Chapter Seventeen Kelsie
Damien’s words hit me in the center of my chest, knocking the wind out of me as I stared at him in awe. Did he really just say that?
It felt surreal, like I would blink and wake up in my hotel room at the resort. Like this was all just a dream.
But the salty ocean air in my lungs and the warmth of Damien’s hands on my cheeks told me that this was very real. Damien just said that he loved me.
Last night, I wanted so badly to give in when he said he wanted to be with me, but something that I couldn’t even identify held me back. Now, I knew what it was.
Damien told me he wanted me, but I already knew that. We’d slept together more than once this week, even after he reacted so poorly the morning after our first time together. The physical chemistry we shared was undeniable.
It wasn’t enough for me, though. When he pinned me to the wall in that stairwell and called me his, it hurt almost as much as his previous rejection.
Because I didn’t believe there was anything deeper to it than physical attraction and the fondness that made him want to be my friend in the first place.
I was so sure that he was choosing a relationship because it was easier than complicating a friendship with hot sex.
I thought that he was letting his dick make his decisions for him because he didn’t feel the way that I did at all.
Now, I wasn’t sure of anything.
“What?” I breathed, the sound so faint that it was immediately carried away on the wind.
“I said I love you, Kels.”
God, the urge to sink into him was so strong, and it would be easy. I could just choose to believe what he was saying, let my heart feel full for the first time since that dreadful morning. I could tell him I loved him too.
But if he was just saying what I wanted to hear, it would never last. If I let myself believe in this—believe in us—and he walked away after the novelty of sex with me wore off, it would destroy me.
I forced myself to take an uneven step backwards, out of his reach, even though it felt like ripping out my own heart.
“Don’t. Don’t say that.” My chin quivered, and my vision got blurry as tears flooded my eyes. “Not if you don’t mean it, and I don’t think you do.”
His face fell, and the echo of his hurt reverberated through me.
“I know why you think that,” he said, and the understanding in his voice cracked my chest wide open.
“I’ve really fucked all of this up, haven’t I?
When I think about all the opportunities I had to be with you, even before we came here, I feel like I might go crazy.
Because it’s you, baby. You’re the woman that’s been right in front of me for years, the one that’s always been so important to me.
I thought it’s because you’re my best friend, and that was so damn valuable to me, but now I know that there’s more to it than that. You’re everything.”
I swallowed hard, and wetness spilled over my cheeks when I closed my eyes. I sensed Damien move closer, and then he was touching me again. This time, his thumbs brushed away the tears.
“Don’t cry,” he said, and my eyes snapped open at the torment in his voice.
His blue eyes burned with emotion. “I can’t stand being the reason you’re crying.
I only want to make you smile, every day from now on.
And laugh. And I want to go back to being us, but better.
I want to send you funny videos I come across and watch scary movies together.
Trying spicy food and watching basketball games.
I want to spend all of my time with you. ”
That made my lips quirk up in a small smile, even as my nose burned and more tears trickled down my face. “We already do all of that.”
“Yeah.” He stepped even closer, until our chests were pressed together and his forehead was resting against mine.
“But I also want to kiss you every day. And sleep beside you every night. I want a redo of the morning after because waking up with you in my arms should’ve been the most amazing experience.
If I hadn’t messed everything up because I was so damn scared of losing you… ”
I frowned as I processed his words. “Scared of losing me?”
Damien sighed, his breath warm on my face.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, when my words that day drove you so far away from me, but that morning…
my mind leapt to this scenario where sleeping together would lead to dating, which would lead to conflict.
I’ve just always thought of romantic relationships as hard work, and I think a part of me has always thought that dating and marriage wouldn’t work out for me.
That they’d be doomed to fail, like my parents’ marriage.
If that happened between us, I’d lose you for good. ”
Realization hit me. I knew about his parents’ messy divorce.
Damien didn’t like to talk about it, but he’d opened up to me one night after a couple of beers and a bad day at work.
He was feeling vulnerable and needed someone to listen, so that was what I did.
I listened to his heartbreaking stories about his parents fighting each other his entire life, often putting him right in the middle of the vitriol.
He’d been completely open with me, and I felt closer to him than ever.
I never brought it up after that night, knowing that it was a sore subject for him, but I never forgot about it either. I couldn’t understand how two people could fail their son so spectacularly.
“That wouldn’t have happened to us,” I said, knowing in my heart that it was true.
“I know that now. Like I told you last night, my eyes are open, baby. I know that we were never friends, not really. I was lying to myself, thinking that if we didn’t have a physical relationship, it meant we had a solid, lasting friendship.
But the truth is that you’re my other half, and I love you. ”
This was the third time he’d said it, and I could have sworn that my heart grew bigger each time I heard it.
The flicker of hope that had survived the heartbreak of this week was now a raging inferno inside of me, consuming all of my doubts and pain.
All I could see was the earnest regret in Damien’s eyes.
All I could hear was the affection in his voice.
All I could feel was the longing coursing through my body.
I believed him. Just as I opened my mouth to say so, Damien spoke again, an edge of desperation to his words.
“I’ll come to Minneapolis with you.”
My eyes grew wide. “What?”
“If you take the job. I’ll come with you. I’ll follow you anywhere. Just please, give me another chance.”
If I still had any uncertainty about his commitment to me, those words washed it away. He was offering to walk away from everything to be at my side. It sure as hell seemed like he wasn’t scared anymore.
Going up on my tiptoes, I pressed a kiss to Damien’s lips. He sucked in a sharp breath in surprise, but it only lasted a second before his arms came around me, his hands on the exposed skin of my back.
There was a possessive edge to the way he kissed me back, his lips moving against mine and his tongue deepening our connection. I let myself get swept away, knowing that I was right where I was always supposed to be. My heart beat in sync with his, and I felt claimed and cherished.
“I love you too,” I said, ripping my mouth away from his. Damien’s breathing was ragged, his eyes wild, and I liked seeing him come undone like this.
Then, his face split in the most brilliant smile I’d ever seen. It rivaled the sun shining brightly above us.
“Is there any way that I can talk you into skipping the party?” he asked.
I laughed. “Are you insane? You’re the best man! I’m pretty sure you’re expected to give a speech.”
His arms were still around me, and he nuzzled my neck. “I’m tired of talking. I’d much rather get started on this second chance you’ve given me.”
“And risk Aunt Cathy’s wrath?”
“You’ve got a point.” He released me but grabbed my hand as we started to make our way back to the resort where the reception was probably well-underway. “So… would you rather sleep in my room tonight or yours?”
I smiled as warm happiness spread through my chest. I had no idea when I came to this island for my cousin’s wedding that I would find my own happy ending. But now that I had, I was never letting go.