Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Alder
Now that the snow was melting, I opened the garage doors and let the sunshine in. The cool temps of late April were giving way to warmer weather. I was mostly sure we were out from under the threat of snow.
I took inventory of my tools. Since I’d moved here in the middle of winter, I hadn’t unpacked more than what I had needed. Now I was straightening my standing toolbox, opening drawers and lining all the screwdrivers and wrenches up. I had a separate portable toolbox for in the house. For years, I’d had little to spend my nice salary on.
The sound of Daisy’s car coasting down the driveway reached me. Daisy had said she’d run to the grocery store after work. This week had been rougher for her, with Laila being sick with a cold and needier. Daisy had only met me in my bedroom once after bedtime.
I meandered into the middle of the garage opening. My pickup was parked outside. I wanted to sweep out all the dirt and grit that had accumulated over the winter, but I’d do that before I went in to clean up. No need to marinate in a dust cloud.
Daisy parked in front of me. In the back seat, Laila waved, her grin wide. I’d never tire of those greetings, not after her dubious frowns when we’d all moved in together.
In the two months since Daisy and I had been sleeping together, Laila hadn’t caught us, but she’d made sure to tell me good night and good morning, and if I was home early, she’d give me the daycare report. One little boy picks his nose and it’s gross. Another girl wet herself and it got all over the nap pad. And then there was the pregnant teacher who groaned every time she stood up.
As Daisy got out of her car, I went around and opened Laila’s door.
“How was school?” I asked.
She giggled. “I don’t go to school.”
“You’re not a senior yet?”
“Preschool, silly.” She climbed out, dragging her jacket with her. The purple of the material was grayed out from dirt and mud. She dragged it on the ground behind her.
“You’re home early.”
I shrugged. “It’s Friday. Figured it was time to start working more normal hours.” I couldn’t finish winning Daisy back if I was gone all the time. That was partly what had cost me her in the first place.
Fatigue lined Daisy’s face. Just as she was about to say something, she stiffened, then turned and sneezed into her elbow.
“Uh-oh.” I took her purse and her lunch bag, then grabbed the few bags of groceries.
“Yeah,” she said, sounding stuffy. “I wouldn’t get too close.”
I glanced behind me. Laila was just stepping into the house. “That isn’t enough to scare me away, but instead of making you come, I can make you hot lemonade and soup.”
Her shoulders hung but she smiled. “I haven’t had hot lemonade in forever.”
“Let me finish out here, and I’ll make you some. There are some calzones I’m keeping warm in the oven.”
I carried her things inside and set her purse in the mudroom. I took her lunch bag to the island and emptied it out.
She put her hand on my wrist. “I’ve got it. We’ll get the table set.”
The weariness in her voice couldn’t be missed. “No. Let me sweep and pull the cars in.”
I rushed through my tasks, but by the time I returned, the table was set, and steam was coming off the calzones from the center. The girls were just sitting down.
Laila bounced in her chair. “Time to eat, Alder!”
I hadn’t started eating with them, but then I’d been working until nearly her bedtime most nights. On the weekend, either she was at her dad’s, or I was in the middle of a project—or in the office.
I glanced at Daisy, silently asking if Laila was inviting me to eat with them. Daisy gave me a tired smile and a nod. Triumph swelled in my chest. Another rule crossed off the roommate list.
“Can I shower quick?” I asked Laila. “I don’t want to get dust all over.”
“Better hurry,” she said in a singsong voice.
Daisy coughed into her shoulder. She needed to rest, not wait on me.
“You guys get started,” I said. I took the stairs two at a time and ran through the shower as fast as I could. I came down the stairs dressed in my green flannel pajama pants and a hoodie.
The girls were still at the table. Pleased, I took my seat. Pure satisfaction filled me. Sure, there was still most of the table between us, but I was allowed to sit with them. My patience was paying off.
Daisy cut a chunk off her calzone. “Did you make these last weekend and I missed it?”
The only thing I’d been kneading was her ass. It’d been just us last weekend. When Laila was with her dad, Daisy and I lost ourselves in each other. We cuddled on the couch and took showers together. I lived for those days.
But now I was at the table, with them, and that was pretty damn special too. “Store-bought. Sorry.”
She snorted. “Don’t be sorry. They’re amazing.”
“I like them,” Laila said.
Another win. She was admitting to liking what I cooked. “Then I’ll keep getting them.” Whatever made my girls happy.
“Can we watch a movie tonight?” Laila asked.
