Chapter Twenty
“Isn’t it time we take something for ourselves?”
His question resonated in the core of her being. Was she using Adam as an excuse not to get more deeply involved with Cyrus?
“I’m afraid.” The confession slipped from her lips without thought.
He cupped her face, concern reflected in his midnight eyes. “Of me?”
She covered his hands with hers. “Yes and no. You’ll never physically harm me, but emotionally you could destroy me.”
“You could do the same to me.”
It hadn’t occurred to her that she had that kind of power. He seemed so confident and unshakable ... and alone. Just like her. “Wolves mate for life, don’t they?” She’d seen documentaries on television and understood the basics.
“They do. I think Daddy would have died when Mama did if we hadn’t needed him. The second I was old enough to carry the burden, he was gone.”
“I’m sorry, but your daddy sounds like an ass.
I hate to speak ill of the dead, but he had no right to put that load on you.
He should have at least stuck around until Silas was eighteen.
” It was unthinkable that he’d abandoned younger children who’d needed him.
“It was callous and cruel. You have every right to be angry with him.”
Cyrus’s jaw dropped at her harsh rebuke, but he quickly closed it.
Rather than defend his father, he slowly nodded.
“I was. I am. I never told anyone that before. I was scared and furious. I’d been pretty much responsible for the day-to-day care of the others since we lost Mama, but at least he’d been around. ”
“If something ever happens to me, I expect you to stick around for Adam, even if he’s fifty.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The admiration in his voice calmed some of her anger.
“Promise me.” He wouldn’t break a vow once made.
“I’ll try. That’s the best I can do. It’s also why I can’t stay angry at my daddy. For a wolf to lose their mate is a powerful thing. It’s akin to having their heart ripped out.”
“Love is love, whether it’s human or wolf.
My mom loved my dad, but when he died, she was there for me.
When Adam was born, she stood by me. When she got sick, she fought to live.
You love him, but you’re stronger than your daddy ever was.
” He might not be able to see it, but as an outsider she could.
“You’re viewing him through the eyes of a child, a son who loved him.
It’s okay to hold tight to the good memories, but he was far from perfect.
He was a man dealing with whatever demons haunted him. ”
Cyrus stared at her, silent and unmoving for a long time. She fought the urge to squirm, meeting his gaze and not backing down. “How did you get to be so insightful?”
Her shoulders slumped and she shrugged. “In my line of work, I see a lot. I imagine it’s the same for you.” She stifled a yawn with the back of her hand.
“I capture criminals, so I see the dark side of people. In your job you interacted with all sorts of folks in all kinds of situations. You’re tired.
Let’s get you to bed.” He was up off the floor before she could climb off his lap with her cradled in his arms, his incredible strength something she’d never get used to.
“Isn’t it time we take something for ourselves?”
She wanted to grab onto what he offered with both hands, but it was too soon .
.. for both of them. Cyrus was acting on instinct, which was all fine and good, but that didn’t mean they could live with each other on a daily basis.
They’d had no sense of normalcy since they’d found each other again.
Mating wasn’t something that could be undone if either of them changed their mind.
It had been wrong of her to seek him out for sex before she’d made up her mind about staying, to use him as a distraction from her problems. He deserved better. They both did.
He set her down the bed, but she grabbed his hand.
“Stay. Just to sleep,” she clarified. “I don’t think either of us should be alone.
” They’d both unloaded a lot of emotional baggage.
When he hesitated, she released him. “I’m sorry.
I’m being insensitive. This must be hard for you.
” She almost rolled her eyes at her unfortunate choice of words, chalking it up to sleep deprivation.
His rough laugh skated over her skin like a caress. “You have no idea how hard.” He adjusted the front of his jeans, which meant, of course, she looked right at the large bulge outlined there.
“You can go back to your room or out for a run or whatever you need to do. I’ll be fine.
We’ll be fine.” It occurred to her he was probably sticking around for her and Adam when his wolf probably wanted to be outside.
She had to do some reading about wolves to understand him and their son better.
The idea of co-parenting was going to take time to get used to, but Adam deserved to have both parents.
