DAISY
thirty-one
“Refreshments will be served in the hall for anyone who would like a chat,” my father offers after the service like he does every week. And like every week, I’ll be by his side, smiling and making small talk. As we begin to make our way out of the church, I spot someone sitting in the back corner.
My feet fumble.
My heart stops.
Kade?
I blink rapidly to clear my vision in case I’m seeing things.
My father turns to me. “Are you okay?”
I drag my gaze away from Kade. “Yes, sorry. I tripped.”
My chest rises and falls. What is Kade doing here?
When I’m about to pass him, our eyes lock. A shadow of a smile is on his face.
Once outside, I step away from my father. “I’ll meet you in the hall soon. There’s something I need to do.”
His brow creases slightly. “Be quick. We had a full church today. A few new faces. I’ll need help in case they have any questions.”
One of the ‘new faces’ happens to be Kade. “Sure. I won’t be long.”
By now, everyone has left the church, except for Kade, who’s still sitting in the last row, looking uncomfortable and out of place. As soon as he sees me, he rises to his feet. And that’s when I notice he’s not dressed in his usual black.
A white buttoned shirt opened at the throat is stretched over his broad shoulders and tucked into a pair of navy pants.
“Kade?”
“Hey, Daisy Chain.” My nickname in his deep voice washes over me, warming me like the summer sun. Two nights without him have been torture.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed to talk to you.” He scans the church, looking uncomfortable. “Is there somewhere we can talk?”
“Yes, through here.” I lead him on shaky legs to a room attached to the church where my father likes to get ready for service and go through his sermon.
The room is small, with a tiny, colorful stained-glass window high up on the wall. In this tiny room, Kade’s huge presence takes up the space.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
Oh, God. Is he about to end things with me? I can feel the cracks in my heart forming. “What is it?”
“All my life, I was led to believe I wasn’t worthy of anything.
Not worthy of a family, a career, friends…
love. When you’re constantly reminded of it, it doesn’t take long to believe it.
But you, Daisy, have opened my eyes… heart.
You have shown me that I am worthy of those things.
That I deserve them. People in my life love me for who I am.
And I have to stop believing that I can’t return their love.
” My body trembles. “I’m here to tell you that I’ve lied to you. ”
I frown. “About what?”
“I told you I can’t do relationships. But with you, I want one. I want a future with you.”
I touch my fingertips to my trembling lips. “What?” My heart pounds against my ribs. Kade, the man who told me he never does relationships, is standing here talking about wanting a future with me. Happiness explodes inside me, making me a little dizzy.
He takes a deep, shuddery breath and cups my face in his hands.
“Before you, my life was empty. I filled it with work so I wouldn’t have to feel anything.
The day I met you is the day I came to life.
Feelings I didn’t understand poured through me.
You showed me what they meant. Daisy Barlowe, you’re the best part of me.
I love you. I love you so much. I may not know how relationships work, but I promise every day, I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and protect your heart. ”
Hot tears run down my face, and he swipes them away with his thumbs. My throat is too clogged up with emotion to speak, so I cup his face like he’s cupping mine and pull him down to me to kiss. I pour all my love into it. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he kisses me back with so much passion.
When we break away, my chest heaves as I catch my breath. I’ve never felt so happy in my life. To think, I was ready for my heart to shatter. “Kade, I love you too. I know my heart is safe with you.”
He breathes out a relieved breath. “God, I was so scared you mightn’t feel the same.”
This big, tough man was scared? His vulnerability squeezes my heart. “I love you, Kade Sullivan. Always. I was on my way to tell you.”
“You were?”
I nod.
“Great minds.” He smiles, and it zaps through my chest.
“I love you so much, Kade.” I need to pinch myself in case I’m dreaming.
He rests his forehead on mine. “I love hearing those words from you.”
“I love hearing those words too.”
“I’m going to tell you every day for the rest of our lives. You’re gonna get sick of hearing it.” He smiles, and boy, I feel it all the way down to my toes.
“I’ll never get sick of hearing it.”
I press my hands to his chest and run them up to hook behind his neck. “You look good in these clothes. I didn’t know you owned anything that isn’t black.” I giggle.
