Chapter 21
21
AIDA N
Lyla walks into the living room with a serene smile on her pretty face and a relaxed air to her that’s been absent for most of our time together. Not to say she’s uptight, because she’s not at all . Her stress levels have just been obvious since our relationship progressed past friends and into the “more” category.
This calm countenance, however, makes me nervous. She was zoned out the entire drive home from the fun park, and I could see the panic building behind those gorgeous eyes, but that’s part of why I said what I did.
I’ll wait for her as long as she needs me to, but I also need to know if she’s all in or not, so I can take myself out of the headspace where I’m calling her mine.
She stops in the wide doorway that separates the mudroom from the kitchen, moving toward us slowly. Her grin spreads the closer she gets, but the only thing I can focus on is the way her hair swishes around her hips as she walks.
I can’t say I’ve ever been turned on by someone’s hair before , but I’m pretty sure Lyla could just breathe in my direction, and I’d pop a boner.
“Are we sleeping in the fort tonight, boys?”
Crew pops his head up from where he’d been arranging pillows in front of the couch as a back rest. Whereas the fort he made with Ly a few weeks ago was just big enough to fit their small frames comfortably, the one he and I are building makes that one look like a dollhouse.
Alaskan King sheets are spread out and rigged up with fishing wire I snagged from our gear on the back porch and twin top sheets that Crew refuses to use are clipped to wire as well to form an enclosed space facing the large portable movie screen I brought up from the theater room.
Movie nights have always been my favorite way to spend my downtime. It was one of the only times my piece of shit father would shut up and leave me be for a few hours. First, I shared the tradition with my brother, and then after I was drafted with Copeland, and now with Crew, so nearly every room in my house is equipped with a high-quality projector on the ceiling for times just like these.
I look her way nervously and beckon her closer, taking her tiny hand in mine to help her into the mountain of blankets my son has assembled. I try not to focus on how right her hand feels linked with mine, but it’s nearly impossible when it’s just another in a long line of things that feel right with this woman.
“Raptor and I were thinking it would be nice to have our movie night here and then just sleep downstairs. This is my last free week before the season opener, and some qualit y fam—” My eyes widen when I realize what just came out of my mouth, and I cough before finishing my thought, hoping Lyla didn’t notice my little slip-up calling this family time. “Some quality time with y’all to get my head on straight for another busy season.”
If she noticed me sticking my foot in my mouth, she’s polite enough not to say anything. Instead, she plops herself down next to Crew and smiles at him, running her hand over his head. “Did you already pick our movie, Crew-bug?”
He nods emphatically, and I do my damndest to focus on his words and not the way Lyla so effortlessly shows my son affection. “I did! Daddy said it could be anything I want.”
She laughs, shaking her head with a sidelong glance my way. “He did, huh? And does that mean we’re watching Tinker Bell again?”
“No, I wanna watch Tarzan tonight.”
Lyla’s eyebrows reach her hairline, and I can understand why. Crew’s been on this Tinker Bell kick for months and hasn’t wanted to watch anything else since she came to live with us, so the sudden switch-up is jarring.
My son goes uncharacteristically quiet, curling in on himself in a way that has me nearly lurching forward with concern. But when his meek voice hits my ears, I can’t stop the flood of moisture that assaults my vision.
“Nana Kaci says Tarzan’s mommy has to leave, but then he gets a new mommy that loves him a lot, and it makes him really happy. Maybe if I watch the movie, I can see how he got a mommy, and I can do it, too.”
I clear my throat several times, but my voice is still choked when I try to redirect him. “Alright, raptor, why don’t you go get washed up, and then we’ll eat dinner before we start the movie.”
He’s back to his normal perky self as he sprints up the stairs, but in spite of the high ceilings of our living room, I feel like the room is closing in on me. Tears sting my eyes, and I mutter a husky “excuse me” before I hightail it out of there and into the first room I find, slamming the door.
I’m only alone for a few seconds before the door is being pushed open, and when the scent of cherries hits me, I nearly groan. I don’t need her seeing me like this. When I’m on the brink of a meltdown over a comment my six-year-old probably won’t even remember tomorrow.
