Chapter 28
Walker
Her long hair blew in the wind as we approached the part of my property that gave way to the best views.
We stopped the horses and sat in comfortable silence as we watched the sun begin to slowly slip behind the hills, creating a stunning golden sky painted with long strokes of rose and amber.
Farrah glanced over at me. "It's beautiful out here.
" She ran her hand along Ranger's copper neck.
I held her gaze for a moment and smiled. "This is what I’ve always wanted." I turned my attention back towards the sunset and stroked Tex's black mane. "You and me riding together, being able to come out here and watch the sun go down."
She let out a contented sigh and grinned. "I'm glad we finally found our way back to each other."
I was too… I just didn’t know if finding our way back meant we’d figured out how to stay.
It had been a few weeks since Farrah had shown up at my place in Austin, and we’d been making up for lost time every chance we got…
in and out of the bedroom. Today, we’d spent what felt like hours exploring my property on horseback.
I loved finally being able to show her this piece of land I’d always envisioned her being a part of.
We decided to take the horses back in, and as we were untacking and giving them a good brush, I peered around Tex, clearing my throat.
"So, uh… I know this is probably lame, but we’ve been spending a lot of time together since Austin, and I want to be really clear—I’m not seeing anyone else.
I don’t want to. I want you to be my girlfriend… again."
Why was I so nervous? Like one wrong move would send everything unraveling again.
A smile pulled at Farrah’s lips as she continued to run a brush down Ranger's back. "I love it when you say what you want," she teased. "And I want to be your girlfriend too… again."
I rushed around Tex and grabbed Farrah around the waist, making her yelp, and pressed my lips to hers. I ran my hands along her jaw as I tilted her head, slipping my tongue inside. Farrah melted into me on a soft moan.
Ranger started pawing, and Tex stomped his foot impatiently, breaking our kiss, both of us laughing as we pulled apart.
"All right, you cockblockers, let's get you put away so you can have your evening hay."
Farrah and I led the boys back to their stalls. She turned to me, "Hey, I know this might be weird and kind of last-minute, but would you want to go to Jake's wedding with me this weekend? Hadley is the flower girl, and I really didn't want to go alone," she asked, her eyes hopeful.
I leaned down and placed a quick kiss against her lips, "Of course I'll go, Wildflower."
Jake and Lily's wedding had about seventy-five guests, and they exchanged vows in an old church in Forest Park.
It was a quick ceremony followed by a cocktail hour and reception.
Hadley looked adorable in her ivory princess dress (as she called it), her blonde curls pulled back neatly into a bun, finished off with a tiara.
After taking Farrah for a spin on the dance floor, Hadley pulled me back out there to dance with her for a couple of songs.
I could feel eyes on me as I glanced to the side to see Jake staring right at me, his expression unreadable.
It had been a very long time since I had seen or spoken to Jake, but he wasn't a fan of mine back then, and I'm sure he wasn’t a fan of mine now.
After I finished twirling the tiny princess around, I made my way over to him.
Might as well get this over with.
I planted myself in front of Jake and extended my hand. "Hey Jake, good to see you again. Congratulations, your wedding was beautiful."
Jake looked down at my hand before bringing his eyes to mine, and there was a brief moment when I was sure he was going to say fuck off and walk away. Or punch me in the face. But he gave me a small smile and shook my hand firmly. "Thanks. Nice to see you too. Hadley talks about you a lot."
I couldn't help but smile. "She's a special little girl. I love having her out to see the horses."
Jake nodded. "She does love horses."
An awkward silence stretched between us.
I tucked my hands into my dress pants and rocked back on my heels.
"Listen. I know I'm probably not your favorite guy, and you likely didn't want to see me here at your wedding.
But I want us to be cordial and respectful because I plan to be in Farrah and Hadley's lives for the long haul. I'm not going anywhere, and I’m not here to disrupt what you’ve built—I just want to be part of it. "
Jake sighed and gripped the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't expect to see you at my wedding, of all places, to have this conversation.
Farrah told me you two were back together and then sprung on me that you were coming to my wedding two days ago.
I haven't really had the time to process it all.
And you're right, a few years ago, you weren't my favorite person.
But. You seem to make Farrah and my daughter really happy, so I'll swallow my pride. "
I nodded. "I appreciate that."
Jake smiled, slightly forced, but a smile nonetheless. I knew we had a long road ahead to reach a point where we could be friendly, but I still had hope. Hadley was important to me, and I wasn't going to come in and ruin the healthy co-parenting relationship that Farrah and Jake had built.
