Chapter 20
20
LYLA
“Lyly, can you come with me to get some water?” Crew’s sweet voice reaches my ears, and at the same moment, he tugs on my hand. I’m taking a break from our activity for the day to catch my breath because going around the small track so many times made me dizzy.
A cursory glance around shows me Aidan is on the phone. When I catch his eye, he uses his thumbs to gesture a texting motion and points to me. Taking the hint, I check my phone to see a couple of texts from him waiting for me.
Aidan
Sorry, angel. This is my agent, so I have to take it. Can you hang with Crew for a few minutes?
I promise I’ll be back to kick your ass on the track as soon as possible ??
Him threatening to kick my ass shouldn’t make me blush, so tell me why my cheeks are hotter than the surface of the sun?
Turning back to Crew, I smile and grab his hand. “Of course I can, Crew-bug.” I noticed a concession stand on the way in, so I lead us both to it, grateful there don’t seem to be many people milling about.
There is a man and a little girl in front of us in line, and when the girl notices Crew, her face widens into a huge, gap-toothed grin. “Crew, hi! Daddy, look, it’s Crew!”
The man turns around, and his eyes widen when he sees me holding Crew’s hand. I watch his gaze dart to my clearly visible left hand, and when he sees my lack of a ring, he smiles.
He’s classically handsome, with dark brown hair and eyes that glitter in the midday sun, but something about his gaze makes me nervous. It’s completely opposite to how I felt when I met Aidan.
Holding his hand out to me, his smile turns into a smirk. “Hey, I’m Colton. We’ve seen Crew and his dad around here plenty of times, but I know for a fact I would remember a gorgeous face like yours. Are you Crew’s mom?”
That nervous feeling turns to discomfort when I shake his hand and he tightens his grip, holding on just a bit too long to be friendly.
Still wanting to be polite because he hasn’t done anything outwardly threatening, I offer a small smile in return. “No, I’m not Crew’s mom, but I am his nanny.” Crew tugs on my hand, and I’m shocked to see his eyes watering, so I quickly excuse us.
Only Colton grips my bicep before I can go. “I hope this isn’t too forward, but could I possibly ask for your number? I’d love to take you out sometime.”
I fight to keep my smile from turning to a grimac e as I extricate myself as politely as possible from his grip. “I’m sorry, but I actually have a boyfriend. If you’ll excuse me, we really do need to be going.”
I hustle Crew to an abandoned table tucked away in a small alcove around the corner and sit down, helping him onto the seat next to me. Big crocodile tears cascade down his cheeks as he looks at me, and I gape.
“Crew-bug!” I pull him into my arms and pet his hair in the motion I know soothes him. “What’s the matter?”
He sniffles, burying his face in my neck as his arms twine around my neck. “Why can’t you be my mommy?”
It takes every ounce of willpower not to let the shock show on my face at his question, but I do pull him tighter against me. When I don’t say anything, he keeps going.
“All of my friends have Mommy’s and Daddy’s, and you sleep at our house, and take care of me and Daddy. And I love you. So why can’t you be my mommy?”
My heart shatters with his quiet, raspy words. Tears spring to my eyes faster than they ever have before, and I pull back just slightly so I can see the tear tracks running down Crew’s pink cheeks. “Crew…”
I feel like I’m walking a tightrope made of fishing wire. One wrong word, and I could set him up for heartbreak if Aidan and I don’t work out. Not to mention, it’s not my place to tell Crew anything, especially when I don’t really know what the heck is going on between me and his dad.
With a sigh, I stroke my fingers through his soft, wavy hair. “Anybody would be lucky to be your Mom, Crew-bug. You’re the coolest kid ever, and you make every day so much fun.”
Aidan’s concerned face appears in front of us, and I decide that my next words are as much for him as they are for hi s son. “I really hope I get to be a Mommy someday, sweetie. Especially to somebody as smart and kind as you. But for now, being your nanny is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. Okay?”
He perks up with a small smile at my words and throws his deceptively strong arms around my neck, squeezing so tight I have to remind him to let me breathe.
Aidan finally approaches, his eyes a little glassy, and drops down to the bench next to us with a soft smile as he runs his large hand over his son’s back.
“Hey, you two. I was wondering where y’all ran off to.” His gaze roams over where Crew is snuggled into my arms and the glossiness increases a fraction, just shy of actual tears gathering on his lower lashes. “I’m pretty tired. What do you say we head home and have a movie night? We can get pizza?”
At the mere mention of a movie night, Crew gets a second wind and hops off my lap to do hot laps around the small table. “Yes, a sleepover! Daddy, can we do another fort? Pleeease ? I promise I’ll help Lyly clean it all up tomorrow!”
