9. Willow
Willow
Beck’s schedule seems to vary throughout the week, so some days he doesn’t need me until later, and some days he needs me at the ass-crack of dawn. Today was an ass-crack of dawn day, and I am hanging on by a thread. Sawyer kept me up watching movies and talking until almost midnight.
Beck chuckled when he saw me and thrust a cup of coffee into my hand as soon as I got to his house. Lucky for me, Jade was asleep when I got there, and she blessedly gave me almost two hours to doze on the couch until she finally made an appearance.
We had breakfast and did some rock painting outside before she asked if we could go horseback riding. I messaged Beck to see if he had any available horses, and lucky for us, he did.
So now, we’re on the way to the stables to spend some time riding horses.
Beck is chatting with someone when we get there, but that doesn’t stop Jade from running up to him and interrupting.
She can recognize her dad from a mile away, and I realize that I can now, too.
It’s very hard not to notice Beck with his strong shoulders and back and the perfect-fitting jeans he wears every day.
The real kicker is the backward baseball hat that looks worn and dated but still somehow makes him look sexy.
He turns when he hears Jade’s little voice yell his name and just manages to catch her as she jumps into his arms. I love that she’s always excited to see him.
No matter how long it’s been, she’s jumping into her dad’s arms. I envy her a little bit.
I’d do anything to have one more moment to jump into my dad’s arms.
“You ready to take a ride?” he asks her.
“Yes!” She pumps her fist into the air.
“Mr. Brooks is gonna hang out at the stables for me while we’re gone.” It’s then that I realize that the man Beck was talking to was Brooks. I was so focused on Beck that I forgot someone else was standing there. “I’ve got our horses all ready for us.”
I stay in my spot a few paces away and say, “I’ll wait here for you guys.” I gesture toward the bench.
Beck finally looks in my direction. “I don’t think so. You’re coming with.”
“I don’t want to intrude. I think Jade wants to spend time with just you.”
Beck sighs. “How many times do I have to tell you? You are not an intrusion. We like you being here.”
“It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a horse,” I say, hesitantly.
“Good thing Beck is going with you. He’s the best teacher in all of Georgia,” Brooks adds.
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Beck says with a laugh. “But I’ll help you, don’t worry. Plus, ridin’ a horse is like ridin’ a bike. Muscle memory.”
“Alright. If you insist.”
“I insist,” he says firmly.
Beck grabs my hand and pulls me along with him.
I look down at our interlaced fingers. He’s holding my hand.
Beck is holding my hand. I look back up just in time to see Brooks cock an eyebrow in my direction.
He sees it too. Brooks looks between the two of us, smiles, and walks off shaking his head.
I wonder what he must think. Heck, I wonder what I’m supposed to think.
Beck doesn’t drop my hand until we get to the horses he’s got ready.
When he lets go of my hand, I look at it for a moment, trying to figure out if I should read into this or not.
Surely he didn’t mean anything by it, though, right?
After all, he keeps saying I’m family. Maybe that’s what he would do with anyone in his family?
I don’t have time to dwell on the unexpected hand-holding because it’s time for me to mount this horse.
“Alright, Willow. Cookie is going to be yours.” Beck walks me over to a beautiful white horse with gray spots. I grab onto the saddle and hoist myself up. It’s been awhile since I’ve done this, so I’m glad I don’t embarrass myself.
“Jade is going to ride in between us,” Beck says. I nod and let him lead Jade’s horse next to mine before he gets on his own horse.
The trail we go on is an easy one. I know I’ve done it before with Sawyer years ago.
But just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s any less beautiful.
I’m convinced there’s not a single part of Moonlight Ranch that isn’t absolutely beautiful.
The trail leads us around one of the ponds on the property and then along the tree line near some woods, which gives us a much-needed respite from the sun.
“See, I knew you’d remember how to ride,” Beck says, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, I guess it really hasn’t been that long.”
“Like three years, right?” he asks.
“Something like that.”
He smiles at me from over Jade’s head. “You know, it’s good to have you back in town. We missed you. I missed you.”
I know he probably means it in a friendly way, but I can’t help the way my stomach flips when he says it.
I had assumed when I left that no one would really care besides Sawyer, of course.
And maybe Beck didn’t care at the time. When I left, he was deep in the trenches with a three-year-old.
But now that I’m back, he seems to be seeing me a little differently.
I truly believe my time away was a good thing.
So far, I’ve actually been enjoying my time back, which I never thought would be the case.
“It’s good to be back.” I almost tell him that I missed him too, but I don’t want to sound too desperate. Especially if I’m misunderstanding the meaning behind his words.
