Chapter 35
CALLIE
Iwoke to morning light streaming through the windows, the ocean glittering beyond. Maddox’s arm was draped across my waist, his chest pressed against my back. Even in sleep, he held me like I was something precious.
I shifted, and immediately felt him tense. His breathing changed.
“Hey,” I said softly, turning to face him. His eyes searched mine with careful intensity. He was hopeful but guarded, readying himself for bad news.
“Hey.” His voice was soft. “How are you feeling?”
I knew what he was really asking: did I wake up regretting last night?
“I’m feeling fantastic,” I said, smiling.
The relief that washed over his face was so naked. His arm tightened around me.
“God, Callie. I was so worried you’d wake up and...”
“I know.” I kissed him softly. “But I didn’t.”
He pulled back to look at me properly. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this. Waking up next to you.” A sad smile crossed his face. “I can’t believe I didn’t appreciate the way you light up every morning. Until I wasn’t seeing it anymore. I’ll never take it for granted again.”
I felt myself relaxing further. This was so different from the Maddox I’d been married to.
“So… what happens now?” he asked tentatively.
That was a big question, daunting to answer fully. For now, I just wanted to live in the moment. “We enjoy the weekend. That was the plan.”
Suddenly, I recalled that the actual specifics had been that I would enjoy the weekend by rotating a lineup of my favorite hook-up partners in and out all weekend. Jake was probably getting ready to drive over right now!
“Oh gods!” I blurted, grabbing my phone and typing out a quick, apologetic cancellation to Jake. And Dante. And Aaron. And Colt.
Next to me, Maddox’s expression eased. His relief was palpable. “It was torture to see you with those guys.”
“I know the feeling,” I said, thinking of all his mistress text threads.
My words came out much sharper than I had intended. He flinched, and I felt a wave of guilt for puncturing the bliss of the moment.
But best to set it aside and move forward.
I threw back the covers. “Time for breakfast. I’m starving.”
He was already moving. “I’ll get started. It won’t be overnight crème br?lée, but I could make a simpler French toast. I can also do eggs, or—”
“Maddox. You don’t have to do all that anymore. The servant thing. The elaborate breakfasts.”
“I know I don’t have to. But I want to. You deserve it.”
I studied him. Only sincerity in his eyes.
“Okay. But at least let me help.”
His face lit up. “You want to cook together?”
We pulled on T-shirts and shorts and made our way to the kitchen.
Maddox pulled ingredients from the refrigerator while I started the coffee.
The domesticity of it caught me off guard.
This was what I’d imagined our life would be like when we got married.
We’d had it for a little bit, but not for a long time since.
Now he was explaining his French toast technique with genuine enthusiasm, letting me take over the caramelizing. We moved around each other with easy familiarity.
“We make a good team,” he said, wrapping his arms around me from behind.
After breakfast, we headed for the beach. The air carried a crispness that hadn’t been there yesterday. More early fall than late summer.
As we walked, the conversation turned to our challenging relationships with our single parents. Our situations were so different, but we’d both spent our childhoods walking on eggshells, afraid to set off our volatile parent. Maybe this was one reason we fit together so well.
Maddox had never asked me so many questions about myself before. He wanted to know all about my relationship with Astrea.
It gave me such a comforting feeling to share with him the challenges that had come with being her daughter.
The bizarre dynamic between parent and child when you are one of dozens of children, and the parent knows for sure she is still going to be around hundreds of years after you’ve died from old age.
Sharing this with him felt so right, it made me realize how stupid my original plan had been. Telling him about my past once and then never mentioning it again? What had I been thinking? If I hadn’t felt comfortable sharing my true self, I shouldn’t have gotten married to start with.
The talk turned to his dad. Thinking of the savagery I had witnessed directly inside his mind, I felt hollow. “I’m sorry I didn’t know how bad it was. I should have—”
“Don’t you dare feel bad.” His voice was firm. “It’s not that you weren’t asking or weren’t interested. You wanted to know everything about me. I was hiding it from you… and I guess I didn’t want to admit it to myself either.”
“I understand that,” I said softly.
“You were trying. You wanted me to open up. I just wouldn’t do it.”
I took his hand.
We walked until the beach gave way to town and spent two hours drifting through galleries and adorable shops. Maddox insisted on buying me a loose-knit wrap when he saw how I smiled when I touched the soft fabric.