The handsome man next to me snickers at his son with a fond smile, raking a hand through his messy hair. “Of course we can, raptor. And I think we should just leave the fort up, since you like it so much.”
Crew stops to stare at his father in awe. “Really? We can leave it up all the time?”
Aidan glances at me for confirmation, but I just shrug with a smile. It’s not my house.
“We sure can, raptor. Now, let’s get a move on so we can swing by Joe’s and get some pizza before they get busy. ”
As we’re making our way to the truck, I lean into my boss just the slightest bit and lower my voice, keeping my words just for him. “You’re a really good dad, Aidan. I don’t know many parents who would willingly let their six-year-old indefinitely take over their living room with a blanket fort just to make them happy.”
He tosses an arm over my shoulders but keeps his eyes on Crew as he answers me. “I did it for you, too, angel. I saw the way your eyes lit up whenever y’all were in the fort. If it makes the two most important people in my life happy, then who gives a hoot if it’s a little messy?”
I melt into a puddle on the cement at his sweet words. “The two most important people, huh?”
Aidan peeks at me from the corner of his eyes with a smirk. “Yep. Sometime during the last five weeks, this sweet woman I hired as a nanny wormed her way into my heart. A place no other woman has been before.” He grabs my hand and pulls me to stop next to the passenger door of his truck.
Just before I go to climb in, he rests a hand on my hip and leans down to murmur next to my ear. “And if I have it my way, a place no other woman but her will ever be again.” Checking on Crew, who’s happily chattering away in the backseat, he smacks my ass before lifting me into the passenger seat, earning a squeak from me.
His smirk is sinful and promises wicked things but his next words knock me off kilter. He picks up the seatbelt, reaches across me to fasten it, and takes the opportunity to nip at my ear. “Unless, of course, that sweet woman of mine lets me knock her up, and we have a daughter.”
This man is insane. Absolutely off his damn rocker. We’ve barely known each other a month, and here he is talking about wanting to knock me up .
Goddamnit. Why does that turn me on? It’s the ‘Daddy’ thing all over again.
Maybe that’s it. I’ve dreamed of being a mom since I was a little girl, so maybe seeing Aidan being such an amazing dad is triggering both my daddy issues and my desire to be a parent and rolling them all into one big amalgamation of confusing attraction. It’s probably the same thing for him. Just biological impulses triggered by seeing me care for his son.
The fact that we’ve now had unprotected sex should freak me out, but I trust Aidan. He’s proven time and time again that I can rely on him for just about anything. Even so, I’m still not sure I’m ready to take that final leap into a relationship with him. There’s too much up in the air with Sebastian, and this case the FBI is supposedly building against the Pennington family.
I don’t even realize I’ve zoned out until a soft hand on my shoulder startles me out of my thoughts, and I see Aidan staring at me, concern darkening his pale blue irises. The car is off, and we’re parked in the center spot of the three-car garage. He always parks here so I can park in the spot closest to the door with the SUV.
“Hey, gorgeous. You okay? You checked out again.”
Feeling guilty for worrying him, my smile feels more like a grimace as I lay my hand over top of his. “I’m fine, just thinking.”
He nods in understanding, his eyes tracking over my face, trying to detect any hint that I’m not okay. “Lyla, I think?—”
“Daddy! Lyly! Hurry up, I wanna watch Tinker Bell !” Crew’s voice interrupts whatever Aidan was about to say, and I breathe a sigh of relief. At least until I notice him track the movement and narrow his eyes .
“We need to have a conversation soon, Lyla. I know you’re worried about things with your ex, but if that’s the only thing holding you back, it’s a nonissue. There’s an entire team of guys willing and able to help us at the drop of a hat if it comes down to that, and from the sounds of it, Copeland already has things well in hand on the legal end.”
His sigh is loud in the quiet of the truck’s cab, and guilt slithers through my belly at the disappointment on his face. “But if there’s something else, another reason you aren’t ready to give us a chance beyond sex, then I need to know now before I get more invested, before Crew sees something he shouldn’t and gets his hopes up even more than they already are. Because that little boy in there is in love with you, and losing you would devastate him just as much, if not more , than it would devastate me.”
“Our original deal still stands, Ly. If you don’t want this, that’s okay. No harm, no foul. You can stay on for Crew, and I’ll be completely professional. We can still be friends if you’re open to it. Or I can help you find another job, either with someone on the team or another family who’ll be almost as grateful to have you as we have been. The ball is in your court, sugar.”
