Chapter 37
THIRTY-SEVEN
margaret
Gideon stood in front of the group like the terrifying, unapproachable, mysterious leader of the defiance we all expected.
But that was beside the point and definitely not what I was supposed to be focusing on.
I digressed.
The fire outside our little stone-clad hideout in the city illuminated his chiseled face, but also ignited the rest of the faces in the circle.
Determined faces. Angry faces. The people around us were ready to fight. Ready to put their lives on the line for the cause.
My chest swelled. I had never been a fighter—I left all that to Elijah. But these people made me want to be a warrior. And they actually believed in me. They didn’t look at me like a stupid, mindless girl. They looked at me like I belonged. Like I might be one of them.
And that felt good.
“Tonight, we’ll be invading the city in hopes of intercepting the mystics engaged in the war games,” Gideon started. The fire crackling against wood echoed in the silence. “I need you. Each of you.” He scanned the room, and when he got to me and paused, my knees wobbled.
“We’re here,” Benedict replied, chest puffed in his classic I’m a hero and I love it way. “Tell us what you need and we’ll do it.”
Katherine lingered a step behind him. I couldn’t tell if she wanted this.
There was apprehension there, but not full-out disdain.
It wasn’t clear whether she wanted to fight against the Ministry, and she hadn’t given me a straight answer.
But I had hope. She’d joined us on this trip, and she hadn’t argued about the situation.
Not to mention she’d seen that mass grave, too.
If she hadn’t changed her mind by then, there was a good chance that had finally changed her.
Maybe she was finally ready to join us in the non-insane or horrifically brainwashed side of the mystic world.
Gideon paced the far side of the fire. “My men will lead the way. We’ve already established routes into the city, so that won’t be a concern. But we’ll be on the lookout for other mystics—ones who won’t be happy to see us. That’s the biggest danger here.”
“What about them?” Katherine chimed in. “Do we convince them to come with us?”
“It’s no use.” He sighed, his brow furrowed. “If they’ve already begun the slaughter, there’s no convincing them otherwise. Our mission here is to extract Athena and Sinner.”
“So, then what do we do if we come across other mystics?” Katherine pushed. “Kill them? Because they’re fighting for a cause they’ve been told is right?”
My chest tightened. Ah, crap. Conflict always triggered my flight response. But Gideon didn’t even blink. He didn’t lose his temper. He didn’t scramble to try to make Katherine understand his motives.
He calmly and simply said, “If they try to kill us, then yes, we’ll kill them first. This is a dangerous mission, Katherine. And that’s why we need you. Your healing powers will be invaluable.”
She pressed her lips into a firm line, her head tilting to one side. Was she…was she actually attempting to understand Gideon’s line of thinking? I’d never seen a look like that from her before.
Hey! Maybe there really was something left to salvage in that bitchy little body of hers after all.
Benedict sure seemed to think so.
With a look of longing and pride, he focused on his claimed, and added, “She’ll be there. And so will I. Will we be jumping back to the safe house when we find them?”
“If all goes as planned, yes, you’ll be jumping us all back,” Gideon told him. “So conserve your energy. Once we intercept the games, the Ministry will be alerted to our presence. They’re keeping a close eye on their mystics. We must be quick. Is that something you can handle?”
Benedict swallowed. “Of course,” he said. “I’ve got my claimed here, too. I’ll be strong enough.”
“Good.”
My heart pinched at Benedict’s mention of his claimed. I had a soft spot for Benedict. I really did. He’d hated Katherine when I met him, but their dynamic had changed entirely in the couple of weeks we’d spent with the defiance.
Was I jealous?
Maybe. Or maybe their difficult relationship had given me solace. Because it proved that not every mystic in the entire damn world needed to claim in order to be happy.
But here they were now. Claimed. And happy.
“There is no room for mistakes here,” Gideon said. “I chose you all to join me for a reason. Now’s the time to show me you have what it takes to fight on our side.”
The handful of men—Carter included—grunted in agreement. Unease and excitement electrified the air.
This was it.
We were getting them back.
“Get some rest while you can,” he finished. “We’ll start our march across the city when the moon reaches its apex.”
