21. Girlfriend Nanny
My gloved finger is in Josie’s mouth, checking to ensure her tongue tie ended up healing right, even though she got it done a while ago now.
“Healed up perfectly, didn’t you, Josie girl?
” I smile down at her, and I swear she pulls her little eyebrows together, and I know she’s thinking, Of course I did!
It’s been about a week since the scare with the fever, and you wouldn’t even know she was just in the hospital from whatever random virus got a hold of her. Babies are so resilient, but fuck is it scary when they’re sick.
Much to her annoyance, I start my tapping exercises to get her to be more aware of her mouth and tongue, and then we’re leading into a new food for the day.
This part always scares the shit out of Tatum because we’re working with actual food and not purees.
I’ve reassured her I have all the training, and she even bought one of the suction devices to use if something were to get lodged in her throat.
Josie picks up the strip of banana, babbling away, when I feel Tatum pressing her front into my back. “Mommy’s trying to distract me from my job, Jo Jo.”
We’re finding our routine, with Tatum working on her cam work and Josie and I staying busy throughout the day. We squeeze in therapy or exercises everywhere we can for Josie’s swallowing therapy, but she’s come so far from what her clinical notes state from when she was just a couple of weeks old.
“You’re so good with her, Lylah.” The sweet sigh of Tatum’s voice in my ear, and the praise is enough to have me blushing. But I keep my focus on the little one in front of me. This is Josie’s time, and as long as Tatum is paying me, I’ll be completing my tasks.
It hasn’t really been my job, per se; it’s more so just helping and being a partner at this point for Tatum. I question daily how the hell she was doing all of this on her own. Working, caring for a newborn, and still trying to take care of herself at the same time.
But like most moms, that last one gets left off the to-do list more often than not. That’s where I step in here. Yes, I’m Josie’s nanny, but my saying has always been, when mom’s happy, baby is happy.
And it rings true.
I try to change the subject and bring it back to a safer topic. “Are you done working for the day?”
“For now, I am. I just uploaded our video…” She had to edit the hell out of that one, but watching it back once she was done was one of the hottest things I’ve seen in a long time.
“Are they going crazy over it yet?” I don’t even know why I ask; I know for certain they’re going to.
“I have no clue. My phone’s on do not disturb, and it’s staying that way. I want to spend the rest of the day with my girls.”
Her girls…
And that we do.
It’s too easy to fall into this blissfulness of Tatum and the life she’s built for herself, but I keep telling myself that this isn’t mine.
Tomorrow, she could easily fire me and move on. Do I think she’s going to do that ?
No.
But I hate getting comfortable and opening up when it could all be ripped away from me within the blink of an eye.
“What’s that pretty head of yours worried about? You’re gonna get worry wrinkles with your eyebrows like that,” Tatum jokes, rubbing her thumb between my eyebrows, and I playfully shove at her arm. We’re down on the floor with Josie while she plays with her blocks.
“How this could all be taken away from me… at any time,” I whisper, too embarrassed that I even let these thoughts form in my head, let alone give them up so freely to her
“Baby girl… unless you want to leave of your own will, this is your home now. I don’t care how quick it’s been, or any other stupid societal norm that we’re supposed to follow. You fit with us perfectly. As a person. My person.”
Keeping my eyes on Josie playing with her blocks, squealing and so happy, tears quickly line my vision. Releasing a breath, I really take in Tatum’s words.
With my voice giving me away, I try to keep the emotion pushed down. “It’s been fast, but I truly do feel at home here with both of you. I just never want to seem like I’m forcing myself into your lives.”
“You’ve done nothing but make my life better. And Josie loves that you’re here. Quit overthinking, Bubbles.” She grabs my thigh, and when my eyes find hers, I see nothing but joy and admiration for me.
“And you’ll tell me if I ever overstep?”
“I don’t think you will, but yes. I’m a grown woman and am perfectly fine with communication, Lylah. I don’t know what you’re used to, but relationships shouldn’t be hard.”
I give her a smug smile. “Relationship, huh?” I giggle, then joke some more. “Does that make me your girlfriend?“
I laugh as she pushes my shoulders to the ground and straddles me. “Yes, that makes you my girlfriend. My nanny is my fucking girlfriend.”
“Mmm, the nanny could get used to hearing that.”
THE END.