14. Beck
Beck
Tell me why Willow told me she was taking her friend to Roadside tonight, and I hastily threw together a night out with Sawyer.
Is it dangerous for me to be with Sawyer when I’m here solely to keep an eye on his sister?
Yes. But it would’ve looked strange if I were here by myself.
Harper would’ve asked too many questions, and Brooks would’ve been having too much fun at my expense.
So, Sawyer, it is.
I’ll just have to be discreet. It’s not like I’m going to do anything. I’m just here to keep a watchful eye. Make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.
Who am I kidding? I’m here to see if anyone hits on her tonight. I’ve already seen my stable hands eyeing her up when she’s stopped by with Jade.
That’s where the idiocy comes in again. What would I do if someone did hit on her?
Absolutely fucking nothing. Because I drew a line in the sand and I’m not trying to cross it.
I’ll have to sit here and watch her talk to someone, all while making sure Sawyer doesn’t notice that I’m seething inside. This is going to be absolute torture.
And yet, seeing her looking so beautiful makes it all worth it.
“Ah, look who it is. Good to see you again, Beck,” Willow’s friend says, breaking Willow and me from our locked eyes. Her tone indicates that she knows I’m more than just Willow’s employer for the summer.
“You too. Hope you had a good day at the pool,” I say.
“We did,” Willow answers. “Thanks again for lunch.”
“Wow, you get paid and get free lunch?” Sawyer asks. “Lucky. I wish my boss did that.”
“You’re self-employed,” Willow says.
“Exactly.”
“You’re an idiot.”
I chuckle at their exchange. I remember when she was just starting her teenage years, there were several occasions where the two of them were screaming at each other in an attempt to understand their frustration and grief.
I’m glad they’ve moved past that. Both of them have become the best versions of themselves, at least in my opinion, and I think they’ll only get better from here.
“Ok, well, we’re gonna go dance. Try not to ruin our night,” Willow says, grabbing Macy’s hand and heading toward the dance floor.
Sawyer laughs. “I swear, that kid.”
Before I can stop myself, I say, “She’s not really a kid.” It feels important for me to say that out loud.
“I know she’s technically an adult. But she’ll always be a kid to us,” Sawyer says.
To us.
Not to me. I swallow down the words, not wanting to start anything with him tonight. Not when I know it’s not going to matter in the grand scheme of things. Willow is leaving, and I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to mess up her life.
“Yeah,” I agree quietly.
“Should we get a drink?” he asks but doesn’t wait for me to answer before making his way to the bar.
Drinks in hand, we find a decent spot to sit and people-watch.
It also gives me a perfect view of Willow.
Her head is thrown back in laughter, and I can’t help but smile.
Her joy is contagious. Ever since she’s been back, I haven’t seen her be upset once.
She’s always smiling, always positive. But I guess she’s always kind of been like that.
Everything life has thrown at her, she’s always come out on top. Smiling. Living. Being herself.
I admire her. I wish I could be like that. Maybe at one time I was. But growing up is not always easy, and sometimes it’s hard to find the silver lining again.
Sawyer starts telling me about his week. I listen, keeping my head angled in a way that I can still see Willow. It looks like she’s trying to teach Macy a line dance, but every few steps, Willow winces, so I can only assume Macy is stepping on her toes.
All eyes are on them.
Ok, maybe not all eyes, but enough to make me sure that someone is going to shoot their shot. I’m proven right not even one song later when my own stable hand, Ace, approaches Willow.
That little shit. I should’ve warned him off her the first time he asked me about her, but I was trying to suppress what I was feeling and blew him off.
I watch as he reintroduces himself to her and then falls into step next to them. It’s hard to talk over the music, but Ace tries his hardest. Willow smiles and nods. She has to lean in to answer him a few times, and I stiffen when I notice his hand wrap around her waist.
I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth and remind myself that it’s none of my business. This is what I wanted. For her to live her life and not be hung up on me.
But the longer his hand stays on her hip, the more upset I get.
Why is he touching her?
Why is she letting him?
Did she come here tonight hoping to hook up with someone?
One thing I know for sure is that I shouldn’t have come here tonight.
I don’t know how much time passes before they finally walk off the dance floor, Macy heading toward the bar with Ace and Willow to the back hall where the bathrooms are.
Someone Sawyer knows has joined our table, so I’m able to quickly excuse myself and follow Willow down the hall. I realize from an outside perspective, I might look like a fucking creep, but I need to talk to her.
