Chapter 12 #2
“Pretty much. And I am the poor girl who was left behind. Even though nobody has any idea what happened. And I don’t want to get into it beyond that.
I just hate the looks.” She glanced over at me before turning down the lane.
“Just like the ones that you get walking down the street because they’re so worried about what the band is doing or your sister or your ex.
And then they’re focused on Bodhi, and of course, his past comes out.
It’s just ridiculous. People need to mind their manners and keep to themselves.
” She paused at the gate and swallowed hard.
“And here I am, making this about me when you have to deal with things like this all the time.”
I leaned to the side and gave her an awkward hug. Touch was my love language, but I’d been bad at showing it recently. “Don’t worry about me. Thank you for the ride, Elizabeth. And for being my friend.”
She grinned at me, and I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. Freaking stunning. And I thought about how Atlas Carter was an idiot for many reasons.
We said our goodbyes, and I walked past Bodhi’s quiet house and toward the cabin that had become my home. I stood on my porch, wondering if I should bother Bodhi and humming the melody that wouldn’t quit.
We spoke like a Sunday sermon.
Hands in your pockets, full of grace.
Instead of seeing the smoke behind you.
But I was busy staring at your face.
I shivered, knowing that didn’t sound like a Wilder song. But I couldn’t get Jeremiah out of my mind.
I hadn’t loved him. Not the way you should for a long-term relationship.
And I had thought I’d walked away soon enough.
But he caught me anyway. Shivering, I decided to go inside, write down a few lyrics, and then go see what Bodhi was up to.
He hadn’t come to say hi to me when Elizabeth had dropped me off, but I knew he was still in the workshop, busy on a few commissions.
We didn’t live together. I wasn’t even sure what we were to each other.
I would not push. Bodhi needed time to think, and frankly, so did I.
I turned the knob on my cabin door and frowned.
Had I left it unlocked? Maybe. Though I knew I was usually more careful than that with what had happened.
Bodhi must have been inside to fix something and left it unlocked since he owned the cabin.
I pushed that thought away and walked inside.
The lights were off, and even though the days were long, since we were up in the mountains with the heavy tree cover, the cabin was still decently dark.
I turned on a small lamp and blinked, wondering when I had moved my notebooks from the bedroom into the living room.
An eerie feeling settled over me, with the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I turned and let out a scream.
“Bitch!” Brigid jumped on me, her hands curled into talons, and tried to rake her fingernails down my face. I shoved at her shoulder, knocking her back.
“How the hell did you get here?” My heart thudded against my rib cage, my brain trying to keep up with the fact that my sister stood in my cabin. Bodhi’s cabin.
“You left the gate partially open when you left last time. Stupid Kiera. Always thinking that she knows better. Always thinking that she’s smarter.
And she can’t even lock a gate. Well, now I see where you’re spending all your time.
You can’t spend any time with me, but you can spend the night in this hovel?
I guess being a rock star doesn’t pay much these days, does it? ”
My heart hammered in my chest as I blocked another lazy swipe of her hand.
“What are you doing here, Brigid? What on earth would you want from me?”
“I want everything! You abandoned me. You left me to be some stupid rock star, and now you don’t even care about me. You left just like Mommy and Daddy did.”
Each sentence was like another kick, another set of shame, but I knew it was all a lie. Her pupils were dilated, her breath coming in pants. The track marks down her arms were evident, and she shook as she tried to speak.
“Brigid. Let me just get you some water or something.”
“I don’t want water. I want you to take care of me like you promised. You stupid whore.”
She shoved at me again as the door behind me burst open. Bodhi was there, axe in hand, and my little sister screamed. She shoved me at him before reaching for the lamp. When she tossed it in his direction, he slipped out of the way and stomped forward.
“Who the hell are you, and how did you get here?”
“I’m okay. It’s okay,” I said, and I hoped to hell that he was listening to me.
Not that I would blame him for hurting my sister at this point.
She’d trespassed; she’d tried to hurt me.
And this was his place. Once again, I had brought my damage, my past, and my issues to his doorstep.
Just like I had when Teagan had let me stay in this cabin without asking.
“Your sister?” Bodhi asked, risking a glance at me. Embarrassment crawled over my skin, and I took a step forward, past Bodhi, and toward my sister. She looked at me with wide eyes, her mouth parting.
“Brigid. Please. Let me think.”
“Why don’t you love me anymore?” Her voice broke, and it felt as if the quicksand I’d been so afraid of as a child had finally come to take me down to the depths of hell.
“Of course, I love you. But you can’t do this. You broke in here.”
“It doesn’t matter. I always thought whatever you had was mine, just like what I have is yours. But that’s not the same, is it? You left me behind.”
I held back tears, moving another foot forward.
“No. I didn’t. You’re sick. You need help. Don’t you see?”
“I don’t need anything from you.”
The lies that she told herself contradicted one another, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.
My spoiled little sister never took any consequences for herself, never did anything other than use our parents’ money, and fell into an abyss.
And I had helped her along for too many years to count. Because I tried to protect her.
And I hadn’t been enough.
“Just give me what you owe me, and I’ll leave. I promise.”
“Let me help you.”
“No. Fuck you.”
She reached back and tossed a vase toward us. Bodhi pulled me out of the way as it shattered on the wall behind me, and I knew enough was enough. Bodhi didn’t need to deal with this. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to take care of my sister.
I took two more steps forward, and as my sister was far too gone in her own drugs and waste, she didn’t notice until my arms were around her, pinning her arms to the sides.
