10. Beck
Beck
JUNE
My parents have been begging me to spend time with Jade. Since I’ll be kid-free, I planned a last-minute guys’ night out with Sawyer and Brooks at Roadside, the one and only bar in the city limits of Blue Haven.
After I drop Jade off at her grandparents’ for the night, I head straight to Sawyer’s house to pick him up.
It’s stupid how excited I get at the prospect of seeing Willow.
She’s been keeping her distance from me since our almost kiss the other night at my house.
I don’t know what I was thinking other than she looked so beautiful, her smile lighting up the room, and when I pulled her close, she smelled so sweet. And her lips looked so…
No. No, I’ve got to stop thinking about it. Especially when I’m going to be spending the entire night with her brother.
Both of their cars are in the driveway when I pull up to the house.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I’m realizing now that he usually comes to my place.
It tends to be easier since I have Jade, but it makes me feel like an awful friend.
He always goes out of his way for me, and lately I feel like I’ve done nothing for him.
It looks like he’s done a lot of landscaping in his front yard. It looks so good, and I had no idea he even did it. Years ago, that’s the type of thing we would’ve done together.
I knock quickly before I walk right in. It’s not until I’m in and see Willow in the kitchen that I think maybe I should’ve waited for someone to let me in. She always knocks at my place, even though I wouldn’t care if she just walked in.
“Hey,” I say to announce myself. She turns toward me and smiles.
“Hey, you. Boys’ night out, huh?” She stirs something on the stove.
“Yeah, something like that. Been awhile since I’ve gone out.”
“That’s what Sawyer said, too. He’s shown me three different outfit options. It’s almost like y’all are going on a first date rather than the bar.”
I laugh. “You’ll understand when you’re older. It’s hard to find time to hang out with your friends.”
“I don’t doubt it. I see how hard you both work,” she says.
She leans back against the counter and crosses her arms. The movement grabs my attention, and my eyes inadvertently fall to her chest. I can see the outline of her tits in the thin white T-shirt she’s wearing, and she’s very obviously braless.
Damn. I swear, every time I think I can have a normal conversation with her, she does something to turn me on. It’s not her fault, though. Not at all. She’s just standing like a normal person, and I’m over here drooling over her.
“Hey, man.” Sawyer’s voice pulls me out of the trance Willow put me under. I quickly look away, but not before I see her smirk. She knows exactly where I was looking. Dammit.
“Hey. You ready?” I ask, needing to get out of here as quickly as possible.
“Yep.” He turns to Willow. “You sure you’re going to be ok here by yourself?”
She rolls her eyes. “Yes, Dad. I’ll be fine.”
“Just making sure. You can come with us if you don’t want to be alone,” he offers, and my body goes rigid.
I cannot be around her and Sawyer at the same time.
There is no way he wouldn’t catch me watching her.
Whenever she’s around, I can’t keep my eyes off her.
I don’t want to want her. Crossing a line like that with her would destroy my friendship with Sawyer, which I would never want.
I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.
“No, I’m not crashing boys’ night,” she says, and I feel my shoulders relax. “I’m happy to have a night to myself. And if you bring a woman home, you better keep it quiet.” She points her sauce-covered spoon at Sawyer.
He chuckles. “I don’t plan on bringing anyone home except Beck.”
“I can be quiet, I promise,” I tell them, and we all laugh.
Sawyer directs me out of the house, but not before I spare one last glance at Willow. It makes me feel like shit that I would rather spend the evening with her than out at the bar with my best friend.
Roadside is a short drive from Sawyer’s place, and by the time we get there, it’s already busy. It’s to be expected on a Saturday night. Well, any night really. Not much else to do in a small town. But weekends are always worse.
“Brooks is meeting us here in a few,” I tell Sawyer as we manage to find a small table in the back corner just as another group is leaving.
We order our beers, and before they can even be delivered, Brooks is walking through the door with his signature cowboy hat.
It’s always funny to me to see Brooks away from the ranch.
He has such an aura of confidence about him, but he’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.
Which is likely why the town rumor mill quickly passed over the fact that he’s now engaged to his son’s ex-girlfriend.
I wave him over after he orders his beer from the bar. He looks happier than usual. Like he’s excited about something. Of course, I have to call him out on it. “You good, man? You look like you’re about to burst into song or some shit.”
He laughs. “Just got some really good news this week.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I ask.
He looks around the table as if to make sure no one nearby could overhear. Then he leans in and says, “Aspen’s pregnant.”
“What?” I exclaim. “That’s awesome.” I’ve known that Brooks wanted another kid, but I also knew he didn’t want it to end in a disaster like with Zach and Zach’s mom. But Aspen is awesome, and they’re so good together. I’m happy that he’s getting this second chance.
“Thanks. It’s a little early, so don’t run around town announcing it. But we went to the doctor yesterday to confirm, and everything looks great.”
Sawyer claps Brooks on the shoulder. “Congrats, man.”
I lift my freshly delivered beer up in a toast. “Cheers to you and Aspen.”
We all clink our bottles together and take a drink.
“It’ll be strange having a baby on the ranch again,” he says.
I chuckle. “Yeah, but don’t worry, Jade will be all over that. Your baby will always be entertained.”
“I don’t doubt that. How’s the summer going with her?” Brooks asks. We haven’t talked much other than some business things recently, so I haven’t updated him.
“Good. Really good. I love having her here, and she loves having Willow to hang out with.”
“Yeah? How’s that going?” Brooks gives me a knowing look before he glances slightly in Sawyer’s direction. Shit. Did I make my attraction to her too obvious?
I swallow another gulp of my beer before answering. “Good. Willow’s great with Jade.”
“He’s keeping Willow busy,” Sawyer adds. “Early mornings. Late nights. But it’s good for her. She said she wanted some extra money.”