Daisy’s blinks were heavy. “Sure.”
Laila’s smile was triumphant, but she could probably ask for anything tonight, and if it didn’t require much energy from Daisy, she’d get what she wanted.
“Want to watch a movie?” Laila asked me.
Delight coursed through me at being included. Eating alone at the table when they were home had been better than getting takeout to eat alone while I answered emails at my old house. This trumped it all. I didn’t care if I was two seats down from either of them. “I’d love to. Whatcha watching?”
“ Tangled !” Laila’s answer was instant.
“Haven’t seen it,” I admitted.
She gasped. “You haven’t?” Her eyes were wide. “It’s Mom’s fav-o-rite,” she sang.
Daisy chuckled. “Good thing we’re correcting that right now. After bath time.” She led Laila to the bathroom.
I wolfed down the rest of my calzone and salad and got the dishwasher going. Then I made a couple of quick mugs of warm lemonade with honey. Daisy was snuggled in her usual corner and Laila played with a couple of dolls in the spot next to her. My insides warmed like I was filled with lemonade and honey.
“This might help your throat.” I set the mug for Daisy down on the coffee table and put another with a lid for Laila next to it.
“Ooh.” Laila took a dainty drink.
Daisy smiled at me. “Thank you.”
“Any time.” And I meant it.
To give them space, I sprawled on the love seat.
For much of the movie, Laila would point and say “here” when a funny part was coming. When she giggled, I made sure to laugh too. Before the movie was done, Daisy fell asleep, huddled in a blanket.
I spied on her out of the corner of my eye. Her mouth was open, and I could hear stuffy breaths from here.
“Mommy feels icky,” Laila said when the movie was over.
“Yes, she does.” I shut the TV off. Daisy didn’t rouse. “I hate to wake her. Mind if I read you a book?”
Laila tossed her dolls to the side and scooted off the couch. “Okay. Wait here.”
Pleased, I stayed right where I was. Tonight was a milestone. I ate with them, watched a show with them, and now I got the coveted role of bedtime stories.
She returned after several minutes with no less than ten books, and I fought back laughter. I’d been had by a four-year-old.
She scrambled onto the love seat, heedless of my legs. She tucked herself by my knees. Not too close, but not far enough away to be unable to see. I arranged the books into a neat stack. None of them were very long and most were board books. Except one about a Maine coon cat in red Converse. My mom’s book. She had sent some books once she had the okay from Daisy.
“Should I start with my mom’s book or end with it?”
Laila folded her hands on her lap. “End.”
I read through each story. None of them took very long, but by the time we were done, Laila’s blinks were as long as Daisy’s had been before she’d drifted off.
“How ’bout I walk you to bed?” I lifted the stack and swung my legs down.
Laila pouted and looked at her mom. Soft breaths puffed out of Daisy’s mouth. Finally, Laila slid off the love seat. She tucked her little hand in mine.
My heart stopped. This little girl wasn’t mine, but the truth was, I wanted to be accepted by her like she was. She was shy but kind like her mom. She was reserved, naturally wary, like Daisy. She was a kid I would’ve been proud to call my own. Jason got that honor, but…maybe there was a chance I could too.
“Let’s get you to bed,” I said softly.
When she was cuddled under the covers in almost the same position as Daisy on the couch, I went to the door. “Good night, Laila.”
“Night, Alder,” she said in a sleepy voice.
I was smiling when I went to the living room. Daisy was sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She might be sick, but I got to take care of her.
I squatted next to the coffee table on her side of the couch. “Don’t wake up all the way. You might as well head straight to bed.”
She frowned and blinked around. “Laila?”
“She conned me into ten books, and I just tucked her in.” When she recoiled, the pressure was back, pushing against my sternum. “I hope that was okay. I know you’re not feeling good.”
“No, it’s fine. She let you?”
I nodded.
Her lips stayed in a frown. “Jason said she still doesn’t let his mom put her to bed.”
I wasn’t competing, but I needed signs that Laila wouldn’t hate me for helping her mom. “Does that woman read her ten books?”
“She probably stops at five.”
“There you have it. I aim to please the ladies in my life.” I smirked. “Besides, one book was Mom’s, so I know she has good taste.”
Daisy chuckled softly. “That she does.” She pressed a hand against her head. “I feel hot. Am I hot?”
I replaced her hand with mine. “Yup. Get to bed, and I’ll bring you some meds.”
“I wish you could sleep with me.”
