Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Daisy
My bedroom door was closed. I held up one pale pink, long-sleeved shirt, then a loose-knit sweater that was good for cool spring weather.
Alder wasn’t home yet. Jason had picked Laila up from daycare, so I’d returned earlier than on a normal weekday. Alder planned to take me out tonight, and I had to decide what to wear.
I had on my best pair of jeans. They made my legs look curvy and would pair well with the brown suede shoes I had.
I held the sweater up. It’d cover my hips and didn’t cling to my stomach. I might want to impress Alder, but I would decimate my meal. I didn’t get to eat out very much, thanks to an asshole ex and my bad judgement.
My phone buzzed from where I’d tossed it on the bed. I hung the long-sleeved shirt up and shrugged into the sweater. Then I checked my phone.
Alder: Sorry, my meeting is running late.
Disappointment curled through my belly. I fought off flashbacks. The Alder from before never would’ve texted so promptly. He’d have made me wait for a couple of hours until I reached out and then he’d claim he’d forgotten and tell me I was overreacting.
Daisy: Okay.
I tugged at my sweater and went out to the couch and scrolled through my phone, trying not to watch the minutes rack up.
An hour ticked by. My phone vibrated.
Alder: Should be wrapping up soon.
A tendril of dread swirled through my gut. More like hunger pangs. I’d been dreaming about the meal I’d order. Takeout wasn’t the same as fresh. My taste buds could only be placated but not fooled.
I turned the TV on and ordered my stomach to settle down. This wasn’t like before. Alder wasn’t at the bar with work buddies. He wasn’t staying in Williston an extra night because he’d gotten too drunk to drive home after work.
Before long, an engine sounded outside. I popped up off the couch and took a step, then stopped. I had planned to peek around the curtain, but I would not be a desperate woman. I would not be that nagging new wife from before.
Someone knocked on the front door. Confused, I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. I had thought Alder was home, but he would come in through the garage.
I peeked outside only to find Alder waiting on the front stoop.
Opening the door, I frowned. “Is there something wrong with the garage door?”
He grinned, but an apology darkened his eyes. “I wanted to pick you up like a real date. To make up for being late.”
I dropped my gaze down, past his charcoal suit coat and tie, over slacks of the same color, to his sharp loafers. He was not dressed for steak and potatoes in a small-town bar and grill. “We’d look like the odd couple.”
“I’d look like I was trying to impress you. And I am.” He held his elbow out. “Ready?”
I smiled and hooked my arm through his. At the pickup, he opened the door but stopped me before I got in.
He tipped my chin up. “You look sexy as hell. I should’ve led with that.”
I preened inside. “Mm, maybe tell me two more times tonight to make up for it.”
Concern creased the corners of his eyes. “I really am sorry.”
“I know, but you were working. It’s okay.”
He studied my expression, his gaze vacillating back and forth between my eyes. Then he lowered his head and pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of my mouth. “If I take it any further, I’m afraid I’ll ruin our date night.”
“Can’t have that.”
“Later,” he said, his voice full of promise.
My smile didn’t disappear all the way to Rattler’s. It was crowded for a Friday, but we got a high-top table in the bar. Alder pulled my chair out for me and everything. Self-consciousness rode along my shoulders, but I was too excited to be out. On a date. With Alder Duke. It was like being in high school again.
“Hello, Mr. Duke,” an older woman said. She smiled from him to me. She was vaguely familiar.
“Alice,” Alder said warmly. “Nice to see you out of the office.”
Yes, Alice. She worked in the headquarters office, and her headshot was in her signature block.
“Nice to see you doing more than work,” she said. “You as well, Daisy.”
“She keeps me out of trouble,” Alder joked.
Alice rushed along with a final wave. When we were seated with drinks in front of us, I stared at the handsome businessman across from me, and words vanished from my brain. This was Alder. The boy I’d met when I was a freshman. The guy I’d lost my virginity to. The kid who used to take me on horseback rides and pack picnics. He was also the man who’d gotten through college at lightning speed. The Alder who climbed his way up from the oil fields to the C-suite.
We’d been in the house, living our separate-but-together married life, isolated from the outside world. I went to work married. My coworkers knew, but they weren’t the type to get hung up on the emotions of it. I’d remarried my ex, and he happened to be the CEO. But then someone like Alice saw us out and…I was married to the top guy.
“You’re my boss,” I blurted out.
The couple next to us looked over, and Alder smirked. I didn’t recognize them, but Rattler’s got customers from all the surrounding small towns and the employees of the big industries nestled among the fields and buttes.
