Chapter 20
Right.
Now, she got it.
Of course, any living room would seem boring in comparison to this place.
LittleLand was amazing. And the clue to what it was was in the name.
It was a store dedicated to Littles. She’d had no idea that anything like this existed.
And as Cash led her through, showing her all the different areas where she could relax and play, she realized that he’d figured it out.
There’s no way he would have brought her here unless he thought she was a Little. Ralen must have known too.
They stopped in front of an area, which had been built into one corner. It had a plush, fluffy sofa against the wall. There were shelves with books and a really soft-looking pink rug on the floor. There were also blankets and stuffed toys. It looked like an absolute dream.
“Some of the Littles wait in here while their Mommy or Daddy does some shopping,” Cash explained.
“How did you know?” she asked without looking up at him. She was holding onto his hand. When they’d left the others, Cash had taken hold of her hand and told her to stay close.
She hadn’t questioned it. She hadn’t really questioned much of the way that he’d treated her. She should have figured it out.
“I had a feeling,” he said. “Us Daddies can sometimes tell.”
She froze. For some reason, she hadn’t yet figured out that he was a Daddy.
“You’re a Daddy.” It was more a statement than a question because that made total sense. The way he looked out for her, his lack of reaction to her having Snaggles, him wrapping her up in blankets and rocking her on his lap while telling her a story.
“Yeah, I am,” he said. “Does that surprise you? Do you think I’m too young or too reckless? That I wouldn’t be able to take care of a Little?”
There was a strange note in his voice. He almost sounded like he was accusing her of thinking those things, but she’d never once thought them. Hurt filled her. He’d never spoken to her like this, and she didn’t like it.
She slid her hand from his and took a step away, hunching her shoulders. Maybe he wasn’t such a nice guy after all.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck.
What was he thinking? Why had he done that? He’d just taken things that other people had said to him and placed them on her shoulders. She’d never once said anything like that. She’d never given him any indication that she thought that way about him.
So why was he trying to paint her with those accusations?
“Fuck, I was just a complete asshole, wasn’t I? I’m so sorry, Addie. You didn’t deserve any of that.”
She startled and glanced up at him with surprise on her face. Had she not expected him to own up to that?
“You said sorry.”
Or was it the apology that had her looking so amazed? Was she not used to people apologizing when they were in the wrong?
“Yeah, because I am. You didn’t deserve all of that vitriol that I just spewed at you. I was just taking my own insecurities and putting them on you.”
“You have insecurities?” She moved closer, staring up at him in amazement.
“Pretty sure everyone does, Stowaway,” he told her as he brushed some hair back behind her ear.
God, she was gorgeous. How had he not noticed it in the bar? He guessed that her other traits had been more noticeable at first, like how quiet and nervous she was, jumping at every loud noise.
But the more time he spent with her, the more he realized how stunning and special she was.
“Do you really think so?” she asked with wonder.
“Even those people who seem ultra confident and act like they know what they’re doing have insecurities and fears.” He thought about that for a moment. “Well, there’s probably one or two exceptions to that.”
He doubted that the Fox ever had any insecurities or worries about what he might have done.
But there weren’t many people like the Fox.
“The difference is whether you’re willing to admit to them or not.
Whether you let them take over your life or you use them to make you a better person.
I shouldn’t let what I worry about turn me into a jerk or an asshole, like just now when I fired them out at you and you looked like I’d hit you.
That makes me feel like a class-A jerk. I don’t want to feel like that. So I own up when I’m a jerk.”
“That’s amazing. I wish more people were like you.”
Cash snorted. “I bet you weren’t thinking that when I told you that you couldn’t leave the table until you’d eaten more of your food.”
She smiled. “You could be right.”
“I’ve had a few people make comments about how I couldn’t possibly be a good Daddy with my lifestyle, my age, and my temper.
But I know I can. I’ve spent time with Littles.
Ralen and I have gone to a club a lot and helped in the Little rooms. I actually feel calmer and more in control when I have a Little to take care of. ”
She could understand that.
