Crowns and Courtships (1001 Dark Nights)

Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Day looked down at the magazine in front of her, a deep sadness running through her heart. It had been a solid week since her wedding but seeing herself in that gorgeous yellow sari, Kash standing beside her in all his wedding finery, made her ache inside. For the most part she’d been able to avoid news coverage, but she’d walked down to the women’s locker room to use the sauna and someone had left a copy of People magazine, with its cover story on the royal wedding, laying on one of the benches.

Had it been so little time since she’d been that happy woman?

“Hey, I was…that’s weird. I was looking for that magazine. It’s not every day you find the celebrity holding the magazine she’s on the cover of. Well, unless you’re my brother-in-law. I swear he keeps his own press clippings around at all times so he can pull out some sexy picture of himself and sign it.” The woman in front of her smiled. She was a bit taller than Day, with a friendly face and a mass of curly brown hair tied back with a black ribbon. She held out a hand. “I’m Kori Ferguson.”

Day shook her hand. She’d been told Kori might be in and out of the club. She and her husband, Kai, ran a clinic next door. They specialized in helping soldiers with PTSD. It was the kind of thing Day would have usually been interested in. She would have asked a million questions and wanted to know about the science behind their therapies. Now she could barely work up the will to return the woman’s smile. “Dayita Kamdar.”

Kori stepped back, the smile on her face turning a bit mischievous. “Should I curtsy?”

The Domme in Day recognized what a righteous brat that one would be. The woman in front of her would likely be fun to play with. Of course, she was sure Kash would see her even thinking the thought as a form of cheating. He didn’t seem to be capable of understanding that play didn’t have to end in sex.

He also wasn’t capable of seeing how much he needed.

Day handed over the magazine. “No curtsies, please. I’m trying to be undercover. I don’t think Mr. Taggart would take it well if his staff started curtsying to the royals.”

Kori snorted lightly. “I’m so not that man’s staff.”

Naturally, she was offending everyone these days. “I apologize. I meant no offense.”

Kori shrugged. “None taken. I’m sure Big Tag would call me staff. Then I would do something mean to his locker. Then he would laugh and handle it super well, and Kai would get all pissy and I would find myself tied up and well, you know where it goes from there. Big Tag is surprisingly good natured about practical jokes. I filled his locker with Jell-O once. Don’t even ask. It was a week-long project. I thought he would flip his shit. He laughed hysterically and asked me if I could do it to Adam’s car.”

It was an interesting place she found herself in. She might have even loved Sanctum had she not felt so deeply alone. “And did you?”

“Still working on it. So, are you coming to the masquerade night?” Kori opened one of the lockers and stuffed the magazine inside. “Kai and I are getting things ready. I was surprised you haven’t come to any of the play nights. Kai said you were active in the lifestyle.”

She had to go with the united front she and Kash had agreed on. He’d been true to his word. He’d softened his stance and hadn’t accused her of being a whore or trying to ruin his kingdom again. They’d sat down the day after they’d arrived and agreed that they could make no decisions and do nothing until they figured out who had tried to kill Kash. While they were stuck here in Sanctum, they’d decided they would work on being friends. After the first day, they’d slept in separate beds, kept up different rooms. They’d been polite, but there was a distance between them she’d never felt before. Not when they were together. Somehow, when they were in the same room, there had always been a connection she could feel. It had been cut now, and she wasn’t sure they would ever get it back.

Kash didn’t seem interested in finding that connection again. He’d spent his time watching movies in the men’s locker room or playing video games with the bodyguards. Day had been left to read or work out, or—worst of all—think.

“My husband and I are going to keep a low profile while we’re here,” she said simply. “We’re on our honeymoon. I think we want to keep things private. You know how newlyweds are.”

Kori whistled. “Dude, you have to get your stories together. Kash is telling everyone that this is nothing more than an arranged marriage and the two of you have an agreement. He’s planning on playing tonight. One of the things I brought in was a set of leathers for his royal deludeness. Sorry about the dude, Your Majesty. I dude everyone.”

Kash was planning on playing? Was he kidding? “My husband requested that you bring him a set of leathers?”

Kori’s eyes went wide. “Whoa. Okay, I believe it now. I didn’t before. When they said you were in the lifestyle, I thought it was kind of like Kash was in the lifestyle. Like you played around a bit, but you would be more of a delusional tourist than anything. I apologize for the rudeness, Mistress Day.”

She was well aware that she’d likely turned on a dime, but something about Kash going behind her back to play rankled. “I appreciate your acknowledgment, but it isn’t necessary. What is necessary is your honest answer to my question. Did my husband request that you bring him a set of leathers because he intends to play in the club this evening?”

“Yes, ma’am. If he doesn’t intend to play, then he’s going to be walking around your private suite in a full-on mask tonight. He’s the one who requested the masquerade theme. Everyone wearing some form of costume means there can be a full play night.”

“There have been several play nights already.” Not that she’d attended them.

“Yes, but the club hasn’t technically been open to the full membership. It’s only been open to a close-knit group.”

“Why would that…” The answer hit her square in the gut. “Are they all couples? No single submissives?”

Kashmir would want a sub. He would want some delicate thing to blink her eyes at him and never complain so he could feel like a man. It wouldn’t matter that the delicate flower couldn’t give Kash what his soul craved. All her husband cared about was his image.

Kori sighed and sank down to the bench. “Yes, it was all couples the last few nights. I think Big Tag was trying to make you more comfortable. He admires you as a top. Apparently some dude in France likes you, and Tag likes that dude, so there’s a mathematical equation in Tag’s mind that adds up to you being one of the good ones.”

