4. A Great Shock
Chapter 4
A Great Shock
A fter we left the railway station, we traveled to the hotel where the Hales would remain. I stayed with them briefly, but then had to continue on, because I had come to live with Jane and Kitty.
Despite her being a governess, Jane was insistent on living with Kitty for a portion of each week, and they secured some small lodgings that was in Princeton, on Frances Street.
When I departed from the Hales, I finally was able to shamelessly look out of the chaise window to spy everything around me. This was easy to do, because the carriage had to stop frequently, due to traffic. The streets were larger and wider, but they were overcrowded with carts, wagons, omnibuses, and great-loaded lurries. Despite that I had visited the Gardiners and the Shaws in London quite often, this was still a new experience.
Everything around me was different! The heavy lumbering vehicles seemed various in their purposes, and intent. Every wagon, truck and van seemed to bear cotton, either in the raw shape in bags, or the woven shape in bales of calico.
Soon, we rode down High Street, which naturally was a main street that I believed I would frequent often.
Despite the apprehension of living in the North, a place that I was completely foreign to, there was a sense of exhilaration to it. After all, I was never afraid of difference. I was only ever afraid of having the wind knocked out of my confidence.
Naturally, one takes in the level of fashion as well as in the architecture. The casual person was dressed according to their station level. Those who worked had clothing of grayer and browner colors. And those who were more affluent clearly wore the fashions of London.
The more we rode through the town, the more I was made aware of how far my family had fallen, once both our parents died. And there was one thing that overwhelmed me. Due to the smoke and the natural climate of English weather, the principal color of Milton was gray . From the factories to the skies, to the clothing that the workers wore, even to the feeling of their faces against the industrial setting. It was gray . While it was visually striking, at first, I was still from the South. And more importantly, I was raised in the rolling hills and green dales of the country. I was used to color, actually, being all around. Hertfordshire got dismal weather every now and again, of course. Yet, it still maintained the illumination of country living. There was beauty. Here… was there any beauty of any sort?
Then I considered what the Hales were experiencing. While they lived at a parsonage, our experiences were similar. We both lived in rural areas for a significant portion of our lives, and we had preferred that lifestyle.
Eventually, the chaise turned along a side street and I began to see that Frances Street was…an area of town where the working class lived. And not the laborers who lived in a bit of luxury that had bits of wealth dripping over the edges of their purse. Oh no. This was evidently the residences of people who worked for their entire lives and had little to show for it.
This was where I was to live? This was where Jane and Kitty resided?
In that moment, I wondered if perhaps Mary and Lydia had been correct all along. But no! I knew, very well, that I could not marry unless I were very much in love, which I was not. Nor was I likely to ever be so, at such a rate. And as to Mary, I was not meant to be a factory worker. Even though mother made certain that we all were experienced enough, it was just not my habit. To be sure, I knew that I would make poor work of it.
When the chaise pulled up in front of Three Frances Street, I stepped out of it, and was immediately met by a distinct smell. It nearly overpowered me, but I was not the sort who fainted from fumes, so I looked at the small lodgings that were before me. As I did so, a couple of men passed by me. Their jackets, hats, waistcoats, and trousers were all a dark gray color, and their shirts were dingy. Two of them were smoking a pipe and they looked over my figure without shame or pretense.
“Well, aren’t you a right bonny face?” One of them asked.
“Aye, to look on ya!” another one of them said. “Light against the smoke.”
“You must be related to the two beauties in that there house,” the third said, gesturing to the house in front of me. “Another looker to tempt us all to dream, eh?”
I smiled bashfully and looked at the ground, feeling flushed. I was not accustomed to such blatant compliments. It made me very apprehensive. We all want compliments, but they can be so very overpowering sometimes. And other times, they are frightening.
I looked up at the window that was on the second floor, and I saw two faces rush to the window.
Jane and Kitty!
They both waved to me eagerly and then I saw Kitty’s face disappear, followed by Jane. Being quicker of step and more active, Kitty ran down the steps to greet me first. Soon, the front door opened, and Kitty rushed out of it, followed by Jane.
“Elizabeth!” they cried.
Laughing, we all embraced each other warmly. Whatever the scene we found ourselves in, we were together. As such, we were home.
They helped me bring in all my luggage and I finally got to see the interior.
To my utter happiness, the interior did not match the exterior. The house was small—literally, when you entered, there was no vestibule, but you were immediately in the parlor, and the second room was the kitchen, with a very small room behind it, to use as the privy.
“It looks lovely in here,” I commented. The floors had dark brown wood. There was a lovely table, in the middle of the room, with five chairs that we were able to steal from our home. All the chairs had been given cushions and chair covers on it to add to the comfort. There was a bouquet of flowers that were in the middle of the table. The kitchen had a good fireplace, bee-hive oven, food storage areas, counters for food preparation, and a pickling area. It was all well organized.
“Our parents may not have been able to give us much when they passed away,” Jane explained, “but they gave us enough to help me ensure that we don’t live in destitution. Father couldn’t leave us much, but he left us just enough.”
