Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
EZRA
I’m barely through the door after another long day of training when Jade comes barreling down the hall, looking like she’s ready to tear my head from my shoulders and feed it to the wolves that are her family.
I drop my bag to the ground. “What now? I don’t have time for this. I have to get some shit together, and then I have to go back out for another training session.”
Jade’s eyebrows climb high. “Another training session? Don’t you think you’re pushing yourself hard enough?”
“You don’t understand.”
She stuffs her hand into her back pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “I know you’re killing yourself for this shit, and you’re not going to stop, even though you should.”
“What do you want me to do?” I dump the dirty clothing into the laundry machine and start it, my entire body tense.
It was a hard enough training session. My body is covered in even more cuts and bruises than it was the other night.
Everything aches, and though my ribs aren’t broken yet, they probably will be by the end of tonight.
And Jade is standing here, asking me to give it up, not caring that this is the only thing I live for. This is what’s kept me alive for this long. It’s what’s keeping her alive right now, even if she doesn’t like it.
She unfolds the paper and pushes it into my chest. “What the hell is this?”
I grab the paper from her, scanning over it. “Where did you get this?”
“That’s not what matters right now. What matters is that you’re thinking of going out and getting yourself killed while fighting for someone who doesn’t even give a shit about you!”
I chuckle and shake my head. “You don’t know the first thing about what’s going on here if you think that.”
“Sure, go out tonight, fight, maybe survive, and then go out in a week for this shit.” She jabs the flyer in my hand. “See if you come back alive. He is going to bury you without a second thought, and the fact that you can’t see that is what’s scaring me the most.”
I crumple the paper and throw it to the other side of the room, advancing on her, tension radiating through the room.
“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know that he’s looking for the right chance to kill me?
That this isn’t going to end until I either submit fully and finally fucking kill you, or I let him kill me?
I’m not a fucking idiot, Jade, and I think it’s about goddamn time you remember that. ”
Fire blazes in her eyes, and her hands curl into fists. “You’re going to want to remember who the fuck you’re talking to. You don’t get to shout like a child.”
“And you don’t get to act like a spoiled brat who has any control over what I do with my life, especially when I’m keeping you alive.”
Her eyes are watery despite the anger bubbling there. “You don’t have to do this.”
I step closer to her again, trapping her body between mine and the wall, my hand wrapping around her throat and holding her in place. “You don’t know what I have to do, and what I don’t. You don’t know the first thing about what life is like with the Rinaldos.”
“And you don’t know the first thing about living life for yourself.”
I stare at her, fingers tightening on her throat before I let out a deep breath and release her. “I’m not going to stand here and fight with you about this.”
“Yes, you are. We’re not done talking about this, and we’re not going to be done talking about this either.” Jade puts her hands on my chest and pushes me back a step. “Now, get the fuck away from me.”
I press my fingers to my temples, trying to massage away the headache that’s already forming. “I don’t have time to do this with you right now.”
“You came home barely alive the other night, so you’re going to make time to do this with me right now.” Jade plants her hands on her hips, but it looks more like she’s trying to hold herself together than be intimidating.
I don’t want to do this with her right now. I don’t want to stand here and argue about the things I know I can’t change because there’s no point in doing so.
She lets out a shuddering breath, swiping away the first tear that falls.
For a moment, there’s a rush of guilt through me.
I don’t want to be the reason she cries, but she needs to know that she’s not the one running things here. She needs to accept that I’m going to do what’s going to keep us both alive.
She needs to trust that she’s the only person in the world I care about enough to keep going through this hell.
I sigh and head into the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing a leftover slice of pizza from last night. “I’m doing this to keep us safe.”
“Keeping us safe isn’t going to come at the expense of you ending up dead.” Jade hauls herself up to sit on the counter, looking like she’s calmed down a little. She looks down at her hands, toying with one of the rips in her jeans.
“It’s going to come at whatever cost it comes at.” I take a bite of the pizza as she looks at the knife block.
If she’s going to grab one and threaten me, it’s not going to end well for her. I’m not in the mood for tantrums tonight, and she’s already pushing me too far.
Jade looks at me and shakes her head. “You said you want to be something with me. Something more than just an obsession, and here you are, racing toward death instead.”
It cuts deeper than I’d like to admit, but she doesn’t know what she’s dealing with.
I’ve kept the worst of it from her, and she should be glad for that.
I toss the pizza on the counter, moving closer to her, hands gripping the edge of the counter on either side of her legs.
“I am doing what I have to. If I want to be something more with you, then that means playing Noah’s fucking game and staying alive for as long as possible, whether you like it or not. ”
“I don’t.” She leans back from me. “And if you keep trying to intimidate me into falling in line, I’m going to stab you.”
“Fucking try it.”
She kicks me hard in the balls, and I groan, stumbling to the side.
Jade flings herself off the counter, grabbing a knife and holding it at my throat, the blade digging in. “You’re going to sit down and fucking talk to me about this. You’re not going to keep trying to intimidate me. If you want this to be anything, you’re going to treat me like a partner.”