“I’m well known at The Velvet Collar. I believe Mr. Taggart is good friends with Rene, the man who owns the club. He’s also a friend of mine.” And one she should have listened to. “I was trained by Rene. One of the things he taught me was that I can’t change a submissive who doesn’t want to change. I should have listened to him.”

A leopard didn’t change his spots, and Kashmir Kamdar would never be faithful. Certainly not to her. He was probably keeping her quiet and focused until the moment that he could break ties with her. He would know a compliant wife was better than one actively fighting him. Hence his decision to stop haranguing her. He’d made his decision and now he was surviving as best he could until he could spring whatever plan he’d come up with on her.

Until then, if he could quietly have his fun, he would do it.

“Please excuse me.” She started to turn to go.

“Arguing with him won’t solve the problem,” Kori said suddenly.

Day turned, arching a brow and then realizing what she was doing. They weren’t playing. They were in a club, but the roles weren’t rigid here. She was tense and upset and slipping into the one role where she felt in control. It wouldn’t help her. It would only serve to cause her more trouble. “I wasn’t planning on arguing. I was going to talk to him. You’re right. We do need to get our stories straight.”

“But it will end up in an argument, you know. Look, I’m not trying to overstep… Okay, I am, but it’s totally what I do. Overstepping is kind of a hobby of mine. If you go find Kash, you’ll get into an argument, and that won’t solve anything. He’s too stubborn to give in and you gave him an out. Is it so surprising that he took it? Kash has been fooling himself for years.”

“An out?” Now she was confused.

Kori shifted on the bench, gesturing for Day to join her. “Kash talks when he drinks. He wasn’t playing so Tag gave him a free pass to the bar. He came down to the club last night and after a couple of shots, he started talking to my husband. Oh, in the beginning it was all about how Kai should cut his man bun. Don’t you underestimate the power of the man bun. Anyway, after another few shots, he told Kai that you lied to him and tricked him into a D/s relationship.”

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes in perfect disdain. “That’s ridiculous. I didn’t trick him into anything.”

“So you outlined what you wanted from him?”

There it was, that creeping, completely unfounded guilt that seemed ready to overwhelm her at any given moment. This was why she hated all the time she’d spent “thinking.” “I gave clear instructions and they led us both to incredible encounters.”

“So you didn’t work up a contract with him?”

And the wave was cresting. “It wasn’t like that. I knew we wouldn’t have that kind of a relationship.”

“But you wanted one.” Kori leaned in. “Mistress Day, you don’t have to talk about this, but I know you’re not talking about it with Kash and I don’t think you have made friends here. You’ve been through something stressful and I understand pulling back. But talking can help. It’s helping Kash.”

He did seem happier. He’d had breakfast with her this morning and spoken more than a few words. They’d had a lively discussion about an article he’d read in a scientific digest. It had almost made her feel normal.

What would it hurt to talk to Kori? From what she’d heard from Kash, this woman and her husband were in some ways the mom and pop of the club. Big Tag and his wife were the king and queen, but Kori and Kai were the ones many of the members talked to when they had a problem.

“If I had sat him down and explained that I was a Mistress and wanted him to submit to me sexually, he would have run as fast as he could. Kash thinks submitting means he’s weak. He can say he understands the lifestyle all he likes. He doesn’t.”

“I don’t know about that. I think he does understand much of it. The thing he doesn’t understand is himself, and tricking him into something he’s not ready for wasn’t the best plan.”

“I wasn’t tricking him.”

“I understand that, but that’s how he’ll see it. Why didn’t you tell him you had experience?”

How much had Kash talked? Little hypocrite. He’d told her they should show a united front and then turned around and given up their every secret. “I didn’t hide it. I simply didn’t talk about it. I didn’t want to hear about Kash’s conquests.”

“But you knew about them.”

She couldn’t avoid it. “Everyone knows about them. His escapades are legendary.”

“While yours were private. You knew much more about him than he knew about you. Doesn’t that put him at a disadvantage?”

She caught hold of her anger. There was nothing in Kori’s demeanor that indicated she was being judgmental. She was the wife of a therapist, and Day would be surprised if she hadn’t picked up a few of her husband’s techniques. It was a bit like a science experiment. She’d put forth a theory—that Kashmir had been “tricked.” Now it was up to Day to prove or disprove the theory. Kash believed it. By examining her own actions with Kori, she could find a way to change his mind.

Or she would decide she owed her husband an apology.

“I don’t view relationships as a game. I don’t seek to have an advantage over him. I wasn’t trying to trick him. I was trying to form a connection with him and it worked. When we were alone together, he responded to everything I asked of him. He enjoyed it.”

“Until?” Kori asked.

“Until the moment he figured out someone knew about my background as a Domme. We were perfectly fine until he realized it was possible someone could find out.”

“Interesting and not unsurprising. I did hear that Ian and some of the others were working to ensure your privacy,” Kori explained. “I’m fairly certain after they’re done, you won’t have to worry about the press finding out.”

“That’s the real problem. I never worried. I didn’t care. I’m not ashamed of myself. I take pride in who I am and what I can do. I’ve helped many submissives learn about discipline and to find their inner strength. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“No, but it is seen as abnormal by many in society.”

“And it always will be if we all hide.”

Kori shook her head. “It can’t be you. You gave up that right when you chose to take the crown, Your Majesty. You get to stand up for people who don’t have a voice. You get to do amazing things for the needy people of both your country and the world, but you don’t get this. The minute you decided to become Loa Mali’s queen, you ceased being able to take that part of yourself public. I’m not saying there’s anything shameful, but you have other fights to fight. Bigger fights. You can be whoever you want behind closed doors, but you belong to the people otherwise. That’s what Kash has to deal with.”