“Will you call the police?” I asked. Brigid shook, trying to kick me off.
Bodhi scowled. “I’ll hold her down. She’s going to hurt you. You call the cops. If that’s what you want.” There was such understanding in his gaze that I wanted to curl in a ball and die. And hide. Why did he have to notice this? Why did this have to happen on his property?
Well, I knew that answer. It was my fault.
I once again brought trouble to his home. His safety.
Brigid screamed and kicked, trying to lash out, but Bodhi was stronger. He pinned her arms down, as I pulled out my phone and called the cops on my baby sister.
It didn’t take long for them to show up, and I made my statement, as did Bodhi.
I didn’t know what they were going to charge her with.
She had drugs on her, cocaine and heroin, and I didn’t even know if it was enough to be counted as distribution or not.
Weed might be legal in this state, but that was about it.
There was breaking and entering, damaging property, assault, and she’d thrown things at us.
I didn’t know what I would do, but as they took her away and we made our statements, bile coated my tongue.
Everything would be public record, and the media would soon find out that I’d let my sister be arrested. In fact, I was the one charging her. Now, my embarrassment wouldn’t only lead to this cabin, but also to Ashford Creek, and the world.
I had to call Max and warn him, as well as my publicist and the rest of the band.
By the time we were alone, Bodhi was on the phone, texting with his family, reassuring them that all was well.
Even though it didn’t feel like it. We stood in his kitchen as he fixed the back window in the cabin.
Brigid had broken it and then had unlocked the door as she had paced in and out in a drugged stupor.
Bodhi hadn’t heard a damn thing because he had been up the mountain, dealing with something else on the property, and I was just grateful he hadn’t gotten hurt.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my hands shaking. “For bringing this to you. You don’t deserve this.”
“Kiera,” he said, his voice soft.
“Don’t. Let me just pack up my things, and I’ll go stay at the bed and breakfast or something.
You need to have your sanctuary. Your privacy.
And all I’ve done is bring notice to you.
I got you in the news again, and some of the townspeople keep hounding you because you’re near me and letting me stay here.
And then my sister. I don’t want you to have to deal with this anymore. ”
“Kiera.”
I took two steps toward the door, trying to formulate a plan, and then Bodhi’s arms were around me.
“I don’t believe that she was able to get here because of me.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is. I’m nothing but drama, and that’s everything that you try to stay away from.”
He turned me in his arms and glared down at me. I loved it when he glared like that. He looked so angry and mean. But that was the Bodhi that I liked.
“You’ve done nothing wrong. Well, the gate is one thing, and that’s probably on me. I’ll check it out, as well as the rest of the cameras. Your sister, for a drug addict, was very careful how she tiptoed through the side of the property to get to the cabin. And I wasn’t here to catch it.”
“You cannot blame yourself for this.”
“Neither can you. You didn’t do this. And I’m so fucking sorry that your sister is putting you in this position.”
I let the tears fall as I stared up at him. “All I do is bring nuisance.”
“You bring different,” he said carefully.
I rolled my eyes. “That is not the right word.”
“You bring change. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault what other people think of you, or what they do to try to get to you. You are beautiful, talented, brilliant, and people want a piece of you. Hell, I’m here holding you, aren’t I?”
“It’s not the same with you,” I said, knowing that was probably the most truthful statement I had ever put between us.
“The only thing I want from you right now is for you to breathe. Just breathe.”
I leaned my forehead against his chest, my shoulders shaking. “I put my baby sister in jail.”
“Maybe she’ll get some help.”
“What if it’s not enough?”
“Then it’s not on you. She has to want to help herself.” He paused. “Just like the man who hurt my family. He didn’t help himself, but your sister will.”
I jolted, startled that he would even mention that time.
“The man who hurt my family wasn’t right. He had problems of his own, and the drugs didn’t help. I will blame him for everything that he did. I can’t help but do so. But if your sister finds a way to help herself, maybe this was the push that she needed.”
I shifted so I could move my hand up to his face, and my fingers slid through his beard.
“I just don’t know what to think. I’m frustrated and pissed off. I just want the world to leave me alone for a moment. And to stop coming at you.”
“I’m fine.”
I blinked up at him. “Really?”
“Really. I’m pissed off on your account.
But I don’t care what the media says about me.
They’ve already said the worst thing that they could.
The townspeople who I will always have a grudge against thought the worst. They can’t hurt me any more than they already have. So breathe. This is not on you.”
Then he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I moaned into him, my hands dropping to his waist. He let his hands fall to my ass and squeezed. I rocked against him, smiling against his lips.
“What can I do for you?” he asked.
I raised a brow, trying to bring humor to the situation.
He kissed me again before taking a step back. “You don’t want to think? You want to deal with your frustration? I think I can help with that.”
I pressed my thighs together and swallowed hard.
“Follow me. I have a bunch of wood out back, and I have an axe. And you can use your favorite bat to hit things. You’re hot when you are holding that. Just saying.”
I stared at him, oddly disappointed, before I threw my head back and laughed.
This man. He constantly surprised me.
“Okay, hitting things would be good.”
“And we can use your lucky bat too.” He took my hand and squeezed before leading me back to his barn. Maybe we could do this. Maybe we could make it work.
Because in this moment, I felt like perhaps we could take on the world. Only reality would crash in soon. I knew it. We’d already had a taste of it. But for now, I could lean. I could let the facade wrap its arms around us. And we would deal with the real world later.