Lyla doesn’t say a thing, instead wrapping her delicate arms around my waist and squeezing as tight as she can. Her head only reaches my chest, but when she takes one of my hands and places it over her heart, I realize she’s attempting her own version of co-regulation.
The sweet gesture finally releases the torrent of emotion I’ve been shoving down for weeks, and ragged sobs force their way from my throat.
“Oh, Aidan. It’s okay. Let it out.”
And for the first time, maybe ever, I do. I don’t worry about what anyone else needs in this moment, or what Lyla thinks about me breaking down like this. I just focus on the mess of feelings coursing through my chest and the feel of my angel’s heart beating steadily against my palm.
Lifting the other hand to grip the back of her head, I pull her to me even tighter and relish in the way her comforting smell surrounds me. Cherries and sweet vanilla invade my nostrils and soothe some of the roiling emotions currently holding my mind in a hostile takeover. I know I really don’t, but a big part of me feels like I owe Lyla an explanation for why I reacted the way I did to Crew’s words.
Even with those conflicting thoughts, all of me understands she has the right to know about Mia. If not as my girlfriend and a potential mother figure for Crew, then as his nanny.
This is going to hurt, but definitely not as much as telling her about my father. I was never hung up on Mia, as terrible as that sounds. She was a one-night stand who was never meant to be more. And she had absolutely nothing on the woman in front of me.
Steeling myself for my second painful conversation today, I launch into the story of how my little boy came to be.
“And she really just left her newborn baby at the hospital with strange nurses and a man she slept with one time and spent a week in his guest room. I mean, no offense, Aidan. You’re a wonderful father. But still . I could never… I’m so sorry you had to go through that on your own,” she trails off, looking distraught.
Crew fell fast asleep between us in the fort a little while ago, and our conversation quickly turned back to Mia. I think Lyla was still processing from everything I told her earlier, so the fact that she has more questions doesn’t come as a shock.
I nod, grimacing at the memories racing to the forefront of my mind. “Here I was, this not even twenty-two-year-old kid, newly drafted and still struggling with the loss o f his own father, and a nurse comes in to tell me this fragile, tiny human is now solely my responsibility.”
My hands shake in a visceral response to the emotions I remember feeling in that moment, but then Lyla slips her soft hand in mine and the tremors ease. Releasing a shaky breath, I give her a wobbly smile in thanks.
“I didn’t know the first goddamn thing about being a parent or taking care of a baby. But when I was sitting there in that rock-hard recliner in the NICU with this little one-and-a-half-pound-baby that looked more like a baby bird than a human, I took one look at him and knew I would do anything, be anything, for him. No matter who his mom was, or how shitty my own example of a father was. It took three seconds holding his tiny body to my chest for my entire world to change.”
My breath stutters in my chest. “Suddenly, I wasn’t just Aidan Black, catcher for the Charleston Raptors and son of an abusive, alcoholic asshole. I was Aidan Black, father to this perfect little boy. He became the love of my life in the span of one of his small, labored breaths, and I’ve never regretted it. Not for a single second.”
Lyla’s eyes are misted over with tears when I chance a look at her, and seeing the depth of her care for us is humbling. After growing up second best to my younger brother, having someone put us first has been enlightening, and I hate to think of how that will change if our relationship proves to be too much for her on top of dealing with her ex.
Her mouth opens to respond, but before she can get a word out, her phone starts buzzing like crazy on the couch. With a grimace, she mouths an apology before picking up the offending device, only when she sees the screen , her faces drains of color. Panic spikes in my chest at the sudden change in her demeanor, and I go to place a hand on her shoulder.
Lyla winces slightly when I reach for her, and it’s like a knife to the chest. She stopped flinching around me weeks ago, so I can only assume whatever she’s looking at either triggered or scared the hell out of her.
“Ly, what is it? What just happened?” My voice is slightly frantic, but the urge to protect her is nearly choking me.
Lyla
Aidan’s voice sounds like he’s speaking to me from above the surface as I drown underwater. My lungs refuse to expand to take in any oxygen, and the room is getting dark around the edges. The shaking in my hands increases tenfold as I read the headline and messages lighting up my screen again.
