Chapter 8 #2
"Exactly," Chloe agrees. "Most people spend their whole lives not knowing what they need, let alone being honest enough to pursue it."
"I kept thinking doing this makes me weak or stupid," I admit. "Like, we’re setting feminism back fifty years with our relationship choices."
"Lily, look at me." Madison's voice is serious.
"Feminism is about choice. You choosing to submit to Ethan in this specific context doesn't make you weak.
It makes you powerful. Because you're taking ownership of your needs and building a relationship that actually serves you.
You get the choice to consent and to withdraw your consent and that is sexy. "
"She's right," Emily adds. "As long as it's consensual and healthy and makes you happy, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."
"Is it healthy?" Maya asks gently. "Like, does it feel balanced? Are you getting what you need?"
I think about the past few days. The way Ethan listens, how he respects my boundaries even while pushing me to explore new ones and makes me feel valued and cherished and safe.
"Yeah," I say. "It's healthy. He never takes without giving or getting consent. And he always, always puts my wellbeing first. He’s selfless in many ways."
"Then that's all that matters," Amber says.
"Can I ask one more thing?" Holly says.
"Sure."
"We all read DDlg books and we all identify as littles. I want to know though, what does being a little mean to you, specifically?"
I bite my lip. "It means being able to drop the adult mask sometimes. To be playful and silly and not always in control. For me being a little is letting someone else make the decisions when I'm overwhelmed and to be taken care of without feeling like I'm being infantilized."
"Does he call you baby? Little one? That sort of thing?"
"Sweetheart mostly. Sometimes baby. And once..." Heat floods my face. "This morning, I called him Daddy."
The room erupts again.
"How did that feel?" Madison asks, clearly fascinated.
"Right. Terrifying and right. Like I'd been holding that word inside forever and finally let it out."
"What did he do when you said it?"
"Groaned. Called me his good girl. Then proceeded to make me count every swat while explaining why I needed to take better care of myself."
"That's hot," Holly says again. "Like, genuinely hot."
"It was. But it was also more than that. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that kind of intimacy with someone, it’s a connection unlike any I’ve known, built entirely on trust. I trusted him to know when to stop, not go overboard and also balance so I had enough.
" I look around at my friends. "I've had sex before.
But I've never experienced anything like this.
Where my body and my emotions and my needs are all tangled together and someone sees all of it and loves all of it. "
"That's what you deserve," Emily says softly. "Someone who sees all of you and loves all of you."
"Ethan does. Even the messy parts."
Chloe comes over and hugs me. "I'm happy for you, Lily. Really happy."
One by one, the other girls join in until we're all tangled together in a group hug.
"Thank you," I whisper. "For understanding and being here for me."
"Always," Madison says. "That's what we're here for."
We pull apart, and I wipe at my eyes.
"So," Maya says, grinning. "When do we get to interrogate Ethan about all this?"
"Never. Absolutely never."
"Too late," Amber says, showing me her phone. "I already texted him to come to the next meeting."
"You didn't!"
"I did. And he said yes. Something about wanting to meet the women who are important to you."
My heart swells. Of course he did.
"He's going to charm you all," I warn.
"Good," Holly says. "We want to be charmed. And then we want to make sure he knows that if he hurts you, we have very specific plans involving his medical license and a lot of angry women."
I laugh despite myself. "You guys are the best."
"We know," Madison says. "Now let's talk about something else before I get too invested in your sex life."
Just like the last two days with Ethan, the girls and I talk for hours. We chat about relationships and boundaries and what it means to give yourself to someone completely. The girls share their own experiences including the good, the bad, the messy.
Madison talks about the first time Ty disciplined her and how it changed their entire dynamic for the better.
Holly shares that Justin is more of a soft Dom, preferring praise and guidance over anything physical, although occasionally he absolutely will give her a hard spanking if she deserves it, and how that balance works perfectly for her.
Emily admits she's explored something similar before but hasn't found the right person to commit to yet. Chloe, Maya, and Amber listen with fascination, asking questions, sharing observations.
By the time I leave, I feel steadier. More confident in what Ethan and I are building.
My phone buzzes as I'm driving home.
Ethan: How was your meeting?
Lily: I told them everything.
Ethan: Everything?
Lily: About the spanking. The dynamic. Calling you Daddy.
Ethan: And?
Lily: They were amazing. Supportive. They want to meet you officially.
Ethan: I miss you already.
Lily: I miss you too, Daddy.
Ethan: Good girl. Drive safe.
I pull into traffic, a smile spreading across my face.
I have friends who love me for exactly who I am.
I have a career that might finally be taking off.
For the first time in my life, I'm not trying to be someone I'm not.
I'm just being me.
And that's more than enough.
Ethan: Are you free for dinner tomorrow?
Lily: With you? Always.
Ethan: Good. I want to take you somewhere nice. Celebrate properly.
Lily: Celebrate what?
Ethan: Us.