Chapter 17
KIERA
In the week since the attack, everything had moved far too quickly, yet at a glacial pace. I wasn’t quite sure how that happened, but it seemed to be my lot in life these days.
I was sore, but wasn’t in as much pain as I thought I would be, and the initial attack had been mostly shock, and while I still had stitches and my arm and face hurt, the rest of my body felt fine. I still walked around the property.
“You should be back in bed.”
I leaned against the kitchen counter, a hot mug of tea in my hand despite the heat outside, and shook my head. “I’ve been lying down for a week, other than these small walks you allowed me to have. I’m scratching at the walls, Bodhi.”
He leaned against the island, his arms folded over his massive chest as he stared at me.
When he tilted his head, the overhead light glinting off his septum ring, I licked my lips.
We were in this odd bubble of time. One more change would come and eventually speed up with every passing moment.
I didn’t know what we were doing or where we would go, but if we weren’t careful, we would break each other in the end.
I was truly afraid of that. I was truly afraid of where we would go and what would happen when reality slowly settled in.
But, for now, I needed to live in this moment.
I wondered what the hell we would do with another.
“You were just attacked and sliced with a knife. You should be in bed.”
“And I have been. Let’s go for a walk, Bodhi.”
He moved forward then, took the mug from my hand, and set it behind me. Then he cupped the unhurt side of my face. “Are you sure you’re ready for a walk?”
“We’ve been doing small ones every day. I need this.
We need this. The cops no longer have to come here every day to get more statements.
My team handled the media. We have enough casseroles in the fridge from the townspeople that you’ll never have to cook for the next year, it feels like.
Everybody’s rallied around us. And I just want to go for a walk. ”
“Okay. I want to take you somewhere. Well, two somewheres.”
My eyes widened. “Really?” I knew I could do anything that I wanted, and Bodhi wouldn’t stop me if I needed to leave the house.
Though perhaps he would throw me over his shoulder in a fireman carry and tie me to the bed, but that would be for something else.
He let me have my independence, to figure out what I needed, and I loved that for both of us.
But I wanted him to understand me. And he did.
We loved each other. Those words have been uttered between us, and it surprised me with every passing moment.
Because I didn’t know what they truly meant in the long run.
Which should scare me, and it did, but perhaps not as much as it should.
“I want to show you something precious to me. If that’s okay.”
My throat tightened, and I nodded. “Anything. I want to know you, Bodhi.”
“Why do I feel like you already do more than anyone else in my life?”
Tears pricked my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. We were in a stasis. Where anything could happen in the moment and shatter it all.
The craziness was over. My sister and my ex wouldn’t be bothering us anymore, and it felt like the world was changing, like the town was fully bringing us together. We had time to heal and to think before everything changed. And it felt like nothing could hurt us anymore, other than ourselves.
And I loved that.
“I also plan on taking you somewhere this afternoon, because if I don’t, Teagan will kidnap you anyway.”
My eyes widened. “What do you mean?” Everybody and their mother had been visiting, and I loved it. But I also wanted to leave the property just for a moment. To see more of Ashford Creek before I had to leave. And that was a thought I didn’t want to think of too hard.
“It is the summer parade. You know small towns. They love their parades. I know Teagan and Finnian and a few others have been working hard on all the prep for it. Elizabeth might even be coming.”
“Oh. That’s today? I can’t believe I didn’t think about that. They’ve been talking about it so much in the group chat.”
“You have a group chat with them?”
“I’m in like six different Ashford Creek group chats right now. I love it. And I don’t even usually like texting that much because my phone’s always running off the hook.”
“That’s why you have two phone numbers.”
“Like the proper rock star celebrity than I am.” I fluttered my eyelashes, and it made him smile. Exactly what I wanted him to do. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.
“Come on. I want to show you something before we head to the parade. Most of my family’s going to be there, and we don’t have to bring anything.
In fact, I was told we shouldn’t bring a single thing because they want to take care of us.
” He rolled his eyes, but I could see the happiness in his gaze.
His family loved him unconditionally. And the fact that they were starting to see him more and more, especially outside his house, meant the world to me.