“I know.” I’d love to crawl in with her, but I would still go to bed a contented man. Tonight, I’d gotten to experience everything I had thought was gone.
Daisy
I was lying in bed all day. This was the first time I’d been sick as a parent when I’d been able to do nothing but take care of myself. Even if Jason had been off, he’d been overwhelmed with Laila as a baby and toddler. Alder brought me breakfast and lunch, told me not to worry about Laila, delivered hot lemonade with honey and cold meds, and he’d even set up his tablet with shows for me to watch.
I thought he’d plant Laila in front of the TV or toss toys at her, but her laughter drifted in from outside.
Frowning, I got up. I groaned and pressed my fingertips to my forehead. My sinus headache was returning. I grabbed the water Alder left and found another dose of meds next to it.
That man got sexier doing the most mundane things.
I gulped the pills down and stood. At the window, I lifted the blinds back. Laila and Alder were at the edge of the flower beds by the shed. Her red leggings were half covered in dirt, and she held a small trowel in one hand and a tiny hand rake in the other. Her gloves were filthy. I smiled.
Alder pointed at some dried plants and she nodded. Then he retrieved his own rake and spade from where they were propped against the shed and went to the other side.
I watched with the blinds barely pulled back. Every minute that ticked by, my heart crawled into my throat. This was what I had wanted. Alder as my partner. Alder taking care of me. Alder as an invested parent. This was the life I thought we’d have.
My gaze stayed on him as he worked up the flower bed, his broad shoulders moving under his sweatshirt and his ass flexing in his jeans. If only I could wrap my arms around him and give him a kiss that relayed all my gratitude…and all my love. With none of the germs.
I was sick. He was taking care of me. It couldn’t be anything more than that.
And why not?
My illness robbed me of logic. I couldn’t think of what a bad thing it would be to nurture and grow whatever was going on here.
Alder had changed.
What if I hadn’t? What if I was still incapable of making the right decision with men?
I shook my head. I surely had a fever and this was no time to be making life-changing decisions. I shuffled to the bathroom and then returned to bed. After a nap, I woke to Alder replacing my water.
“Hey. How ya feeling?” His warm smile was more welcome than my cough suppressant.
I closed my eyes to let my hearing get the full effect of his voice. “Like crap.” I cracked an eye open. “But also better.”
“Mommy, I showered!” Laila called from the doorway. Her light hair was a rat’s nest that needed a brush, but she was grinning and dressed in pajamas. “Alder said we can have popcorn.”
“Maybe I’ll join you,” I told her.
Laila disappeared, and Alder smiled. If I weren’t sick, this moment would be damn near perfect.
“Feel up to eating?” Alder asked. “I got Grandma Annie’s potato dumpling soup recipe from Dad.”
My stomach growled. “I’m hungry. I can’t promise I’ll be able to taste it, but the texture sounds amazing.”
He grinned. “Less pressure, then.” He glanced down the hallway. “But I’ll still have the little gardener to impress.”
“I saw you out there with her.”
“Keeps us busy,” he said easily.
Laila flounced around him with an armload of books. She went to the other side of the bed, tossed her stash on the covers, then climbed on. “We can read.”
Fondness filled me. Reading was all kinds of medicine for Laila, and she was trying to treat me.
She pulled out a book. “I want a pair of red shoes. Like May-no-la.”
I exchanged a smile with Alder. Magnolia had—predictably—left an impression on my daughter. I knew the feeling, and I was grateful Laila could experience Magnolia’s zest for life and family.
“She probably heard that from Billings and is already plotting,” Alder joked, his eyes soft. He pushed off the doorframe. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower. Have fun, ladies.”
He gave me a look that said he would love to kiss me, but he was holding back. He had to.
Did he?
I’d love a kiss from him anytime and anywhere, but our situation was more complicated. Different what-ifs were running through my head. Instead of cruising through all the possible fallouts of this arrangement, I started considering the opposite. What if we tried to be the real thing?
Fear didn’t clog my throat like it used to. There was no hopelessness. I started reading Magnolia’s book. Laila had two more of hers waiting in the wings.
His footsteps on the stairs sounded, then a couple of minutes later, the water turned on in the second-level bathroom.
I finished the story and set it aside. I had Laila alone, and while that definitely wasn’t unusual, I wanted to take advantage of the moment. The hunger in my stomach turned to nerves.
I licked my dry lips. “I’m glad that you don’t mind Alder.”
She smiled. “I like him.”
Me too, kiddo . “I also like him a lot.”