Alder’s chuckle was lost in the noise of the bar. “There are a few levels of separation.”
“More than a few.” I gave my head a shake. He was that high up. And I was that far down. “I know I’ve seen you coming and going from the house wearing your suits and your shiny shoes, but it just hit me.” How far we’d diverged.
He’d probably built up a nice retirement portfolio, while I got only what my job put away for me. I couldn’t even put a dime into savings. Forget making an account of any sort for Laila. She’d be in the same boat I’d been in. Years of school loans. I’d have to talk to her about dodgy men who seemed too good to be true.
“You are at the top,” I said and I let my pride out. “You remember when you used to shrug off when people would ask if you were following in your dad’s footsteps? You didn’t think you could do it.”
“No.” He swallowed hard. “I’d hear that, and I’d know what they didn’t. That I was young and immature. That I had almost gotten thrown in jail the night before.” When my eyes widened, he gave me an apologetic smile. “I haven’t told you about that.”
“About what?”
“My antics happened more after the divorce, but the one I’m thinking of is street racing. Lots of straight, desolate highways between here and Williston.”
“And now you take a helicopter there? I think you’ve matured.”
“Sometimes it’s a private plane.”
I laughed. “I’m proud of you. Maybe more than a little impressed.”
Instead of shrugging off my words, he sat on them for a few moments, his gaze introspective. Then he gave me one nod, an acknowledgment, as if he’d finally reached the end of a long journey. “Have I told you how sexy you are?”
“You have one more obligatory statement,” I joked.
“You’re sexy, you’re sexy, you’re sexy.”
When the bartender appeared at our side, Alder didn’t take his gaze off me. He ordered for the both of us. The bartender even gave me the side-eye, like he wondered if I was truly okay with that.
Yes. Absolutely. Alder was the only man who’d ever understood me. Being with him was like getting the other half of myself back.
Alder
We’d been at the restaurant for over an hour, and we’d have to leave soon for the movie. I didn’t care where we went or what we did as long as I was with my wife.
I was laughing at a story she was telling of how one of her coworkers performed with an alphorn for them when a shadow fell beside me.
“Holy shit?” a guy boomed. “Crazy A?”
I nearly choked, my eyes bulging out. I remembered a lot from my wild years, but I’d forgotten that godforsaken name.
Tension knotted at my temples. I turned my assessing gaze to the sort of familiar voice. He wore jeans and a hoodie with the name of the coal mine out of Washburn, and his ball cap was embroidered with the green-and-yellow NDSU Bison logo. He had short, dark hair with faint glints of gray. Same with his scruff. He grinned broadly, and the sight tugged at my memory.
“Yes?” I asked politely.
He held his arms out and waited. His smile froze for a moment and he laughed. “Dude, it’s me. Matthew.” He dropped his arms and nudged me with an elbow. “Matty the Tank.”
Awareness dawned on me, and a flood of memories cascaded back that I would rather stayed locked away. Matty the Tank because he could hold as much beer as a thousand-gallon tank, and Crazy A because my ideas had been insane.
“Sorry, Matthew, I didn’t recognize you,” I said woodenly, sneaking a gaze at Daisy.
Her lightness from tonight was gone, and tension pinched at her flattened lips.
“No kidding.” He slapped my back. If I hadn’t been concentrating on core workouts for the last ten years, I’d have ended up with my face in my empty sweet potato peel. “You probably don’t recognize me when I’m not piss-drunk.” He guffawed. “I never would’ve thought it was you, but I saw the announcement that you’re the head at the refinery. No shit? Who’d have thought?”
“Not me,” I said honestly.
He shifted his gaze to Daisy, and surprise lit his face. “Daisy? I thought you two—” He sobered, and I admired his recovery. “Nice to see you again.”
“Hi, Matty— Matthew.”
His smile was congenial. “No ‘Matty the Tank’ for me.” He cocked his head toward me. “The big guy here isn’t the only one who cleaned up his act.” He waved at someone by the entrance. A woman with ink-black hair in a long braid flashed him a “hurry up” look, then she saw us. She wandered over, more curious than irritated.
“This is my wife, Stella.” He put an arm around her. “This is Alder and his…” His gaze landed on Daisy’s ring finger and relief crossed his face. “Wife. Hon, remember that guy I told you about when I was working outside of Williston? The one who made us all go ice fishing in nothing but boots and a scarf?”
Ah, hell. I could’ve done without that reminder. I hadn’t been the type to fuck around with other women, but I’d had a ton of other bad ideas. I’d cut loose in ways that should’ve shortened my life and others’. Thank fuck they hadn’t.
