14. Beck #2
I immediately scan the room for Willow. She’s back on the dance floor, new drink in hand, with Macy on one side of her and Ace on the other. He says something to her, and she laughs and puts her hand on his chest.
She’s doing it on purpose. She knows I’m watching her, and she knows it’s going to make me jealous.
I grab my beer and chug the rest of it. I know I’m going to need another to get through this night.
I’ve lost count of how many times I ventured to the bar tonight. At some point, Sawyer took notice and switched to water to make sure one of us would be able to drive home.
I should’ve left hours ago.
I should’ve left when Willow took Ace’s hand. I should’ve left when they started dancing together. I definitely should’ve left when I watched her type her phone number into his phone.
But I didn’t. I sat there watching it happen, feeling my insides twist up.
For some stupid reason, I couldn’t leave until I knew Willow was leaving. Maybe some part of me wanted to wait to see if she decided to leave with him. The thought of that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Or maybe that’s from all the beer.
Eventually, Sawyer decides when it’s time for us to leave.
“Alright, big guy. I think it’s time to head home.”
“It’s not that late,” I counter, even though I know I need to go home.
“It’s pretty late, and you’re pretty trashed, man.
You doing ok? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you drink like this.
” Yeah, I can’t even remember the last time.
Maybe when Gemma and I ended things? Drinking isn’t fun anymore when you have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and go to work with a pounding headache.
“I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind, I guess.”
He nods as if he understands, and I know he does. When he lost his parents, he spiraled a little bit. I let him do it but stayed by his side the entire time to make sure it didn’t go too far. Now he’s returning the favor. Because this is what friends do.
“You know you can talk to me,” he says. If he only knew how much I absolutely cannot talk to him about this. How could I possibly explain that the thought of his sister being with any man except for me makes it feel like my heart is ripping in two?
“I’m good, man. But thank you.”
“Alright, I’m gonna go get Willow and Macy. They’re just as wasted as you.”
My shoulders immediately relax. Of course, Sawyer wouldn’t let Willow go home with Ace. I should’ve thought of that.
I watch him walk toward the girls and say something to them. Willow nods while Macy looks at him like he hung the moon. I wonder if that’s how I look at Willow. If I’m that obvious.
Ace makes a move and leans in to give Willow a hug. She hugs him back, and he kisses the side of her head. His lips were just on her body.
Yeah, he’s getting fired.
The three of them walk over to me, but my eyes stay focused—well, as focused as they can be with all the alcohol running through my system—on Willow. Her arm is linked with Macy as they giggle. She’s surrounded by people as they push through the crowd, but she’s the only one I see.
“Alright, let’s get outta here,” Sawyer tells me.
I stand from my seat and wobble a little bit. Willow reaches out to steady me. Macy releases Willow’s arm so Willow can walk next to me while Macy nudges herself up to Sawyer.
“You ok?” Willow asks, leaning in to me.
“’M fine.”
She raises her eyebrow in question. “You sure? Your jealousy is showing.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”
“Yeah, but I think you kinda like it,” she says.
“Yeah, unfortunately, I do.”
She giggles and links her arm through mine. Years ago, it would’ve been nothing for her to do this and for us to walk arm in arm. Now it feels inappropriate. It feels like people are watching us even though I don’t think anyone actually is.
We follow Sawyer and Macy out of Roadside and to his truck. I’ll have Brooks bring me here in the morning to get my truck.
“Shotgun!” Macy calls, running up the passenger door.
I guess that leaves Willow and me in the back.
We keep our distance once we’re in the truck.
I don’t want Sawyer to get suspicious of anything.
But once we head off in the direction of the ranch, I notice Macy is talking his ear off.
He’s not focused on anything but the road and trying to listen to her.
So, in a move fueled by several beers and false confidence, I take Willow’s hand and interlace her fingers with mine.
She doesn’t look at me, but I can see her smile.
I squeeze her hand once, and she squeezes back.
It feels strange holding hands with someone in the backseat of my friend’s truck. It’s like I’m a teenager again and not a thirty-three-year-old man with a child, a house, and a career.
The ride to my house goes way too quickly for my liking because I know I’m the only one getting out at this stop.
“Do you need any help getting in and getting to bed?” Macy asks, looking over the seat with a knowing smirk.
As much as I want to say yes, knowing that Willow would volunteer, I shake my head instead. “No, I think I can manage.”
Not only because it’s the right thing to do, but also because I’m so drunk I’d probably end up embarrassing myself if I did try anything with her. I don’t trust myself alone with Willow right now.
Willow releases my hand when I open my door.
“I’ll see you and Jade at the festival tomorrow, right?” she asks.
“We’ll be there,” I tell her.
I thank Sawyer for the ride home before stumbling to my front door. He doesn’t leave until he sees me go inside. I barely make it to my couch before I crash on it and fall right to sleep.