He was healing just as much as I had. God, I loved this man. And I didn’t want to leave.
He kissed me softly, tasting of coffee, and as I stepped back, I reached to throw away the rest of my tea, not bothering to finish it, and slid my feet into hiking boots that had shown up one day.
Bodhi had found me the perfect size, and he hadn’t taken my thank you very well.
He had just grunted, as if he expected to take care of me, and I was supposed to let it happen.
Silly man. I wanted to take care of him as well.
It was already pretty hot considering the time of year, so I didn’t need a jacket, but I put on my crossbody bag and watched as Bodhi put on a small backpack filled with water and snacks.
“We aren’t going far, but it is hot outside.”
“Okay. Do you have some spray on?”
“Of course. Do you?”
“Yes. And I’m wearing a hat and sunglasses. I’m taking care of myself.”
“Good. Remember, I can take care of you too.” He ran a knuckle down my cheek, and I was at a loss for words.
This was the Bodhi beneath the growly surface, the one that had always been hanging in there.
I shook myself out of whatever reverie threatened to take hold as I left his property and we made our way through the forest.
“It’s a couple of miles, and while we could have driven, I know you wanted this walk.”
“I really need it. Thank you.”
It wasn’t too hot under all of the tall trees, which provided a blanket of cover from the heat.
I listened as he told me stories of the Ashford kids running through these woods, yes, usually hiding from their father.
But then he spoke of his mother, and the way that she had done everything in her power to take care of her babies.
He spoke of Malcolm and their twin bond.
And how small the other twins had been when they had been born.
He was a perpetual middle child and yet acted as the older one, constantly trying to take care of others.
He spoke of how proud he was of each of his siblings, and how hard they had worked despite their father.
And I loved every moment and part of this man.
So when we found ourselves at the edge of a graveyard, I wasn’t truly surprised. After all, we were spending moments in time in his past, so of course, he would take me here.
“Kiera, this is Courtney, Josie, and Henry.” He gestured toward the two small stones and the larger one, and I let the tears fall.
This man. This man and all of his heart truly was a blessing and the shattered remains of a man who had once been so different.
I could always wonder who he had been in that moment, but I would never know.
This was the Bodhi that I knew. The Bodhi that I loved.
The one that stood beside me, still broken, and yet pieced together over time.
Growly, not so indifferent, and overprotective to the core.
He kneeled and held out his hand so he could help me. My ribs still slightly hurt, but even after the hike, I felt invigorated. But this was a precious moment, and I sat next to him as he picked away a few weeds in front of Courtney’s stone.
“When the fire came, I wasn’t there. And I will always hate myself for that.”
I reached down to the burn scars on his arms and trailed my fingers over them.
“You tried to be.”
“I did.” He cleared his throat. “Josie was such a happy baby. She would laugh those little baby giggles that always made you stop in your tracks. Henry was mischievous, always trying to hide his blocks and other toys around the house, and going on treasure hunts with you to find them. And Courtney would dance in the kitchen, making Josie do those little giggles, and Henry tried to dance along with her.”
“They sound so lovely.”
He nodded. “They were the best.” He gestured to the north side of the graveyard.
“Malcolm is over there. At least his stone is. My in-laws wanted Courtney to be buried, and so I went along with it. It was the same with the children. But Malcolm wanted to be cremated. So we have a stone there for him that I talk to sometimes. But he’s all over these mountains, and at his home in L.A.
He’s scattered in the wind, and sometimes I can hear his laugh.
It’s weird because I have the same laugh. ”
“I never knew that.” I reached forward and wiped a tear from his cheek.
“Malcolm got to meet my son. My twin got to hold my son and made fun of me, saying that the kid would probably choose him when we got older because he was the rock star, and I was just the guy with the dad bod. But then Henry had reached for me, and Malcolm had just laughed. Because my son knew his dad.”
“Bodhi,” I whispered.
“My daughter never got to meet my brother. Malcolm died before she was born. And then they died. And then I was left alone here, trying to figure out who the fuck I was.”