It hit her forcibly. Somehow she’d known it in an intellectual way, but she hadn’t fully grasped what it all meant. Kash’s life had changed that day fifteen years before. He’d gone from coddled spare son with all the choices of his life open to him to a man whose path was laid out before him with no exit ramps.

She was now trapped with him and Kori was right. She had to be realistic. There were many ways she could help the people of her country, but she couldn’t do anything at all if she was so controversial a figure that no one would listen. She wasn’t a pop star who could say whatever was on her mind and still expect to collect a paycheck at the end of the day. She wasn’t even a politician. She represented the people of Loa Mali.

Kash had been submissive for fifteen years. Submissive to his crown, to his people. His sexuality was one way he could have some form of control. Still, even he couldn’t walk into a BDSM club without causing a scandal. They had to keep that part of their lives private.

It wasn’t going to work. Sadness replaced her anger with him. Anger would solve nothing. She’d been na?ve to think she could show him how good it would be to submit to her, that he needed to submit.

“He isn’t capable of giving himself what he needs,” she said softly. “He won’t ever give in. Not fully. That’s why he was going to travel after our honeymoon. He needed distance.”

“If it helps at all, I think you’re right. I believe he would find great joy in having a place to submit to a strong top. It would help him realize he doesn’t always have to be the king, but I fear he’s spent too long with a crown on his head to be able to change his mindset. It’s one thing for him to be known as a manwhore, something different for him to be seen as sexually submissive.”

He wouldn’t be able to do it. She could see that now. He’d indulged himself, but even right before their wedding, she’d felt him pulling away. He’d always intended to pull away. He’d been trying to stave off that moment when he would have to tell her he could never be that way again.

Had he dreaded it? Had Tasha showing up that night actually been some form of a relief for him?

“I should let it be.” Talking to him wouldn’t change a thing.

Kori frowned. “Oh, I didn’t say that.”

“You were right. Arguing isn’t going to get us anywhere. I understand his position. I was wrong to try to be sneaky. I should have been upfront with him. It would have saved us both a lot of time and heartache and potential lawyers’ fees. No, I’m going to give him the space he needs. I’ll try to talk to him about what we need to do, let him know I won’t fight him. I think that’s what he’s afraid of. He’s afraid I’ll cause trouble, but that’s not my intention at all. I want to make this easy on him, and definitely easy on the queen mother.”

She wasn’t sure what made her sadder, the idea of losing Kash or that for a moment it had felt like she’d had a family again. For a few weeks, she’d felt like she belonged.

“I agree you should go easy on his mom, but you should totally give him hell. It’s the only way they ever learn. Look, you’re the Mistress. I get that, and you all have rules and shit, but sometimes a bit of bratty behavior goes a long way.” The smile that lit up Kori’s face let her know she played the brat a lot. All the more fun for her Master. “Sometimes you’ve got to change the game on a man to get him to see things in a different light.”

That sub was probably so much trouble, but then again, she also seemed smart as hell. Day wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but maybe it was time to change the game. After all, the rules had been stacked against Kash since the day he’d been born.

“What are you thinking?”

“You know what they say, Mistress. What’s good for the goose…”

Was good for the gander. Ah, she understood. Perhaps it was time to start over, but with no secrets between them. He would likely still reject her, but if there was any chance at all, she would take it.

“I’m going to need some help.”

Kash stepped into the lounge with an uneasy sense of guilt. He’d told Day that he was going down to the conference room to play some video games. He’d then changed as quickly as he could and left via the back door of their suite, praying she wouldn’t see him. He was dressed in the leathers the group had been kind enough to supply. He wore leather pants and boots, a thin leather vest, and a mask. With his hair pulled back in a tight queue and the mask covering half his face, he was certain no one who didn’t know he was here would recognize him.

Would Day recognize him like this? Would she respect him like this?

He’d lied to her. Damn, why had he done that?

The lights had been turned on and heavy industrial music thudded through the club. It looked like Taggart had gone all out since there was a heavy layer of smoke running across the dungeon floor. It gave the space a hypnotic, other-worldly feel.

This was what he needed. To be out of his own head for a while, outside the world and the places where all the responsibility weighed him down, where he could be someone other than the king.

But wasn’t that exactly what Day had been trying to offer him?

He shook off the question and jogged down the stairs, moving quickly toward the lounge section of the club. Guilt followed him. It kept pace with his movements, giving him not a moment’s rest.

She was trying to be his friend and he was plotting against her. She thought he was going to give her some happy-ass divorce, but he couldn’t. He fucking couldn’t, and that pissed him off, too.

He needed this evening. That was what he told himself. He needed a night to prove to himself that the thing with Day had been an outlier—an experience that varied from the norm. He wasn’t the man who sighed and kissed his woman’s feet. He was the top.

There would be no sex tonight. He couldn’t. He…he was married to Day, and he felt that deep in his soul. But perhaps if he found a sub to top, the world would shift back into place.

Then he would be able to sit down with her. He might be able to deal with the situation rationally. When he really thought about it, he was doing this for the two of them.

If he could figure his own shit out, perhaps she would understand. Perhaps she would fall in line and he could be strong enough for the two of them.

Kash made it to the lounge area, where most of the group would start their evening. Some people were already out in the playroom area and some had scenes going in the dungeon, but he needed to find a partner.

To top. Because he was the top. He was the Dom. That was how it had to be.

“Are you serious? Dude, what is wrong with you? Is that a wig?” Taggart asked a man with long hair that very likely was a wig.