The group quietly dispersed, talking amongst themselves while they perched around the warm fire. A couple of the guys pulled dried meat and bread from their bags. Katherine and Benedict snuck away to do things I surely didn’t want to know about.
And Gideon casually circled the fire until he stood next to me, his arm brushing mine as I gazed into the flames.
“What about me?” I asked. “What do you need me to do tonight?”
He turned and faced me. I did the same, like he was some sort of magnetic magician who controlled the small sliver of self-control I possessed.
He searched my face, reading every inch with a spine-chilling seriousness. “I need you to stay by my side.”
My breath hitched at the intensity of his words. “What for? Why me?”
The toe of his boot hit mine as he took a tiny step forward. He craned down to look at me, his hands trailing up my wrists, my elbows, my shoulders, until he was delicately cupping each side of my neck.
We were surrounded by his men, but no one dared to make a comment about how close we were. No one dared to snicker or stare.
This was the terrifying leader of the defiance, after all.
“You are the secret to everything, Margaret. You just don’t know it yet.”
Blood rushed to my face as he held me there, looking at me like a long-lost lover. He really knew how to make a woman sweat, that was certain.
But I was nothing to him. Not really, anyway.
I was simply a random girl staring at his sharp jawline, his perfectly plump lips, his too-smooth skin. I let myself really study him this time, taking in the way the firelight sharpened his features.
He was perfect. The most perfect man I’d ever seen.
For the first time, I noticed a sliver of a black marking creeping out from the neckline of his shirt. “What is that?” I asked, unable to stop myself.
He paused, frowning like he was reluctant to explain. But eventually he stepped back and gripped the hem of his black T-shirt and pulled it up his torso.
My knees wobbled and I was pretty sure my heart skipped a beat. Okay, I wasn’t fishing for a peek at this man’s ridiculously chiseled abs, I swear, but they were right. There.
So I surveyed them thoroughly, probably looking like a complete idiot and very likely drooling.
“It’s the mark of the defiance,” he said. “All my warriors have one.”
Breath hitching, I forced my attention to his upper chest and traced the delicate, raised lines of the intricate symbol.
“Did it hurt?” I asked.
“It isn’t nearly as painful as what the Ministry’s done to me. All they’ve taken. The pain of the burn was almost cleansing. It’s a brand of loyalty. A remembrance of why we’re fighting so hard to end this, even when it seems impossible.”
Tears welled in my eyes. I had my emotional moments in life, sure, but this was…different. This felt like a turning point for me.
He felt like a turning point. Like my life would never go back to the way it was.
“I want one.” The words rolled off my lips before I’d thought about them.
But I wouldn’t take them back.
Gideon dropped his shirt, and I snapped my head up.
“I’ll have Valerea give you one when we’re back in the valley.”
“No,” I said, pulling my shoulders back. “We have a fire right here, don’t we? If I’m going to risk my life in this fight, I want it to be official.” I swallowed, willing my voice not to waver as I added, “I want to be one of you. I want the brand.”
When Gideon didn’t immediately shut me down, I mentally added it to the very long list of reasons I was probably falling in love with him.
“It will last forever,” he said. “There’s no going back once you do this.”
“Good,” I said. “I don’t want to go back. I never want to go back to the life I had before I met you.”
And the defiance, but I left that part out. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem fazed by my admission. In fact, I could have sworn excitement glittered in his dark eyes.
He turned and called out to one of his men, who immediately dropped what he was doing and rushed over. “What’s up?”
“Margaret wants the brand. Tonight.”
The man’s eyes lit up as he looked to me. The joy and pride in his expression were contagious. I had to force myself not to giggle in excitement.
“Can you make it happen?” Gideon asked. “I want it to be perfect. No lazy work. No shortcuts.”
The man looked me up and down, then nodded. “I’ve got everything we need.”
With a smile, Gideon clapped the man on the shoulder. “I knew you’d be the man for the job. Come on, then. We don’t have much time.”
The guy barked a few orders to the others, and five minutes later, I was sitting next to the fire on a concrete block, really trying not to pee my pants—from nerves more than excitement.
But I wanted this. There was no denying that.
The more the fire sizzled and cracked, the harder it was not to think about how much this would hurt.
