28. Beck
Beck
DECEMBER
“Daddy, can we get our Christmas tree today?” Jade asks while I pour a cup of coffee. I just woke up, and she’s ready to get the day started. Can’t even have a minute to wake up around here.
“That sounds like a great idea,” I say, wanting to make her happy.
“Mommy put up our fake tree last weekend, but I want a real tree for your house!”
I chuckle. Of course she wants the messier, more high-maintenance tree at my house. Gives me more stuff to do. But I’m not gonna say no to my girl. “We’ll get whatever you want, princess.”
Her eyes go wide. “Whatever I want?”
I give her a look. “Within reason.”
She scrunches her nose at me, not liking that answer. “Can I have pancakes for breakfast?”
“That sounds reasonable.”
“With Christmas sprinkles!”
“Yes, your majesty.” She makes me buy different sprinkles for each holiday so her food can be festive. It’s silly, but she likes it.
While I start mixing up the pancakes, Jade asks, “Daddy, are you sad?”
The spoon in my hand stops moving, and I look over at her. “Why do you think I’m sad?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. You smile a lot. But you were really happy when Willow was here. I feel like you miss her.”
“Well, I guess I do miss her. But I don’t think I’m sad. How could I be sad when I’ve got you to cheer me up?”
She smiles at that. “Ok! We’re gonna have tons of fun today!”
“I don’t doubt it one bit. Don’t worry about me, ok, princess? I promise I’m all good.”
I do miss Willow, but talking to her every day makes the distance a little easier. I can’t pretend I’m not excited to see her in person again though. She’s coming home next week for Christmas break, and I’m counting down the days.
I finish up the pancakes and make some scrambled eggs before we get dressed to head out for tree shopping.
We spend an exorbitant amount of time looking at every single tree, trying to make sure it’s the right one.
Jade has specific criteria for what she wants, but she won’t tell me what it is, so I can’t even help her narrow down the options.
She’s becoming more and more independent every day.
I love it, but I also hate it. She’s growing up too fast.
Finally, after at least an hour and a half, she stops and says, “This is it.”
The tree in front of us is big and fluffy on the front, but the back looks a little worse for wear. Which is probably why it’s in the very back of the lot.
“You’re sure?” I ask. “The back…”
“I’m sure. No one else is gonna pick it because the back looks empty. But its front is still beautiful, so it should have the chance to be decorated. I don’t want it to be sad that it didn’t get picked.”
I chuckle to myself. Of course, my girl is worried about the feelings of a tree. “Alright then. I guess this is our tree.”
I tell the person working which one we want, and we get it wrapped up and into the truck.
On the way home, we stop at the store for a box of hot chocolate and some marshmallows because, according to Jade, we can’t possibly decorate for Christmas without a mug of hot chocolate.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her it’s not even that cold outside, but I already know she doesn’t care one bit about the temperature.
The sounds of some Christmas song bellow out of the truck speakers as we drive onto Moonlight Ranch property and down toward my house. I put the truck in park, but as I reach for the door handle, I see movement from my front porch.
My first thought is to protect Jade. Blue Haven has a pretty low crime rate, but it’s not non-existent.
“Jade, stay here.”
“What? Why?” she asks, looking around.
I don’t answer her as I get out of the truck and start walking toward the house. I’m ready to confront whoever or whatever is waiting on my front porch.
Then I see her.
Willow takes a step away from one of the posts, giving me a clear view of her. For a second, I wonder if I’m seeing things. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her in person. Our calls and video chats have been getting me through the last five months, but I’ve been dying to see her.
But then she says, “Hey,” and I know I’m not imagining her. I pick up my pace until I’m basically jogging to her.
She meets me halfway, jumping into my outstretched arms and wrapping her legs around my waist. Our lips connect without a second thought.
I’m kissing Willow again.
She’s here.
She’s home.
She’s mine.
I don’t pull my mouth away from hers until I hear Jade’s voice yell, “Willow!”
She apparently did not listen to my instructions to stay in the truck, but I guess I can’t blame her. She missed Willow too.