Taggart sat on one of the lounge chairs, leaning back and looking like a king holding court. Well, if the king of Sanctum also happened to be a long-haired rocker with a red bandana around his forehead.

Apparently the group had taken the whole masquerade theme seriously. Kash had thought they would all just wear masks, but some of the group were in full-on costume. Charlotte Taggart wore red thigh-high boots and a Wonder Woman costume that would certainly fall off her the minute she started taking out the bad guys. Although it could be effective. She had lovely breasts. She could distract her enemies with those.

“I’m not going to apologize, Axl Rose. Khal Drogo is a badass,” the other man said.

“He’s also about five feet taller than you,” Taggart returned.

The other man shrugged. “I have about a billion dollars more than he has so I think I win. Also, my sun and moon is even prettier than the one on TV. Hey, gorgeous.”

A lovely woman stepped into the lounge wearing a flowing white gown and a wig with platinum blonde locks. She looked at the man who would probably have made a better hobbit and sighed, her hand over her heart. “And you look amazing, my love. Don’t let the big bad wolf tear you down. I’ll set some dragons on him.”

Taggart grinned. “I got Wonder Woman to shield me.”

The man with the fake swords at his sides stepped up and put his hands on the woman’s hips. “I’ve got a billion dollars on Big Tag, too. Don’t you worry about my ego. I can handle it. You ready to handle me?”

“You know I am, baby,” the woman replied and then her eyes took on a steely look. “How do you greet me?”

To Kash’s surprise, the man fell to his knees, his hands on his thighs as he offered himself up to his Domme.

The woman put a hand on his head and accepted the offer with a smile. “Come, my love. Let’s go play. It’s been a rough week. I think you need some serious discipline.”

His face turned up and he was grinning. “Yes, after that last board meeting, I’m going to need a little something something, if you know what I mean.”

She reached out a hand, helping him up, and then led him away toward the play area.

“That is one happy tech guru,” Charlotte said with a smile on her face.

“I remember when he was all uptight and grumpy.” Serena Dean-Miles took a seat. She was dressed in a schoolgirl outfit complete with pigtails and Mary Janes. “Hey, Ka… I mean, hi, Sir. We’re calling him Sir tonight, right?”

“He’s undercover, though I wouldn’t have agreed to any of this if I thought he was in real jeopardy,” Taggart explained, his hand on his wife’s knee. “Every single person in this club knows the rules. No one is going to talk to the press because they know they would have to deal with me. And Mitch. He’s a bloodsucking lawyer. He’s like a giant tick. Once he settles in, it’s really hard to get him out. Ask Laurel. One unplanned pregnancy and she’s saddled with the man for life.”

Charlotte shook her head. “Don’t believe him. They’re incredibly happy. And now Serena and I are going to help the Mistress set up for her demo. I’ve heard Harrison nearly had a heart attack when he found out a Domme was going to be doing a ropes demo tonight. He had a rough case this week and he’s sure he can avoid the heart attack he sees coming his way if he can get in a good, long session.”

“Harrison Keen? The attorney?” He’d met the man briefly when he’d been at Sanctum the year before. Keen had been on the board of a charity Kash funded. Harrison Keen was an all-American man who commanded attention when he walked in a room. “He’s going to help this Mistress with her demonstrations?”

Taggart laughed, the sound booming through the lounge. “No. He’s going to beg the woman to tie him up and beat his ass red. Keen’s a big old bottom. Oh, don’t get me wrong. He’s the alpha male in the courtroom, but when he’s in the dungeon, that man is all about kissing some dainty Domme feet.”

“We talking about Keen or Milo?” a new voice asked. Adam Miles strode up. He was dressed in a perfectly pressed suit, his hair slicked back and a briefcase in his hand.

“Keen,” Tag replied as his wife stood up. “Milo’s lost his damn mind. I swear, the nerds are taking over. Between Milo’s dragons and Phoebe and Jesse’s weird wand fetish, it’s getting sketchy around here. Now Adam’s come dressed as Simon. It’s a crazy fucking world, man. You know it’s not normal for your wife’s fantasy guy to be another team member, right?”

Miles shot Tag his middle finger. “Fuck you. Si doesn’t have a copyright on three-piece suits. I’m not dressed as him. I’m a professor and that’s one naughty schoolgirl.”

Serena stood and cuddled up against her husband. “You know I am, professor. Very naughty. I didn’t do my homework. I suppose someone’s going to have to punish me.”

“I think we can work something out, you bad, bad girl. Look at that pout.” Adam growled down at his wife and then his entire demeanor changed. “Hey, babe, don’t let me forget. We’re out of wipes. Jake used nearly a whole box yesterday.”

Serena nodded. “We’re calling it the Great Poop Incident. I’ve never seen a baby poop so much. Jake was overwhelmed. We can steal a box from the nursery when we pick up the kids.”

“I heard that,” Taggart said with a frown.

Serena shook her head. “Nope, Axl Rose is an outlaw. He would totally agree with my decision to move to a life of baby wipe thievery.” She looked back up at her husband. “I’ll see you later, professor. I’ll try to stay out of trouble, but you know how naughty I can be.”

Miles smacked his wife’s backside, eliciting a squeal from her. “I’ve got a paddle with your name on it. Now go and do what you need to do. Jake’ll be up in a bit and then you’ll have to deal with two angry professors.”

Charlotte kissed her husband and the two subs were off to help set up the scene.

Miles sank into the chair opposite Taggart. “I sent you the report on the masked one’s latest threat.”

Kash sat down with the two men. “What do you mean latest threat?”