He’d never complained, but she knew he’d felt the lack of a father figure his entire life.
“Move over.” When she scooted to the far side of the bed, he sprawled out beside her. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.” He turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. The moonlight streaming through the window added to the intimacy of the moment.
She turned onto her side facing him. “I’ve never slept with a man before. I mean, I’ve had sex, obviously, but I’ve never actually spent an entire night in bed with a man.”
“How is that possible?” His astonishment was a boost to her ego.
“The rare times I dated, I never stayed the night anywhere. I certainly wasn’t bringing a man home to my mother’s house. Then it got to be too much trouble to even date.”
“I don’t date.” He turned his head toward her.
“I won’t lie and say I haven’t slept with women.
” She ignored the twisting sensation in her stomach.
Cyrus was gorgeous in a rough way, dangerous, and sexy.
Women would flock to him like moths to a flame.
“But there’s only one who left her mark on me.
” He ran a finger down the side of her face.
She cleared her throat. Uncertain what to say to that, she switched subjects. “What are your plans for the next month? I mean, you probably have jobs lined up.” He had a life, commitments he’d made before she came back into his life.
“You and Adam are my priority.”
She raised herself up on one arm and leaned over Cyrus.
“Thank you.” She pressed her lips against his, intending it to be a quick kiss of thanks, but ended up lingering when his tongue slid over her bottom lip, luring her deeper.
There was something irresistible about a tough man who lowered his guard enough to be vulnerable.
Making a rough sound in his throat, he pulled her on top of him, his hands plastered to her behind, his erection rubbing against her.
A delicious heat snaked through her, arrowing down to her core.
With a groan, he rolled to the side and flipped her around so she was facing away from him.
They were both breathing heavily. They’d gone from zero to sixty in about two seconds. Talk about highly combustible.
Knowing he was able to smell her arousal added to her embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I was the one who laid down the ground rules and then I broke them. I honestly only meant it as a good night kiss.” Her behind was tucked up next to his groin, his erection pressing against it.
“You never need to apologize for kissing me.” He pressed his lips to her temple, then to her nape, sending shivers down her spine.
“I didn’t mean to tease.” She wasn’t that kind of woman.
“I know. Go to sleep.” He pressed his hand flat against her stomach.
Probably to hold her in place and ensure she didn’t roll over and jump his bones.
Lying in the dark like this heightened her senses, made her very aware of Cyrus, of how easy it would be to slide out of their clothing.
After objecting earlier, she couldn’t change her mind. It sucked to be an adult some days.
She closed her eyes, but that somehow made it worse. The light brush of his breath against her skin was maddening. Her nipples were so hard they ached. If he slid his hand up a few inches, he’d find that out for himself.
Making a sound of frustration, she took a deep breath and then another in a desperate attempt to relax. Maybe asking him to sleep with her wasn’t the brightest idea, but she wasn’t about to send him away. Her bed had always been a lonely, solitary one. This was special.
The sounds of the forest whispered into the room. It was impossible to tell if Cyrus was asleep or awake. He was still, his breathing even. She followed the in-and-out breaths, matching them. Her muscles gradually relaxed and she drifted toward sleep.
I could get used to this.
****
The next couple days passed in relative quiet, all of them on their best behavior as they learned to coexist. He and Adam spent early mornings roaming the mountain in both human and wolf form, testing his reflexes and abilities.
It was rewarding to share his knowledge with his son, as he had with his brothers, to watch him become more accustomed to his wolf.
They were both learning his limitations.
His senses were enhanced, but not as much as a full-blooded wolf.
Or maybe that would come with age. There was no blueprint for this.
When Adam became frustrated, Cyrus taught him to work with what he had.
It was all new to him, but he was eager to learn, if still a bit standoffish.
All his brothers except Zach and Eli had left on jobs.
Zach had become a ghost, spending most of his days working or out running.
Eli had taken Kinley to Louisville for a couple of days.
They’d done it so he could have some alone time with Vinnie and his son.
He appreciated it while trying not to feel guilty for driving them out of their home.