Chapter Ten
Blaize never talked about Lynn. He thought about her every day, almost every minute of every day. But he didn’t talk about her.
Until now.
Saying those words out loud chipped some of the thousand-pound weight off his shoulders.
“Ever notice how we’re always harder on ourselves than we are on other people?” Carys asked.
He nodded. She’d been quiet.
“If you knew someone going through what you just described, someone who was being a dying person’s sole support…what would you say to them?” she asked.
“I’d tell them to do the best they could and savor each moment,” he said.
“I’d tell them to try to find humor together in small things.
And I’d remind them to take care of themselves, too.
” It dawned on him why she’d asked the question as he heard his own response.
“And you’re wondering why I don’t give myself that same advice. ”
“No,” she said. “Just observing how hard we are on ourselves and how much softer we are on others, especially when someone we care about is going through hell.”
He barked a laugh. Yes. He could relate. “I’m still not letting myself off the hook.”
“You don’t have to,” she said. “No judgment here.”
Blaize sat there for a long moment, letting those words really sink in. They’d been gone for a while, longer than he intended. “We should really get back to Kit and the baby.”
“Okay.”
He didn’t realize he’d tensed up so much before her response until he exhaled.
With Lynn, almost everything became a challenge or an outright fight.
Carys’s demeanor had a calming effect on people, on him.
Even when they stood close and his body was an exploding minefield of electricity and need, he felt a sense of peace that was foreign.
Growing up in a battleground with Cormac, then with Lynn’s bipolar disorder, he’d gotten used to always being ready for a fight.
Carys drove them to the house since the damage on her car was thankfully just cosmetic. Frustrating as all hell, but nothing a good dent-repair shop couldn’t handle. Mechanically, the car was sound. Tires were good. He’d half feared the attacker would return and rupture them. Too risky?
Damned if he wasn’t already thinking about the kiss from yesterday again. How it was unlike any others.
They pulled up. Carys parked next to his Jeep. Both vehicles could use a good hosing off.
“I can find someone to fix the damage to your vehicle,” he said after opening her door for her. It looked as though someone had taken a baseball bat to it.
“Thanks, but I can look up a place just as easy.” She held out her phone. “You can find almost anything on one of these.”
“And have it delivered,” he joked. “Just not out here.”
“Leaving the city was definitely an adjustment,” she said.
“Why did you come all the way out here to Maverick Pass?” He opened the back door for her after unlocking it.
“For a job. They aren’t exactly easy to get.”
“Austin can be a tough place to find work, but the medical options are standout,” he said. There would come a day when he didn’t know who the best bipolar doctor was or bone-cancer specialist. A year had passed since Lynn’s death, and he still checked his calendar for appointments out of habit.
“The job market was brutal, even for the kind of work I do.”
They entered the kitchen. He listened for sounds coming from the bedroom. Kit had insisted on having Rue stay with her.
“Blaize!” Kit hollered.
And then the baby wound up and wailed.
Heart in his throat, he blew past Carys. The door was still locked, but this old house would be easy to break into. All the latches and locks were too old. Hell, the windows were ancient. No one expected crime all the way out here.
“Are you—”
He stopped midsentence the second he entered the doorway, rushed to Kit, who was lying on her side and curled into a ball.
“What happened?” he asked before taking a knee beside her. He scanned her for obvious signs of injury—blood or a bone sticking out through her skin. He couldn’t find anything from this angle.
He could barely hear himself think over the crying baby. Carys was there in the next second, picking up the little girl and offering a soothing tone.
“I’ll take her into the next room,” she said before disappearing. Her voice might be calm, but panic was written all over her features.
“Can I help you sit up?” he asked Kit when the crying subsided.
“I think so,” she said, issuing a frustrated grunt. “I was trying to get to the bathroom, and I lost my balance. Hit my head on the dresser.”
“Where?” he asked as he wrapped an arm around her and gently guided her to sit up.
She leaned against the dresser as she brought her hand up to feel around the crown of her head. “Here.” She took his hand and placed it on the spot.
A pump knot was already forming.
“We need to get you to the ER,” he said, doing his level best to tamp down the panic rising in his chest.
“You’ll do no such thing,” Kit protested. “My name is Kit Wilde, short for Katherine.” She rattled off a couple other facts to prove she was lucid. Facts like the day of the week, her birthday, and the address.
“Then at least allow me to grab an ice pack,” he said. It could help with any pain.
“That I can live with.” Kit smiled with that grandmotherly warmth in her eyes. “I’m sorry to be such a pain.”
“You couldn’t be.”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said about Lynn. It couldn’t have been easy on you, and I’m figuring you took care of your wife all by your lonesome.”
He nodded, unsure where this was going.
“You shouldn’t have to step in and take care of an old lady like me,” she said. “It’s time you live your life for yourself, Blaize. I mean it, and I believe the others will agree.”
“Not a chance.” There was no way Kit was leaving the home she’d built. He frowned. “Are you trying to kick me out?”
Kit laughed.
“Would you go?” she asked.
“Nah. Probably not.” He smiled. “You raised me and my brothers. I may not have heard back from them yet, but I will. And they’ll agree with me, by the way.”
She folded her arms across her chest and pouted.
“What can I say? We love you, and it’s your turn to be taken care of.
And it’s high time you reclaimed your bedroom.
” He shook his head. “I have no idea what Cormac was thinking, but if he was alive, I’d…
” One look at her said he was hurting her feelings by insulting her son.
“I’m sorry, Kit. What he’s done to this place burns me up. ”
“You don’t know what happened to Cormac to turn him that way.”
What?
