Chapter Nine
Blaize called the sheriff for the second time in two days.
Standing at Carys’s vehicle, he couldn’t help but wonder if someone was listening in on her conversations or tracking her by phone.
“Did you talk to anyone and tell them about your plans to come here before you came out to see me with Rue yesterday?”
“Um, no. Why?” She walked around her four-door sedan, assessing the damage.
She gasped and caught his stare before he could respond.
“You’re saying someone might be listening in on my calls and conversations, aren’t you?” she asked.
“I’m exploring all possibilities.”
She paused, seemingly to regain her bearings after the realization. “Well, let’s see, I had a conversation with one of my co-workers about not wanting to take Rue to Sister’s Love,” she said. “Harrison is his name.”
“When the sheriff drops by to pick up the barbecue fork, you might want to give him the name,” he said, then watched as half a dozen emotions passed over her face and behind her eyes. There was confusion, sadness, frustration, and a couple others before resignation.
“I seriously doubt Harrison would follow me,” she said. “Or want to hurt me in any way.”
“He might be fixated on you.”
“You think?” Her face puckered. She shook her head as though physically rejecting the idea. “No… I mean, he was complaining about Rue crying and wanted me to get her out of the office because he said…”
Another gasp.
“He said the walls were paper thin,” she said.
“Meaning he could be listening to your calls all day, personal and private.”
“Even if he was, what would he have to gain by attacking me last night?” Her gaze unfocused like she was looking inside herself for the answer.
“Has he ever asked you out?”
“Harrison? No,” she quickly said. “I’m pretty certain that I annoy him. Also, I’ve always thought he wasn’t interested in women.”
“Do you know much about his private life?”
“Well, to be honest, not really. No. Huh.” She stood there for a long moment. “I guess we made small talk at the office. How many cases are you working? Did you have a good weekend? That type of surface-level conversation. He never asked me out on a date or even to grab a drink after work.”
“Doesn’t mean he isn’t harboring feelings,” he said. Another stab of jealousy landed.
“You’re right, I guess.” Her face scrunched again. “I’m just not seeing it. You usually know when someone is interested in you. I guess I never got that vibe from Harrison.”
Coming from his perspective, Blaize agreed.
When he was interested in someone, he made his intentions clear.
Dating. Damn. He could only imagine how much rituals had changed since the last time he was in the dating pool.
Folks used apps back in his day, but they seemed a whole lot more prevalent now.
He’d also heard tell of folks getting tired of them.
Something about app fatigue. It was understandable.
You both swiped. You started a chat. Someone ghosted. Rinse. Repeat.
Lynn had been the first person he met on an app. Both stopped talking to other people shortly after. Three years later, he asked her to marry him. So, he didn’t have a lot of experience to draw from.
Carys walked the perimeter of her vehicle, assessing the damage while he checked the area for any possible footprints. The chances he’d find any were slim to none. Still, he checked. The person who’d dropped the barbecue fork was sloppy, an inexperienced criminal.
The tree trunk lying across the road would have been too planned for someone like that. Right?
Or had the person intended to stop her so they could ambush her all along? Someone would have had to drive out here, move the trunk onto the road, and then what? Wait? The position of the log made it next to impossible to drive around. Was it random? Placed there?
Any tire tracks were washed away at this point. The heavy rain did a great job of erasing evidence. Was that calculated on the attacker’s part? Had this person been waiting, biding his time?
And what, if any, links could there be to Stephanie Cross?
“Let me hop in and start the engine,” she said. “Then I’ll help you move the log.”
He nodded. The parched earth soaked up most of the rain, so driving on mud wouldn’t be an issue.
The vehicle started up. Carys didn’t smile. She looked relieved.
The stalker theory was gaining steam in his mind. Could be James or Harrison. Or the two other names she’d mentioned to the law. He needed to ask her about the others and what role they might play in her life.
“We should head back soon,” he said to her as she exited the vehicle. “Kit and Rue were taking a nap when we left, but you never know when one will wake up.”
“True,” she said. “And you still haven’t gotten any sleep.”
“I power napped.”
“It’s not the same thing.” She shot him a warning look that told him not to argue. It made him laugh.
It had been a long time since someone had been concerned about him.
The nurses handed over pamphlets with support group names and numbers on them.
He’d shot down their concerns, saying he was fine.
Saying that he could handle it. Taking care of his wife was not a strain since Lynn was the one suffering.
All he wanted to do was be there for her to make the road easier.
Funny. You never really thought they were going to die.
You held out unrealistic hope that a miracle cure would happen.
You held on to stories of others who were knocking on death’s door suddenly cured and back to a normal life, as if anything after an experience like this could go back to normal.
And you held on to that hope until they took their last breath.
Then you sat in your disbelief when they were gone.
“Everything okay?” Carys asked. She’d walked up beside him.
“Fine.”
“You sure about that?” Her left eyebrow arched.
“Do I seem like I’m not okay?” he snapped, realizing his tone came out a helluva lot harsher than intended. He put a hand up to stop her from responding. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I know.” She folded her arms and leaned her hip against the car. “And I realize we have to get back to the house as soon as possible. But…do you want to talk about it?”
Did he?
Could he?
Blaize let out a sharp sigh. “If I did talk about it… I’d want it to be with you.”
She took a tentative step toward him. “I’m right here, Blaize. And it’s okay to still be hurting.”
He exhaled, slower this time.