“Not nervous, are you?” Gideon whispered in my ear from behind.
I definitely peed a little as I jumped in my seat. But I played it cool, shaking my head. “Nope. Not nervous at all.”
“Good.” His lips brushed the side of my neck, and then his hands were on my ribs. “Because there’s no need. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.”
The others were busy cleaning a knife—which they would apparently heat, then press into my skin to make the mark.
When he was satisfied, he passed it off to the man Gideon had tasked with this duty.
“Ready for this?” he asked as he made his way over.
I nodded, wordless.
“Good. You’re one of us now.” He said the words with a smile, and any lingering doubts I had about this decision vanished. “Where do you want it?”
I angled my body toward the man with the scary knife and lifted my shirt, exposing my ribs. “Here,” I said.
Rather than shy or bashful, I felt empowered. The man looked at my body with nothing but focus and respect, nodding. “You got it. Make yourself comfortable. These guys are going to help keep you still, okay?”
Gideon was a firm wall behind me, now enveloping my entire back, but two other guys approached and kneeled on either side of me.
Okay. Now I was starting to get nervous. Yep.
Gideon’s hands ghosted over mine. He held my shirt up and gripped my bare upper bits, fingers brushing just below my breasts.
“They’ll hold on to you,” he whispered against my ear.
As if they’d been waiting for permission, the men each put a hand on my upper thigh and the other on my shoulder. Again, they were nothing but respectful, but I couldn’t help but realize how intimate this was.
This wasn’t a simple transaction. It wasn’t a simple mark.
We would be connected forever after this, part of a force much greater than any of us.
“Ready?” the man with the knife asked, searching my face.
I swallowed. Then nodded. “Yes,” I breathed.
That was a lie. A huge, bald-faced lie. Because when that heated metal touched my skin, I nearly punched all four of those men in the face.
Pain blinded me. I didn’t even have the breath to scream as they held me down, pinning me against Gideon’s strong body.
“Breathe,” he ordered, his mouth at my ear again.
I writhed against him and ground my teeth.
“Breathe, Margaret.”
The hot steel didn’t leave my body. The man worked delicately and quickly, but he was just getting started.
And I regretted everything.
I tried to follow Gideon’s instruction. I tried to suck in a breath, but the metal shifted, and pain exploded through me again.
Fire pulsated through my torso and my hips bucked of their own accord, but a firm hand was there, holding me down.
Gideon slipped one of his hands into my hair and gripped lightly, forcing my head back until it rested on his shoulder.
He exchanged a few words with the other men, but I was too busy trying not to pass out to focus on what anyone said.
Then, he was back in my ear. “We’re going to distract you, okay? Just focus on us. It’ll be over soon.”
My heart lurched. Distract me? There was no distraction in the world that would be effective in a time like this.
Or so I thought. But I quickly changed my mind as hands roamed my body.
The first thing I noticed—aside from the agonizing torture at my ribs—was Gideon’s hot mouth on my neck.
I gasped at the sensation, and for a split second, I wasn’t focused on that knife. He kissed, licked, nibbled at the sensitive flesh there in a way that melted me. I leaned further into him, giving him permission for more.
But that wasn’t all.
The hands were still firm on my body, yet they moved in a purposeful, pleasurable way.
The burning pain faded. It was still there, but the sensation had dulled enough to keep me from flinching when the knife was adjusted on my skin.
I pressed back into Gideon and let myself surrender to the men.
I wasn’t this person. But, then again, maybe I was?
Hands roamed my body, touching me in ways I’d never been touched before.
And it unleashed a need in me I never wanted to tame again.
But as quickly as it started, it was over, and the men stood and nodded respectfully to Gideon. Then they sauntered back into the safe house.
Leaving me alone next to the fire with this gorgeous man, heat flushing my cheeks, and my ribs throbbing.
“So, what do we do now?” I sat up straight, making sure my arm didn’t brush against his. I mean—
This was new for me.
If Gideon picked up on any awkwardness, he didn’t show it.
“We have a couple hours until the moon reaches its peak. We’ll march into the city then, hoping to the wicked god above that we find them before it’s too late. Or before anyone else finds us.”
I turned to face him fully, fire igniting my bones.
I would find them. I would not fail.