Stella chuckled. “The naked ice fishing. Yes, I recall that story, among many.”
“Too many,” I said, pushing my empty beer farther away. I’d only had one, but it was sitting sour in my stomach.
“I have you to thank,” Stella said. She turned her attention to Daisy. “All the wild was out of Matthew by the time we met.”
“Had to be or I’d lose my liver.” Pride beamed from Matthew’s face. “Now, I’m coaching Little League and building sets for the school play our kids are in.”
My shoulders unknotted at the mention of kids. He’d grown up and would maybe see our glory days as the wasted time they were. “How many kids do you have?”
“Two,” he replied. “They’re ten and six. Both boys.” He dug out his phone and flashed us his screen. A happy family stared back at us. “How ’bout you two?”
Daisy exchanged a look with me. Did I appear as panicked as I felt? How should I answer?
“I have a girl from a previous relationship,” Daisy answered. “Alder and I were divorced for almost fifteen years.”
“And now we’re married again,” I said lightly. I didn’t want the past to rain on our night. “Who knew cleaning stuff like naked ice fishing out of my life and getting a good job would help me win her back?”
Stella’s eyes softened. “That’s so sweet. I’m happy for you two.”
“No more pasture polo either,” Matthew said.
Daisy lifted her brows at me.
More wild memories, goddammit. “Uh, no. Figured I should give up trying to race bulls.”
“Some of them buggers were fast.” Matthew slapped me on the back again. “How are we still alive?”
“There were a lot of mornings I wondered that.”
“You know what?” Matthew looked around. “I thought I saw— There he is. Hey, Juan. Come here!”
My stomach dropped. Not another blast from the past. What had I expected? I’d grown up in Coal Haven. My worst years were spent here. Witnessed here. Many of those spectators—buddies, bartenders, passersby—still lived in the community.
Shit.
Juan swaggered over. He’d been one of the main crew I’d hung out with. We had worked the same shifts and had carpooled to the job site. Afterward, we had partied.
“No fucking way.” Juan grinned and ran a hand through his spiky black hair. Unlike me and Matthew, he wasn’t sporting flecks of gray. “Crazy A Duke.”
I cringed at the nickname. “Just Alder now. The crazy is over with.”
His laugh wasn’t as loud as Matthew’s. “I heard you were back in town, but I didn’t believe it.” He let out a wistful sigh. “I guess we all have to grow up sometime. You just fell off the face of the earth, and then when I heard about you again, you’re the big guy.”
“I decided to work hard instead of play hard,” I said.
Matthew’s snort echoed in my ear. “I can believe you’re the CEO if you worked as hard as you played.”
“It was epic.” Juan’s grin slipped. “For real, I won’t be telling my kids about any of the shit I did. How did we not get arrested?”
“By someone’s good grace.” And I owed that guy who’d told me to never set foot on his land again or he’d call the cops.
Juan stuffed a finger over his shoulder. “I was just at the bar talking to Porter. Remember him? He used to bartend downtown.”
I held in my groan. Another person who knew just what an idiot I was. How many of those bartenders and liquor store employees were still in the area? How many more Matthews and Juans? What the hell did Daisy think after hearing all this?
“Wait until I tell Gavin you’re back in town. You know he’s a loan officer at the bank now? Said his back couldn’t take the oil field anymore.”
A part of me was happy for Gavin. He’d been less wild, more likely to go home earlier. Now he was an upstanding citizen. But dammit, why’d he have to clean up and stay in town?
I moved here for my career. For Daisy. I didn’t expect my past to stop at my table and provide living accounts of what had ruined my marriage.
“Nice to see you again.” Juan shook my hand, pumping it hard. “If I see any full moons in the pastures, I’ll know it’s you.”
He and Matthew laughed. Stella joined in. Daisy smiled politely but shot me a concerned look. I didn’t realize I was laughing but the congenial businessman in me was finely honed. Charm went a long way.
If I see any full moons in the pastures, I’ll know it’s you.
Fuck me.
“Well, we’ll let you two be.” Matthew hugged his wife tighter. I was happy for the man. Mostly grateful my stupid ideas hadn’t gotten us killed. They were about to turn away when Matthew pinned me with his brown gaze. “Oh, hey. Do I recall correctly that you used to play baseball? We could always use more coaches.”
Me? Coach? “I…”
“We’re hoping to field enough teams for everyone interested. T-ball has a ton of kids signed up this year. Daisy, how old’s yours?”
“Four,” she said.