Reluctantly, I let Willow down, and she opens her arms up to Jade, who is running at full speed toward her.
“Jadey! I missed you!”
The two of them hug it out while I smile like a goofball watching my two favorite people.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming back until next week?
” I ask. We had it all planned. I was going to drive to Atlanta to pick her up from the airport and everything.
I hadn’t mentioned it to Jade yet though.
I didn’t want her to get her hopes up in case…
well, in case Willow changed her mind. But luckily, she didn’t, and she’s here.
“That was the plan, but one of my last exams got moved up so I changed my flight to come home earlier. I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, consider me surprised.”
“You’re just in time, Willow. We’re going to decorate our tree today!” Jade tells her.
Willow smiles but she looks at me like she wants to make sure it’s ok if she joins. As if I would tell her no. Everything is better with Willow.
“I don’t want to crash your party…” she says hesitantly.
“You’re not. We want you here, right, Dad?” Jade answers.
“Right. You’re not going anywhere.” I pull her toward me and give her another kiss. “Let’s get your stuff inside.”
We all walk up the steps, and I grab her two suitcases and carry them into the house before rolling them back to my room. I know she’s not here permanently, but for the time she is, I’m keeping her close.
Willow helps me get the tree off the truck, and then she makes hot chocolate with Jade.
I get the tree set up in the stand and grab the boxes of Christmas decor from the attic.
I don’t have as much as most people probably do, but I’ve acquired quite a bit over the years.
Especially with Jade getting older. She wants my house to be just as decorated as her mom’s house, which means buying more decorations every season.
“Ok, what should we start with?” Willow asks, handing me a mug.
“The tree! Daddy needs to put the lights on first,” Jade answers. She digs through one of the boxes, pulling out a strand of multi colored lights. Let’s hope they still work.
We spend the rest of the afternoon decorating the tree and getting what limited other decorations I have set up. It feels like Willow never left. She moves so comfortably around the house. She and Jade talk about school and Italy and Jade’s new friends and the soccer team she was on this fall.
I love it so much. It’s the best day I’ve had since Willow left in August. But it scares the hell out of me because I know she’s leaving again.
She’s not done with school, and our deal was that we wouldn’t make any decisions about us until she was graduated.
It’s the right thing to do, even if I hate it.
I manage to push the thought of her leaving again out of my mind until Jade decides to bring up the topic at dinner.
“Willow, are you my daddy’s girlfriend now?” she asks.
Willow’s eyes go wide. “I-um…”
Jade looks at me. “Daddy, have you not asked her to be your girlfriend yet?”
I chuckle at her side eye. “It’s a little more complicated than that, kiddo.”
“Why? You guys kissed. On the lips. I saw it. That means you like each other.”
“Yes, I do like Willow. A lot. But she’s not done with college yet, and we don’t want to rush anything until she knows what she wants to do after she graduates. She might not live in Blue Haven, which would make it hard for us.”
Jade looks back at Willow, concern written all over her face. “You’ll come back, won’t you, Willow?”
“Of course I will.” Willow doesn’t even hesitate.
She’s told me time and time again that she wants us to be together.
I want nothing more than that, too, but I also want to make sure she does what’s best for her.
“But I think your dad wants to make sure I finish college first, and I respect that. Only a few more months.”
Jade sighs. “Alright. I guess we can wait a few more months.”
“It’ll go by quicker than you think,” Willow assures her. I hope she’s right.
We finish up our dinner and then start Jade’s bedtime routine, which ends with all of us squished in Jade’s bed while Willow reads a story.
Jade falls asleep quickly, exhausted from the excitement of the day.
Once Jade’s bedroom door is shut, I grab Willow’s hand.
“Please tell me you’re staying here.”
“Sawyer doesn’t know I’m home yet, so I was hoping…”
“Thank god.”
Sawyer is a conversation we can have another time.
He and I haven’t spoken since the night at Roadside.
The only updates I get on him are from Willow, who will occasionally bring him up during our phone calls.
I know their relationship is strained right now, but I’m glad he didn’t completely cut her off like he did to me.
Tonight though…? Tonight is all about me and Willow making up for lost time.