Chapter Sixteen Damien
The weather was so perfect that it was as if Cathy had ordered it just for her daughter’s wedding.
It was a Saturday afternoon, so the beach was full of people, but the resort had the area where the ceremony would take place sectioned off with braided rope, meaning that the only people there were guests waiting for the wedding to start.
Kelsie and the rest of the bridesmaids spent all morning and afternoon with Leanne.
I had no idea why it took them so long to get ready.
I didn’t meet up with Ryan and the other guys until about an hour before the wedding was due to begin.
There was no stress involved in getting ready on our end.
We all wore light-colored linen blazers and trousers, keeping it casual for the beach wedding.
Ryan paced the room while we waited, but not in agitation. He was radiating positive energy, and I was truly happy for the guy. Anyone could look at him and just see that this was the happiest day of his life.
Ford and Jake were the exact opposite. I didn’t know what the hell happened last night, but the two of them seemed fine at the rehearsal dinner and now, something heavy hung in the air between them.
Jake was usually an easygoing guy, maybe too easygoing at times.
He was the type who didn’t take much seriously, but today, his face was grim, and he was pointedly avoiding Ford’s eyes.
As for Ford, he looked like hell. Bags under his eyes indicated that he didn’t get much sleep last night. His shoulders were slumped where he sat in an armchair, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
Ryan and I shared a few curious looks, but neither of us interrogated them about what was wrong. I was sure that Ryan didn’t want to deal with whatever drama they were going through when he was thirty minutes away from walking down the aisle.
I was of the same mind. Besides, I had enough on my mind today.
The wedding was important, I knew that. It was the whole reason we were here.
But I found myself wishing I could speed up time to get it over with.
I was desperate to get time alone with Kelsie, and not just because every time we were alone lately, I got to touch her curvy body and taste her sweet lips.
We needed to have a conversation. I wasn’t sure exactly what to say, but I didn’t like the way things were left up in the air between us yesterday.
I knew what I wanted now, and if I could go back in time and keep myself from sticking my big, stupid foot into my mouth the morning after we first slept together, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I hated knowing that I caused her pain. Even worse was the way that my words and actions had killed her trust in me.
I knew that was what held her back when I told her that I wanted to be with her.
Kelsie might have been trying to act like her feelings for me were nothing more than infatuation, that she was perfectly fine with just staying friends, but I knew better.
Now that I recognized the warmth in her eyes for what it was, I couldn’t miss the flashes of it I kept seeing.
She still wanted to be with me, still cared.
I was sure of that. But it wasn’t much consolation when she was too scared to trust me with her heart anymore.
What the hell was I going to do about that?
Finally, Cathy sent one of Leanne’s cousins to come get us. It was time for the ceremony to start.
Stepping out of the resort, the wedding party gathered behind a large privacy screen the resort had set up not far from the terrace.
It was made of strips of bamboo and framed by tall tropical plants, so it didn’t look out of place as it shielded us from view of the guests.
The only person not with us was Ryan. He was waiting at the arch so that Leanne’s appearance would be a stunning reveal for him.
At least, that was the way Cathy explained it during the rehearsal. I was sure that Ryan would be pleased when he saw Leanne in her lace dress with the flower crown in her brown hair and excitement lighting up her eyes. But I barely spared her a glance. I was too busy staring at Kelsie.
All three bridesmaids wore the same dresses with a halter top and a slit up one side, but Kelsie was the one I couldn’t take my eyes off of.
Her skin was golden after spending days on the island, and it made the peach color of her dress seem brighter.
Every step she took allowed for a flash of her toned leg that made my mouth water, and the way her hourglass shape was accentuated was enough to require that I adjust myself when no one was looking.
Then, she moved into position in front of me with Jake at her side, and I saw that the dress had an open back. I shamelessly ran my eyes over the expanse of smooth skin and tightened my hands into fists to keep my fingers from tracing the delicate curve of her spine.
Jess came to stand next to me, all of us lined up the way we were at the rehearsal.
Jake leaned in close to Kelsie and said something to her in a voice too low for me to hear.
Whatever it was, it made Kelsie laugh, tossing her long blonde hair, which was styled into loose curls today.
I gritted my teeth and looked away, knowing that my jealousy was an overreaction.
Jake wasn’t Kelsie’s type at all, and he was probably just cracking jokes to pass time until the reception, when he’d attempt to pick up a random woman for the night.
But I still wanted to rip him away from her.
While I was at it, I’d swoop her up into my arms like I did when she was hurt during the volleyball game and carry her off to my room this time, where I’d show her just how much I wanted her because my words hadn’t had an effect yet.
“Calm down, big boy,” Jess said. When I turned to her, she was looking at Kelsie too. “She’s not into him.”
My jealousy must have shown on my face, but I wasn’t sure I could hide it even if I tried. Jess looked more exasperated than surprised, and I figured that Ryan was right. Everyone could see the potential between me and Kelsie long before I did.