“There were a number of clues that you were a Little, but I was more certain once I saw your face when we walked into LittleLand. If you weren’t a Little, you might have been more confused. But you looked like somebody who had been let into a candy store and told to go wild.”
Yeah, she guessed that was a good description for how she’d felt.
“Will you be happy waiting here?” he asked.
Happy? Yeah, she’d be happy if she had to move in here.
“That’s what I thought,” he said, obviously reading the look on her face.
He cupped her face between his large, warm hands.
“I need you to stay here, though. Promise me. There are cameras everywhere, so I’ll be keeping an eye on you, but I want you just in this small area.
It’s safe. I just don’t want you wandering around on your own.
Little girls shouldn’t be left unattended, but it can’t be helped. ”
Did he just really call her a Little girl? Was he trying to Daddy her? She’d never had that before, so she couldn’t really be sure, but she felt this sort of strange, tingly, jumpy feeling in her stomach, like nerves, but happy nerves rather than anxious ones.
“Addie, I’m going to need some sign that you heard me,” he said in a firmer voice.
Oh, Lord. It was like he was reaching into her head and finding exactly what she wanted, then giving it to her. Addie had been certain that she would never experience anything like this. And now that she was, she was kind of worried she’d mess it all up.
What must it be like not to be riddled by anxiety all the time?
Did other people just go about their lives without worrying about everything they said and did and whether it was wrong?
Whether they would upset people? Or think about every interaction afterward, dissecting it and trying to figure out whether they’d done anything wrong.
Did other people not see threats at every corner? Did they not get a cold and think they were going to get pneumonia and die?
How much space would there be left in her head for other things if she could just get past all the things that worried her?
If her mother’s voice didn’t keep coming back to her.
Don’t go near that person, they could have germs.
Don’t speak to that person. They could be mean.
Don’t eat that food. You didn’t prepare it. Someone could poison you.
A party? Certainly not. Someone could drug you.
Don’t you know that people are just looking for pretty little girls like you to steal and sell into slavery?
When Addie was twelve, she’d actually made a friend who had invited her to play. But her mother had refused to let her go because she was concerned that they would drug and hurt her.
In the end, she’d had to sneak out of the window of the two-story house and climb down the large tree next to it. She’d made it down and gone to Jenny’s house.
Jenny was the only person at school who had ever shown her true kindness, and there had been no way that Addie wouldn’t go to her house that afternoon.
It had been the most amazing afternoon of her life, but when she’d tried to climb back up the tree, she’d slipped and fallen, breaking her wrist.
After that, her mother had taken her out of school. Even though school had been a struggle at times, it had meant seeing Monroe and Dotty every day.
However, once Mother pulled her out, she’d barely seen them at all. Mother had kept a closer eye on her, so it was harder to sneak out, and she hadn’t liked when Monroe or Dotty would come over to see Addie.
It wasn’t until their father decided to intervene and demand some parental rights that she’d gotten out of the house. She didn’t know how Dotty had done it, but she was certain that she’d had something on their father to make him do that.
Their father was a selfish asshole. He couldn’t have fathered three kids with three separate women and spend time with none of them and still be a decent person.
He’d never shown up at anything that involved the three of them, not one of Dotty’s award ceremonies, or Monroe’s cheerleading events or drama productions.
So he definitely wasn’t going to win any Father of the Year awards. They weren’t even certain that he’d only fathered the three of them. Dotty thought that there were probably more half-siblings out there.
The way their father had treated them had affected all three sisters. Just in different ways.
Addie nodded at Cash as she stared up into his intense gaze. “Yes, I will.”
“That’s my good girl. This shouldn’t take too long and then I’ll take you for a tour if you like.”
This might be the only time she ever got to be in a place like this with a man like him, and she was going to take the opportunity when it arose.
Addie settled in on the sofa and grabbed a book. Cash picked up a blanket and tucked it around her. She wasn’t even thinking about the fact that she was in a strange place. She wasn’t thinking about everything that could go wrong. She was thinking that she was snugly and warm.
Safe.