I swallow hard, the blade grazing against me. “Fine. But I’m going to be late.”
“I don’t give a shit. Sit your ass down.” Jade steps back and motions to the couch.
Though I head into the living room, I stand near the bookshelf, glaring at her as she follows me and sits cross-legged on the couch.
She doesn’t say a word at first, just looking at me like she’s trying to get the right words sorted in her mind first. “You know, I think this is going to be a disaster if you keep trying to live life this way. My family can help. We could get you out, and they would keep us safe from Noah.”
“You think I want your family to take care of me?”
“I don’t think we have much of a choice right now, do you?” She runs a hand through her hair, looking out the window as another tear slips down her cheek, and she wipes it away angrily.
There’s a hand wrapped around my lungs, squeezing the air from them as I watch her. “I don’t think we have much of a choice on the matter.”
“That’s the problem with you right now. You can’t see that my family is an option. They’re going to protect us if I ask them to, even if they have no reason to trust you.” Jade looks back at me, pleading in her eyes. “This could be the answer if you’re even willing to even talk to them about it.”
“Sure, let’s just go ask your family—who also want to kill me—if they would be willing to protect me from Noah. Let’s just waltz over there and pretend that we wouldn’t be creating more problems by me turning my back on my own family.”
“You do realize you’re asking me to do the same by keeping me here?”
I grit my teeth. “Here is where I can protect you. Where I’m not watching over my shoulder for your brothers to stab me in the back the first chance they get.”
“No, instead you’d rather wait for your own cousin to do it.” She scoffs and gets up, going to the window and looking out over the city. “I can’t believe this is the life you want for yourself.”
“What else is there?”
“You don’t have to go to the fight. You could stay home. We could figure something else out. We could find you a job where you’re not going to die just because you’re too stubborn to want more for yourself!”
“Jade, this is my life. If you don’t like it, there’s the door.”
Her eyebrows climb high, her mouth dropping open. “Excuse me?”
I groan and tilt my head back.
Shouldn’t have said that. Shouldn’t have fucking said that.
Jade nods slowly, getting to her feet. “Well, if this is the way you want to deal with it, then maybe I will go spend the night at my sister’s, and you can call me when you’re done being a jackass.”
“You’re the one who started this!”
She throws her hands up in the air. “Because you won’t even consider another kind of life!”
I shove away from the wall, stalking toward her. “I don’t have a fucking choice! What part of ‘this is my life’ don’t you understand? I don’t have a choice.”
“You’re right,” Noah says as he steps into the room. “You don’t.”
He walks over to me with his hands in his pockets, eyeing Jade.
The hair on the back of my neck prickles.
All I want to do is get him away from her. I don’t want him to be standing this close to her and looking like he’s going to tear her head off.
Jade scowls at him. “Ever heard of fucking knocking?”
Noah rolls his eyes and turns to me. “You’re late.”
I rub the back of my neck. “I know. I should be done here in a couple of minutes.”
“Good.” Noah nods, not bothering to pay attention to Jade as she moves around behind him, eyeing the knife on the counter before opening one of the cupboards and crouching down to look through it.
“Fight’s in a couple of weeks. How much training are we going to have between now and then?”
Jade stands with a gun in her hand, glaring at me. “You don’t have to do the fight.”
Noah turns to look at her, his shoulders stiffening. “Yes, he does. Your family might let you get away with this shit, but not here.”
Jade’s finger wraps around the trigger as I stand at Noah’s side.
Her gaze cuts to me. “You don’t have to be at his beck and call your entire life. You can have a life of your own.”
I want to tell her that I won’t do it. I should tell her that I’m going to stay with her, even if it is just to get her to lower the gun. She doesn’t know the fire she’s playing with or what she’s stepping in the middle of.
“Jade, I—”
Noah pulls out a gun and whips around, pressing it to my head before she has a chance to do anything. “You want to think carefully about what you’re going to say next.”
Jade fires a shot just to the left of Noah’s head. “Step away from him.”
He laughs. “You’re not going to kill me. I could shoot him before dying, and we both know that. Now, Ezra, you’re going to be at that fucking fight whether you like it or not.”
My gaze locks with Jade, willing her to lower the gun. “I have to do this. He stands to gain a bunch of territory to the north if I win, and right now, we need that more than ever.”
Jade looks at me like she doesn’t know me, and that might be the most gut-wrenching part of this.
We made so much progress, but now I’m sending us back to the beginning. Back to when she found out I’m a completely different person than I pretend to be. Back to when she questioned if I would be the one to end her life.
Noah presses the gun closer to my head. “You’re going to be at that fight, and if you’re not, I’m going to kill her.”
My heart stops as I look at Jade and try to offer her every apology I can manage, though I can’t say a word.
She gives a small shake of her head, anger settling in.
Please don’t shoot him. Don’t make everything worse.
Jade’s finger wraps around the trigger once more as she takes aim.