Taggart had his phone out, pulling up files. “You ran down where they would have gotten the poison?”

“Of course,” Miles shot back. “I’m a genius.”

“What was the poison?” Kash asked. “It had to be fast acting. There are only a few poisons that could be used that would act so quickly. Was it cyanide?”

“It was a conotoxin,” Miles replied.

Taggart was shaking his head. “Dude, I am never going to Australia. Everything wants to kill you there. Even the flipping snails. I do not get it. Charlie wants to go for vacation, but I think it would be one long attempt at survival.”

“Snails?” He didn’t need Taggart’s sarcasm.

“There’s a marine snail, native to Australia,” Miles explained. “It’s called a cone snail and it’s one of the most venomous creatures on the planet. Unfortunately, Tag’s right about Australia. Everything wants to kill you there. Have you ever seen a real kangaroo? They can punch and shit, and they are not unfamiliar with fight club.”

“Where would the assassin have gotten this venom?” Kash needed to keep them focused.

“Probably from a pharmaceutical lab.” Tag nodded. “Yep, there it is. A small lab working on the coast reported a break-in, and someone stole a small supply of the venom. They’re studying it to see if it can be used to treat epilepsy and a host of other disorders.”

“I need to check travel records, but I’m getting some pushback,” Miles said. “They don’t know why some firm in Dallas wants to invade the privacy of a bunch of Loa Mali’s citizens. Perhaps if the king could call?”

“I’ll do it in the morning. My cousin can get you all the information you need.” Someone had tried to kill him. It still wasn’t something he’d entirely processed. “So you think someone traveled to Australia, stole some of this toxin, and came back to use it to kill me. Why not use something simpler?”

“Despite what Murder She Wrote will teach you, it’s actually hard to get your hands on a poison that works so quickly,” Miles explained. “Most agents require time and will sicken the victim before killing him. Cyanide works well, but you have to have enough of it and it’s highly controlled. I’ll figure out who went to Australia shortly before the robbery and we should have a suspect pool.”

“Australia is quite close.” He didn’t want them to think this would be easy. “We have an excellent relationship with them. We don’t require visas coming into or out of the country. It will be a large pool. It’s winter break back home. Lots of people on holiday.”

He glanced out over the playroom and caught sight of the Game of Thrones couple again. That was when it clicked. He’d seen that man before. He’d met that man before. “That was Milo Jaye.”

Taggart barely looked up from his phone. “Yep, that’s Milo. Thanks, Adam. Did I punch your face for that lately?”

Adam’s eyes rolled. “Sure, bringing one of the wealthiest men in the country into your circle of influence is a punchable offense.”

“I already filled the tech guru nerd spot. Case married into a family of them,” Taggart argued.

“Yeah, well, the Lawless clan has yet to accept your offer to come to Sanctum,” Adam shot back. “And you know how the old saying goes. You can never have too many ridiculously wealthy tech gurus on the team.”

“But he’s one of the most powerful businessmen in the world.” Kash didn’t understand.

Taggart’s eyes finally came up. “Is that a declarative statement or a question? I can tell you he’s a smart fucker. I wasn’t going to let him in. He found the weakest link in my chain, sued Adam, and voila, now he’s happily getting his ass slapped by his girlfriend. They were pretty dumb in the beginning though. Milo thought he was the top.”

Adam snorted a little. “That was pretty funny to watch, and I’m so not the weakest link. If you see Jake, tell him I’m in the conference room trying to trace a couple of flight manifests down, and that if he starts our scene without me, I’ll kill him.”

Adam strode off toward the stairs.

“Why so interested in Milo Jaye?” Taggart asked.

It was odd to be having such a personal conversation with Axl Rose, but he did have some questions. “He’s not the type of man I would see as a submissive. As a matter of fact, I wonder about the other one, too. The lawyer. He seems to be so masculine.”

A brow arched over Taggart’s left eye. “How does masculinity come into this?”

He should stop talking right here and now. This wasn’t a conversation he needed to have. “You know how it is. The woman submits to the man. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Both of Taggart’s eyes widened, and he looked around like a man who’d just realized something was about to kill him. “Dude, you do not say that bullshit in this club. Like seriously, not even outside of it. The subs have ears. They have ears everywhere, and those ears are attached to faces that have mouths, and those mouths talk, and then my wife hears that I was in a conversation where she and all womanhood was subjected to the patriarchy or some shit. She’ll have a really long political term but what it really means is I sleep on the couch.”

He should have known all he would get out of Taggart was sarcasm. “I’ll try not to speak of the patriarchy around your wife.”

“Hey, don’t be so touchy.” Taggart relaxed back and studied him for a moment. “You really think being Dominant or submissive has something to do with gender? Because in my experience, it doesn’t. It’s more about the psychology of the person and the way he or she deals with the world around them. It can be something as simple as a woman or a man was once in a position where he or she was out of control. Especially if that situation involved something sexual. They might need to be in control during sex. I control who plays in this club. I’m not going to allow a submissive in who is actively seeking to hurt himself. I would connect that person to Kai or another therapist. There’s no room for self-hate here. It can be too dangerous. I deal with those people more magnanimously than the other side of it.”

“The other side?”

“The ones who truly want to cause pain without pleasure, who seek to control their submissives in a way that is not healthy for the sub. It’s why almost none of my friends in the lifestyle are twenty-four seven. Even the ones who started that way tend to ease up over time. You can cross the line into abuse if you get the wrong Dom and sub together. Don’t get me wrong. That kind of a relationship can work, but it’s rare. The submissive must be as strong as the Dominant for a relationship like that to work.”

