Chapter 18
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
A fter I clock off at the office for the day, I decide I need to unwind. After Hank’s barely concealed proposal, I have been tense all day, like a coiled spring ready to burst apart with the slightest touch.
I send Luther a quick text message:
Hey, it’s Jesse. From the coffee shop. I ruined your pants? I wondered if you wanted to get a drink tonight?
I hit send, and then reread the text, and groan out loud.
OMG, I just reread that I’m not a total creep, I promise you. Totes understand if you don’t want that drink though
I tap my foot on the subway floor furiously, knee bouncing. Am I coming on too strong? I mean, I just feel like I can’t really ignore the weird happenstance of our earlier encounter, so surely?—
LOL you are not a creep, you are adorable
Sure, I’d love to get a drink. I know just the place.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I check out the address he sent me, surprised to find it’s just a few blocks away from my apartment.
I get inside, wash up, put on my nicest pants and a cute patterned shirt, and contemplate accessorizing with a bowtie, but think better of it. I don’t know much about this place, but I can’t imagine dorky, preppy is the vibe.
I decide I can’t hang around and wait for our meet-up time, so I head over early. I walk into the venue, finding it filled with round tables, a large bar off to the side, and at the far end, a small stage filled with musical instruments, dominated by a grand piano.
No one is playing at the moment, so the music is just whatever is coming over the sound system, and it’s upbeat and energetic, but oddly relaxing despite the tempo.
I grab a drink and settle in at a small table for two waiting for Luther. As my knee bounces under the table, I figure I need to do something to take my mind off of things.
I pull out a notebook and look over some of the stories and beginnings of ideas for what I would do with Excelsior characters, should I ever get the chance.
I’ve got dozens of these notebooks, some of them dating way back to my teens. I’d be making notes and essentially fan fiction about my favorite characters, creating stories and whole events for them, and even sketching up my own character ideas. I’d do it alone in my room, surrounded by freshly read comics, or sometimes with Benjie…
I haven’t thought about him in a long time, but he’s been on my mind quite a bit lately. I’d say I don’t know why, but I suspect I do. After all, I ruined everything with him all those years ago by stupid decision alone. Can’t do that again.
I tap my pen along to the music, looking over old notes and sketches, when I suddenly become aware of the quality of the music has changed. I look around me and realize people are now on the stage, playing the instruments live. The music feels more present now, as the sound permeates the whole room, the beat of the drum reverberating through us, the sound of the horned instruments cutting through in high crescendos and crashing low in deep dives at a whim.
“It’s quite the place, isn’t it?”
I turn around to see Luther, a beaming smile on his face, revealing that cute little gap in his teeth. This time, he’s wearing a simple black t-shirt that is tight to his body, stretching across his pecs. The hems of the sleeves seem to strain against his arms, and I realize that the suit from earlier was doing nothing but hide just how strong his physique is.
“Luther, hi! This place is amazing! I can’t believe I never heard of it before.”
Luther pulls out a chair and takes a seat next to me, in one swift motion gesturing towards the bar and smiling. I glance over and the barmaid smiles back at him, nodding.
“Yeah, it doesn’t surprise me. The club fell on hard times a few years back, especially after the pandemic. But between the work me and the community did to attract new investment, it’s really coming alive again.”
“You did this?” I ask, gesturing to the place around us.
“Oh, hell no. I’m just the latest in a line of patrons that loved this place and wanted to give back. I just organized a fundraiser or two, wrote a couple stories?—”
“Ignore him,” comes a new voice, and I look over my shoulder to see the barmaid coming towards us with two drinks: my own order from earlier, and a small glass with amber liquid swirling around it, topped with a cocktail stick and single large ice cube. She hands that to Luther and pops my own in front of me. “Without Luther here, this place would be an empty shell, not a sound to be heard again. He’s our hero here.”
“Ah, stop, Cindy. Keep this up, you’re going to make me blush in front of my new…friend, here.” Luther bats away her compliments, and she winks at him before heading back towards the bar.
I look at him, as he settles back in his chair, a cool, relaxed energy that belies a quiet strength and confidence that I sorely lack. I can’t help but feel a little jealous of him.
“Seems you have an admirer there,” I smile.
“Ah, Cindy is just selling a big game. All I did was remind everyone of the importance of this place. Of its history. It was the community coming together that really saved it.”
We talk like this for a while, Luther occasionally gesturing for more drinks, but not many. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself like I did with Arran, and he’s got an early meeting tomorrow too, so we’re taking it easy.
He tells me about growing up around here, and I’m surprised how open he is about the bad and the good. He turns it back to me, and I fill him on my own childhood, the moving around, the lack of contact a lot of the time.
“That must have been hard,” he frowns.
“Yeah, it wasn’t easy. But I found my community in college, some great friends and people who got me, you know.”
“It’s the most important thing, finding your tribe,” he nods slowly. “Was this comics folk, or queer folk?”
“Little of both,” I smile, tilting my head. “Are you out then? You mentioned you’re going into politics, that doesn’t seem like the friendliest place to be openly gay?”
Luther laughs, a booming sound that I feel in my chest. “It sure ain’t! But yeah, I’m out. I figure, it’s the goddamn 21st Century, I am not going to go back in the closet just to make some people feel more comfortable. They’ll have to deal with me, all of me, and I can make that work.”
He leans back again, taking a sip of his drink.
“That’s very inspiring,” I say, earnestly.
“Ah, I dunno. I just don’t really see the point in being anything but true to yourself and those around you. There’s too much false fronts in politics these days, people can see them for what they are, but now they see it everywhere. True honesty is something startlingly new to them. And it’s something they deserve,” Luther raises his glass to me.
“Here, here,” I say, tapping my glass to his.
The conversation turns lighter, talking about the films we love again, and our own bad dates and bad luck in love. I don’t tell him everything, or all my dates, but it’s so easy to just be open and relaxed with him. He has a knack for putting you at ease.
“Hm. Okay, Jesse, as much as I am loving spending time with you, I really do have to call it an early night. Sorry to cut and run,” he says, leaning forward in his chair.
“No, not at all! Thank you for agreeing to come out with me on such short notice. I really needed to just…get away from everything for a while.” I lean in too, our faces now just inches apart.
“Well, I am glad to be of help, Jesse. I would love to keep you from spinning off into the stratosphere any time you need it.”
“Yeah. I’d love to see you again too,” I say, truthfully meaning it. No matter what happens, which direction I go, I’d love to keep Luther in my life. He just carries the energy I wish I had in me so much, it’d be nice to have it around.
He pushes closer, his lips just starting to part, and I follow suit, catching his lips in mine hungrily. He pulls back, and smiles.
“It’s good to have people in our life who keep us grounded. If they’re cute as all heck too, all the better,” Luther laughs, before bouncing forward to give me a peck on the cheek. Standing, he says good night and heads out into the lights of the city at night.
I lean back, smiling a tremulous smile. I like Luther, true, but something he said. The people who keep us grounded, and having them in our life. It made me flash back to Cal for a second, and for all the positive energy Luther was giving me, a tension slipped back in for a second.
But it wasn’t like the tension from before, when I left work. Instead, it was a tension of wondering if something big is gone from your life now, and not really knowing the answer. It’s the tension caused by absence, and I realize I miss Cal.
The fire of anger is still there, but it’s gone down. Not quite embers, but nowhere near the raging inferno I felt just after our last conversation.
But with how we left things, would he ever want to even see me again?
I leave, walking the few short blocks towards home, kicking at the streetwalk as I go, hands deep in my pockets and my my mind deep in thought.