Jade takes over the conversation as she always does.
I love hearing her little voice. And I love watching Beck and her together even more.
He never stops smiling when she’s around.
I know this because I can’t stop myself from looking at him.
He’s always been attractive, but he looks even better now.
He’s grown up just like I have. I never expected myself to be attracted to older guys.
I always thought it was strange when Macy would point out older men or make comments about my brother.
The last part is still strange, but I’m starting to understand why she leans that way.
The ride ends too quickly for my liking. If not for the sunburn forming on my arms, I could stay out here all day, but unfortunately, Beck still has a job to do, and Jade is asking for a snack, so it’s time for us to go.
Beck helps Jade off her horse first before coming over to me and holding his hand out to me. I stare at it for a split second before I put my hand in his so he can help me down.
“Thanks for bringing her up here. Seeing you both made my day a hundred times better,” he tells me. I’m sure he just means seeing Jade, but he’s being nice and including me.
“Yeah, no problem. It was fun.”
He gives me a knowing look. “Was it actually fun, or are you just saying that to spare my feelings?”
I laugh. “No, it was. My life has been pretty go-go-go since starting college, so it was nice to just be out in nature with you guys. It’s therapeutic.”
“Well, good. We’ll have to do it again sometime.”
I nod and try to keep my cool, even though my stomach is fluttering like crazy. “I’d like that.”
One thing Jade loves is a dance party. Any type of dance.
Any type of music. But especially Disney music.
So, when I run out of things to do for the day, I connect my phone to the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen, and we blast the music as loud as we can while dancing around the house.
Not only does it keep her distracted for a bit, but it gets some of her excess energy out.
I thought riding horses with Beck earlier would make her tired, but it seems to have only rejuvenated her.
We are in such a zone that we don’t even hear the front door open. We don’t notice Beck kick his boots off or put his lunch bag down. We don’t know there’s another soul in the house with us until he jumps in between us. Jade and I both shriek in surprise, which makes us come to a screeching halt.
Beck laughs. “I didn’t mean to scare y’all. I just wanted to join in on the fun.”
“Maybe you should announce yourself next time,” I tell him, trying to calm my racing heart. Unfortunately, now I can’t tell if it’s racing from dancing, from being scared, or from Beck being so close to me.
“I thought you heard me, but I guess that’s impossible when the music is loud enough that the neighbors can hear it.”
“You don’t have any neighbors,” I yell, without bothering to turn the music down.
“Exactly.”
I playfully slap his shoulder. His strong, very muscled shoulder.
“Well, since you’re home, you’ve got to join us now,” I tell him.
“Yeah, come on, Daddy!” Jade yells.
We each grab one of his hands and pull him in with us to dance.
And by dance, I really mean just jump up and down.
He holds our hands tightly as he starts copying our moves.
The three of us laugh as we jump around in a circle.
It’s ridiculous how much fun this is. It’s like I’m channeling my inner child, which I feel like we all need every once in awhile. Fortunately, I get to do it all summer.
The song eventually changes to a slower one. Usually, Jade makes me skip these songs, but not today. Beck pulls her arm up and twirls her. She giggles the whole time. Then he looks at me and raises my arm up. I twirl under our hands, and I swear, I almost giggle as well.
Then he pulls us both toward him and sways us to the music. It’s like a group slow dance. I wasn’t expecting it, but I also am not upset about it. Being this close to Beck makes my body feel like it’s in overdrive.
I look up at him from under my lashes to see him watching me. His eyes dip to my lips, and my breath hitches. Is he going to kiss me? Do I want him to kiss me? That’s a dumb question. Of course, I do. But that’s a big line for us to cross.
His face moves an inch closer to mine. My eyes widen when I realize this might actually happen. I might get to feel what Beck’s lips are like. But then he winces, and I hear Jade say, “Oops, sorry.”
We both look down to see that she stepped on his foot. Reality comes crashing back, and I take a step away from them. What am I doing? This is Beck. I’m here to watch his daughter. I can’t be thinking about kissing him, much less actually doing it. And in front of his daughter?
I take a deep breath and try to look anywhere but his confused face. “Well, I should be going. I’ll see you both in the morning.”
I quickly grab my bag, say goodbye to Jade, and leave before Beck has a chance to say anything else. Once I’m in my car, I take a deep breath to calm myself down. I’ve been around Beck my entire life and never had this sort of reaction to him. It feels so different, and yet it also feels right.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about these feelings, but right now, I need to get as far away from this house as I can.
I almost kissed him. It would’ve ruined everything. I’m such an idiot.