Chapter 13 Affairs of the Heart
THIRTEEN
AFFAIRS OF THE HEART
CINDY
Ryan finally repaired my car, even though I didn't complain about how long it took. It turned out, in this small town, I didn’t need a car much to get around. And Ryan seemed always glad of any reason to drive me here and there as needed.
It was a joke between us he’d drug his feet on the repairs, just in case I decided to leave town again. “No car, no leaving,” he’d whisper while kissing that sensitive spot he was an expert at finding under my earlobe.
I’d laugh with him, and only a tiny part of me worried, like a wild animal whose freedom was being stripped away bit by bit.
I quickly put those thoughts aside, though, as the Hale house clean up was coming along, almost restored to its previous farmhouse beauty, and maybe a tad better. Through the bathroom repairs, Ryan talked Kevin into letting him expand it, stealing more room from Marcie’s old bedroom closet.
Mom would have liked the little improvements, I believed, although daily I squashed any notions of also ripping out the walls between the kitchen, dining and living rooms to make a more open, inviting space. It wasn’t really my house, after all; I lived here on borrowed time.
Kevin Kerrigan allowed me to live here rent-free for a few months, so that meant my savings remained intact.
I could probably talk him into letting me live here a few more months beyond that even.
At some point, though, I’d need to think about a more permanent solution for my life.
Like next steps for my career, where to live . . .
For now, Ryan and I were having too much fun with each other again, as if we’d turned back the clock hands and pretended New York City and my time there never existed.
Yes, finally I could admit how much Ryan had found his way deep into my heart—where he’d been living the entire time, anyway. We just hadn’t talked openly yet about things like hearts and souls and forever.
When Gabby dropped me off at Ryan’s auto shop to pick up my car, I found him swaying inside with Rose in his arms. The view of him with a baby was another reason for staying. More and more, I fantasized he might be the father to my child one day.
He hadn’t heard me come in behind him. With ruby cheeks and half-closed eyes, Rose’s body hung limp on him and didn’t appear well.
Ryan juggled her while listening to the police scanner.
“All units, please be advised there’s a big accident on the highway. Fire crews and ambulances have been called. Tow trucks needed as well.”
“Shit,” he muttered.
“Hey. Sounds like a busy afternoon ahead.” He turned at the sound of my voice, the dark shadows under his eyes catching me by surprise.
Poor guy, my heart cried for him. Since returning to Glendale Falls, I’d seen him do so much for everyone around here. Too much, at times. But that was Ryan, always the big fish in the little pond.
The quarterback king who led the team to their last record and season of glory. The Mister Fix-It, who everyone called for everything. That’s the kind of man he was, never complaining.
“It’s been crazy all day, starting with this one running a fever since two this morning. Day care won’t take kids in this condition until the fever breaks. Trudy’s out of town for a few days. I can’t seem to get ahold of anyone to watch her.”
“You could have asked me,” I offered. Rose and I had spent more time together, never alone, always with Ryan, but we seemed to get along. “I’ll watch her.”
“Really? You’re a lifesaver, Cynthia. I owe you later, lots of sex, I promise.” He kissed my forehead. “Let me lock up and I’ll take you two upstairs.”
With comfortable living quarters above Red’s Auto Repair, it was cozy enough for a single guy and his daughter, on nights and weekends, when it was his turn to care for her.
I never got in the way of whatever arrangement he had with Trudy. Both of them only wanted things to be amicable for Rose’s sake. She had made no attempt to reach out to me, although if things continued between me and Ryan, somehow, I’d have to face her.
Affairs of the heart were never easy. She and Ryan had a baby together, but I didn’t intend to swoop back in town and steal her man, as she reportedly had told some people in town. Ryan assured me I needn’t feel guilty about anything.
Like a mirror to my past, though, I understood how Trudy’s feelings got hurt by my return. James’ wife had taken the news about me poorly when our affair came to light. Every day, I had to live with that, even though I never set out to be a home-wrecker.
James certainly deserved equal blame for being the cheating asshole he was; I wasn’t the first young woman he’d mentored and groomed into a relationship with him, I’d later found out.
The only thing saving me from a walk with guilt where Trudy was concerned was knowing Ryan’s heart belonged to me in the first place.