“Perfect.” Matthew grinned. “Bring her out.”
“I don’t think it’s her thing, but I appreciate the offer.” Daisy’s lips twitched as if she couldn’t picture Laila picking up a bat.
Matthew dug out his phone. “Let me get your number, Alder. I’ll get you guys the information.”
I couldn’t see myself having time to coach, but I gave him my number.
When they were gone, I met Daisy’s stare, bracing myself for her disappointment.
“Naked ice fishing?” she asked with a wry twist to her lips. “Crazy A?”
“My behavior escalated after the divorce.” My ideas had gotten more reckless and dangerous. “Nearly froze my balls off.”
She made a tsking noise. “Good thing you didn’t. I’ve found them useful.”
I laughed but the humor quickly drained out of me. “Sorry. For all the reminders.”
“I’m not sure I recall racing bulls.”
“It was after our time too. And also naked.” I grimaced. “I sprained my ankle that night and nearly got fired because I was late the next morning for work.” I dropped my attention to my empty beer mug. She’d just told me she was proud of me. How’d she feel now?
A server came by to clear our empty plates and glasses. Daisy was looking around the restaurant. Was she trying to guess who else would pop up and recount some ridiculous stunt I’d pulled?
“That whole exchange actually made me feel better.” When I looked up, surprised, she nodded. “I pictured you naked, yes, but surrounded by beautiful women, living your best life.”
“My best days were in high school and right now.”
Her mouth curved up, and those blue gems of hers sparkled. “If you’re trying to get laid, keep going.”
“We have to finish the date properly, and we have a movie to get to. Then you’re all mine.”
Daisy
The pickup seat was back as far as it could go, the windows were fogged up, and my pants were in the back seat with my underwear. I was astride my husband and tilted forward so my head didn’t hit the top of the cab as I rode him.
Being on a date with Alder, in that suit, had been more than my restraint could take. As soon as he had parked in the garage and hit the button to close the door, I’d been all over him.
“Alder,” I whimpered.
“Not yet,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’ve been picturing you like this,” he panted, rolling his hips up into me. “Since that first night.” Grunt. “You made it impossible for me to get inside this vehicle without getting fucking hard.”
His fingers tightened at my hips. He hadn’t even touched my clit. He didn’t need to. This angle allowed the perfect amount of friction. I ground down on him, my moan ragged.
“Come for me, Daze.” He squeezed the globes of my ass. “I want to hear you scream.”
My breathing was rough, mingling with his grunts. He didn’t have much leverage, and I’d already honked the horn with my butt once.
Pleasure built, from my core to the base of my skull, and mushroomed outward. My nipples were tight peaks and arousal pulsed white hot where Alder and I were connected.
“Alder,” I said again, a plea. I was so close.
“I know what you need.” He slid his long fingers around my neck and brought my head down for a kiss.
I licked out, meeting his tongue with mine. He broke apart only far enough to slip his fingers in between my lips. I sucked on his rough fingertips. Then he removed them to slide his hand between our bodies.
As soon as the extra pressure hit my clit, energy coursed through my body, hot and chaotic. I bucked, my climax hitting me hard. I bopped my head off the top of the cab. Alder hugged me closer to him as I shook through my climax, keeping me safe from any more head knocks.
I was just coming down when he stiffened under me. His hold tightened as he exploded inside me. My core filled with blistering heat as he pumped in and out.
“God—Alder.” I soared back into an orgasm, or a continuation of the first one. I didn’t care. Pure pleasure streamed through my veins, holding steady, then I floated back down.
I blinked my eyes open. He gave me a lazy grin, and I started laughing.
“Look at the windows,” I said. We’d fogged up every single pane of glass.
He chuckled and ran his hands up and down my back under my sweater. “I don’t remember this from our first date.”
“Everything’s two point oh now, including our dates.”
“I love you, Daisy.”
We fell quiet. My heartbeat thumped at the base of my throat. He’d said it before, but this time was less urgent. Less desperate. The circumstances made it more sincere.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready,” he said after several moments.
Not ready? I was so ready that it terrified me. I’d been ready for years.
I let my fingertips bump over the faint stubble already dusting his chin. “It’s not that. I guess… I’m just afraid I’m going to mess it up. Should I admit that I never stopped loving you? Is that sweet or does it put me in creepy-obsessive territory?”
His easy grin was back. “If it’s creepy-obsessive territory, then I’m right there with you.”
I stroked my hands over his face. “I love you.” The freedom of saying those words would make me float away if we weren’t in the pickup. “I really love you.”
