5. Pains & Fears
Chapter 5
Pains & Fears
“ M iss Elizabeth Bennet?” Mr. Darcy repeated, after hearing Fanny Thornton tell him the name. Since Fanny was friends with Jane Bennet, naturally they were in each other’s confidence. While it is improper for any lady to divulge too much of their friend’s information, Mr. Darcy knew that Fanny would easily make an exception for him. Despite it all, she and Caroline Bingley were very much two of a kind. When Fanny had finished telling him that Jane Bennet’s sister, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, would be joining her in Milton, he wanted to know everything.
“Yes,” Fanny said, eager to please Mr. Darcy. “But Miss Elizabeth is not to be a governess, like Jane, or a chambermaid, like Kitty. No, she is to be a notetaker.”
“A notetaker?” Mr. Darcy asked, his brow turning sterner. “She is to work?”
“Well, of course, she is to work. After all, her parents are now dead, so all the sisters have to earn a living.”
When hearing this, Darcy leaned back in his chair, in concerned contemplation. It was a great curiosity, and he must know everything.
“You seem desirous to learn everything there is to know about these Bennet sisters, Mr. Darcy?” Fanny asked, getting a look in her eye as if she had smelled something rotten.
“When I remained in Hertfordshire for a time, I gathered a wider acquaintance with them.”
“Well, one would not have considered it as such. When dear Jane was here before, you only spoke five short sentences with her before you made quite the hasty retreat.”
“I did it out of a desire to be tactful. The surprise I received from her appearance rendered me somewhat perplexed. As a result, I had no notion of how to approach any subject. Therefore, Miss Thornton, I apply to you now.”
He sat down on the opposite sofa in the Thornton’s sitting room, with Mrs. Thornton sewing in another corner of the room, minding their conversation, but never interrupting it.
Seeing that Mr. Darcy saw her as an authority figure on this subject, Fanny rose to her full height, sat erect in her seat, and began to explain.
“Well, they belong to those old-fashioned homes that were entailed to the male line.”
“Their estate was called Longbourn,” Darcy clarified.
“Yes! Well, their parents died in a horrible carriage accident and that left their cousin, Mr. Collins, to inherit the estate. After all, he was the only eligible man in the family to gain their home. When he did so, he allowed the sisters to stay for a time, but it was everyday implied that they needed to seek their accommodations.”
“He passively removed them from their own home.”
“Precisely.”
Mr. Darcy leaned back in his seat, with fire in his eyes. He recalled how Mr. Collins had danced with Elizabeth at Mr. Bingley’s ball at Netherfield Park. In an act of romantic misplacement, Mr. Collins had secured Elizabeth’s hand for the first two dances. Watching the scene with much inner disquiet, Darcy had to wait for an hour before he could ask Elizabeth Bennet again. The wait was a miserable time for him. And the dance with Elizabeth itself proved to be the bittersweet kind. It did not satisfy him, but it also left him wanting more.
And now, that same cousin who doted on Elizabeth Bennet, for the sake of making her his wife, had now changed his objective, married another woman, and had turned the Bennet sisters out of their home soon after their parents had left them.
The whole incident made Darcy feel sick.
“Mr. Darcy?” Fanny asked, confused.
Mr. Darcy casually and sternly shifted his features and tried to return to a less potent expression.
“Forgive me, did I startle you?”
“Yes, for a moment,” Fanny replied, with a penetrating look. Knowing that there was something that she was not being told, she wanted to know of it. “How much were you acquainted with this family?”
“There was a neighboring estate that was not far from theirs, Netherfield Park. My friend, Mr. Bingley, rented the establishment for a time and I visited him there. While I was a guest, Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth stayed there for a week. Miss Bennet was friends to Mr. Bingley’s sister, and when she came to visit, she fell ill and had to stay there till she recovered. Anxious for her sister’s health, Miss Elizabeth walked to Netherfield to tend to her.”
“Walked? Oh, so the houses were very close.”
“There was a three-mile distance between both estates.”
Fanny’s eyes widened.
“Three miles?”
“Yes.”
Fanny’s mouth fell open, in disbelief. Out of the corner of his eye, Mr. Darcy saw Mrs. Thornton lowering her sewing, curious about this Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
“Well,” Fanny said, “I suppose that is what it must be like in country counties in the South. You must have been alarmed. A lady in London, or the ton, would not have done such a thing.”
“No, they would not. Miss Elizabeth is known for being a great walker.”
“When has there ever been an award for that?” Fanny laughed.
“Fanny!” Mrs. Thornton chastised her daughter. “Walking is beneficial exercise for some. I’ve walked further in my life, if I needed to. You would have Mr. Darcy think us to be frivolous creatures, so easily puffed about.”
“Mrs. Thornton,” Mr. Darcy responded, “I have been well-acquainted with your constitution. As a result, I would never think any such thing of you or your family.”
“Kind words, sir.”
“Thank you.”
“Also, I must know,” Mr. Darcy questioned casually, “where does Miss Bennet reside? Since I am acquainted with them, it is fitting that I pay my respects there.”