She handed me another book. One of Magnolia’s.
I flattened my hand on the top. “What if I started liking him as more than a friend? What would you think of that?”
She shrugged and handed me another book.
This was both easier and harder than I thought. “Like, if we started dating or something. Would that be all right?”
She held her hands up. “I dunno. You and Daddy don’t date.”
“No. Not anymore.”
“He dates other girls.”
Surprised, I gripped the books she’d handed me. “Really?” I bit the inside of my cheek and inspected my feelings. I was more worried about how he was handling dating with our daughter. “Have you met them?”
She shook her head. “He says they’re just friends.”
He was probably as friendly with them as I was with Alder. Perhaps just as cautious. As long as he wasn’t flaunting them around Laila, I wouldn’t worry. He was a more attentive dad as a single guy than when we’d been together.
If Jason was dating again, then maybe he’d take the news that Alder and I had grown close well.
One more what-if popped into my head. What if I asked my husband to start dating?
Alder
Laila was still with Daisy. I didn’t hear the steady cadence of reading. They were talking instead, but I couldn’t hear what about. I dished out the soup and let it cool off before calling the girls to the table. I’d burned myself too many times on this damn soup to let it happen to anyone else.
After several minutes, I went to Daisy’s bedroom. The warmth in my chest had nothing to do with standing over a stove for the last hour. Laila was cuddled against her mom, her chin resting on Daisy’s chest. The stack of books was at the foot of the bed, and they were watching something on the tablet I had set up for Daisy.
As for my wife, her color was less pale and her eyes weren’t as glassy as this morning. That nap must’ve helped.
I stuffed a hand into my pocket. I could stand here for hours, but that’d get creepy. “Soup’s on.”
“I gotta potty first.” Laila rolled off the bed and rushed around me with a grin.
I smiled at Daisy. She stood slowly and stretched, her arms reaching high. Her shirt was too big to show me a glimpse of her abdomen, but my gaze lingered over her hips and breasts as she finished her stretch.
She caught me looking and shyly pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Sorry I haven’t been to your bedroom much this week.”
My feet twitched to go to her. To ease her worries. I didn’t like her just for the sex. I wasn’t here for the damn house either. It was all her. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m glad I can be here, helping you.”
She hugged her arms around herself. “I, uh…talked to Laila. A little. About us.”
The more her words sunk in, the more my shock rose. “Us?” I had to make sure.
Daisy’s gaze skated away. “I wanted to find out how she’d feel if we, you know, dated.”
“We’re not dating, Daisy.”
She rolled her eyes and pinned me with her frank gaze. “I can’t very well tell her that.”
I chuckled, still reeling from her confession. I grew serious. “I want this, Daze. I’m not playing around. Not with you. Not with her. But I’ll only move as fast as you’re comfortable.”
“I’m not comfortable with anything, Alder. You’ve always pushed me out of my comfort zone. And you do it in a way that makes me want it.”
I crossed the bedroom to her and put my hands on her hips. I needed to be close to her for this conversation. “What exactly do you want?”
Her blue eyes shimmered. “You,” she whispered.
“Good. Because I want you. It’s only you I’ve ever wanted, and I’m going to prove that I’ll never let you down again.”
Affection sparkled in her gaze, but a flicker of worry lit the yellow flecks in her irises. “You don’t have to be perfect, you know.”
I’d been too imperfect before. Too slovenly. Too disrespectful. Too irreverent. Never again. “You deserve perfection.”
She snorted. “Neither of us is perfect, though I’m having a hard time finding your flaws.”
“I’m trying to make sure there are none.”
She placed her hands on my chest. “Whatever we do with us, we do together. We listen and we talk, okay?”
“I’m all ears and all mouth, Daze.”
She relaxed and sniffled. “You might get sick if you touch me.”
“I’ll risk it.” I ran my thumb over the back of her hand. “I want to take you out on a real date.”
“I can’t believe we haven’t been on one.”
“We’re doing things out of order.”
She smiled and gripped my hand so our palms were against each other. “Laila’s with Jason next weekend.”
“Then we’ll go out to eat. Get you that steak and sweet potato, nice and fresh.”
“That’s what I ate on our first date,” she said softly.
“I know. And we went to the movies after. So let’s hope the horror movie playing right now is replaced by then.”
She laughed just as the bathroom door clicked open. Her fingers tensed under mine and she gently pulled away. “I’d like to talk to her more before we do this.”
And we were doing this. I was finally going to date my wife.