“Goddamn, Daisy. Do you know how long I have waited to hear that again?” He grabbed both of my hands in his. “Do you know how much I feared I’d never hear it from you again? That you’d never mean it?”
I pressed my mouth against his. I’d had all the same fears, only I had assumed it’d never happen.
He kissed me back, delving in deep with his tongue. His cock twitched inside of me.
I hated to pull away, but I did, easing off him. “I know you can go again, but I can’t feel my knees.”
“I don’t mind. I wanted to crawl into bed with you, wrap you up in my arms, and go to sleep.”
I was glowing as I scrambled into my pants for the chilly run through the garage. In the house, I got ready for bed, using the bathroom before changing into loose pajama shorts and a matching pink top. He stripped down to his underwear.
“Remember the roommate rules?” I asked as I crawled into bed.
He got in beside me. “I remember each one, and I’m mostly confident you don’t want to enforce them.”
I smirked and curled right into him. I snuggled against his chest. His breathing was steady, but a tightness resonated through his body.
I rubbed my hand over his pecs. “Something on your mind, Duke?”
“When can I start going to bed with you again? When Laila’s here?”
The real world was impeding on my fantasy time with Alder, but that was a good thing. It should be a good thing.
When should we let my daughter see that I was getting serious with a guy who was sold to her as a roommate? She’d been open to the dating idea, but would that be different than knowing for certain we were dating?
“You can tell me what you’re thinking too,” he said. “No matter how bad it is, I want you to be open with me. I want to know those critical thoughts swirling around in your head.” He trailed his fingers over my shoulder.
My hesitation lingered.
“I know I need to earn your trust again,” he said quietly. “I know why you don’t want to open up with me.”
“No, it’s not—” Maybe a part of me was afraid he’d brush me off. That he’d roll his eyes, say Okay, Mom , and I’d be standing alone again. Hadn’t he shown me how much he was trying? It’d been months. “She’s starting to like you. She’s getting used to bouncing between houses, and if we date, then we’ll start sleeping together like this when she’ll know, and I honestly don’t know how much a four-year-old can understand. Then we’re…married. So you’re not a guy I’m dating, you’re her stepdad. When we go out in town, people will treat you as her stepdad. And if… What if…”
I hated to say it, but our track record was there in an official document. As much as we wanted to start over, we didn’t have a clean slate.
“What if we don’t work?” he said, resigned.
“Yes,” I whispered as my heart convulsed. If things between us didn’t work out a second time, that was it. I’d fall so far there would be no bottom. I’d be single the rest of my life, and Laila would grow up watching me try to pretend to be happy after experiencing what true happiness was like.
“I’m doing everything I can,” he said, determination pouring out of him. “I’ll even coach T-ball if that’ll show you I’m a changed man.”
A changed man—or a family man? “I know you, Alder. You’ve already shown me.”
In the dark, I felt the tension ripple through him. “I feel like I should, and not just for you. I can wear the suit. I can run the refinery, but there are a lot of Matthews out there who remember naked me running through their pastures or racing down their streets, and I don’t have the excuse that I was a teen. I was plenty old enough.”
I draped myself over his chest. I’d been worrying about myself. He was going through his own ordeal from the divorce and how things ended. How he’d acted. I’d noticed how his eyes had filled with dread when Juan had made the comment about finding him running nude through pastures again. Somewhere inside him, he was afraid that no one thought he had changed.
“Seeing your buddies tonight bothered you.” I didn’t have to ask it as a question.
He didn’t answer right away. His chest rose and fell. His heartbeat remained steady. “It bothered me enough to get me to really consider coaching kids, any kids. Hell, I’ll direct the summer play if that gets the guys to quit associating me with Crazy A.”
“Does it really matter?” I asked. “Look at who you are.”
“But to them, I’ll always be that guy . The one who gave up his wife for all-nighters, mud runs, and hick games in the middle of someone’s pasture.” He let out a disgusted noise. “All the Barrons are going to be at Violet and Evander’s wedding reception next month. I’m sure some of them remember what I was like.”
“You’re not that guy anymore.”
He rolled me over and stretched himself above me. I was in my pajama shorts and top, and he was in his boxer briefs, but that would change soon enough judging from the hard ridge pressing against my stomach. “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?”
He used to say that in high school, and I still couldn’t figure out what he saw in me. “No.”
He lined kisses along my collarbone. “You gonna be there to cheer on my T-ball games?”
“So now I’m going to be the CEO’s wife and the coach’s wife?”
He hooked his fingers around my shorts. “It all means you’re my wife.”