“I thought the whole point was that the Dom was the strong one.”

“That’s because you don’t take any of this seriously. When I try to talk about the fundamental ideas of the lifestyle, you tend to take another shot and talk about spanking girls. The only reason I let you in here is because I trust you not to hurt the subs. Also, you tend to have terrible taste in women. I thought I might be able to save you.”

“I do not have terrible taste in women.” He’d been with some of the most beautiful women in the world. And many of them were horrible human beings.

“Dude, you can’t even tell a supermodel from a spy. Hint, the spies are the ones who try to kill you.”

He would never live that down.

Taggart leaned forward, his voice softening. “I like your wife very much. I have to wonder if she’s not the reason you’re suddenly asking questions.”

“I know you’ve met her before.”

“Have I met Dayita Samar, or Mistress D? I’ve certainly met the latter. She’s a friend of a friend and she’s considered one of the finest Dommes around.”

His stomach clenched at the thought. He was trying to forgive her for not telling him. He was trying to see things from her point of view. “That is good for her and for whomever she chooses to top.”

“Kash, she’s a serious sexual top. From what I understand, it’s merely a part of her personality. The same as it is mine. No damage or trauma forced it. Some of us are simply born this way. Like Harrison and Milo are bottoms. They gain great pleasure from serving their lovers in certain ways and from being served in the way only a top can.”

“Yes, I understand this much. They enjoy having their backsides smacked and kissing a woman’s feet.”

Taggart’s icy blue eyes narrowed. “Okay, that was judgmental, but I think you’re new to this so I’ll keep talking. There’s more to it than getting spanked. I’ve gotten spanked. It doesn’t do anything for me. I think if one of the male subs were here, they would tell you that what they get is a place where they don’t have to be in control. Hell, the female subs would tell you that. There are some strong-as-hell boss ladies who grace this club. They come from all walks of life and they seek to relax, to have those few hours a week where this other part of their personalities gets to come out. They can indulge that piece of themselves. Humans are complex. Well, Adam isn’t. Adam’s a douchebag, but for the most part there are these whole other people who live inside us and never get to come out unless we’re brave enough to explore. I might be the top here, but don’t you doubt for a second that I wouldn’t get on my knees in front of my Charlie. There’s nothing weak about that. I love that woman. She gets every piece of me, with nothing held back. And you know what, she’s the reason why I found that softer side of myself. She and our kids. I’m a completely different person without them. Colder. Alone. Some might have called that strength, but it was really fear.” Taggart shoved his phone back into his pocket. “Have you talked to your wife about this? About how to move forward?”

“How do two tops move forward?” The words felt stubborn, but he couldn’t admit the truth. He couldn’t simply say what he wanted.

“I have a married couple here who are both tops, and they enjoy themselves mightily. And before you start talking about cheating, they don’t sleep with their submissives. They give their expertise to the subs they top and then go at it like a couple of angry rabbits. Seriously, those two know how to tear up a bed, but then you go to hand them a bill and they get all legal on a man’s ass. Note to self, no more fucking lawyers. We’ve got enough damn lawyers.”

Jacob Dean strode in, wearing a suit that was only slightly less perfect than his partner’s had been. “Hey, Tag, you seen Adam? I got stuck in traffic. Stupid 75.”

Taggart nodded. “Yeah, he’s working on a case. Said he’d be a while and you should start without him.”

Dean gave him a thumbs-up. “Excellent. I’ll go get our girl warmed up.”

“You’re an asshole.” Kash watched as Dean strode away.

“It’s all a part of my charm.” Tag stood up. “I think the demo is going to get started soon. I’m going to go watch. Also, it’ll be fun to watch Adam and Jake fight when Adam realizes Jake got that first piece of pie.”

He wasn’t sure what pie had to do with anything, but he followed Tag into the play space. All around him the members of Sanctum seemed to be embracing the idea of a masquerade. He caught sight of the ridiculously wealthy Milo Jaye and his girlfriend. Milo was on his knees in front of her, his eyes soft and a smile playing on his face. His girl lightly ran the tip of a cane down his chest, and it sent a shiver through the man’s body.

Why did the image have to tighten his groin? Why couldn’t he be normal?

What the hell was normal?

“So your wife didn’t want to come down and play?” Taggart asked as they moved toward the largest of the stages. “She’s more than welcome, of course. I have no problem giving her full Mistress privileges here.”

“But I am given merely probationary privileges?” Naturally Day would be able to oversee him if she’d come down. She could stop him and instruct him if she thought he was doing something incorrectly.

Taggart nodded. “Oh, yeah, she’s way better than you. You could learn a thing or two. I don’t know why you wouldn’t. She’s a badass.”

“In my country, women are not supposed to be badasses. They are supposed to be partners, to be helpmates to their husbands.” Had he honestly just said that? What the fuck was wrong with him? He didn’t believe that. He fought against that kind of backward thinking. When he’d been running his lab, he’d made sure to bring in all the brightest minds, male and female.

And now the only use he had for anyone was to bring him his next drink, be his next body in a bed.

How had his life gotten so damn shallow?

Taggart slapped him on the shoulder, one of those American male gestures that let a man know he was both stupid and tolerated. “Maybe that’s why you couldn’t tell the difference between the chick who wanted to kill you and the ones who were in it for your cash. As for me, give me a badass chick every day of the week. You say you’re looking for a helpmate? Badass chick will not only cook your breakfast, she’ll take care of the assassins trying to kill you, give you the best blow job of your life, and scare off all the people you don’t want around. You can keep your delicate chicks. Give me a Russian mob princess. There’s a class of women who know how to treat a man right. Conversely, they also know how to cut a man’s balls off if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.”

