Chapter 9
The restaurant Ethan chooses is the kind of place I've only seen in magazines.
I look around at the soft lighting, white tablecloths, and the sommelier who takes wine selection very seriously and immediately feel out of place.
I'm wearing the lavender dress from the party because it's the nicest thing I own. Ethan is in a dark suit that makes him look like he walked off the pages of GQ. It is clearly not the one he had on at the party.
We're seated at a corner table with a view of the city lights, and I can't stop staring at him.
"What?" he asks, amused.
"You're really pretty."
He laughs. "Pretty?"
"Handsome? Gorgeous? I'm running out of adjectives."
"How about we focus on you?" His gaze travels over me appreciatively. "You're stunning tonight."
"You've seen this dress before."
"Doesn't make it less true."
The waiter appears with menus, and Ethan orders wine without consulting me.
The gesture should probably annoy me, but instead it turns me on.
I trust him to know wine better than I do.
His age and profession tell me he has more experience in drinking wine than I do.
I don’t even like wine. I should probably tell him that at one point.
Not right now. Not when he’s ordering for me.
He's taking care of me.
"So," I say once we're alone again. "What are we celebrating exactly?"
"Many things. First, the success of the party, my mom called me again today to let me know how much she enjoyed it and how much it meant to her.
Your new design opportunity, I have faith you will land the job.
Us." He reaches across the table and takes my hand.
"The fact that you walked into my life carrying groceries and changed everything. "
My throat tightens. "I didn't change anything."
"You changed me." His thumb traces patterns on my palm. "I've been going through the motions for years, Lily. Work, home, family obligations. Rinse and repeat. And then you showed up, flustered and apologetic, with a book you were embarrassed about, and suddenly everything felt different."
"How?"
"Like I was waking up. Paying attention. Seeing possibilities I'd stopped looking for. After years of dating and never finding what I was looking for, I’d all but given up until you appeared."
I swallow hard. "I feel the same way. Like my life was this narrow little path, and then you appeared and suddenly there's this whole world, I didn't know existed."
"What world is that?"
"One where a much older man who is way out of my league takes interest in me." I take a shaky breath. "One where I can be honest about what I need without feeling dirty."
His expression softens. "You're not out of my league and I don’t like you speaking about yourself that way, and you are far from dirty. You are pure. One of the most pure hearted women I’ve ever met. I can’t imagine anyone ever thinking of you as dirty."
"I know. Logically, I know. But there's this voice in my head that says wanting this dynamic makes me weak and perverted."
"And what does your heart say?"
I close my eyes, letting myself feel. "My heart says this is exactly what I've been looking for my whole life."
When I open my eyes, Ethan is looking at me with such tenderness it steals my breath.
"Then trust your heart," he says quietly.
The food arrives, and we eat slowly, talking about everything. My design aspirations. His work at the hospital. Our families. Our fears.
"How long have you known you were interested in being in a Daddy little girl relationship?" I ask over dessert.
He sets down his fork. "Honestly? I was sixteen when my high school girl introduced me to kink.
Dom and sub, BDSM, Fifty Shades types. I was intrigued and I tried it out.
Then, I explored more a few times over the years with different relationships, but it never quite fit.
Once I sat down and really thought about what I wanted and defined it, I knew I was a Daddy Dom and not a regular BDSM Dominant or Master.
I want to be in charge but I also want to take care of my girl and cuddle and spoil her.
Once I knew I was a Daddy, I tried to introduce my girlfriends into the lifestyle.
Either they wanted something more extreme than I was comfortable with, or they weren't really interested in the dynamic, just the aesthetics of it. "
"What's the difference?"
"The dynamic is about care. About creating a space where both people feel safe to be vulnerable. The aesthetics are just... roleplay. Surface level." He pauses. "Does that make sense?"
"Perfect sense. And with me?"
"With you, it feels real. Natural. It felt very right when I was spanking your cute little butt last night. It feels like this is who we’re meant to be together."
My heart swells. "I feel that too."
"Good." He signals for the check. "Now let's get out of here. I have something I want to show you."