“Lyla!” The whisper-bark finally breaks through my frozen moment of panic, and I gasp, a hand automatically coming to rest over my throat. Logically, I know the bruises are long gone, but the phantom feeling of Sebastian’s fingers wrapped around my neck makes me feel like I’m being choked all over again.
Large hands cup my face, and panic takes over until the scent of the ocean surrounds me seconds before Aidan’s body heat meets my back. He picks me up effortlessly and carries me down the hall to his bedroom, not stopping until we reach his bed. I can hear the movie still playing out in the living room, and my mind immediately goes to Crew .
“Crew?” My voice is little more than a squeak, but thankfully, Aidan hears me anyway.
His eyes warm as he sits down next to me. “Crew is fine, angel. He’s out like a light, and you know that kid can sleep through a hurricane.”
I nod, the reassurance settling some of the worry in my chest. Warm fingers cover mine, and I’m surprised to find them wrapped so tightly around my phone that my knuckles are white. With a concentrated effort, I release the device, letting it drop into Aidan’s hand. I stretch out my fingers with a sigh and direct an embarrassed look his way.
“Sorry I freaked out.”
He shakes his head and scoots a few inches closer so our hips are touching. With one calloused finger, he lifts my chin so I’m meeting his icy blue gaze. “You never have to apologize to me, Ly. Do you want to talk about it?”
A month ago, the thought of talking about any of this would have sent me running for the hills, but after deciding to give a relationship with Aidan a real chance, I know he needs the truth when things like this happen. Even if he doesn’t know that’s what I’ve decided yet. Now isn’t the time to tell him anyway.
Sighing, I point to my phone. “A news article came out today and was sent to me anonymously, along with some threatening texts I can only assume are from my ex.”
His eyebrows shoot to his hairline, and he doesn’t hesitate to unlock the phone and read through the many messages on the screen, his expression growing darker the further he scrolls.
Unknown
I warned you I’d bring you back one way or another, little bunny. Dear old Dad was just heartbroken when I told him you suffered a bout of hysterics and took off. He’d do anything to find out where his precious little girl is.
Come home and take your place by my side, or your little baseball friend will find out just how long my reach really is. This behavior is unacceptable for a Pennington.
After all, it would be a shame if everyone had to find out just how mentally unstable you are.
You have two weeks. Close your legs and get your ungrateful ass back home where you belong.
Aidan chokes suddenly, looking to me with wide eyes.
I roughly drag my hands over my eyes, knowing exactly what he’s about to say. I’m likely smearing my ruined mascara even further down my face, but I can’t bring myself to care. The man has seen me mid-panic attack. What’s a little raccoon eyes?
“Lyla Taylor Kingsley? You mean to tell me your daddy is Colin Kingsley ?”
The corner of my mouth turns up in a small smirk because he just sounds so southern when he’s feeling big emotions. “I’m pretty sure we established you’re my daddy. But yes, Colin is my father.”
Realization dawns on his handsome face, and he grips my hand between his. “So the revolving door of nannies, being ignored when you were sick, the loneliness and aversion to social media?”
I nod with a shrug. “A byproduct of being the daughter of one of the most famous actors in the world while having no talent or notable skills of my own.”
His expression freezes as he turns toward me on the bed, placing one knee up on the bed and grabbing my face in his hands. “Lyla Taylor, that is absolutely not true. You are one of the kindest, smartest, most generous people I know. And for someone who grew up without a reliable parent, you’ve become one of the most important parental figures in Crew’s life. That, to me, is proof you’re so much more talented than you think.”
A smile easily emerges on my face at his words. “Thanks, Aid.”
He returns the smile briefly before growing serious again. “As for your ex, I promise it will be okay. I won’t let this motherfucker anywhere near you ever again. I know you don’t know Copeland well yet, but when he decides he likes someone, he’ll go to bat for them without question. And the man is as persistent as a leech after pond-swimming when he sets his mind to something, so having him on your side through all this is a great thing. ”
Sighing, I rest my head on Aidan’s shoulder. “Getting off the bus in Charleston was the best decision I ever made.”