Without waiting for a response, he gets out of the truck and heads into the house, his face instantly transforming the second he walks through the door. From this angle, I can see how his cheeks bunch with his wide grin and the little crinkles in the corners of his eyes prove his smile is genuine.
Aidan has a point. I need to figure out where my head is at and what I want before any of us fall deeper into this family dynamic we’ve blended into so seamlessly. Choosi ng to remain in my seat for just a bit longer, I pull out my phone and text Wren.
Me
Hey, you busy? I could use one of your famous heart-to-heart chats right about now
Wrenny
Never too busy for you, Lyla-boo. Text or call?
Flashing a quick look around the cavernous garage, it seems like the boys are still inside, so I respond by asking her to call me, and she does not even thirty seconds later.
“What’s gotcha down, girlypop?” Wren’s peppy voice soothes some of my jagged edges, and I let out a long sigh that makes her chuckle. “That bad, huh?”
I shake my head even though she can’t see me and reach over to open my door so the breeze from the open garage door can cool my flushed cheeks. “It’s not bad per se… but… how did you know you were ready to make things official with Rhodes?”
After a few minutes of silence, she hums quietly, but I don’t rush her. One thing I love about Wren is that she always gives you her full attention and is thoughtful with her answers.
“Well, the situation with us was different. We’d been friends for so long, and even though I married his teammate and moved away, there were always feelings there. They just got put on hold for a while. We jumped into things really fast because our history made the transition of going from friends to more feel as easy as breathing.”
I slump down in my seat, dejection taking root in my chest. Rhodes and Wren were almost a decade in the making . My history with Aidan is five weeks of sleeping down the hall from him and some hot sex.
Wren’s voice interrupts my pity party. “But Lyla, sometimes you just know. In some cases, especially when there’s a child involved, things move faster than polite society might consider proper or ‘normal.’”
The emphasis around the word normal creates air quotes that are practically palpable in the air, and I find myself snickering. Even when she’s not trying to, Wren has a way of making everything feel a little less heavy. The woman is a ray of freaking sunshine, and sometimes I need that.
“I really like him, Wrenny. And I’ve completely fallen in love with Crew. I’m terrified that things won’t work out with Aidan, and we’ll hurt Crew.”
“Is Crew the only one you’re worried about getting hurt?”
I go to answer, but she interrupts me. “Really think about it, Ly. You escaped your ex, went to therapy, and did the work to heal, but you’re only twenty-three. And this is only your second serious relationship. It’s natural to be scared. But I also know you’ve said on multiple occasions your dream is to be a mom. Seeing you fall into that role with Crew won’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows you. And Aidan has never been like this with a woman before.”
“So yes, it’s okay to be scared. But you’ve been through more in twenty-three years than most people go through in a lifetime. I say fuck being proper and grab hold of both of those boys and don’t let go.”
Her words hit their mark, so I’m only a little bit surprised to find tears trailing down my cheeks. “So you really don’t think this is a bad idea? Even knowing what you know about the situation with Sebastian?”
Wren snorts, and I hear masculine chuckling in the background. I groan. “For the love of God, please tell me y’all at least have clothes on.”
The silence on the other end of the phone is answer enough, and I fake a gag.
Their combined laughter has me rolling my eyes and fighting a smile. Whenever Wren and Rhodes are home together, they’re rarely clothed. I learned that the hard way last year and now before I’ll enter their house, I send a preemptive text and ring the doorbell. Usually a few times, just to be safe.
“Sorry, Lyla. But full disclosure? We’ve been betting on this since before you moved in.” Rhodes’s words are completely unsurprising. If there’s one thing the those two are known for besides their inability to keep their hands off each other, it’s their bets.
I am curious, though. “Who won?”
Wren snickers, giving me my answer. “I told Rhodes y’all would be in love in less than three months.”
I choke on my own spit and launch into a violent coughing fit. “We’re not in love , Wren. Jesus. It’s been a month.”
She scoffs. “Whatever you say, Taylor.”
Oh, shit. She only ever calls me Taylor when she’s in PR mode.
“Go tell your man how you feel and remember what I told you. Time means nothing, and fuck being proper.”
A full-blown laugh finally makes its way out of my throat, and I shake my head. “Right. Fuck being proper. Love y’all. See you at the game next weekend?”
“You know it. Love you, Ly. ”
We hang up, and for the first time in weeks, I feel centered. Wren’s words grounded me and made me feel like I’m not doing anything wrong by wanting Aidan this soon.
I might not ever be completely ready to make the jump into a new relationship after my experience with Sebastian, but I know there’s nobody else in the world I would rather take a chance on than Aidan and Crew.