“And there is no need to worry over upstairs,” Kitty informed me, “we did our best to make it equally as cozy. There is color everywhere. We live the gray outside, so we refused to live it on the inside.”
“That is the dream that I was hoping to walk into,” I noted as I removed my coat, scarf, and bonnet. “For a moment, I was worried that the lack of Milton’s colors had taken you both over, and I would be met with gray from within.”
When I stood before them, we looked each other over.
“You both look very well, and lovely,” I noted.
“So do you,” Jane replied eagerly. Indeed, I was happy to see them still have life, vitality, and bloom to them.
“Has it been very hard for you?” I asked as they began to make me some coffee. I let my bags remain on the floor for a moment, and they let me not tend to them, because I was just so eager to see them again and hear about their lives. “To be in this town.”
“It was hard at first,” Jane began, “oh, bless me. It was such a shock, wasn’t it, Kitty?”
“Yes, it was,” Kitty confirmed, boiling the water, “it felt like everything was happening at once, and it was overpowering. So very overpowering and intimidating. I thought I would never stop crying, for a time.”
This comment surprised me.
“I didn’t know that you were still downhearted.”
“You speak as if I have no feeling,” Kitty said, “Elizabeth, do not be so unkind so early into being here.”
“Oh, you know what I meant,” I said, swiping the air with my hand. I knew very well that she was not serious. “It is simply that, when our parents died, you were the best at enduring it.”
“I believe it was shock,” Jane informed me. “That’s what I believe.”
“Jane has a theory,” Kitty informed me. “That when our parents died, I was so stunned that it was hard for me to process the emotion of it. Or perhaps it was denial. Perhaps, my brain did not accept that they were fully gone. But after a few months, it began to occur to me that they were, and then I really began to feel it.”
“On our first week here, I found her weeping in her room every night,” Jane told me.
“Jane!”
“I am happy that you underwent it, little one,” Jane assured her, “that is why I tell Elizabeth. Besides, I do believe that she needs to know about it.”
“Indeed, I do,” I confirmed. “Kitty, you were suffering?”
“Yes,” Kitty said, finishing making the coffee. “I suppose that I was. It just took me longer than the rest of you.”
She poured us a cup and we all began to drink it.
“How are our Aunt and Uncle Gardiner?” Jane asked.
“They are doing very well. They, naturally, worry about you both being here.”
“Never fear,” Kitty asserted. “We have learned that one can live without a man in the house and be safe. Besides, we have so many neighbors here who are aware of us, and with there being an inn right across the street, there is not much danger. After all, how much can a criminal get away with if there are always people to come running when they hear a woman scream?”
“Yes, we have learned of the safety in numbers,” Jane summed up. “Of course, they are Milton men and women, who have a different way of speaking, behaving and acting. But once you get used to their habits, you will find them charming.”
“I like everyone here,” Kitty confirmed. “They are not afraid to talk about things. I like people who talk, even if the talk is crude. Anything is better than awkward nothings. Also, you traveled with the Hales?”
“Yes, they are at the hotel. By any chance, is that the hotel that you work at?”
“Yes, it is.” Kitty smiled happily. “Today is my day off, but tomorrow, when I work, I am sure to cross paths with them. Most of my employers have no qualms of me talking to the guests, as long as I keep to my hours and responsibilities.”
“How is Mrs. Hale?” Jane asked. “I recall her being a delightful woman who is very delicate. How does she find Milton?”
“I worry that this town might be a little trying to her health,” I observed. “I worry about her now. Although she does still have Mr. Hale and Margaret. They both can endure much. I know they will look after her, and of course, she still has Dixon.”
“I had a feeling that she would,” Kitty replied. “That woman is tied to Mrs. Hale as if she was her mother.”
“Dixon is loyal and affectionate,” Jane said, “those are fine qualities.”
“Speaking of fine qualities,” I remarked, “what of the family who employs you?”
“The Kirkpatricks?”
“Are they still a lovely family to work for?”
“Yes. Their three children can be a little spirited sometimes, but that is the way that children ought to be. And they are a very good sort, who are rising above the most trying age of childhood. Also, the Kirkpatricks always have me driven home in their chaise and four whenever I am to stay with them.”
“Very kind of them!”
“Indeed, they are.”
“And what about you, Kitty?”
“Whenever I leave the hotel, I am always walking home with other women and men who work there. Because of such, I never go home alone, but with a crowd.”
“Come!” Jane said, grabbing my hand. “See what we did with the kitchen!”
“Very well,” I replied, merry from being in their presence.
One should not compare what was to what is, or one will be set up for the grandest of disappointments!
Therefore, I was resolved to suppress all my expectations when looking at the kitchen that now belonged to us. It was inferior to the one that we had at Longbourn in every way. It was small, cramped and there was perhaps only room for two people to cook at once—and even then, they had to economize with the room that they took up.
However, it was clean and had all that one needed to prepare a meal, which was all that one could hope for. Therefore, I smiled and complimented my sisters on a job well done.
“When staying with the Gardiners and the Shaws,” I explained, “I took it upon myself to continue perfecting my cooking skills. Therefore, you need not worry about making meals again. I can do that.”