As we wandered out of that boutique, I suddenly came to an abrupt halt when I spotted a red convertible pulling into an open space.
My stomach dropped. It was identical to Maddox’s car, which I had so utterly destroyed.
“Maddox, I’m so sorry about the car.”
“You do not need to apologize to me.” He took my hand.
“You were more than entitled. And you did me a favor, honestly. I wanted that car for all the wrong reasons. It was unhealthy. I only got it to prove something to my dad. That’s fucked up.
If I still had it, I’d sell it.” He smiled.
“I don’t have to prove anything to him anymore. Thanks for helping me see that.”
I didn’t know what to say.
We picked up mini donuts from a cute little wooden cart down the block, and turned onto a lazy side street for our return walk to the house.
As we strolled, I shared with Maddox my fears about how long it was taking me to find inspiration on what I wanted to do with my life.
He put his arm around me. “You’re going to figure out something amazing. I’ve never had more faith in anything. It’s clear to me you’re an actual genius with this magic thing.” His smile was so proud. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
I shook my head. “Probably just listen to me talk about it a bunch more, before I finally figure something out.”
“Talk away. I will never get tired of it. Whatever you decide to do, I want to be there cheering you on.” He hesitated. “If you’ll let me.”
A sense of such deep relaxation entered my body. He was saying exactly what I wanted to hear.
Back at the house, we barely made it to the bedroom.
He pressed me against the wall, then lifted me, my legs wrapping around his waist. The connection between us felt unshakable, and the intensity of our sex topped anything we’d shared before.
Somehow, against all odds, we’d made it through the worst.
After we finally exhausted ourselves, we showered together and dressed for a nice dinner.
Maddox drove, and as the valet opened my door at the sleek waterfront restaurant, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this glamorous.
Maddox kept his hand on the small of my back as we walked to the table, and I felt claimed in the best way. The host brought us to a curved booth that faced the windows, tucked away in a corner, and Maddox and I nestled in together.
We were so wrapped up in each other, we hadn’t so much as glanced at the menus when the server announced herself.
“Good evening, I’m Valentina. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Could I get you started with anything to drink?”
I tore my gaze away from Maddox… and suddenly found myself looking at the most gorgeous young woman I’d ever seen.
She had the kind of face that should be on billboards.
The most exquisite bone structure, flawless skin, huge sparkling eyes framed by lush lashes.
Long, glossy hair cascaded over her shoulders, somehow effortless though there wasn’t a hair out of place.
She was fit and lean, exuding good health.
Her simple black uniform fit her so perfectly, she made it look couture.
From her fresh-faced glow, I was certain she couldn’t have been older than twenty-one.
She was the woman every man wanted, and her smile was dazzling.
Maddox smiled back. “What do you recommend from the wine list?”
He smiled at her!
A normal smile. A polite smile. The kind anyone would give a server.
Wasn’t it?
The memories slammed into me. All those horrible, demeaning thoughts I’d experienced inside his head. The disgusting way he would think of servers, planning how he might fuck them while I poured my heart out to him.
I shivered as a cold clamminess washed over me. I had to snap out of it. Maddox was different now. He had changed.
He had changed very quickly. Who’s to say he couldn’t change back just as quickly?
Especially now that the curse was off! There was nothing restraining him anymore.
This was ridiculous. He’d done nothing wrong. He’d smiled politely at a server and asked about wine. That was it.
But my feelings didn’t care about my attempts to reason them away.
They crashed over me anyway. Thoughts of every time he’d mentally undressed someone while I stood beside him, oblivious.
Every lie, every betrayal, every moment I’d trusted him while he was calculating whether someone else was worth the risk.
Nausea and dizziness swept over me. That same awful sensation that took over my body the night of the discovery was back again.
“Callie?”
I suddenly became aware they were both staring at me, Valentina expectantly and Maddox with concern.
“Umm… just water for now…” I stammered.
Valentina moved off, and Maddox fixed me with those eyes again. Those incredible eyes, that I’d fallen right into the first time I met him.
A devastating clarity struck me, like ice water.
He could be perfect from now until the end of time, and it wouldn’t matter.
I would always be waiting for him to slip.
Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
After how deeply I had been hurt, I would always fear relapse.
This was a wound that would never fully heal, and even something as simple as a polite smile could rip it open.
I took a deep breath, gathering my resolve. “Maddox, I’m so sorry.” I took his hand. “I can’t do this.”