“That being?”

He smiled, a bright, open expression that Kash wasn’t used to seeing on Taggart’s face. “Complete and total dependence. I’m joking. Though that is what I feel when she leaves me alone with the kids. Sometimes I think that’s her way of letting me know what hell on earth is like. I’m ready to drop to my knees and beg her to never leave me and all she did was go buy groceries. Yeah, that’s a clever plan of hers. That’s my girl. She’s always plotting. So you didn’t tell me why Day didn’t want to come down and play. You’ve been here. Why hasn’t she?”

Because he’d made her feel so terrible about their situation that she mostly sat around the room like a prisoner waiting for her execution. She read a lot, used the gym when she was sure no one was around. She’d taken to sitting in the small alcove that contained the basketball net. He’d caught her sitting in the sun, her face turned up as though she missed the warmth. She’d been so stunningly beautiful in that moment that he’d wanted nothing more than to take her hand and lead her upstairs.

“Do you think a woman like Day could be happy with a vanilla relationship?”

“Why should she have one?” Taggart asked.

How did he make him understand? “It’s not seemly. If we ever got caught…”

“You get caught all the time, dude. There are pictures of your junk pretty much everywhere. You know you have your own YouTube channel, right?”

“That’s different.”

Taggart stared at him for a moment. “How? Because you’re a guy and you’re supposed to fuck around, and she’s female and should remain pure until she gets to marry the guy who’s fucked around?”

“I don’t think like that. I don’t have a problem with the fact that she’s slept with other men.”

Taggart stopped, settling himself on an unused bench. “Good, because that would make you a really heinous hypocrite and I might decide you need assassinating.”

They were in a scene space that had three walls around it. It looked a bit like an exercise room, except the barbells were alongside a number of paddles and crops. He understood why Taggart had chosen this space for his impromptu conversation about hypocrisy. Kash could hear him easily over the music, but they could still see the large stage.

“Would Day get to stay queen if you died?” Taggart asked, his eyes narrowed.

He had the sudden suspicion that only the truth might save him. Taggart often believed he was smarter than anyone else and that the world should work according to his rules. “No. That would be against the rules of our primogeniture. My cousin Chapal would become the king.”

And then they would have the problems of succession because Chapal would be stubborn about divorcing his husband and marrying a female simply for procreation. A female who would be required to provide a son. He and Day could have ten daughters but if one son was born, he would supersede all his sisters.

Why was that the rule? Because some asshole a thousand years ago decided men were more important than women? That a man—any man—could lead better than a woman?

He had a sudden vision of a young girl. She would have her mother’s silky hair and serious eyes. She would love science and she would be told to study housekeeping. She would be taught to wave and smile and defer to her younger brother because he would be king.

He’d made progress. He’d been the one to push for women to get their degrees. It had been in his coronation speech. He remembered writing it even when his father’s advisors had told him not to push. He’d done it for Day. He’d done it because he’d been in love with a girl who’d wanted to discover the secrets of the universe.

And then his lab had blown up and the guilt had eaten away at him for five long years. He’d turned away from truly leading, and a whole group of nasty old men had gained power in his absence. They’d tried to turn the country back, tried to tell all those little girls who they should be.

The only person fighting them had been Dayita.

While he’d been off drinking his guilt away, she’d been quietly fighting for the next generation. So that both boys and girls received everything their country could give them. So when they became men and women, all were strong.

“Besides, dude, you’re like the king and shit,” Taggart pointed out. “What the hell does it mean to be the king if you can’t tell everyone to fuck off about a couple of things? I get it. You can’t behead people anymore, but you have some power. You can protect your wife. Unless you think your wife is wrong because she’s not a simpering flower who needs you to protect her from everything life throws at her. Unless you think she’s wrong for needing what she needs and being strong enough to ask for it.”

Kash clung to the one thing he could be righteous about. “Ah, but she didn’t. She didn’t ask for it.”

Why had he said that? He’d bloody well outed himself.

If Taggart was surprised, he didn’t show it, which led Kash to wonder if this hadn’t been the point of his conversation all along. “She tricked you into submitting to her?”

“Yes.”

Taggart thought about that for a moment. “How does that work? Did she get you drunk? Blackmail you?”

“No. She didn’t tell me what she was doing.”

“She didn’t give you instructions?” There was a suspicious tone to the question, as though he didn’t really believe he had asked one at all. As though it all should have been obvious. “Because those are usually the norm in a D/s relationship. In vanilla relationships you sometimes fall into bed together and one partner naturally takes the lead, but you can usually tell who that is. Did she fight you for it?”

Nope. He’d lain down the minute she’d turned that sexy-as-hell voice on him. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Did she tie you up when you were asleep or something? You know that’s assault and we should really talk about that.”

Taggart was twisting his words, the bastard. “No, she didn’t do that. And yes, she gave me instructions.”

“She asked you to get to your knees? She asked you to let her take control? How was this confusing to you?” Taggart asked in a rapid-fire interrogation.

“I understood the instructions.”

“And it seems as though you followed them,” Taggart surmised. “Did she tell you she would stop the sex if you didn’t obey her? Is that how she blackmailed you?”

He hadn’t even thought to ask the question. He’d been so enthralled by the way she took control, by the relief he felt at the idea of not being in charge for a few fucking minutes in his day. “I did what she required. It didn’t seem wrong at the time. But she didn’t tell me about her past. She didn’t tell me what she wanted from me.”

“Did she require your submission outside the bedroom? Did she manipulate you into giving in to her when the subject wasn’t sex? Women can use any number of manipulative techniques to get us to submit to their evil wills.”