“I don’t. I borrowed them from Evan. I thought these were more church-appropriate than my gear.” His nose screws up like he hates the shirt and pants.
“I think it’s sexy. But I like your dark and dangerous look too.”
His hands slide down to my butt, and he cups me, pulling me close. “You like a bad boy, do you?” He nuzzles my neck.
“Hmm-hmm.” I sigh. Before I lose myself in this bliss, I pull back.
“I need to talk to my father about us. Jeremy told him about seeing us in the club. How what we were doing was damaging to my reputation, and that you’re not suitable for me.”
“I knew I should’ve kicked that weasel’s ass.” His face darkens.
“I wish you did too.”
He runs his hand through my hair. “Will your father accept our relationship?”
I sigh heavily. “I’m not sure. Eventually, maybe?” Or is it wishful thinking?
“Let me talk to him. Once he knows how much I love you, hopefully he’ll come around.”
“It’s probably best if I do it. I’ll talk to him after morning tea when everyone’s left.”
“Do you want me to stay?”
I shake my head. “No, I think it’ll be best if it’s only me for now.”
He nods.
“I better get back. He’ll be wondering where I am.” I turn to leave.
Kade grasps my wrists and pulls me back. “Not so fast.”
He nudges me against the desk, kissing me long and deep, which sets my body on fire.
Mrs. Goldstein could walk in at any moment, and I don’t care. All I care about is being in Kade’s arms again.
And I never want to leave.
***
I didn’t get a chance to talk to my father, as a new couple invited him to their house for a coffee. So I decide to go to his house and wait for him to come home. I don’t want to put this off longer.
As I walk through the quiet house, I notice that my memories of my mother are fading. I only vaguely remember her laughter and singing to me and sitting on her lap while she read me a story.
Feeling nostalgic, I head to the guest bedroom where boxes of her things are in the closet.
I haven’t looked at them in years. I pull out a timber chest with a bunch of clothes my father said he didn’t have the heart to donate.
When I open the lid, a musky scent of something that hasn’t been aired for years wafts toward me.
Inside, very simple skirts and blouses fill the box.
There’s not a speck of color in any of the fabric.
Did she ever dress up in anything fancy or sexy?
Next, I pull out a box of books and magazines.
Mostly Christian literature. As I flick through them, I wonder if everything about her life revolved around the church?
Was she that dedicated? Next, I take out a jewelery box.
Inside, I find gold studs, two pearl necklaces, and a smooth silver bangle.
Nothing flashy or blingy. I clip one around my neck, placing my fingers over the tiny beads as I try to remember her wearing them.
When I put the box back, the bottom of the chest moves, and when I touch it, the bottom tilts slightly.
With my fingernail, I lift what I thought was the base of the chest and find there’s a false bottom.
It’s a hidden compartment, and inside is what looks like a diary and a bunch of letters addressed to her with a blue ribbon tied around them.
On closer inspection, they’re dated before she married my father.
Untying the ribbon, I flip the top envelope over to see that the return address says they’re from someone named David Concord.
A name I’ve never heard before. Opening one, I scan its contents.
It’s a love letter, with David gushing about how much he loves her and misses her when she flies home for the holidays.
A smile tugs at my lips, and I place my hand over my heart.
She had a college sweetheart. Was this her first love? I wonder why they broke up?
If these letters were hidden in a secret compartment, is it because she couldn’t part with them? Or did she hide them because Dad didn’t know about them or the man who sent them?
I read a couple more letters, and they are so heartfelt; his love for her jumps from the pages.
Next, I pick up the diary, and for the next hour, I get lost in their love story, but I skip over the more intimate details. That’s something I don’t need to read about. But from the little I’d read, my mother was no virgin when she married my father.
This romance was like a fairy tale. I can’t imagine what tore them apart.
After a few more pages, I find out.
She writes about how David got a job in London. And as much as she begged her parents to let her go with him, they refused. Although now in her early twenties and technically an adult, she didn’t go against her family.
They tried having a long-distance relationship.
They called once a week, and David visited for the holidays.
After a year of long distance, she described how the phone calls lessened and holidays passed without him returning home.
Even though her heart was breaking, she held onto hope that one day he’d come back for her, and they’d marry and start a life together.
He never did.