the weeks of her bleeding, not only from her vagina but rectum too.
Leaning my head back, taking a deep breath, I don’t loosen my hold on her.
“I’m having the doctor come. I want you checked. ”
“I…”
I don’t let her speak another word. “No, it’s happening.” I end the conversation right there. Kissing the top of her head, I lean up and turn off the water before trudging out of the bath, slopping wet. Stepping into the shower, I undress, leaving my clothes there, then put on dry ones.
“Relax and soak,” I tell her at the doorway before grabbing my phone and walking to the office.
The phone rings a few times before someone picks up and says, “Maggie.”
“Hey Maggie, it’s Luca. Are you free? I need a checkup on my girlfriend, Rowan…”
“What for, son?”
I bite my lip, not wanting to say, but knowing I need to.
“Rowan, my girlfriend, was brutally attacked by three men over a year ago. Since then, she’s been in constant pain, but the last month has been something totally different, she says.
Today, she passed out in front of me,” I spit out, needing the words to leave me.
“Okay. Send me your address and I can be there in a few hours.”
“Thank you.”
“It’ll cost five thousand,” she speaks nonchalantly.
“That’s fine. Just get here.” I hang up the phone. I don’t give a fuck how much it costs; I just need to know she’s okay.
Maggie has been the woman I’ve always worked with; she’s trusted and vetted. Her house calls come at a price and in silence, so her amount doesn’t make me blink twice.
Breathing in deeply, filling my lungs with the scent of wood cleaner, I sit in my chair as the images of Rowan lying on the ground, oblivious, wreaking havoc on my psyche, and it’s nothing I ever want to witness again. Still, my mind won’t stop thinking about it.
Spinning around, I face the window; my mind won't shut the hell up. I’m mad at her for not telling me.
Mad that she’s been in pain all this time.
And it hits me like a freight train; we’re not soft and easy, we’re frenetic and hard when we fuck.
And that makes my stomach sink, thinking about whether I caused her more pain just by wanting to be one with her.
Leaning back, my chair cries out in strain as I stare up at the ceiling, mulling over the last year.
It feels like these men, no matter if they’re dead and gone, will always have a way to haunt her.
And if I could, I would raise them from the dead and torture them repeatedly.
I’m spiraling inside when I hear the only lifesaver I have, her voice.
“Luca?”
Snapping out of my thoughts, I ease up and turn around.
Rowan stands in the middle of the office, her robe wet, her hair wet.
She looks beautiful just like this, as the sun shines through the window and highlights her, my own personal angel.
The only person to ever give me a reason, a reason other than to kill. A reason to really live and love.
“Come.” I pat my knee, and she smiles at me as she walks over.
“Where were you?” she asks as she sits down.
“Huh?” I push her wet hair behind her ear.
“I was standing there calling your name, but you were somewhere else, not in this office.” She stares me in my eyes as she makes herself more comfortable on my lap.
I lie. “I was thinking of all the shit I have to do. The next few trips, everything in between.” I kiss her forehead, needing the conversation to change.
“The doctor will be here in a few hours.”
Her body tenses when I say it.
“What?” I cock my head at her.
She tries to move, but I hold her to me. “Talk,” I grumble out to her.
“I’m scared.” She looks away from me, but I grab her chin, forcing her to look at me.
Her eyes are watery with unshed tears. "What if something is seriously wrong?" What if they did some damage to me? I don’t know if I can live with that or this pain. I’ve tried for so long to be quiet about it; maybe that’s the masochist in me that needs to feel the pain to know I’m still alive and here.
I don’t know.” She shrugs her shoulders, finally speaking out loud what she’s been thinking all this time.
“Baby, you’ll never know if you don’t get checked. What if it’s something super easy to fix? And you’ve stayed in pain for all this time. No matter what, I’m here,” I promise her, and hope she latches on to it, because I am.
She doesn’t speak, only nods her head.
I pull my phone off the desk and start doomscrolling for both of us, watching stupid TikToks, trying to put her mind onto something else.
Once my legs fall asleep, I decide we both need to eat.
“I’m going to run to get us some food before they get here. You want to ride?”
“No, I’ll stay and hibernate on the sofa until you come back.” She eases off me, but not before kissing me.
“I love you, Luca.”