He drives us back to his house, and I'm surprised when he leads me not inside but around to the backyard.
The garden is lit with string lights, creating a magical glow. In the center is a blanket spread out on the grass, surrounded by pillows. This is a little’s dream. I keep myself from rushing forward and tossing myself on the ground.
"What's this?" I ask, delighted.
"I thought we could stargaze, maybe I could see some more of your little." He guides me to the blanket. "Is this okay?"
"It's perfect."
We lie down side by side, looking up at the sky. The stars are bright tonight, scattered across the darkness like diamonds.
"I used to do this with my dad," Ethan says quietly. "Before he died. He'd take me out to the backyard and we'd try to find constellations."
"Did you ever find any?"
"Not really. We mostly just made up our own." He points up. "See that cluster? Dad called it 'The Raccoon.' Said it looked like one stealing trash."
I laugh. "I don't see it."
"You have to squint. And use your imagination." I giggle.
"I see a squirrel and a butterfly!" I’m giddy as I point them out.
"You are so damn cute." He rolls over until he’s on top of me, but braces himself on his elbows.
He looks down at me before lowering his lips in an incredibly claiming kiss.
After a minute, he rolls back off and pulls me over to him.
My head is resting on his chest, and I continue to point out different designs in the sky.
An elephant, a seal with a ball on his nose and finally an octopus.
"Lily," Ethan says eventually. "I need to tell you something."
My stomach tightens. "Okay."
"My family is going to have questions. About you and about us."
"Because of the age gap?"
"Partially. But also because they're protective. They've seen me in relationships that didn't work. They'll want to make sure you're different."
"Am I different?"
"Completely. You aren’t a gold chaser. You aren’t after me for the clout of being with a doctor." He rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. "But they'll need to see that for themselves."
"When?"
"Claire texted me this morning. She wants to have lunch with you. Just the two of you."
My eyes widen. "She does?"
"She liked you, a lot. She asked for your number at the party, and she's curious about the woman who managed to get me to smile more in one week than I have in the past year."
"That's sweet and terrifying."
"She's going to love you." His hand cups my face. "How could she not?"
"You're biased."
"Absolutely." He leans down, kissing me softly. "But I'm also right."
The kiss deepens, and soon we're tangled together on the blanket, hands exploring, breath mingling.
When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.
"We should probably slow down," Ethan says, though he makes no move to let me go.
"Probably," I agree.
"Or..." His lips trail down my neck. "We could go inside. Take this somewhere more comfortable."
My pulse races. "Is that what you want?"
"I want whatever you're ready for. No more, no less." He pulls back to look at me. "What do you want, Lily?"
I want everything.
I want him. On me. Over me. In me. I want it all.
I want this.
"Inside," I whisper. "Let's go inside."
He stands, pulling me up with him. We gather the blanket and pillows in a rush, laughing as we stumble toward the house.
Once inside, Ethan leads me upstairs to his bedroom. But instead of pulling me toward the bed, he stops.
"Before we do this, I need to know you're sure."
"I'm sure."
"And you'll tell me if anything doesn't feel right?"
"I will."
"Promise me, Lily."
I take his face in my hands. "I promise. I trust you, Ethan. Completely."
Something in his expression shifts. Relief mixed with desire mixed with something that looks almost like aggression.
"Good girl," he murmurs.
Then he kisses me, and the world falls away.
Once inside, Ethan leads me upstairs to his bedroom. My heart pounds so hard I'm certain he can hear it. The hallway feels longer than usual, each step weighted with anticipation and nerves and desire so acute it makes my skin hypersensitive.
When we reach his room, he doesn't immediately pull me toward the bed. Instead, he stops just inside the doorway, turning to face me. The lamplight casts shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp line of his jaw, the intensity in his eyes.
"Before we do this, I need to know you're sure." His voice is rough, strained. Like he's holding himself back with everything he has.
"I'm sure."
"Lily." He steps closer, his hands settling on my waist. "Once we cross this line, everything changes. I need you to understand that. Even more than the spanking I gave you. Having sex makes this official and you will be mine."
"I understand."