Chapter 25 Beneath the Surface
Chapter twenty-five
Beneath the Surface
I sat back in the plush leather of the SUV, watching Nel out of the corner of my eye and giggling.
My brother had been in Mexico for less than forty-eight hours, but he was already acting like he owned the entire Yucatan Peninsula.
He had spent the first five minutes of the ride bossing the driver around until the man finally gave up, turned off his local radio station, and handed Nel the aux cord.
"Trust me, Jefe," Nel had said with a grin, "you’re gonna thank me for this vibe."
Nel’s playlist was a chaotic trip through his own mind. We went from shouting the lyrics to Rihanna’s Rude Boy at the top of our lungs to suddenly being plunged into the dark, heavy atmosphere of dvsn’s Between Us.
The shift in energy was instant. The bass was slow and deep, vibrating through the floorboards and settling right in my chest. As the lyrics started to weave through the air, talking about the space between two people and the things that go unsaid, the smile started to fade from my face.
My mind went straight back to the villa. I could still feel the phantom weight of Dex’s hands on my hips and the heat of him still lingering deep inside me. After years of running, years of holding up shields, it had taken less than a week for him to dismantle every single one of my defenses.
I looked out the window at the dark jungle blurring past us, the moonlight catching the occasional flash of white stone from a passing resort. The silence in the car felt heavy now, filled with the kind of questions I was usually too afraid to ask out loud.
"Nel?" I said, my voice barely carrying over the music.
"Yeah, Sis?" He didn't look over, his thumb scrolling through his phone as he lowered the volume on the track.
"How stupid would I be to get with Dex? Like, for real this time?"
Nel stopped scrolling. He didn't look at me right away; he just stared at his phone screen for a long second while the music hummed low in the background. He leaned his head back against the headrest and let out a slow, measured breath.
"Stupid?" he repeated, finally turning his head to look at me. "Nique, you aren't stupid, but when it comes to Dexter, you’re an addict and he’s your fix."
I opened my mouth to defend myself, but he held up a hand.
"I’m being for real with you," he said, his voice dropping into that protective tone. "If you’re asking me if it’s a bad move on paper?
Hell yeah. He’s got a whole entire human being with another woman.
Amina is never going to make it easy for you to be the one in that seat.
That's a lifetime of drama you’re signing up for. "
He shifted in his seat, facing me fully now.
"But then I look at how you were with Kel and how you are with Dex I realize you’ve been playing it safe with her so you wouldn't get hurt again. With Dex you’re more alive, more present."
Nel sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw.
"You wouldn't be stupid to get with him, but you got to decide if you’re ready to fight a war every single day. Because with Amina and your history, it’s never gonna be just dinner and movies.
It’s gonna be fire. Every day. You just got to ask yourself if you’re tired of being cold, or if you’re ready to risk getting burned to finally stay warm. "
He looked back out the window as the lights of the Tulum strip started to twinkle in the distance.
"Personally I think he’s the only man that ever deserved you. But he’s also the only one that can truly break you. So, what’s the play, Sis? You trying to live for real, or you trying to keep playing it safe?"
"I love him, Nel," I admitted, the words feeling heavy as they left my throat. "I’ve loved that man since we were kids. That’s why I’m so damn terrified. Loving him feels like handing him the match to burn my whole life down."
Nel didn't judge me. He just reached over and squeezed my hand, his grip solid and grounding. "Then you just have to keep an open mind, Nique. If you’re really gonna do this, you have to actually forgive him. You can’t keep a suitcase full of old shit by the door ready to unpack it every time he clears his throat the wrong way. "
He paused, his eyes turning serious.
"And you definitely can't bring up Amina every time you get mad.
You can't argue with her, and you can't let her pull you out of your character. At the end of the day, there is a child involved. That little girl growing up seeing nothing but toxicity between the adults in her life is not healthy. It’s not fair to her, and it ain't gonna be good for you. "
I looked out the window, feeling the weight of his words. He was right. Being with Dex wasn't just about the chemistry in the shower or the way he looked at me. It was about the reality of his life.
"You're right," I whispered. "I have a lot to consider before I really agree to be his girl again. I told him I wanted us to take it slow for now."
"That’s best," Nel nodded, leaning back. "Take the pressure off. Just see how it feels to breathe for a minute."
Neither of us said anything and it wasn't awkward. The low hum of Usher filled the gaps. The energy in the car shifted. Nel went quiet, his posture stiffening just a fraction. He cleared his throat, a nervous habit he’s had since we were kids, and adjusted his phone in his lap.
"Speaking of forgiveness and keeping an open mind," he started, his voice a little too careful. "I want to go ahead and let you know... I also invited Stella to dinner tonight."
The air left my lungs instantly. It felt like the SUV had just driven off a cliff. I turned my head so fast my neck popped, staring at my twin like he had just admitted to a murder.
"You did what?" I whispered, my voice trembling with a mix of shock and pure, unadulterated betrayal.
"Nique, listen—"
"No." I shook my head, my vision blurring as the walls of the car felt like they were closing in. "No, Nel. Tell me you didn't."
I had spent the last few hours feeling like I was finally finding my footing, finally finding a piece of happiness with Dex and with one sentence, my brother had dropped a bomb that leveled everything.
I leaned my head against the cold glass of the window, my heart sinking into the pit of my stomach. The night that was supposed to be my escape had just turned into my worst nightmare.