CHAINS
thirty
“Asher said I’d find you here.” Evan strolls into my office. I rise from the chair and give my brother a shoulder tap and back slap. Having him back in my life is something I never thought possible. And I’m forever grateful.
Evan takes a seat next to me at the monitors. Monitors I’ve been staring at nonstop since we opened for the night. Even though Daisy said she was having a girls’ night, I’m hoping she’ll walk in. It’s been three hours and twenty-six minutes, and there’s no sign of her.
“The club’s busy,” Evan points out.
“You here on your own?” I know he is. I saw him walk in.
“Yep.”
“Sally coming to the club tonight?” I try to sound casual.
Evan chuckles. “Why the interest in where Sally is? Didn’t Daisy tell you they’re having girls’ night?”
I look sightlessly at the crowd. “Just making conversation. Geez, is that a crime?”
“Why don’t you admit you’re pining for Daisy?”
My head swivels toward Evan. Appauled, I scoff, “What the hell? I don’t pine.”
“That’s not what Linc and Ash are saying. And from the looks of you, you’re a miserable man.”
“Don’t listen to anything they say. They’re full of shit. And I’m not miserable. This is how I always look.”
“When you’re with Daisy, you are happy. Always smiling. Damn, I thought you were going to break out in a song and dance a couple of times. One day without her and you’re a grouch.” His lips twitch with mirth.
I scowl. “I’m no fucking Disney character.”
“As I said, one day without her and you’re a grouch.” His expression turns serious. “I can tell you like Daisy. When are you making it official?”
“Official?”
“Ask her to be your girlfriend. Move in together. Stuff like that.”
I shake my head. “That’s not happening.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t give her what she wants.”
“What does she want?”
“Me. I think she’s falling for me.” She’s never said the words. I see it in the way she looks at me. I should’ve pulled away at the first sign.
He gives me a confused look. “What’s the problem?”
I push away from the desk and stand. “I think she loves me. That’s the problem.”
Evan gets to his feet, confusion etched deep on his face. “You should be happy that a woman like Daisy loves you. How do you know how she feels?”
I shrug. “Just a feeling I’m getting.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
Linking my fingers together, I place my hands behind my head and stare at my feet. “No, it’s not.”
“You don’t love her?” The incredulous tone in Evan’s face makes me look at him.
I work my throat to get the word ‘no’ out. It doesn’t come out. Instead, I say, “She’s better off without me.”
“Does she think that?”
Dropping my arms to my sides, I exhale a hard breath. “I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you ask her?”
“I don’t need to. She doesn’t fit in here.”
“Isn’t that for her to decide?”
I throw up my hands. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I think she loves me. Or she thinks she does.”
“And you didn’t answer me. You don’t love her?”
I scrub my hands over my face. Again, I’m having trouble saying the word ‘no’. “I’ve never loved a woman in my life. How do I know what it’s supposed to feel like?”
Evan leans a hip on the desk. “The woman you’re in love with should be on your mind constantly.
You want to spend every second with her.
Hold her, kiss her every chance you get.
Be so wrapped up in her happiness, you’d do anything to keep a smile on her face.
And when you haven’t seen each other for a few hours or days, your body is about bursting to get to her. ”
Shit! Everything Evan has said is exactly how I feel about Daisy. Not ready to admit anything, I say, “How do you know this stuff?”
He grins and dips his head.
“Holy shit! You’re in love with Sally?” With the dopey expression on his face, I already know the answer. “When did this happen?”
“The first night we kissed, my heart just about broke out of my chest. I knew something special was happening. When I kissed Daisy, there was no spark. With Sally, there were fireworks.”
Every muscle in my body coils, ready to ram into him. “When the fuck did you kiss Daisy?”
He holds out his hand. “Relax. Geez. It was when we were kind of dating. It was more of an experiment to see if there was anything between us. And as you know, there wasn’t.”
My body loosens a little. I still want to punch him in the face for touching my girl.
My girl.
That’s what she is to me.
“Even if I do love Daisy, it would never work.”
“Why?”
“Our lives are too different.”
Evan waves a hand between us. “We may have started our lives together living in the same environment, but for years we were miles apart. Your life is far from what I’m used to, yet here we are, fitting in with one another.”
“That’s different.”
“Daisy knows what your world's about. She’s accepted it. Already a part of it.” Evan scratches the back of his neck in thought. “What if you become part of her life?”
“What do you mean?”
“Go to her church. Get involved.”
I feel my eyeballs bug out of their sockets. “You want me to go to church? If I step one foot inside that building, I’ll turn to ash.”
Evan chuckles. “You’re exaggerating. You’ll get struck by lightning, but you’ll survive.”
“I’ve never gone to church in my life.”
“If it’s important to Daisy, and you want a future with her, then maybe now’s the time to start.”
“Can I do it? Go to her church?”
“The question isn’t if you can or can’t go to church. It’s, can you live without Daisy?”
“What do you wear to fucking church?”
Evan smiles. “Let me help you.”