Lily walked over. She looked beautiful and so incredibly happy. Visions of Farrah in a white dress hit me, and fuck did that make me happy. "You must be Walker. I'm Lily." She shook my hand before slipping her arm through Jake's.
"Nice to meet you, Lily. Congratulations to you both, and thank you for having me."
Lily grinned. "Thank you, and I'm so happy you came!" She turned her attention to Jake. "Jake, honey, the photographer needs us."
Jake nodded and let Lily pull him away. Lily glanced at me over her shoulder, "We’ll have to plan a dinner soon so we can get to know each other better." I smiled in response as they disappeared out the side doors leading to a courtyard.
I felt her before I saw her. I always did. Farrah slid her hand into mine and squeezed. "I saw you and Jake talking." She looked up at me. "How did it go?"
I smiled down at her and placed a soft kiss against her forehead. "Better than I thought it would."
Farrah grinned and led me back out to the dance floor.
The conversation went more easily than I’d expected with Jake. I’d told him I wasn’t going anywhere, and I meant it. I just hoped she didn’t walk away again this time.
Over the last month, Farrah and I found a comfortable routine between her work schedule and my training schedule.
When she didn't have Hadley, she stayed with me, and when she did have Hadley, I usually snuck out of the house early the next morning, so Hadley didn't know I’d spent the night.
Farrah wasn't ready to go down that road just yet, and I understood it. Hadley had just gained a new stepmother, and throwing me into the mix might be a lot for her to understand. As much as we were trying to take it slow, Farrah and I had picked up right where we’d left off.
We always did, but the difference this time was I couldn’t ignore how easily it had all fallen apart before.
I knew I loved her; I’d never stopped, but I didn't want to give voice to it just yet.
I didn't think Farrah was ready either, and I didn't want to push her. So, for now, I would just show her.
Farrah and I decided to take Hadley to a kids’ pottery painting place in town called Pots adoration and love shone in her eyes.
It was the same way I looked at her.
Today felt perfect. I was happy. The kind of happiness that you felt in your bones—settled contentment, peace, and ease. Did I really want to go back to play another year and miss days like these?
My retirement decision hung over me like a dark cloud trying to steal away my sunshine.
The light I’d just gotten back.
Because what happened when baseball pulled me away again? Could we really survive it?
We hadn’t the first time. And if this is what it felt like to have her and Hadley, how the hell did I survive losing her again, losing them?
After another month of solid throwing, I was feeling more like my old self again. My pitches were stronger, more dialed. My pitching coach sent several videos to Dr. Howard, and after one last assessment, I was finally cleared to practice full-out with the team again.
I should have been excited, elated. But all it did was make the deadline loom closer—and the pressure of my decision heavier.
Sensing I was stuck in my head, Weston shoved me in the shoulder.
"Walk, get the fuck out of your head. I can see you going down a rabbit hole.
" He walked over to Ranger and placed the saddle on his back. Weston was in town for a bit, and we’d decided to take the boys out for a ride together.
It wasn't often I got my big brother out on horseback, so I relished the few times I did.
We took the horses down to the river that flowed through my property and let them graze while we hung out by the riverbed with a few beers.
Weston tapped his beer bottle against mine before taking a long pull. "So. Are you ready to return next season? Sounds like you're back."
I took a pull from my beer before picking up a small stone and skipping it across the water, watching the ripples it created. "I don't know, man."
Weston knew without asking what I was struggling with.
He always knew.
"I'm going to retire from the SEALs next year. Finally come home." He grabbed a rock and skipped it across the water.
I schooled my features, trying not to act like he hadn't just dropped a bomb. "Seriously? You're finally done?"
I loved that West served our country, but a selfish part of me wanted him home, away from that world.
Weston had always been introverted, quiet, stoic.
But since he’d been in the SEALs, a darker part of him had evolved.
He had seen and been a part of things most of us could never understand or even stomach.
I worried about him.
He nodded. "Yup. Dad and Mom are getting older; I need to come back and take on the CFO role like we always planned. I didn't become a CPA for nothing. The SEALs have been great; I gave them ten years—but it's time."
I processed his words for a moment. "How did you know it was time?"
"There’s no hesitation. When you make the decision, there’s no doubt, no question. You just feel…" He trailed off, scratching his jaw. “I don’t know. At peace, I guess.”
I took another pull from my beer, staring out at the water that glistened like tiny diamonds under the sun's rays.
At peace.
Would I be at peace if I walked away from baseball right now?
And if I didn’t walk away… what would that cost me this time?
I wasn't so sure.