Chapter Nineteen #2
“I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you.” He nuzzled her neck, sending shivers of pleasure skating over her skin. “I’ll never want another woman the way I want you.”
“You say that now, but what about in twenty or thirty years?”
“You’ll always be my Lavinia, my woman.”
The truth of his words resonated deep inside her. He truly believed it. Whether he’d still mean it in several decades was up for debate, but her resolve weakened. There’d been no other man in her life that had even tempted her to settle down, to risk her heart. “I’ll give it two weeks.”
“Six,” he countered, nibbling the top of her shoulder.
Goose bumps ran down her arm beneath the sensual onslaught. The man didn’t fight fair. And damn it, he knew how he affected her.
“A month. Surely, we’ll know by then if we’re compatible.” They both knew the sex was explosive, but a relationship needed more to last.
They’d been in crisis mode since they’d reconnected.
That heightened all their emotions, including their attraction.
There was no telling how they’d be dealing with ordinary, everyday things like laundry and bills and parenting for a prolonged period.
They might discover their styles and values didn’t mesh.
“Deal.” He gently nipped her earlobe, stealing the breath from her lungs. “If you dig out your sheets I’ll make the bed for you.”
Images of the two of them sharing that bed spun through her brain.
She hunched her shoulders and pulled away.
“I’ll take care of it.” No way was she letting him handle her sheets.
She needed distance to get some perspective, not give in to her unruly hormones.
“Where are you going to sleep?” She was stealing the bed right out from under him.
“That’s up to you.” The invitation was clear. “I’ll bunk in Josiah’s room while he’s gone. Like I said, it’s rare for all of us to be home at any given time.”
She turned around, keeping her arms crossed over her chest to hide the blatant outline of her nipples against her shirt.
Her gaze was drawn to the rather large bulge in the front of his jeans.
There was nothing wrong with the sexual attraction sizzling between them. In that, they were totally compatible.
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.” He turned and left her standing there alone and aroused and with a lot to think about.
What have I gotten myself into?
Blowing out a breath, she grabbed the box marked “bedclothes” and got to work.
****
An owl hooted in the distance. Hands stacked behind his head, Cyrus lay naked on top of the bed covers and stared out the open window. The night called to him. His wolf wanted to run, but he wasn’t about to abandon Vinnie and Adam their first night here.
She hadn’t invited him to share her bed, had closed the door after saying good night.
After the first hour, he’d given up all hope of her sneaking across the hallway to join him.
Adam was settled into the office. They were going to have to come up with a better solution for the long term, but for now, it worked.
Restless, he rolled upright, grabbed his jeans, and pulled them on. He’d stroll around the perimeter and get some fresh air. It was better than staring at the ceiling wondering if Vinnie was asleep or lying awake thinking about him.
A light tap on his door made his heart skip a beat. He tamped down his excitement and yanked it open. Hand poised in midair, Vinnie took a startled step back. “Oh, I figured you’d be asleep.”
“Why aren’t you?” The past few days had been emotionally and physically brutal.
She shrugged and shifted her weight from one foot to another. “Too much to think about, I guess. I can’t seem to settle.”
He held the door open. “You want to come in. To talk,” he added when she hesitated.
She squared her shoulders and shook her head. “I don’t want to talk or think. I want to shut it all off, at least for tonight.” His dick almost exploded when she took his hand and led him across the hall and into her room, locking the door behind them.
“Vinnie?”
She slipped her hands over his chest and locked them around his neck. “Make me forget, Cyrus. Make me feel good.”
Blood roaring in his ears, he turned so her back was against the door. “You sure you want this? We could go for a walk.” She was in a vulnerable position, and he didn’t want her to do something she’d regret in the morning.
“Shut up and kiss me.” She dragged his head down, taking the lead when he hesitated.
“Yes, ma’am,” he muttered. The taste of her exploded in his mouth.
She made a sound of pleasure that speared straight to his dick.
He curved his hands around her behind and lifted her, angling her pelvis until it aligned with his erection.
She twined her legs around his waist and rubbed against him.
He loved that she was the aggressor, unafraid to show him what she wanted.
Their tongues tangled in a heated battle, the passion simmering between them reaching a fevered pitch. With her in his arms, he carried her to the bed, taking them both down so he was on top. He rubbed his erection against her, eliciting a breathy moan that had his balls pulling up tight.
Her hands roamed freely over his back, her nails skating along his spine. He threw his head back, barely silencing the howl of his wolf. She stilled beneath him. “Cyrus, what’s happening?”
His fangs had dropped. Lowering his head, he fisted his hands on his jean-clad legs and fought for control.
There was only one thing that would bring his wolf out at a time like this.
“I won’t hurt you.” His voice was guttural, almost inhuman.
Sweat beaded on his upper body as he struggled to contain his primal instincts.
“I know you won’t.” She scrambled up onto her knees facing him. “What’s wrong? Should I get one of your brothers?”
“They can’t help.” His lungs expanded and contracted as he sucked in air.
“What can I do?” He raised his head, aware he had to appear like something from a horror movie, but she didn’t flinch or turn away. She pressed her hand against his bearded chin. “Talk to me,” she pleaded.
“You’re my mate.” The truth was inescapable, at least for him. “My wolf knows it and so do I.” He shook his head and struggled to rein in the beast. “I’ll give you your month or however long you need.”
“And if I chose to walk away at the end of that time?”
The mournful howl of his wolf echoed through his soul. His chest constricted, pain stabbing his heart. “Then I’ll let you go.” He met her wary gaze. He couldn’t stay. Not in the shape he was in. He threw himself off the bed, but she caught his hand.