Fanny gave her mother a look and they looked down at the floor.
“What is the matter?” he asked.
“They rent lodgings…at 321 Frances Street,” Mrs. Thornton answered.
When hearing this, Mr. Darcy cracked his knuckles, quietly enraged.
“Frances Street,” he echoed, his tone deep and hollow.
“Yes.”
“By the Goulden Dragon Pub?”
“Yes.”
Mr. Darcy stood up and walked to the window, staring out of it.
“Jane doesn’t tell me everything about what her life was like before her parents died,” Fanny elaborated, “however, I gathered that Longbourn was a lovely enough home.”
“It was,” Darcy replied, his voice intense, “it was a great deal larger than anything that could be found on Frances Street.”
“Then that means that they have fallen far down in society.”
“Yes, very far. They were raised as ladies, daughters of a man of landed gentry. All of that has been stripped from them.”
“People have been known to rise again,” Mrs. Thornton said.
“Men have been known to,” Mr. Thornton said, re-entering, “with women, it is not so very simple.”
“No, it is not,” Mrs. Thornton confirmed.
“They have only the chance of marrying well,” Fanny said. “Jane would have had a chance at it, but there may be no chance of marrying now. After all, she is now a governess.”
“Governesses are not universally disliked, Fanny,” Mr. Thornton responded, “any chance will always exist. Darcy, I have to be returning to my Mill.”
“And, thus, concludes my visit,” Mr. Darcy said, with such finality, that no one would dare persuade him to stay. “Thornton, I shall leave with you.”
“Very well.”
Mr. Darcy offered his farewells and departed with his friend.
As Darcy got to his carriage, he turned to Thornton, who immediately began to expound on his sister’s attitude.
“Sometimes, I feel as if Fanny forgets that we were poor for the longest time. Our position in society comes from being self-made.”
“But you and she are correct,” Darcy acknowledged. “Most likely, the only way that the Bennet sisters can rise to the same position they were born into is if they marry well. If they even want to marry.”
“I never met a woman who did not entertain the idea of matrimony.”
“You and I have had very different experiences with women.”
Darcy saw Marlborough Mills up ahead. His time with Thornton was ending, and he needed to know something before he rode away. After all, he owed Mr. Bingley this much.
“Thornton, I must ask you about the true meaning behind something that you once said.”
“About what?”
“About Miss Jane Bennet. You came to her defense, declaring that her new profession did not imply that she was below being proposed to. I wish to know. Did you make that remark out of compassion and logic—or do you feel for her?”
“For Miss Bennet?”
“Yes.”
Thornton chuckled.
“Darcy, you don’t know me at all, it seems.”
Mr. Darcy raised an eyebrow.
“Do I not?”
“No. If I were in love, I would think you would know it immediately.”
“Would I? You and I have a habit of being very good at hiding what we feel.”
“But for me, not in this case. That is the strange thing. Miss Bennet is a superior woman in every way, and yet—I do not feel anything. I ought to, but I don’t.”
Mr. Darcy sighed inwardly, relieved. The last thing he needed was for Mr. Thornton to fall in love with Jane, knowing that Mr. Bingley was still very much in love with her. After all, nothing could be worse than one friend falling in love with the past love of another.
“I understand your feelings,” Darcy confirmed. “And I agree.”
“So, you are not moved by her beauty either?”
“I mark her beauty, but I do not stir under it.”
“I do not believe that love is something I will ever obtain, and my indifference to her beauty is confirmation of that. I do not think I will ever marry.”
“I felt that way once.”
“What happened?”
“Life.”
The men walked to Marlborough Mills and Thornton had to go back to his duties.
“Do you wish to dine tomorrow night at the hotel?” Darcy asked.
“I cannot, unfortunately. Tomorrow will be spent between my mill and inquiring after lodgings for a new tenant. When I finish, I will want to return home and rest. But if you visit the Mill in the afternoon, at 12:15, then we can partake in a luncheon.”
“Very well.”
“Till tomorrow.”
“Till tomorrow.”
Both men parted.
Now that he was alone, Darcy walked back to his carriage and proceeded to the hotel. Everything that took place outside of the chaise was like a blur. The figures that walked to and fro lacked definition. The scenery was smeared. His thoughts, feelings and self-assurance were seized once more.
Frances Street!
That was where Miss Elizabeth Bennet would now live. He should have felt elated at this news. After all, if she had accepted him, then this would have never happened. He would have been able to save her and her sisters from destitution or having to earn their living. But no! She refused him and therefore, she suffered the bitter pill that was ‘retribution.’
Despite the knowledge of justice being served, he felt no satisfaction. Rather, he only felt a deeper sorrow for the state of her present condition. Elizabeth deserved better than to live there.
“You are still in love with her, Darcy,” he uttered to himself. “You have conquered nothing. And you probably never will recover from this. But I will tell myself that I will, rather. It is the only way to continue on.”
Darcy made his way to the hotel he was to stay, had the grandest room preserved for himself and was left to peace and solitude.