“I know,” I said, the word sharper than I meant for it to be. I made an effort to soften my tone. “It’s just… it seems like men have been all over her this week and it’s driving me crazy.”
Jess nodded, but there was amusement shining in her eyes. “Have you asked yourself the reason for that?”
The progression down the aisle started, and I watched as Ford and Angela walked along the wooden planks in the sand.
“Of course, I have,” I sighed, looking at Kelsie again as she looped her arm through Jake’s. “It’s not really much of a mystery. She’s gorgeous and funny and thoughtful. The real question is, why aren’t men drooling over her all the time?”
Jess rolled her eyes. “Because you’re always there, dummy.”
Kelsie and Jake started walking, and I moved forward with Jess so that we were ready to go next. “You mean that I scare them off?”
“I mean that everyone can see that she only has eyes for you. When you’re around, and you’re always around Kelsie, no other guy would even think they have a chance.”
It must have been so obvious to everyone, and I missed it.
“They don’t have a chance,” I said, determination making the words bold and absolute. “Kelsie is mine.”
It was the first time I’d said it to anyone but her, and I knew now that I should have shouted it to the fucking rooftops after we slept together.
My instinct to hide it was as stupid as calling it a mistake had been.
I wanted everyone to know Kelsie was my girl.
Especially every man that could even think of looking her way.
Jess just nodded, like she’d known that all along. Then, it was time for us to walk. Once again, my eyes were on Kelsie the whole way. She was beaming, happy for our friends.
I wanted to see that look on her face every day.
I moved to stand by Ryan when we reached the arch, and everyone got on their feet as the music changed to the wedding march.
A shudder moved through Ryan when Leanne appeared.
My friend, who was the toughest firefighter in our unit, blinked several times as his eyes started to look shiny.
His breathing turned shallow, and when she finally reached him, there was a noticeable tremor in his hands as he reached for hers.
But Ryan didn’t care about that. Being overcome with emotion in front of all of his friends and family didn’t matter because the woman he wanted was in front of him, ready to commit to forever at his side.
My eyes moved to Kelsie again, and a tectonic shift occurred inside me. The pieces of a puzzle that I’d been slowly putting together all week suddenly snapped into place and became a beautiful, life-altering picture.
I loved Kelsie. I loved her in a way that was bone-deep and world ending. Nothing would be the same without her in my life, and I’d always known that, hadn’t I?
That was why I freaked out about sleeping with her, the reason that I was so desperate to hold onto the friendship we had.
I wasn’t about to let romance sour the connection we shared.
But what I didn’t realize was that it would never happen that way.
We weren’t my parents. Kelsie wasn’t someone I’d ever grow tired of.
I’d never leave her. She wasn’t just a friend or lover.
She was a part of me now, the best part.
She was mine because I was hers. Completely and irrevocably.
I was in a daze as the ceremony went on. Vows were recited, rings exchanged, and Ryan kissed her with a desperation that bordered on inappropriate. Still, everyone cheered.
Then, the couple was announced and we were to walk behind them to the ballroom where the reception would take place.
I knew that I should go along with the plan and hold off on talking to Kelsie until later, but I just couldn’t do it.
I knew how I truly felt, and I needed to tell her now.
I sensed her trying to move away from me all week, and the fear that I might’ve already lost her was nearly paralyzing.
No. That was unacceptable. I couldn’t let her go. Not now, not ever.
My best chance was to confess my feelings. And I’d beg her to forgive me if I had to. When it came to Kelsie, pride didn’t matter.
So, I moved toward her, putting an arm around her waist just before Jake reached her. She looked at me with wide eyes. “What are you doing?”
“We’re walking together now,” I said, my eyes shifting to Jake. I let him see every bit of possessiveness I felt in that moment.
To his credit, he didn’t even try to argue. Pivoting, Jake held his arm out to Jess. “I guess that means you and I are an item now.”
Jess laughed as she took his arm. “My husband might have something to say about that.”
“Damien, what’s wrong with you?” Kelsie asked.
So much was wrong. So many mistakes had been made this week.
But I was going to make it right.
Instead of answering her here with the entire wedding party standing so close and the wedding guests watching, I guided Kelsie down the aisle behind Jake and Jess. They were following Ryan and Leanne to the ballroom, but I broke us off from the group before we got that far.
“Damien, what are you-” Ford started to ask from behind me, but I cut him off.
“Cover for us, okay? We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Kelsie looked bewildered, but she didn’t argue with me as I led us down the beach, away from the wedding and the resort guests and the general crowd. Before I knew it, we were standing in about the same spot where I found that seashell days ago, the one she told me to keep to remember this trip.
But I didn’t need it. I’d remember this trip forever.
“Are you okay?” Kelsie asked when I stopped walking and turned to face her. There was an adorable little wrinkle in her forehead as she looked at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”
There were a thousand things I could say, elegant words that would explain my thoughts and feelings and hopes and fears. There was so much to share with her. But it all boiled down to one thing.
Cupping her cheeks, I looked deep into those beautiful grey eyes. “Kelsie, I love you.”