I wait patiently in the hall outside the bathroom and get more than a few looks from women going in and out of the bathroom. I simply nod my head and attempt to look like I’m not being fucking weird.
Finally, Willow walks out.
“Beck?” I grab her wrist and lead her down the hall toward the back door.
Once we’re outside, she asks, “Is something wrong?”
Yes. Something is wrong. Me feeling this way is wrong.
I turn back to look at her. “Why are you letting him touch you?”
Her brows crinkle in confusion. “What? Who?”
“Ace. He had his hand on your waist.”
Her face relaxes in realization. “I didn’t realize you were paying so much attention to me.”
“I always pay attention to you.” Even if I don’t want to. Even when I know I shouldn’t.
A smile tugs at her mouth. “So you’re jealous?”
“No.” Yes.
“No, I’m pretty sure this is textbook jealousy right here, Beck. You saw another man put his hand on my waist, and you got upset because you want to put your hand on my waist.”
“I…” Yeah, that’s exactly what I want.
She doesn’t wait for me to offer any other explanation. She grabs my hand and pulls me toward her. She places my hand on the strip of skin showing between her skirt and her top. “Touch me, Beck.”
I move to pull my hand away, but she tugs me back closer. She looks me in the eyes and repeats, “Touch me. No one can see. It’s just you and me.”
I’m hesitant at first, knowing I shouldn’t be doing this. But her skin is so soft. Just like I’d imagined it to be. I shift my hand slightly enough to squeeze her side. Then I walk us backward until her back is pressed up against the building.
With shaky fingers, I trail the skin just above the top of her skirt. I move slowly, not wanting to rush this in case it’s the only time I ever get to do it. Willow shivers as I drag a finger under her belly button.
My fingers stop at the hem of her shirt. I look up into her eyes and slide my hand under her shirt.
Her lips part, and I feel her breath hitch when I get to her bra.
I stop there, waiting for her to give me permission to continue.
After a slight nod, I move my hand under her bra, feeling her breasts for the first time.
I rub my thumb over her nipple. It hardens from my touch.
God, what I wouldn’t do to put my mouth around it right now.
I can’t do that, though. I can’t even look down to see what I’m touching. I keep my eyes locked on Willow’s and let my fingers do the exploring because I know I shouldn’t be looking at her body, and I know if I do look, I won’t be able to stop.
My cock hardens against the zipper of my jeans as I put my other hand up her shirt, gently massaging her other breast.
Willow tilts her head back slightly to show she enjoys my touch. Her pleasure emboldens me, and I move one hand down her body toward the bottom of her skirt. I slip my hand up the denim until I’m rubbing on the thin piece of fabric blocking me from her pussy. Her underwear is soaked.
My cock is begging to be released. It would be so easy to slip inside her. To pull my cock out and push all the way in until she’s moaning my name.
As if reading my thoughts, she whispers, “Beck.”
I pause. Her voice pulls me out of the trance her body had me in. I drop my hands and take a step away.
“Beck?” This time my name is more of a question than a moan.
“Shit. Shit! What am I doing?” I rub my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends in frustration.
Willow fixes her shirt before she steps up to me, pulling my hands away from my hair. “Beck, stop.”
“I can’t do this, Willow. I can’t touch you like that.”
“You can, Beck. I wanted it.”
“That doesn’t matter. We can’t do this. I can’t do this.” I can’t do this because I know what it would mean for my friendship with her brother, but also because I know it’ll only make me want more. And I can’t have more.
“Beck, you know I’m not going to run off and tell my brother, right? Whatever happens between us can stay between us.”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Willow. I can’t.”
She sighs. “That’s a shame. I guess I’ll just have to take care of myself later then.”
I swallow, my mind immediately going to images of Willow pleasuring herself. As much as I’d love to be the one doing it, I know I can’t. And I’d rather her touch herself than find someone else to do it. That might be my last straw.
We stand frozen, staring at each other for what feels like forever before she sighs again and shakes her head, turning around and walking back inside.
“Fuck.” I kick the side of the building, which doesn’t feel great even with my boots on. What the hell was I thinking, bringing her out here and doing that? I should’ve just let her do her thing and minded my own business. But no, I had to get possessive of a woman that isn’t even mine.
Once I calm myself down enough, I walk back inside and find my table. Sawyer is still talking to someone, so I doubt he even noticed how long I was gone.