“We expected that of you,” Jane said. “You are not the sort to leaf and loaf about when duties need to be done.”
“We were of the suspicion that you would wish to cook, because we know how you despise cleaning,” Kitty said.
“Precisely!” I admitted. “I despise it to an excruciating degree. I will cook, but that is the extent of my contribution.”
“Never fear,” Jane said, “I purchase all the food and Kitty cleans everything. Our dowries pay for the rent.”
“And our extra income is used for to put into our savings,” Jane explained. “We have control over our account that we have safely set up at the bank.”
“Have you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “We are all made of stronger stuff than anyone thought. Of that, we can boast much about, if not for our own fortune.”
“It is Mr. Bell’s doing,” Kitty rushed out, taking a mango out and beginning to cut it.
“Is that a mango?” I asked, amazed.
“Yes, it is. We get mangos now. Fortunately, the markets get more imports here than we got in the country.” She returned back to her original subject. “We really must thank Mr. Hale again for introducing us to Mr. Bell. Once we came to Milton, Mr. Bell helped us arrange our affairs at a bank that we could trust. Since it’s the same bank that organize his accounts, we know that we are safe when it comes to our financial distribution and interest.”
“We don’t have much to spend by the way of pin money,” Jane added, “because we wish to save as much to one day at least get lodgings in a better area of town.”
“Aye,” I said, “Mr. Bell must’ve wept when he realized that Frances Street was the best we could do. You and Kitty were always great favorites of his.”
“You exaggerate,” Jane inferred, “he treasured you the most. We were just respectable by association.”
“Do you think Mr. Bell will visit soon?” Kitty asked eagerly. “I wish to see him again.”
“Mr. Bell is a wealthy and independent Oxford academic,” I pointed out. “The South is his oyster, and the rest of the world is a diversion. And from the little that I have seen of Milton, why would he want to visit such a place so often?”
“To be among friends,” Jane stressed. “Mr. Bell is a lively man, and he is considerate of his acquaintances.”
“But that’s just the point. He is the sort of man that can make friends or buy them by way of his prestige. Will he choose friends who live in a happier situation and a happier place?”
“You don’t like Milton, do you?” Kitty asked.
I sat down in our one, and ONLY, parlor. Rubbing my forehead, I felt the exhaustion of the truth rising up within me.
“How can I?” I asked. “How can I ever love living in such a place?”
After my declaration, Jane and Kitty gave each other an apprehensive look.
“Of course,” I furthered, “there is the novelty of seeing a new place, but when that wears off, what else is there?”
“Elizabeth…” Jane began, but I cut in.
“No, none of that,” I stated. “There is no need to look at me as a spooked animal. You both know that I am not made for ill-humor or low spirits. Therefore, come back to me in half an hour, and I will be a changed woman.” Then I blinked. “Or fifteen seconds in this case.”
I chuckled.
“Yes. This is our fate, and I will meet it with fortitude.”
“Soon, you shall become accustomed to it,” Kitty augmented. “Personally, I find some excitement at being in such a bustling place.”
“The activity will eventually rouse you and you will be curious over it,” Jane said.
“Yes, I just might be. Well, Elizabeth Bennet has come to the North. May there be no more surprises. I shall unpack.”
“We will help you.”
“Before that…” I said, removing Mary’s letters from my purse. “Mary says hello and that she is thinking of you both.”
We all sat down and read Mary’s letters, which expressed her life at the factory and her well-wishes.
Afterwards, they helped take my things upstairs and we soon found the room in disarray as I had to decide where to put my items. Despite that Jane was the eldest and deserved her own room, our bond naturally made her feel compelled to have us share. This left Kitty, to her surprise, the freedom of still having her own room, which suited her tastes.
“Tomorrow I will go to the hotel with you, Kitty,” I said, “and call on the Hales. Margaret and Mr. Hale will be going house-hunting tomorrow. I said I would go with them.”
“Did Mr. Bell help them with their selection?” Kitty asked as she pulled out two Indian shawls from my bag, put them on and twirled around as she looked at herself in the mirror.
“He did, but they also discovered some lodging options in the Milton Times.” My brow furrowed as I tried to remember the name of the other gentleman who had proven to be of assistance. “There was another man who helped seek out proper residences for them. His name was Mr. Thornton, I believe.”
“Oh, Mr. Thornton!” Jane said. “Mr. Darcy’s friend?”
I stood up with alacrity. All sense of disbelief filled my senses, but at the same time, I felt as if my hearing was true.
“Mr. Darcy?” I gasped.
“Yes.” Jane’s cheeks became somewhat flushed. “Forgive us for not mentioning it before—after all, we knew that it would not be news that you would look forward to hearing. Mr. Thornton and Mr. Darcy are acquaintances—and this is confirmed because Mr. Darcy has come to visit him.”
My insides froze over—all physical sensation began to leave me under the weight of this sudden and disturbing revelation.
“Mr. Darcy is here in Milton?”
“Yes, he is.”
Heaven help me!