CARYS GAVE A self-satisfied smile after successfully changing a diaper and feeding Rue a bottle.
Now the baby was happily stretching her hands out in front of her, cooing, and basically looking at this world like everything was miraculous.
Carys couldn’t remember the last time she felt that way about anything in life.
As a child, she’d been suffocated, miserable.
Taking charge of her life meant being cut off by her father, a choice no person should’ve had to make.
She exhaled a slow breath and refocused. It was Saturday, her day off from work. She could turn her phone off and not worry about her boss figuring out what she’d done. At least, not today. That would be Monday’s problem, if it surfaced at all. Could she hide all this from work?
Relinquishing custody of a child to their parent was something Carys did on a regular basis.
Technically, there was no proof that Blaize wasn’t the biological father.
Sure, a simple spit test would do the trick in a matter of hours, but she hadn’t filed her report yet and so there was no reason for work to question that she’d done the right thing.
There were a few wrong things to worry about.
For instance, staying overnight. That was out of the bounds of her job description and could be scrutinized should this case go to court.
The storm could explain being stranded. Blaize offered shelter in said storm.
The kiss they’d shared might be a bigger issue if questioned about developing a personal relationship with the father of her charge.
That would be the point the case could go south faster than a beginner skater on ice.
Wanting Blaize wasn’t an issue. Her body craved his touch.
She’d dreamt about his hands on her last night.
The kiss they’d shared had been soul-defining.
It also caused her to question what she knew about attraction.
Had she been settling for partners who either couldn’t commit to a relationship or were too clingy?
Finding middle ground seemed impossible.
Finding someone who saw her through Blaize’s eyes seemed unthinkable.
Finding someone who made her want things like a real love with a person who loved her back was unimaginable.
Keeping everyone at arm’s length was her superpower. Who was she without it?
She listened for signs from the bedroom that Kit was all right. Seeing her lying on the floor, curled up on her side, had caused Carys’s stress levels to shoot through the roof. The distraction of caring for Rue kept Carys’s nerves at a level above panic.
Considering Carys never saw herself as the “get married and have kids” type, the satisfaction she got from calming the baby took her by surprise.
Maybe she could consider getting a cat? Or should start small with trying to keep a houseplant alive? The responsibility of day-to-day care would be different than her little win this afternoon.
All this was a distraction from her real purpose—finding Rue’s birth father. To do that, she needed to know more about Stephanie Cross. Once Kit’s status was confirmed as healthy, Carys could regroup with Blaize.
Hunger pangs got the best of her. She missed those days in Austin when she could just pull up an app on her phone and have food delivered to her door. It was expensive but worth every penny on days like this.
Living in Maverick Pass had honed her cooking skills.
She could do more than butter toast, which was good.
Thank the stars for online recipes and cooking tips.
She would be lost without the internet. Didn’t make her a true chef by any means.
At least she could feed herself with relative ease.
Eating at home had other benefits. She ate healthier.
A noise from the hallway drew her attention back to the present. Blaize walked into the kitchen.
One look at him had her standing up. “More coffee?”
“Yes, please.” He rubbed the day-old scruff on his chin.
“Coming right up.” She fixed two after settling Rue on the blanket placed on the floor.
Blaize’s toe snagged the rain bucket, causing water to slosh and a few droplets to spill. He muttered a curse, glanced at Rue, and then apologized.
“Think she can understand you?” Carys handed over a fresh cup of black coffee.
“No,” he said. “I don’t want her to get used to those words. I’m convinced the subconscious picks up more than we realize, even in little ones. While around her, I want to do better with language.”
The word while shouldn’t hit hard. Its temporary nature reminded her just how short this visit would be. She needed to go home because there was no way she could sell staying with him over an entire weekend in court should it come to that.
“If Stephanie listed you as Rue’s father and it’s a blatant lie, she either doesn’t know who he is or did and was keeping the baby from him for a reason,” she said as they took seats at the kitchen table.
“My mind goes to some pretty dark places when it comes to keeping paternity from a father,” he said.
“For instance?”
“Maybe she was being abused and didn’t want that life for her daughter,” he said. “Or the father was a criminal and she didn’t want her daughter brought up in that lifestyle.”
“Both are logical reasons.” She took a sip of coffee. “Kids change people, don’t they?”
“How so?”
She leaned her elbows against the table.
“Stephanie could have been fine with a wild lifestyle before this little darling was born. During her pregnancy, she might have realized she needed to change. Rue deserves better. So, she hatched a plan to escape. She sneaks away before her boyfriend or husband, whatever the case may be, knows she’s carrying his baby and then writes your name down on the birth certificate to throw him off the trail. ”
“If she really made a plan like this, it stands to reason she would change her identity, too.”
“I should get a report on Monday,” she said. “It’s sad that her life was cut short after all that scheming and planning, not to mention she wouldn’t have planned on leaving Rue an orphan.”
“She’s not an orphan,” he said with finality. “If the father turns out to be a disaster like we think, we’ll figure something else out. Stephanie Cross, the person who put my name on that birth certificate trusted me to do the right thing. I won’t let her or Rue down.”
Blaize was the most honorable person Carys had ever met.
She understood why someone would choose him even though it wasn’t fair to put him in that position.
You didn’t expect to need him, did you, Stephanie?
A picture emerged of a desperate pregnant woman who needed to escape her situation and have a backup plan should the worst happen.
And the worst did happen.
“Are you hungry?” he asked after her stomach growled.
“Yes.”
“We could head out to eat since there isn’t much left here,” he said.
Being seen out and about with Blaize and the baby would definitely not be a good move. But hiding made her feel like she was doing something wrong.
Was she?