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t stay here.” If his wolf took over and claimed her without her consent, he’d never forgive himself.
“You’re hurting.” She rubbed his arm, her scent both soothing and maddening.
“I’ll live, but I have to get out of here. For both our sakes.”
“What happens if we were to mate?”
She was killing him, but she deserved to know. He tugged out of her hold and walked to the door, the urge to protect her as strong as the one to mate. “I’d bite your neck, marking you. You’d carry my scent for all time. Other wolves would know you belong to me. It’s both a warning and protection.”
“Is it because I’m Adam’s mother?”
Facing the door, he put one hand on the knob.
“I think I knew when I saw you in the bar that night, when we made love in the motel room. It’s why I didn’t chase you when you left.
” After all these years, it still cut to the core that she’d run from him.
“If you’d stayed, I might have taken you with me when I left”
“We were both so young.”
Torturing himself, he swung around, needing to see her. Seated on the bed, her legs pulled up, and her arms wrapped around them, she looked more like the young woman from the motel room. The experience in her eyes told a different story.
He rubbed his chest, trying to soothe the relentless ache. “I knew.” It was only now, years later, that he’d admit it to himself. “It’s instinct for a wolf. I had six younger brothers to raise and care for.”
“And you thought you couldn’t have both? Or did you believe you didn’t deserve it?”
He slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, forearms resting on his knees. Had he believed that? His fangs receded back into his gums. “You were human. My daddy wasn’t an easy man. He hated the wolf packs with a passion, warned us to stay away from them.”
“Why? I thought wolves were pack animals?”
“He never said why. It’s simply the way things were.
This was the only life I’d ever known so I didn’t question it.
I always thought there’d be time to ask, but then he was gone on my eighteenth birthday and the answers died with him.
” Weary to the depths of his soul, he rested his head against the door.
The dark memory pressed down on him. “Daddy also warned that humans and wolves don’t mix, not for mating.
It wasn’t that he was prejudiced against them.
It was more he understood the trouble it would cause.
Wolf packs don’t like it when the species mix, or so he said.
I haven’t met enough to be able to say if that’s true or not.
I suspect there are some who’d cause problems.”
It was the most he’d ever spoken to anyone about this.
With his brothers, he’d been more of a father figure.
Showing vulnerability wasn’t an option. He’d needed to be strong for them when their world had fallen apart.
He’d been the one they’d all leaned on, depended on. There’d been no one there for him.
“I love my daddy, but I hate him for dying. There wasn’t a mark on him. No sign of injury or illness. He simply lay down and died. He’d held on all those years after Mama passed, but the second I was an adult, he left.”
The rustle of fabric was the only warning he got before slender arms wrapped around him. “I’m so sorry.”
He pulled her into his arms and clung to her warmth. No one had comforted him after his daddy’s death. He’d been the one who’d hugged and reassured the others. He had no idea how long they sat like that, but the tension gradually bled out of him, leaving him tired and empty.
“I used to wake in a cold sweat almost every night. I had no idea what the hell I was doing.” Admitting any kind of vulnerability was foreign to him, yet somehow with Vinnie he was able to let down his guard.
“I had my mom to help me, but I was utterly lost when it came to Adam. What did I know about raising a boy?” Head resting on his shoulder, she played with the ends of his hair.
He wasn’t sure she realized she was doing it.
“Mom was no help there as she’d only had me.
Both my parents were the only child in their families, so I had no uncles or aunts or cousins.
Adam turned out okay. And so did your brothers.
I don’t know them well, but they’re amazing men.
They dropped everything when you needed them.
That’s a testament to how you raised them. ”
Her understanding healed some of the jagged wounds that had plagued him since the fateful night his daddy had died, leaving the responsibilities to him.
“You’re an amazing mom. Adam loves you.” The boy would do anything for her.
And there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. “My mama would have loved you.”
“Even though I’m human?”
“I believe so.” He’d only been twelve when they’d lost her, but she’d been a fierce mama to her boys. She’d appreciate that quality in Vinnie.
“If I were to stay, how do you see a relationship between us working?”
His wolf went on alert, but he tamped down his excitement. She wasn’t agreeing to stay, simply asking a hypothetical question. She was used to being around people. Isolating her on the mountain wasn’t going to work. “How do you see it working?” he threw the question back at her.
“I have no idea, and that’s what worries me. You said yourself that you and your brothers travel a lot for work. You don’t stay secluded here on the mountain. Even you rebelled against your dad’s teachings.”
“I never saw it that way before, but you’re right. It was necessity at first, a way to make a living, but if I’m being honest, it was more. I had a yearning to roam. I wanted more for my brothers than simply existing on the mountain. I wanted us to build something together.”
“It’s human nature to want to explore. You’re a wolf. I imagine that instinct is more pronounced in you.”
“You’re pretty damn smart, you know that?
” He tugged her around so she was seated on his lap facing him with his hands on her waist. His lust, his need to claim her hadn’t vanished, but it was tethered by something softer.
He feathered his fingers through her hair.
“You’re also pretty damn gorgeous, Lavinia Grant.
” Wearing soft cotton pants that came to her knees and a thin cotton top with thin straps, she was a feast for the senses.
“Tell me what you want? Not what’s best for Adam, not what you think you should do, but what do you want?
Here.” He placed his hand on her heart, which was double-timing it.
She licked her lips, raising his core temperature another few degrees. It was difficult not to be distracted with her seated on his lap so close to his dick. “What I want and what I can have are two different things.”
“Why? We’re both adults. My brothers are grown men and in a couple of years Adam will be, too. We’ve both done our duty. Isn’t it time to take something for ourselves?”