“Hmm. You paying her well, Beck?” Brooks asks. There’s a glint in his eye, and I know he’s teasing me. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, hoping Sawyer doesn’t catch on to anything.
“Yeah, I think so. She hasn’t complained yet.” I narrow my eyes at him. He better not be trying to get me in trouble. Technically speaking, I haven’t done anything wrong.
“Hey, I’ll be right back. Gonna go say hey to Hailey.” Sawyer stands and nods his head in the direction of a woman I recognize from around town.
Once he’s gone, Brooks leans in. “So how’s it really going with Willow?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Beck. I know you too well. I saw the way you looked at her the other day at the stables. You held her hand.”
Shit. I was hoping he didn’t see. I don’t know why I did that other than I was so excited to see her that day. “I-I don’t know, ok? I feel myself being drawn to her even when I don’t want to. It’s fucked up. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Why is it fucked up? Because she’s Sawyer’s sister?”
“Yeah. That. And I practically grew up with her. She’s only twenty-one, for fucks sake.”
“You gotta remember that she’s been gone, though. She was away at school for what? Three years? I’m sure she’s grown up since she left here and is a different person,” he says.
“She feels like a different person, but also the same.”
“Maybe that’s why you feel drawn to her. You’re comfortable with her.”
I rub my hand down my face. “Yeah, maybe. I don’t know. I just know Sawyer would kill me if he found out how I’m feeling.”
Brooks looks over his shoulder in Sawyer’s direction. I know my friend well enough to know that he would not be happy if I crossed any lines with Willow.
“Maybe just keep it to yourself for now,” Brooks says, turning back to me. “Nothing has happened, right? And she’s only here for the summer. Just don’t do anything stupid while she’s here. Let her finish school, and if you still feel this way when she’s done, then maybe you talk to Sawyer.”
He’s right, I know he’s right. Willow is young and has a lot of life to live.
I don’t think I could handle having her and then losing her.
She deserves the opportunity to live her dreams. Going to Italy.
Getting her degree. Choosing her own place to live and her own career wherever she wants, and not just because I’m here in Blue Haven.
Yeah, Brooks is right. I need to keep myself in check.
Sawyer makes his way back to our table. I try to act calm and hope my face doesn’t show that I was just thinking about his sister.
“So, Hailey has some friends with her. They’re gonna come over in a bit. Maybe you can find someone you like?” He’s looking directly in my direction.
I groan. “Man, you know I’m not looking to date right now.” Especially when my head is all fucked up. I’m obviously not in love or anything, but my attention is heavily skewed toward Willow.
“I’m not asking you to be in a committed relationship, but it wouldn’t hurt to spend some time with a woman. I mean, when was the last time you… you know?”
I roll my eyes, not wanting to answer. It’s been an embarrassingly long time. “None of your business.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Alright, I’ll be nice.” I’d never be an asshole to a woman, but I will also make it clear that I’m not looking for anything.
“That’s all I’m asking for.”
By the time we finish our first round of beers, Hailey and her three friends appear at our table.
The problem with small towns is that everyone knows everyone.
Sawyer and I went to school with Hailey, but I think she was a year behind us, so I didn’t know her well.
Sawyer has had an on-and-off thing with her since she got divorced a few years ago.
I recognize two of her friends, so the third must be semi-new to town.
Or at least new enough that I haven’t seen or heard of her.
Brooks and I attempt to make small talk with Hailey’s friends.
Brooks has no stake in the game since everyone knows he’s taken, so he acts as a wingman, hyping me up to women I’m not interested in.
Sawyer jumps in occasionally, but he spends most of his time making heart eyes at Hailey.
I switch to water after my second beer because I’m too old now to be slinging back beers like I used to. Brooks does the same, so I don’t feel too lame.
Eventually, the ladies get tired of talking, and they want to go dance.
I’ve never been huge on line dancing, but I know enough to get by.
I keep my movements small to keep to myself as much as possible.
Sawyer, on the other hand, has his hands all over Hailey the entire time.
I’m happy for my friend, but it makes one of the other women glance in my direction.
I think she said her name was Caroline. She looks at my hands and then smiles at me.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s a beautiful woman.
In any other circumstance, I would potentially be interested in her.
But it feels wrong to lead her on when I know my head is somewhere else, even if it shouldn’t be.
After a few dances, I make my way back to where Brooks is at our table. Sawyer stays on the dance floor.
“Having fun?” Brooks asks me once I sit next to him.
“I think I’m getting too old for this.”
He chuckles. “You’re only thirty-three.”
“Feels like I’m fifty.”
“I know the feeling,” he says.
Brooks and I finish one more water before Sawyer heads in our direction. “Hey, I’m gonna head out with Hailey. You good to get home?”
I chuckle because I’ve had way less to drink than he has. “Are you good to get home? Neither one of you is sober.” I know Hailey had multiple drinks when she was at our table.
“Yeah, yeah. One of her friends is the DD. She’s gonna drop us at Hailey’s place.”
“Alright. Be safe, man.”
He nods and claps Brooks on the shoulder before disappearing into the crowd again.
“You ready to head out?” I ask Brooks. I’ve got a quiet house and bed calling my name.
“Let’s do it. I know Aspen is waiting up for me anyway.”
“You’ve got yourself a good one with her,” I tell him.
“Don’t I know it. You’ll find the right woman for you one day, Beck.”
“I’m not in any rush.” It’s the truth, but I think it might be because I haven’t found the right person. But maybe if I do… I don’t know. Things might change.
We pay our tabs, and I pick up Sawyer’s drinks. It’s the least I can do since I’ve been lusting after his sister.
I was excited to get home while I was out, but once I’m here, surrounded by the silence, I’m not as excited. What I wouldn’t do to come home to a dance party with my two favorite girls right about now.