Chapter Thirty-five #2
Out of the darkness, I spot a blurred, running shadow, and the barking starts. “Roxy!” I call her name, jumping on me with all her weight, licking me. I love on her.
“He brought her back for you,” Luca whispers in my ear, kissing my cheek.
I can feel Stephen's eyes on me as I sit, unsureness radiating off me. Surprised by learning he brought my girl home.
“Roxy and I have been friends for some time now.” He bellows with laughter.
“Luca,” Stephen points to him with his beer, “let me in on everything.” His smile isn't forced, yet it appears tight. His face dawns with a bit of sadness when he speaks those words. And I know exactly what he meant by them. He knows my story. I look to the ground, diverting my gaze. When I look back up, he’s still staring, but his gaze is unfocused; he’s lost in a memory, and I wonder if he’s thinking of Lauren.
“Don’t do that. Rowan, I hate we had to meet on these terms, but I’m glad to meet you,” he tells me truthfully. But the way he looks at me, his words hold a different meaning: ‘I’m glad you’re here.’
I smile at him, not knowing what to say. Everything seems so irrelevant compared to what I want to say.
Stephen sits up a bit more, taking a drink of his beer, before setting it on the table.
In the silence, the glass being placed on the glass table sounds so loud.
Rubbing his hands tighter, “I’ve been here.
I didn’t want to interfere with Luca and what he had going on.
I stayed, watched, and waited; I was able to stop what you both didn’t know was here… ”
And Luca’s words from the room replay in my head, ‘They found us.’ I can’t help the question that escapes. “The fire pit?”
He looks at Luca and then at me, before I see Luca nod his head, giving him the go-ahead to tell me. “I can’t be sure, but I suspect it was rigged. The one time I had to be called away, and something happened.” His words come out clipped as if he’s mad at himself.
I know my face is full of confusion. “Why hide?” I place my hand on Luca’s thigh.
“It’s complicated. Call it a father’s sin, because I thought I knew what my son needed, and I was very wrong.
I thought keeping my distance, watching, would be best for him.
What he needed was me here this whole time, to know I was here.
Not to be alone… Well, until you, that is.
But I came at the right time.” He finally smiles widely, and I see that same tooth that Luca has, appearing like it did that night at the gas station.
He doesn’t have to say it; he thought Luca would have been better off without him in his life. His own pain marred his reality for him and his only child, now. His son.
Luca’s hand squeezes mine, as if he had heard what I thought and agreed with me.
“Well, Stephen, I hope you stay around.” And it’s the truth, I hope he does for Luca.
“And next time, don’t take the expensive steaks.
” His laugh meets my ears, thankful for the sound.
Before I enter the house, I look back. “Stephen,” I can see his body maneuver to see me in the porch light, “the glove?”
“Roxy likes to take things that aren’t hers.” He chuckles. As I remember, the SLS stitched into them. Stephen Stonewall.
“What’s your middle name?” I ask curiously.
Both he and Luca speak in unison, “Luca.”
“Thank you.” My thank you is for more than answering the question. It’s for all he’s done. Leaving him and Stephen alone once again so they can catch up. I didn’t have to elaborate on why I was thanking him; we all three knew.
The need to shower is my only objective.
Forgoing food, ignoring my rumbling stomach, I head upstairs to our bathroom, ripping my clothes off before I even pass the threshold.
I step into the shower before the hot water has time to heat, standing under the sprayer, just needing to get myself clean of the remnants of last night as my body shakes from the shock of the coldness.
My peach scented shampoo fills the enclosed shower as I scrub my skin…not hard, like I normally would. I take my time, being easy, taking gentle care. No need for me to scrub dirtiness off me, because I cleansed my soul when I put a bullet into David's head.
Last night’s images flip through my mind.
How close I truly was to leaving Luca alone in this world.
My stomach drops with the realization that I didn’t want to think about.
When my ears start to ring, my heart pounds, my hand flies out to the wet tile wall, steadying my body, using it as leverage to ease myself onto the shower floor.
The hot water is now raining down on me, as tears escape, mixing with the water, I sob.
“Get it out now, and never again,” I whisper to myself, because once I step out of this shower, David, TUSB, Briggs, I’m leaving it all here to swirl down the drain, into the pipes.
Looking down at my tattoo that’s still covered, I bring my knees to my chest, letting myself feel it all, all the heaviness of the past year and a half.
I’m different from the girl in the tomb; where she was scared and lost, I’m now courageous and found…
even if that courage makes me do stupid shit.
I know what I want and am not scared to go after it.
All the crimson blood I bled led me to my lifeline, to my fate… Luca. My heart slows to a steady beat with just the thought of him, the one who gave me reason, showed me what love was, and never forsaken me. He is my forever.
Standing, I watch my sins washaway rebirthing a woman who came out of the fire and ashes, with new hope and the will to live.