She came closer and then reached for his wrists. Then she took a final step, closing the gap between them. “Is it okay if I touch you?”
“Yes.” Damned if he wasn’t falling down a rabbit hole with Carys. Would he recover this time?
CARYS TOOK BLAIZE’S wrists in her hands and then positioned his arms around her body.
This close, she breathed in his spicy, dark-roast scent.
She locked their gazes, searching his eyes to make sure that she wasn’t overstepping her bounds.
Touching him sent electrical impulses racing through her body. Her breath quickened.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the kiss from yesterday,” he said, his voice low and gravelly with something that sounded a whole lot like need. And something else. Regret?
“And?” She flinched, preparing for the worst.
“You’re the first person I’ve kissed since…”
Carys sure as hell wasn’t expecting those words.
An ache formed low in her belly. Her fingers itched to outline every muscle on his beautiful body.
A small smile toyed with the corners of her lips at thinking of him in terms of being beautiful.
He wouldn’t see it that way even though he had those hard planes and angles down pat.
His jawline could crack concrete. He would laugh at those descriptions, too.
And those full lips over straight, white teeth. Warmth pooled between her thighs.
“I’m honored,” she finally said. Her throat suddenly dried, so she swallowed to ease some of it. Did he regret it? “I hope it didn’t disappoint.”
His tongue slicked across his bottom lip. She stared at the silky trail it left behind.
“I know we agreed it shouldn’t happen again, but I would very much like to ask your permission to kiss you one more time.”
Standing this close, her body craved more of his touch. Kissing him complicated matters, but she was tired of refusing to give her body what it desperately wanted and needed…to be touched by Blaize.
Her only hesitation was that she knew one time wouldn’t be enough.
Could she pull back at this point?
A nearby rustling of leaves made the decision for her. Both of their attention snapped to the sound. Blaize took a step in front of her, placing his body in between her and the noise, forming a human shield.
Their movement caused a squirrel to bolt across the street. They stood there for a long moment, waiting, watching.
“That was not a smart move on my part,” Blaize said, shame in his tone.
“I did that, Blaize. Not you.” She noticed his habit of blaming himself every time something went wrong. An eldest-child fault? Or did he blame himself in some way for his wife’s death? “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”
“For how long?” he asked, his tone so low she almost didn’t hear him.
“I’m right here,” she said in the most reassuring tone possible. After what he’d been through, it wouldn’t surprise her if he was afraid deep down to get close to anyone for fear of losing them. That fear would bubble to the surface in comments like the one he just made.
He surveyed the area. His muscles were so tense if they were cords they would have snapped by now.
“Do you want to sit in my car for a few minutes before we drive back?” she asked.
“Let’s move this barrier first.”
With both of them working, it took all of five minutes to clear the road.
He walked over to the driver’s side and opened the door for her.
She took a seat. Blaize rounded the front of the vehicle before settling in the passenger side.
She rolled the windows down a crack. Just enough to keep fresh air flowing, while making it easier to hear if someone came up to surprise them.
Blaize kept his gaze focused on the stretch of road in front of them. They sat there, quiet, for a long moment. Pushing him to speak would only cause him to withdraw further. In her two years on the job, she’d witnessed people who experienced trauma. They needed space. They needed a gentle nudge.
He was a good person, someone who took care of everyone around him without asking anything in return. It might not have been her job to help him, but she could be there for him. She could lend an ear. But only if he wanted to take that step.
She’d also learned on the job that she couldn’t fix other people. They had to want to fix themselves.
“Holding my wife’s hand while she faded was the hardest thing I’ll ever be asked to do,” he said.
“I have nothing to compare it to,” she said quietly, reverently. “And I can’t begin to fathom how that would feel.”
“There was so much medication by the end,” he said.
“She was doped up all the time to stay out of pain. One night, the lights were low. I sat next to her, head down, eyes on the phone. And I missed it. I had a work email that I was writing a response to. She said my name a few minutes earlier, and I just kept staring at the screen. Held my finger up to tell her that I’d be with her in a second. By the time I looked up, she was gone.”
Damn.
Carys exhaled a slow breath as the weight of those words descended around her, cloaked her. The amount of guilt he carried around made even more sense now.
“You were by her side,” she said to him. “That would matter the most.”
“What did she want to say to me?” he asked slowly.
“What did I miss? Was she in pain? Was there something I could have done to ease it? To help? Did she need something from me? Or did she want to tell me that she loved me one more time, and I robbed both of us of the pleasure of hearing those words out loud?”
Carys didn’t respond. Those questions were rhetorical. It was him thinking out loud. Needing to say those words to someone.
“I spent so much time with her and missed the most important moment of her life.” He was beating himself up. Words of encouragement wouldn’t help right now, so she tucked them away for when he might be ready to hear them.
Reality nailed her.
Once Rue was settled wherever she was supposed to be, Carys and Blaize would likely lose contact. They lived in two different worlds, and he had the responsibility of turning the ranch around along with the self-imposed duty of taking care of Kit for the rest of her life.
She hoped his grandmother would be around for a very long time.
Kit was wonderful. And yet Carys wished Blaize could have time to heal from taking care of his wife.
It was obvious he loved her. And no matter how strong the attraction was between Carys and Blaize, she would never be able to compete with a ghost.
An emptiness she’d never experienced before filled her chest, and suddenly all the oxygen sucked out of the vehicle.