He had the feeling Taggart was making fun of him. It made him think though. She hadn’t tried to manipulate him. She’d asked if he was going to come to her meetings with parliament, that he sit back and allow her to handle things, but that was her job. She understood it far better than he did. He’d spent the whole time getting hot because of the way she masterfully handled those men, but he’d also realized that she was competent.

They hadn’t fought until that last day. They’d found a familiar friendship that had filled some place inside him he hadn’t realized was empty.

“No, she hasn’t tried, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t part of her plan. She was grooming me.” It sounded stupid even to his ears.

Taggart’s whole body buckled under the force of his laughter. He was red in the face when he came back up. “Kash, man. That is the best. For a hot minute there I thought you were serious. Oh, you got me good. That was hysterical.”

He was deeply appreciative of the fact that his face was covered with a mask because he could feel his cheeks heating. It was ridiculous. “Yeah, I thought it was pretty good. You know me, I am an incredibly funny man.”

Taggart gave him a wide smile. “I was worried there for a minute. She’s an amazing woman. Your girl is kinky and she’ll keep you on your toes for the rest of your life. You totally could have done worse. You should thank your momma for picking a wife who’s badass enough to be your queen. And Kash, it’s time to let go of all that other shit and get the hell back to work.”

“What are you talking about?” He feared he knew. Taggart was one of the only men on earth who knew what he’d been working on and how wrong it had gone.

“You’ve been hiding from that project for years. It wasn’t your fault some douchebag decided to kill your project, and it’s not your fault that your people died. And this time around, you’ll have me working security, and I’ve heard that queen of yours is pretty smart, too. You’ve fumbled around for years. It’s time to do what you’re supposed to do.”

“What’s that, Taggart?”

Taggart’s eyes went to the stage and they lit up as the lights came on. “Well, well, there’s some manipulation. I should have wondered why Charlie was so hot to help set up. See, not all plots are bad things. Some end up leading to happy endings. You wanted to know how it would work with two tops, you can find out tonight. Or you can play with your girl and be happy and tell anyone who thinks it’s wrong to go straight to hell. It’s your choice.”

Taggart started walking away. Kash put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “You didn’t answer my question. You said there was something I was supposed to do.”

“Yeah, man. Some asshat who’s no longer alive thanks to a badass babe set you back. Now it’s time to step up again. Time to change the world. The world needs visionaries. You can’t be a visionary if all you do with your life is worry about what other people think. Be brave. Be the fucking king, my man.”

He glanced up and saw what Taggart had seen. A gorgeous woman wearing a black catsuit that clung to her every curve was walking onto the stage. Walking? That woman didn’t merely walk. She strode. She owned the ground she walked on. A black mask covered her face, but there was no question of who she was. Between the long, midnight black hair that nearly reached her waist and those gorgeous lips of hers, he knew his wife. Although he’d never seen her look so confident, so secure in who she was than that moment she walked onto the stage.

Day was done waiting for him. She was here in the dungeon and she would move on.

Charlotte Taggart took the stage as Day looked over the ropes that had been left for her. Charlotte stepped up and looked out over the small crowd. “Thank you all for joining us tonight. We’ve got a special treat. A friend of ours is here in town for a few days. She’s considered an expert at both bondage and suspension play, and she’s going to give us a demo tonight. She’s going to show you that with proper technique, a tiny Domme can handle her big, burly sub.”

Was that what all that rigging was for? There was an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys connected to an apparatus obviously meant to suspend something in midair. It looked like she would be suspending a man there.

“Please welcome Mistress D.”

There was clapping and shouts of hellos from the couples around him. They were all shapes and sizes, all colors and ages. There were men with women clinging to them and women with men resting at their feet. Some of the couples were same sex, and then there were the threesomes. Not a one of them seemed uncomfortable.

No one cared here. They were all seeking the same thing—to be happy.

Day took center stage. She didn’t need a microphone to be heard. “Thank you so much for having me here tonight. I love rope. I love how it feels in my hands and how creative I can get when using it on a partner. I love suspension play as well because when my lovely sub is trapped in my web and suspended off the ground, he is completely vulnerable to me. There isn’t a part of him I can’t torture and touch, no ground beneath him to keep him from me. Of course, I prefer submissives who enjoy the sensation, and not all do. As with any play, this should be consensual and kind…even when it’s quite cruel.”

Because the cruelty was nothing more than a game. Because Day wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. She merely sought to give her partners a space to explore their fantasy selves, to be someone different than they were in their daily lives, to give up control and feel free for a few hours.

Why should that be forbidden to him?

He saw what could be their lives flash before him. If he chose to stick to this path, they might very well find some friendship, but she would need this. If he forced her away from this lifestyle altogether, a piece of her would be lost, hollowed out. Or if he allowed her to play quietly, she would eventually find a man who wasn’t intimidated, who wouldn’t allow some societal norm to take away his choice, to define his masculinity.

What right did anyone have to choose who he would be?

He was the fucking king.

“I want to show you some of my techniques,” Day continued. “I know the big Doms of the room have no trouble at all suspending their dainty subs, but I prefer my men with muscle. I want to show you how a smaller top can safely suspend and play with her bigger, heavier sub. Can I get a volunteer?”

Three other men held their hands up, one trying to crowd the stage as though willing to physically block out the other men.

He could sit back and watch. He could think this through and make a rational decision.

“I volunteer. Me. And if any one of you touches my wife, I swear I’ll kill you where you stand, is that clear?”

Taggart gave him a big thumbs-up as he moved toward the stage.